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Episode 11 Confessionals

lmfaooOOAOOAOMLMAOOOOOOOOOOO RHEA IS DRAGGING ME TO FILTH WHEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW and lydia was like "i wanted this to happen this is good..." LIKE RLY.... OKAY??LMFAO I THINK lydia is acting a lot more calm than she is. and maybe she does trust me a lot still? i mean i told her i wanted to make the move i just didnt include her in it so i didnt leave her completely in the dark. um but yeah rhea FLIPPED SHIT on me saying that shes sick of people thinking she doesnt have a brain?? LIKE RHEA ITS NOT PERSONAL STOP. she literally told me something today where i was like ok... now i cant tell rhea cause she'll tell junior or lydia or something AND I JUST WANTED MY PLAN TO WORK KEH??? but i think i can get rhea's trust back and same with lydia. christine is doing damage control with mitch and sam and christine and i have the votes of kendall chris and kevin now so i mean ???? i think we're looking pretty good even though we kinda made ourselves a bit of a target. but HONEY we have an idol :) and i told christine about it yesterday and she flipped out and i was like omfg YAS i trust christine so much shes my ride or die in this game and i'd honestly use the idol on her if i needed to. even though she flipped with me i feel like i'm gonna take the blame for it cause she's just so sweet and no one hates her but whatever. SUGAR AND SPICE ARE KILLIN IT

Ohhh man we really did that huh! I literally can't believe that happened. Like apparently the other, uglier side's plan was to vote off Chris instead of me which I'm perfectly fine with (no offense Chris <3).Christine was one of the votes for me so it should have been 2 votes me and 3 votes Chris except some bitch decided to vote me??? Like maybe you shouldn't do that. And now we have at least four people, and hopefully Christine can be our fifth. I'll convince if I have to but I'd rather Jake or Chris or Kendall or literally anyone who isn't me to do that since they know her better since they've played the game with her longer... I mean I believe I could do it but it'd be an easier route. I doubt they would accept the flippers and if they did Christine and Jake would be on the bottom and if those two did flip who would get my jury vote? Not them at the very least.

The aftermath of the vote has been...well probably not too bad. Rhea is mad at me because I didn't tell her about the Junior vote. You know, just like how Rhea didn't tell me that people were voting for me either. Like I was looking forward to working with Rhea/pretending to want to work with Lydia (who was visibly upset in tribal chat :~) ), until both of them knew my name was gonna be there last night...and where were they? Nowhere in sight. And Rhea literally told me like two hours before tribal when I knew they had already decided on a split vote and was like "Omg I have no idea what's happening!!!" ...girl okay. And then today she's like "You told me I was the only who you trusted!!!" which is true... Because I really thought everyone was against me. But maybe my trust in you fell when you decided not to tell me what was up last night??? Just maybe. I still love Rhea but jeez, I can't tell her everything.

Soo as of now my biggest concern is getting Christine on our side which hopefully shouldn't be a problem?? But I never want to sound too sure because who wants to sound like a cocky asshat right before they get booted so :/

*Moments Later*

oh boy touchy subjects this is my first time playing this challenge and i cannot wait for my entire tribe to turn on me because of this. my top priority is to not offend christine because she's the person we need. idk what the other side is doing, hopefully they don't figure out she's the swing vote (although she'll probably run over to them during tribal). I know Chris has talked to her, I don't know how it went and idk what Kendall's done. I'll probably talk to her more today but I want her to trust me so I'll probably just avoid that subject so I won't be a pest???

I haven't confessed anything in a long ass time. Since Junior left, and that was a bummer. But...it was also really revealing? I know that Jake and Christine are a pair, which I already sort of knew, but this confirms it. I know that Christine handles Mitch and Sam for them. Honestly, those two probably have two final four alliances and idk where I fall in that?

Anyways, touchy subjects. Holy shit. I didn't know these people disliked me that much. It wouldn't bother me, I've gotten answers like that before, except that I got outta my way to be nice to some of these kids. No respect.

Just such a pet peeve of mine when my alliance is all 'I only said it because I knew the minority hated you' Cause the minority cannot make up the majority of the votes, hoe. That's what 80% of this game is about, jeeeesus. I'm not really that mad though, I'm datable af so maybe my future bae is just waiting to get voted out by me next.

It's 3:30AM. Junior went home last round which is surprising, but eh whatever. I could never exactly find my footing with him as far as personal relations go, so he's a loss I can cut. Splitting votes never works on Tumblr Survivor and frankly I think we weren't bright in trying it. I wasn't going to spearhead the movement to place all the votes on Chris though. So far sitting back has gotten me farther than I've ever gotten, so I'm glad this is working. I came close to finding an idol, but someone has snatched it from me. I'm fairly certain it's Lydia, but I'm not going to bring it up to her. Her and I click well and I'd like to keep this relationship going for as long as I can. I know Lydia's very suspicious of everyone around her, but I'm giving her good reason to trust me. Touchy Subjects was very fun. Of course I'm saying that because I got nice answers. Most honest, funniest, most likely to be on the real show, and host's pet. Which is to be expected since Kendall and I are in Mayo with Kait and Jenn. I hope this doesn't paint a hero's picture of me, and I hope this doesn't put a target on my back for being likable. Interesting guesses from other people where my name was thrown around. Touchy Subjects brings out the worst in people; I know my guard is up for this vote. Of course I'm going to be as casual as possible about it... that 6-member alliance chat is void with Jake in it. Jake won immunity. I'm very skeptical of where his loyalties are after voting out Junior, and I can't imagine he's letting the game float by him. I don't ever speak with him, which will bite me in the ass later. The longer I let problems like that fester the more it'll hurt me. But I continue to sit back and let my non-existent relationships work out. Speaking of non-existant relationships, I may have let bridges rot with Chris, Kendall, and Kevin. I like them all, but I can't work up the nerve to speak with them lest it seem like I'm trying to make moves or garner jury favor. Maybe with me being voted most honest they'll take my word at face value. Of course I'm not going to lie to them, but I'll work around my honesty as best I can. Christine and Samuel continue to be my best allies, but I'm worried about Samuel putting me on a pedestal. I feel like the figurehead in our alliance, which will fuck me up if we're found out. I don't think anyone sees the three of us as tight, but then again I have the social awareness of a cucumber. I'm just hoping the three of us can fly under the radar until it's too late. Lydia and Rhea continue to be assets to me. I have no reason to vote them or create distrust. Lord knows what I'll do if the final 5 ends up being us though. My hope is to get rid of Chris tonight. I want to keep Kendall around, but if people are throwing her name out I won't spearhead the movement to take it out of people's mouths. Jury management is poor on my behalf. Hell if I know if Alex or Jordan even like me. I can at least tell Junior I didn't vote against him. I know Austin likes me, so there's that. I'm not confident I'll make it to the end. I'm going to continue to sit and let things come to me. It's not broken, I won't fix it. I'm proud of me for not stirring the pot. It fucked me in Sri Lanka and it won't fuck me again without dinner first.

I need to at least clear up some doubt with Jake. I don't know what he wants. I was close to winning immunity myself, but I hope people don't see me as a challenge threat. I need to lay low in that aspect next time. How to Succeed in Tumblr Survivor: 1. Lay low. 2. Lay even lower. 3. Play up the fact that you're laying low so you think you're a strategic genius. 4. ????? 5. Win.

DID I MENTION MERMAID LAGOON IS MISSING??? FUCK KAIT/JENN I NEED THAT BACK, THANKS. Also we're Cambodia, ten person jury. How iconic. This is just thought vomit by this point. Fuck I hate this. If actual Survivor is like this I'm never applying. I hate forgetting to talk to people... and then coming back is weird because it's like "HEY FUCKER I NEED YOU FOR SOMETHING" which is a big red flag. I have the day off tomorrow. I'll see if I can't talk to folks... Not even about the game. I like getting to know these people. Putting down their names for negative answers for this challenge spiritually hurt me. Lydia seemed really hurt by the answers she received, and I would be too. I even put her name down for some bad things... I feel guilty but I can't expose that to her. Being voted most likely to go on Survivor really inspires me. I should get my life together so I can do that. I bought Fire Emblem Fates last week. I'm paying attention to it way more than I am this game or my finals, and yet I'm still rocking both things. A metaphor for my life. It's 4AM.

Jake & his fake, flipping ass: lol I'm gonna flop at touchy subjects!!! also jake: wins????

Also breaking news Lydia thinks I'm the devil or something. She called me a goat even though Samuel is still in this tribe (I mean I sometimes forget he's in the game lmao), says I don't deserve to be here (who's been to tribal every night? this bitch), and said I'm most likely to flip. Okay...maybe that's true because I flipped once but I flipped on Jordan Pines. who wouldn't do that. Also who the fuck said I'm playing for second place? I'll admit I've been messy at some times but still whoever you people are you're wrong.

Soo idk what's gonna happen tonight. Our fate appears to be in the hands of Christine tonight so she better log on. Our alliance literally just started talking and the only suggestion has been Mitch (from me), because he's kinda sorta good at flash games and most of the challenges this season are flash games for some reason. But the target may change, it depends on whether or not Christine is comofortable with Mitch going; I'll be honest, I'm fine with any of those four going. Jake is apparently high or something because he wants to get Lydia and Rhea to flip to us. They're saying they're on the bottom of their alliance and that is absolutely shocking who would've seen that coming :o Tonight doesn't seem as stressful as it was last tribal but you never wanna get too comfortable y'know because just when the game swings your way it takes one vote (and it does tonight) to make your plan fall apart.

*Moments Later*

bye i fucked up i probably scared christine or something and now i'm going home because of my messy game!!! it was a blast

*Moments Later*

false alarm it's just my ass being paranoid because Christine's eating dinner whoops!!! She told me she might vote Kendall because they haven't talked (I probably should have told Kendall to talk to her when I told Chris but I was still mad oops) which is probably the worst reason to vote someone out at this stage??? Like why vote out the person who's supposedly a social flop. That's what I told her. Jake is trying to work his magic for a second round and flip Christine again but honestly I don't know if it'll work unless he comes up with some lie or something...but if Christine really doesn't go with us...we're on the bottom once more :/

*Moments Later*

god what is even happening we're making decisions at the eleventh hour literally kill me at once

soo the plan was for mitch which was quickly dissolved and then i wanted lydia but kendall was like no she's a meat shield and then we targetted rhea and i got paranoid because jake wasn't talking and we needed christine and then i was probably messy again by telling christine to not kendall because i'd rather keep her for now??? (if kendall drags me to f3 and beats me delete this confessional okay) so then jake's like vote rhea at 9:30 or something and rhea is STILL complaining about not being told about the junior plan (it's called a blindside for a reason!!! <3 ya tho) and now my heart has SHATTERED into pieces as I've been forced to vote out my former favorite person on Barrie. Rip the queen of rocks, but hopefully Christine stays true to the plan.

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