Once you give yourself to him, you depend on him. Will it be enough? Has he surrendered to you too? It's the tightrope of love. Will you want me in your life? Will you want me for yourself?
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@susiblog
Once you give yourself to him, you depend on him. Will it be enough? Has he surrendered to you too? It's the tightrope of love. Will you want me in your life? Will you want me for yourself?
Just me, just a dress, and nothing else.
Ten months have passed between these two photos. I thought I'd run out of tears. That I'd never get involved again. That I'd use men as accessories, like an interchangeable handbag or bracelet. It's been just enough time for my eyes to fill with tears again. Ready to flow once more. I hope they stay where they are forever. I hope they never have to wet my face again.
Every day that passes, I'll have more, I know, and I still want more.
Today after work I met up with my boyfriend and some of his friends. I already knew some of them, but only superficially. Let's just say he finally introduced me, even though it was them who managed to get us together with a jokey phone call. I had this feeling of being put on display in front of them. Instead of myself, I could have been a new car. He was proudly showing me off; his first girlfriend. And they were cautiously approaching to examine the car's bodywork. What a strange world men live in! It was funny😹
As soon as they saw I was drinking beer like them, they relaxed and treated me like one of them. Except for my boyfriend, who was almost constantly touching me. Maybe He was worried one of them might try to drive me! Poor guy! 😂❤️😂
My mouth has laughed, been sad, angry, drunk, bumped itself, kissed, sighed, spoken, shouted, been kissed, whispered, eaten, gotten dirty, been painted, mocked, amazed, expressed fear, and also joy, licked ice cream, burned itself, bled, had braces, had them removed, bitten, and simply smiled.
And surely there's something my mouth hasn't done yet. Not yet…
Happy Tuesday morning
What exactly did you mean by taking me somewhere to see the stars? 😉🤷♀️
I showed him this blog, afraid he wouldn't understand it. And today he suggested we go on vacation together. "Choose a place," he said. I didn't hesitate for two seconds. To Taormina, in Sicily, where Richard Burton and Liz Taylor gazed out to sea. Sometimes I like to travel through time. A time machine isn't a sofa with levers in front and a huge fan in the back. It's a book. I'll take one. I want to go by car. Drive up to France and down through Italy in the summer heat. Maybe spend the night in Naples. Or whatever comes up.
The good life starts in the morning
Madrid. Plaza Mayor 😎
My name is Susi. I usually post things on this blog. You might have seen me before. Lately, I've been a bit absentminded. I stare into space and don't listen. I forget my keys. And today I crossed the road without looking.
If you see me like this, remember that my name is Susi, but don't wake me up or worry about me. It's just I'm in love.
When you're eating with other people, what do you pay more attention to? The food or the conversation? 🤔
a little piece of tonight 🫢
I love Madrid
I've barely slept thinking about him. And doubts are flooding my mind. I've never been with an inexperienced, virgin guy. I'm going to be his first, and seeing how hard he was yesterday, that'll happen very soon. Should I guide him then? Or let him experiment on me himself so he can gain confidence? Should I be active or passive these first few times? I'm a sea of doubts.
Okay, I'm home now. I'll tell you about my date with the guy. He's still shy, but less so. We talked about a lot of things: his projects, what I do. A little gossip, but he's very discreet. He took me to one of the best restaurants in Madrid. I don't know how he managed to get the reservation with so little notice. He kept looking at me and told me I looked beautiful, literally that I was a dream. There was one dish I told him I didn't like and asked him to change it, just to see how he'd react. He didn't even hesitate and changed it. I was looking for red flags and couldn't find any, and I was getting nervous.
Then I looked up and saw him sitting there watching me, and I felt a butterfly flutter in my stomach. Afterwards, we went for a walk, and he started getting nervous. One of his hands was trembling a little, and he started telling me he wanted me to be his girlfriend. It was obvious he was making a tremendous effort to overcome his fear, and I let him finish. I thought it best to let him have his way.
I smiled at him, hugged him, and clinging to him, I kissed him and told him I'd love to. Then I captured the moment. We continued walking hand in hand, happy. And then he walked me home.
Awww, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm so excited.
This is a little secret. A personal pleasure. Scented candles, bath salts, and nudity does the rest. It's a relaxing and solitary pleasure. I wish I had a bigger bathtub at home. But I usually take advantage of hotel stays. Everyone has their quirks, haha. This is one of mine. It helps me think and escape into imaginary worlds.
If you ever go to a hotel with me and you see me taking a long time in the bathroom, you'll know what I'm doing hahaha 😎😘🛀
I started doing this during Covid, when we were in lockdown, I mean, I was 16. Out of boredom. The first time, my mom came into the bathroom and saw me, and I said, "Mooooom, get out of here!" She kept looking at me like I was from Mars. And finally, she said, "When you're done, pick everything up and open the window. That lavender makes me dizzy!" Basically, she ruined the magic for me, hahaha.
Hi, I just found out something awful. Yesterday, a friend of mine was attacked last night. She went for a run around 10 pm and near her house, three men assaulted her, knocking her to the ground. It wasn't to steal her phone.
Thank God a man was passing by, saw what happened, yelled at them, and they ran away. She has some scratches, a bruise, and her clothes are torn, but most of all, she's terrified.
I'm going to see if I can talk to her and offer her all my support. But it's awful to be afraid so close to where you live. I'm speechless.