Suspended Ink

It's not about you bleeding, it's about how much you're bleeding. 25

[remanence-of-love]

[suspended-ink]

I'm so afraid of my laughter because I know the tears will follow.

- Sh

[suspended-ink]

She asked if I really thought everyone would be happy if I died. I told her that no, I know the will be sad, what scares me it's that I know, and I don't care anymore.

-Sh

[suspended-ink]

Creí que no podría romperme más aquella noche, en los brazos de mi padre cuando una crisis llegó en plena madrugada de abril. Porque incluso en los brazos de quien se supone es mi protector, solo pude pensar en que tenía que hacer que pasara, porque no eran seguros, que esos mismos brazos me iban a volver a soltar como ya tantas veces en el pasado.

- Sh

[suspended-ink]

Han pegado un sticker fosforescente en mi DNI, lleva el numero de mi historia médica. Sin querer, vi el resumen que me define para los médicos. "indica síntomas de ansiedad y pasado de abuso sexual... " no me atreví a leer más, no era algo que quisiera que fuera mi definición desde ahora, aunque tengo la certeza de que mi depresión ha tomado apunte de ello. Supongo que sólo me queda esperar a por el golpe.

[suspended-ink]

La depresión ha ganado. Pero el mundo continúa y tengo cosas que hacer. Así que en este momento de mediocridad, he ido al cine a ver una película que resultó más mediocre que mi vida. Silver linings, supongo.

[suspended-ink]

Hoy, mientras reía me di cuenta que las risas son contagiosas por que son como ecos. Se expanden con el aire, se amplifican y se van.

Mientras que las lágrimas, son saladas y comparten alma con el mar. Basta con mirarlas para perderte en su profundidad.

Las mías, suelen bordear aquellos barrancos que el hombre aún no puede explorar.

- Sh

[suspended-ink]

My little love;

I've only had you for 8 months. And during those months you gave me more than a thousand smiles, you made me laugh and you made me happy. You were there when I was sick and when I cried. I'm so sorry for not being able to keep you safe, I'm so sorry it took me time to realise you were slipping away. Now while I hold you in my arms, I don't want to cry but it's hard. It's hard to think that you are going to leave me, I wanted you to take you to Europe, to go all over the world. I wanted you to be my partner in crime and my forever company. I knew that I would have you just for a part of my life, but I never imagined I would have you for so little. There's so much love I need to give you, so much love left for you. I was so happy when I got you, I waited 2 months for your arrival and you were such a little gentleman, so perfect, so bright. My heart is so week and cannot take all this love inside so it is breaking now, pouring all over and trying to reach you quickly, fast, because we don't have much time together. I love you, I love you, I love you thousand times and I miss you already. I'm so thankful and so sorry. Again. Mi little love, I miss you already even when I'm holding you now.

[hopedits]

Lockscreens — 🐰🐯🐿

- Like or reblog if you save... and don't repost plis!

[suspended-ink]

It's not like I don't know.

I'm a woman, and a strong one.

It's just tiring to have to pick my pieces over and over again with no one there ready to hold me when I fall.

[suspended-ink]

And I know he was in my heart, and keeps a part of it still. I know it might hurt, but you are the one holding it now. It's yours, fully.

[suspended-ink]

No sé si lo sepas, pero después de nuestra ruptura solía marcar los días que pensaba en ti, no estoy segura de cuando, de la nada, simplemente lo olvidé. Hasta hoy, mientras buscaba una fecha en mi agenda. Aquel punto rojo marca el inicio de tu final en mi vida y me alegra decir que ya no duele tanto, pero que aún estás ahí, de vez en cuando. Así que volví a marcar el día de hoy, con color azul, porque nuestro amor siempre me supo a mar y a olas inconstantes, a espuma efervescente y a un horizonte infinito. Te extraño, de vez en cuando, y cuando lo hago te escribo. Poco a poco, porque tal cual mis letras, aún tienes parte de mi vida.

[nightlyquotes]

“I’m proud of my heart. It’s been played, stabbed, cheated, burned, and broken, but somehow it still works.”

— Unknown

[suspended-ink]

🦋

[thoughtkick]

“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, ‘So what.’ That’s one of my favorite things to say. ‘So what.’”

— Andy Warhol

[suspended-ink]

And I know it's right cause I have always dreamt about a guy with long and caring fingers, with a boy who loves writing songs, and staying up all night with me. And I will never tell you that I spent the only night my body was healthy, my mind empty, and my heart at peace at your place. It is sad to know that it was so ordinary and so much less than any other woman would give you.

Sorry, I guess.

For being me.

[suspended-ink]

Estoy en medio de querer ser una buena esposa que te da sus primeras veces o la chica que llevo dentro y tiene noches sencillas en Francia.

[suspended-ink]

And now, after the clock ticked 11:11

I know, you won't come to my door even though I told you I was crying over you. And you won't stay, not try.

I arrived home after our canceled date, it seems like it's the 15th time this happens now. I throw my heels and get changed, ready to sleep. I see the gift I bought for your birthday, the one I couldn't give you because you were too busy, too worried, to drunk to go out for. It seems like it mocks me, reminding me that you're not here and won't be.

So I just let my tears go off, thinking about the late night rides, the jokes, the kisses and the tender softness of your hands on my waist. Now, the only hands missing when I need to be hold.

But it's fine. I get it. I'm a lot to work with. I have a lot of baggage. But I also know that's me, and that it's okay, it just wasn't you. You just didn't have the capacity to handle my stuff, my feelings.

And again, it's fine.

That's on you.

-Sh