I volunteered at an animal rehab facility, and let me tell you - seagulls are assholes. We had around 7 seagulls all housed in this one room that we called the Room of Requirement, and it was meds time. Which meant some poor volunteer had to take a giant towel, go into the room of requirement, and catch the proper seagull by throwing a towel over it and picking it up without being pecked to death.
Each room has a camera that can loop onto screens in the rehab center lobby so people can see what sorts of animals we’re taking care of. For some reason the TV was set to the room of requirement (apparently the bear cubs were boring to watch at this point at night). This meant that for a solid 20 minutes, every single worker, every other volunteer, was standing in the lobby (directly above the room I was in) watching me attempt to grab this one seagull we named Birdie Sanders while simultaneously being pecked and chased by 6 other giant seagulls.
Did I mention the cameras had audio?
20 minutes. Of me throwing a towel at this bird - missing because Birdie Sanders was a bald and elusive asshole - and swearing profoundly while being shat on by seagulls. At one point I just sat down on the floor covered in bird shit with my head in my hands, begging for this god damn bird to just stand still for 30 seconds. No one came to my rescue. I finally cornered and captured Birdie Sanders.
I heard an eruption of cheering and applause.
I take Birdie Sanders to the med station where he continued to be an asshole. Then repeated this entire process for the next hour with the other 6 seagulls.
When I returned upstairs there was a new poster on the “volunteer tried and true tips” board (where we posted tips to safely catch wild animals in their enclosures - mostly food baiting). A screenshot of me sitting in birdshit, bartering with this fucking bird, simply titled - “When In Doubt, Offer Your Soul”
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