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Cosimo Galluzzi

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Kiana Khansmith

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@suvalentia-blog
SHIT, THEY CALL ME A SPITTING IMAGE OF MY FATHER. HIS SON, THROUGH AND THROUGH. AS A KID, IT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE. BUT IN THIS LIFE, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. YOUR FAMILY, YOUR LAST NAME – THEY DEFINE YOU.
no offense but holy shit guys i love and.y sambe.rg
@mcrningmoon // sc.
❝ are you gonna let me go ? ❞ he’s never been so -- curt with her before. she doesn’t have much of a say in this ( neither does he ), but he has to ask. this decision is gabriel’s, and gabriel’s alone. that doesn’t change how SCARY the whole situation is -- ivan’s never had to be away from the family for more than a few days. this run would take nearly a month. ❝ ‘cause -- ‘cause ‘m gonna go no matter what, mama. i gotta go, y’know ? it’s -- ❞ it’s his way of proving himself, but he won’t tell her that. ❝ it’s not gonna be too bad. promise. ❞
hello……..it seems this is a starter / plotting call….since i am Back.
front porch step “aware” album lyrics meme
“I see the good in all your bad.”
“I can’t begin to count my demons.”
“I’ll find that boy/girl that left you bleeding. Whispered “love” and you believed him/her. I begged and begged for you to leave him/her. I swear I’ll kill ‘em when I see him/her.”
“Me and Mr. Lucifer were both unaware that the soul that I sold him had long belonged to you.”
“The fact that you exist makes me feel like I have a purpose.”
“Why won’t you drop your guard?”
“I hate your cigarettes and the men that you go see, because one is killing you, while the other’s killing me.”
“I hate the way you make me feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
“You will never find a man that is ever gonna love you more.”
“I’d rather fight with you than laugh with another.”
“I’d let you hit me before I’d ever let you hit the floor.”
“I know you’re feeling tired. Just let me hold you for a bit.”
“Dive my face between your thighs until I cannot feel my lips.”
“Well, I know that you think I’m kind of odd.”
“Broke my knuckles on the wall because I thought about the call. Where you said you’d always love me, do you not tell the truth at all?”
“Don’t you dare say you ever loved me or even tell me that you cared.”
“Get the fuck away from me!”
“Johnny Cash said love would burn, I never thought it’d hurt this bad.”
“I see the fear in your eyes.”
“How can something so well put together be so torn apart?”
“I’m staring at the girl/boy I want to love me when I’m old.”
“They say the heart only wants what it can’t have, so I guess your hand in mine will never fit.”
“I thought you came to kiss my lips, but you brought your shovel and your tarp.”
“I know its not my fault but I’m the one that’s getting hurt.”
“I’m so done with feeling numb that I’ve been pissing in the breeze.”
“You ask me where I want to be I’ll show you where you are.”
“I hear the people talk. I just try to block them out.”
“I’m so in love with you, I just thought that you should know.”
“I don’t know what to say because the pain won’t go away.”
“How can angels fly when you’re still on the ground?”
“And now I’ll die alone.”
“I’ve lost all control of this life that I’ve held so dear.”
“I’m just spread across the ground making friends with cement.”
“I tried to make a friend but no one was a friend to me.”
“I asked her what she wanted and she said she wanted more.”
“I start to struggle to hold myself back from thrusting my head straight through the fucking glass.”
“I can’t run away 'cause I’m lazy as fuck.”
“And I won’t say that I’m okay 'cause you taught me not to lie.”
“I miss your arms around me and the way you make me laugh.”
“I’m just really not okay with this.”
hewasgood.
at this point, he’s known ivan long enough to know when something’s wrong. they’re close ( closer than most ), and he hates the thought of the other being upset, no matter the context. crossing his arms, the worry starts to bleed onto his face when ivan won’t look at him in the eye, causing him to start chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully.
the whole interaction is forced – the way ivan smiles, the way his voice seems tight and the undeniable shake in his hand. ❝ i dunno, those wipes seem pretty hard to work with to me. ❞ he jokes, offering a slight shrug as he keeps his eyes on the younger boy. he doesn’t want to say anything, but he also refuses to leave when he’s like this.
he can’t help but laugh at ivan’s words, no matter how harsh they come out. ❝ sure, got PLENTY of places to be, but i’m here right now. ❞ he reaches over, grabbing ivan’s wrist and raising a brow, the ‘what’s wrong’ not actually leaving his lips. ❝ yeah, which makes it an ideal bathroom to smoke in. or, from the looks of it, hide from everyone. ❞
it’s bullshit, the way he’s reacting to the entire situation. ivan’s always prided himself in being stronger than most kids his age, someone who doesn’t particularly lack confidence -- but maybe he’d only started to believe his own bullshit. maybe he was seeing himself now the way people have been seeing him all along. and it’s thoughts like these that get him stuck in his own head.
it’s uncomfortably forced, nearly unbearable on ivan’s end. he keeps shifting his weight between feet, trying to keep himself distracted -- trying to look at anything that isn’t NATHAN. ❝ guess they can be, ❞ clearly, he’s in no mood to be joking around.
he bites the inside of his cheek, harder than originally meant. ❝ y’should probably start to head towards wherever ya need to be, ❞ he replies, fingers curling in the second nathan grabs his wrist. he takes a deep breath, offers nathan another smile. ❝ i ain’t hidin’ from anyone, just -- needed a minute. that’s all. there a problem ? ❞
hewasgood.
brains and laziness rarely ever mix but, even though he excelled in all his classes, nathan found himself incredibly BORED in class, and often found himself napping or skipping to do something more interesting. after the third call from the school, aiden had intervened and told nathan to stop skipping classes, so he found himself requesting to go to the bathroom two, three times a class. it was a good excuse to get up and stretch around and, at this point, his teachers were all too tired to argue with him.
that’s how he ends up in the boys bathroom, fully expecting it to be empty as he pulls out a stolen pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. he doesn’t jump when he sees ivan, only tilts his head slightly when he sees him wiping his face. he’d seen his earlier in the hallway – make up and all – and, from the shake in his hand, he can tell something’s off.
❝ ‘ey, gorgeous. ❞ he greets as he walks over to him, leaning on the sink next to him. ❝ whatcha doin’ ?? need any help ?? ❞ he asks casually, expertly hiding his worries deep down. he won’t ask why he’s taking the make up off, or why he’s shaking, simply offer his help and hope for the best.
this isn’t where he wants to be ( hell, he wants to be HOME ), but it’s better than being out there. he tries to hide any indication that something’s really wrong, brain working quick to come up with some EXCUSE. he glances at nathan, unable to really meet his eye; which is enough to give himself away, he knows.
he shouldn’t feel the need to lie to anyone, ESPECIALLY nathan -- but here he is, offering the older male a brief smile before continuing his work. ❝ hi, ❞ he nearly struggles to keep his voice light, shoulders lifting in a lazy shrug. way to seem nonchalant. ❝ no, i think i’ve got it. ain’t exactly rocket science, y’know ? ❞ but that shake to his hand is so hard to hide, even when he moves his hands through his hair.
❝ don’t y’have somewhere you need to be ? ❞ perhaps it comes out HARSHER than he intended, but he longs to be alone; to sulk in PEACE, really. ❝ it’s just -- i dunno. didn’t expect anyone to come in, i guess. they usually try to avoid this hallway all together. ❞
Raphael casually stealing Magnus’ martini olive
@hewasgood // sc.
it was a STUPID idea from the start -- no matter how many times violet ( and isaiah ) tried, ivan’s confidence wasn’t boosted enough for this. he was excited in the beginning, excited to see just how it may play out -- and he was only four classes into the day before he found himself hiding in the bathroom. he wouldn’t call it HIDING, per say, but anyone else would.
it’s the staring he has a problem with -- as much as he likes attention, THAT wasn’t the kind he was seeking out. he’s never been judged for being gay in particular, but this might be the thing that does him in. hell, ivan doesn’t even want to look in the mirror as he wipes the make up from his face. he makes a mental note to thank his mother for tossing some wipes into his bag before leaving.
ivan jumps when the bathroom door opens, shoulders tensing almost instantly. but there’s a sound of familiar footsteps and, despite the fact he hasn’t looked up, he knows exactly who it is. ❝ what ? ❞ his voice remains soft, hands shaking ever so slightly now as wipes his face.
hello........it seems this is a starter / plotting call....since i am Back.
I’m not a person that smokes pot. I’ve tried it and stuff but I get very paranoid. I think, once I start having a job, it made me very paranoid.
i’m stronger than this. i have to be stronger than this. there is no room for weakness, not here, not anywhere.
Nicola Yoon, Everything, Everything