I just want to rant about the awesomeness of Beta Readers.
I am lucky to have found incredible humans in all of my fandoms who help me be better, be a better writer and a better person by absorbing my hyperfocus and allowing me to be normalish at others.
I posted a fic last night that was unbetad because it was a silly thing and I wanted to get it out quick, and I -missed- the part where my doc was dotted with suggestions and little notes and I had to go to a group to find the word for 'having your limbs pulled off' and immediately I got a joke from another human that is probably the best thing in the fic.
And since I have been sick the first thing that fell down is being able to beta, because the balance of it, not the grammar and spell check, the bit where you have to say, "is that what you meant" or "is this pacing what you are aiming for" is genuinely difficult, the last thing I want to do is squash someone.
So yeah, shout out to the beta-readers who make everything better.
@jonesfandomfanatic and all the others who save me.
Another routine day in our beloved Storybrooke. Emma and Killian are ready to patrol the town and to take on any other new villans that may come before them.
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Tumblr reminds me that I've been part of this social network for 12 years now, so I decided to celebrate it by posting my latest CS manip with photoshop. I've been trying to find out how some functions and some layers work ... but always self-taught, so it's not perfect. I don’t use watermarks, but please do not repost, just reblog or like.
I know, I know, I should focus on my WIP... but my muse lately is not on my side and life sucks a little, so finding the time and concentration to write is not easy. But I am still here (mostly lurking in the twists and turns of the fandom), and it amazes me how every now and then I still get messages of likes or reblogs of my Once Upon A Movie posts... (I mean, it’s been years since the last one!) but you guys are wonderful people... I never expected to get so much support in any of my posts.
And so I felt like practising again with photoshop (which I had completely abandoned) and here is the result... enjoy it!
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I would like to dedicate the Shining Through poster to @kmomof4 because she is such a lovely person, and a pillar of this fandom, and also because I really liked her In The Viper’s Den fic based on this movie. I probably shoud have commented on her story, or simply told her how much I liked it, my shame, but I hope this little gift could compensate for it.
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And I would like to dedicete the The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society poster to @batana54 and her beautiful story with the same title. I loved the movie very much, and I loved the fanfic as well!!
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And here’s the link to my old Once Upon A Movie in case you’re interested in them.
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
A/N: After this chapter there will be a pause, because summer is pressing and I will not even have time to breathe, let alone write. But I have no intention of abandoning this story. I promise, I’ll be back again in September with a new chapter. Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta reader I could ever ask for and a wonderful human being. And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 8
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Hearts are not to be had as a gift,
hearts are to be earned.
(W. B. Yeats)
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Emma entered the main cabin of the Jolly Roger with her hands in the back pockets of her trousers and started to pace the room. Killian was checking that everything was ready for take-off, but as soon as he realized how restless she seemed, he stopped and started to observe her. She was fidgeting.
The last days had been a rollercoaster, physically and emotionally. With the preparations for the return trip, time to sit down and have a rest had been almost impossible to find.
Convincing David and Mary Margaret to join them on the way back to Althea-Seals had been relatively easy. At first, they had been a bit worried about leaving the people with whom they’d spent the last twenty years, but they had soon become eager to start over somewhere else, even planning what their future house should look like.
The connection they had started to bond with Emma had grown bigger every day, often helping each other and sharing a few confidences. Especially Mary Margaret, she had seemed genuinely interested to get to know the other woman and become friends.
But Emma had been cautious, to say the least. The two of them had spent a lot of time together packing their most important belongings, but Killian had been able to notice each and every time the walls around Emma had grown taller and stronger. She had always behaved correctly and politely, but whenever the opportunity had arisen for Mary Margaret to get emotionally close, Emma had walked away with an excuse.
David on the other hand had always been overprotective, but this behavior had not been reserved only to Emma.
Trying not to be smashed up by some flying rocks while doing recon outside to detect the best moment to leave the planet hadn’t been easy. Killian had volunteered, but David had been the one risking the most during their rounds outside, with the excuse that they could have not aggravated Killian’s still fragile physical state, and that the Captain was the only one able to fly the spaceship back home safely. They could not put his life in danger.
Emma had refused to allow Henry to help, especially with outside reconnaissance, even if the boy had insisted over and over. So Killian had decided that the best way to keep Henry occupied had been fixing up the spaceship.
They had spent a lot of time together and Killian had taught the lad many ins and outs of being a captain and flying in outer space.
With all of that, the man hadn’t found many occasions to talk alone with Emma, but he had sensed that her heart was uneasy, and he would have liked to help her somehow.
That was why as soon as he saw her in his cabin, he decided to approach her with caution, but also with determination, to understand what had been troubling her all those past days. “What is it, love?”
Emma didn’t know if she should smack him or kiss him, with his ever-present infuriating way of understanding her needs.
“They are settling in their cabin.” It seemed superfluous to clarify who she was talking about. But just the fact that she avoided even labeling them was a clear symptom of insecurity.
“It’s going to be ok. We all have to adjust to this new circumstance, but I’m positive you are going to get along very well with your parents.”
“If they are my parents.” She pointed out.
“You’ll figure it out.”
She heaved a sigh. “Thank you, for letting them come with us.”
Killian dismissed it with a wave of his hand, “It’s no problem.”
She shook her head. “It is. This is your ship. Your job. Your life. I feel like I broke into your routine like a bull in a china shop, disrupting your schemes, invading your every space, and even putting your life at risk.”
“If I remember correctly, it was my idea to give them a ride.” Killian ached at the sight of her discomfort, he didn’t want to be another burden in her already complicated life. “And as you can see,” he added, “I’m pretty much alive.” He winked, swaying into her space. “Or do you need a more tangible demonstration?” He asked in a deeper voice.
She rolled her eyes at his attempt to flirt. But she understood it was just a technique he used to divert her attention from the subject, and she mentally thanked him again.
“Speaking of your wellbeing, maybe it’s best if we apply some more of that ointment to your bruises. With all the preparations for the trip, we forgot to tend to your needs.” She said the last part imitating his accent.
He smiled. “I didn’t know you were so eager to touch me!” He mocked her.
She rolled her eyes, again. But it didn't escape him that she couldn't suppress a smile.
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~·~·~·~
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Mary Margaret was carrying a heavy box into her cabin when she saw Henry heading to his. “Hi, do you have a minute?” She asked gently.
“Sure.” The boy thought the newcomers might necessitate help. “Do you need a hand to familiarize yourself with the spaceship? I may know a thing or two.” He proudly declared.
Mary Margaret smiled. “This is very kind of you, and if I have any questions I’ll definitely ask you.” She made a pause, she seemed to consider something, but then she added “I would like to give you something.”
The woman deposited the box she was carrying on a shelf and pulled out a big leather-covered volume.
“What is it?” Henry asked curiously.
“It’s a book.”
“You mean a real book, with pages and all?” The boy was clearly amazed. Books like that one weren't easy to find, everything you could read was digital.
“Yes. It’s ancient and valuable.” Mary Margaret passed it to him reverently. “You have to take care of it.”
Henry took it and started to leaf through. It was full of stories and colorful pictures that pulled at his imagination. But he didn’t quite understand the reasons for this gift. “Then why give it to me?” He asked.
“Because I think you’ll make good use of it.” She explained. “During the last few days, I have seen how much you like to read. Maybe you will find these stories entertaining. And I wanted to thank you and your family for your hospitality on this ship and the opportunity you gave us for this journey to another land.”
Henry thought that at some point he should have revealed the truth that he wasn’t Killian’s son, that this spaceship was as his as Mary Margaret’s, and that the only person responsible for a safe trip back to Althea-Seals was definitely not him. But he was so enthralled by the book in his hands that he decided that maintaining the ruse for a few more days wasn’t such a bad idea.
“This is so cool! Thank you!” He grinned.
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Emma took the bottle from Killian’s satchel, while he was unbuttoning his vest first, and then his shirt. She put some balm in the palm of her hand and set the bottle down the nearest counter.
They had done this a few times by now, but it still affected her. The idea that he could have died because of her, because she asked him to change the route for her needs, because he had jumped in front of a huge rock to save her son. It was all her fault. And she couldn’t avoid thinking about all this, while she was softly applying the ointment.
Killian put one finger under her chin until she looked at his eyes. “I’m fine.”
She stopped her movements, her hand still on his chest. She wanted to shout at him. How? How can you read me so well? How can you sense every time I’m feeling shaken? But the only words that came out of her mouth were: “Thank you.”
“It seems to be the sentence of the day.”
She shook her head. “For saving my son.”
“We’ve already talked about it...” She stopped him by putting one finger on his lips with her free hand.
“Thank you.” She insisted. “For always being by my side, even when I’m being stubborn or reckless. Thank you. For not pushing me and respecting my pace.”
He was speechless, his mind a whirlwind of emotions, was she actually saying…? But he couldn’t finish his thought. Her lips on his were soft and tentative. Nothing like the first kiss they had shared. As much as the other one had been passionate and sexy, this was gentle and affectionate, and Killian was relishing every single bit she was ready to give to him.
“So much for a one-time thing.” He murmured when they separated to recover some air, his eyebrows doing a funny dance. He didn’t want to show how much the kiss had shaken him, even though he was sure she could feel his racing heart.
She was affected as well, but she didn’t play along. Instead she kissed him again. Probably the best way to shut him up.
Emma lifted her arm, intertwining her fingers with the hair at the back of his head, while her other hand, still on his chest, started trailing down his abdomen until anchoring on his belt. Killian hugged her, slowly caressing her back up and down with his bionic hand, and resting his right in her hair. He moved her as close as possible, zeroing every inch of air between their bodies. Then he gently tilted her head, brushing her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, asking permission to deepen the kiss, and when she granted him access, he savored her mouth as if it was the most exquisite exotic fruit he’d ever tasted.
“Mom! Look what Mary…” Henry froze at the entrance, stunned at the scene in front of him.
The two adults hurried to part from each other, both with flushed cheeks, and Killian still with his shirt wide open.
Henry looked at them, wrinkled his nose in disgust and then he went back to where he had come from.
Emma turned to Killian without knowing what to do. She wanted to reassure her son, but she didn’t want to leave the man she had just kissed without a word. As ever, he understood her inner turmoil and nodded, letting her know that it was ok with him if she chose her son first. She released a sigh of relief and smiled at him before running after Henry.
She found the boy in their cabin sitting on his bed, staring at his feet.
Emma entered and sat next to him, but didn’t say anything, giving him all the space and time he would need.
“You like him.” He stated after a while. “I understand.”
Emma wasn’t certain about what her son did understand. “Are you sure you're ok with this?”
“No.” He answered honestly. “But I want you to be happy.” He gifted her with one of his big grins.
“You’re such a smart boy, and I’m so lucky to be your mom.” She smiled at him as well and opened her arms to envelop him, but Henry didn’t move closer.
“Just… not now.” He seemed uncomfortable. “I mean… only a few seconds ago you and him were all hands, and lips, and... everything! I think I need a moment before I can hug you again.”
Emma nodded, understanding his mood. “Seems fair.”
“And seriously, for future references, close that door.” Henry reprimanded.
“Definitely.” She said solemnly.
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On her way back to the main cabin, Emma bumped into a very busy Mary Margaret who told her that they had just finished loading all their belongings, and Emma kindly offered to inform the Captain they were ready for take-off.
When she approached him near the console, he was already pushing buttons and moving levers.
“Mary Margaret says they are ready.” She stated, flopping down on the seat next to him.
“Do you think he's ok?” Killian asked, but didn’t look at her, still concentrated on his task.
“Who?” Emma needed a few seconds to understand his path of thoughts. “Henry? Oh. He's a tough guy.” She reassured him.
“Aye, I suppose he is. But I mean…” But he didn’t finish his sentence.
At his hesitation she finally figured out what his concern was. “Come on Killian, just yesterday Henry couldn’t stop blathering about how cool it was working with you on this ship, how many things you taught him, how he would like to have a ship of his own to fly as you do.” But Emma could still sense the stiffness in his movements, the doubts crowding his mind. “He adores you.” She added.
Killian finally turned his head to stare at her with one arched eyebrow “Right now? I doubt it.” He stood up from his armchair and sighed, then added “I’m going to shut the back gate.” And with that he disappeared downstairs.
Emma thought that she had to let him see that Henry was fine and Killian needed not to worry. She was about to stand up as well when she heard a voice.
Emma, can we talk? The LED light was blinking.
Noticing a scolding in the tone and not knowing how to behave with someone that was not entirely a human being, she automatically got on the defensive “Is this like a protective big brother talk where you want to make sure I'm good enough for Killian?” She sighed.
No, because I already know you're not good enough.
“What?” Emma was shocked. How can he ...it, whatever, dare? She thought.
I had a chat with Killian while he was repairing the ship. The mechanical voice said. My brother is risking his life for you. What are you doing for him?
She crossed her arms and defiantly raised her chin, even though she had no idea if he could see her. “Were you this self-righteous when you were alive?”
When it comes to my brother, yes.
“I beg your pardon, but you don't know anything about me.” Emma was sure that Killian’s brother, or whatever it was, had no rights to judge her behavior, but still, a little sense of inadequacy broke through her armor.
No. But I know Killian. Finish your business, whatever it is, and then go back to wherever you come from and let my brother live his life in peace.
“Whatever Killian and I become, it's up to him as much as me.” She stood up heading to the door, just as Killian came back. She didn’t look up at him and went on marching towards her cabin.
Killian stopped her gently, grabbing her elbow. “Everything alright, love? You seem vexed.”
“It has been a long day, I think I’m going to rest.” And she left.
What was that? Killian thought. Then he reached for the controls just in time to see how the red LED went off. He shook his head and promised himself to have a chat with his brother as soon as they were far away from this damn planet.
Taking off from Vernal-Den was not as difficult as to land on it. Probably the defensive protection worked better when someone was trying to enter the planet than when leaving it. Killian had to avoid a few flying rocks, but nothing he wasn’t able to handle easily.
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The day after was ...bizarre. In the beginning, it was not easy to adapt to living together in a small environment, where everyone had to take turns both for the bathroom and for sitting down to eat.
The fact that Emma was trying to avoid circumstances that were too personal with David and Mary Margaret or too intimate with Killian, made her stay constantly on the alert and jump at every opportunity.
Henry, on the other hand, not wanting to find himself in an awkward situation again, whenever he realized he was in the same room with Emma and Killian, would take refuge in reading and isolate himself with earphones.
The married couple behaved in the most normal way, they helped with chores, but also tried not to be in the way and spent most of their time in their room.
And Killian, well... he spent the day navigating as smoothly as he could both the outer space as the one inside his ship, while internally he couldn't wait to get home, to recover some normalcy and finally find some time to spend with Emma, hopefully without many people around.
After dinner, David and Mary Margaret wished good night to the rest of them, and Henry, despite not being able to stop yawning, decided to take out his latest gift and started leafing through the pages.
Real old pages with printed text, Emma noted. “What is that you have in your hands?” She asked.
“It's an ancient book.” He replied without even sparing a glance for his mother. But when he felt that maybe she needed more explanations, he added “Mary Margaret gave it to me.”
“Oh.” Emma was surprised. She remembered paper books in the royal library of New-Tolemac, but she never thought her son would see one. “What is it about?” She was intrigued.
“Fairy tales.” Was his short reply.
“You mean princes and princesses?”
Henry seemed to ponder. “Heroes and villains I would say.” And then he yawned again.
Her mother insisted that he went to sleep. He reluctantly stood up and, closing the book, he declared “I’m going to show it to Roland first thing back in Althea-Seals”.
After spending weeks in Vernal-Den, unable to check the correct flow of hours, Emma was starting to have some trouble figuring out what time of day it was. But she was sure that her son had been up much longer than usual. She knew she should go to rest as well, she was feeling exhausted, but she wanted to spare a few minutes for the man now sitting at the helm. So she dragged herself to the chair next to his one, plopping on it.
“Everything all right?” Killian asked nonchalantly but trying to understand what was brewing into that beautiful head of hers.
“Yeah.” She sighed probably louder than she wanted. “I just need a minute to appreciate this breathtaking landscape one more time. Who knows when I’ll be back in outer space again.”
“You are always welcome on my ship.”
She smiled. A genuine but at the same time tired smile.
“Look, my brother could be a bit of an arse sometimes, but you don’t have to worry about him.” He said, thinking that her discomfort could come from her previous chat with Liam.
“What?” She seemed disoriented at first, but then she understood what he was talking about. “Oh. I can handle him.”
“Then, what is it?”
They spent a few minutes in silence. Then Emma started to speak again. “Henry is eager to get back to Althea-Seals. I mean, all of us are. But... I think he misses Roland.”
“Well, he has got quite a few tales to tell to his friend.”
Emma nodded. “I’m glad the boys met each other.” She made a pause, but after just a few moments she went on. “You know, Henry is not exactly the most popular kid at school. He has his friends, but... Not that he complains, but I don’t think he would ever complain about it with me, he doesn’t want me to worry. But maybe I should have been there for him more often; with my job I don’t have so much time to spend with him, and…”
She was babbling and Killian didn’t know if it was because of tiredness or because she needed to release some of the tension she had been feeling throughout the day, but he knew for sure he wasn’t liking where she was going, so he put a hand on hers interrupting her “Shush. You’re a great mother to the lad.”
“Yeah. like you can say anything different in front of me, right?” She rolled her eyes, but he also noticed how her shoulders relaxed a bit.
“Of course I can, I’m the Captain, I can say whatever I want aboard my ship.”
She laughed, and he decided that he wanted to hear this sound every single day of his life.
“Hey, look at me. Have I told you a lie? I know I can speak on behalf of Robin and Roland, and we are glad you’ve come to be a part of our lives. Both of you.”
The intensity of her gaze made him shiver, and he wanted to kiss her fervently and show her just how glad he was that she was part of his life, but he also didn’t want to create another embarrassing moment, lest someone unexpectedly entered the cabin. So he just smiled and added “You should go and rest as well, love. Soon we’ll be home.”
Home… Emma thought. She never considered her cramped apartment in the west suburb of II as home, just a safe spot where she could protect Henry. But lately, sharing a place with Killian, in his house on Althea-Seals, on the Jolly Roger, or even underground on a hostile planet, it had started to feel like home. She stood up, and before going away she bent to deposit a soft kiss on his cheek. “Good night Killian.”
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta reader I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 7
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Everything exists,
everything is true
and the earth is just
a bit of dust beneath our feet.
(W. B. Yeats)
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“Help yourself.” David had accompanied Killian to some sort of warehouse with various spare parts of spaceships piled up here and there on shelves. “Sorry, I don't understand much about mechanics.” He apologized.
Killian looked around him, some pieces appeared to be useful, others looked like half-broken remains from which perhaps a couple of bolts could be extracted but nothing more. “It seems more boneyard than storage.”
“Yeah, well, not everybody who landed here was lucky enough to tell the tale..” David sighed.
A look of understanding passed between them. Killian nodded and started to rummage through the pieces. They had just checked the Jolly Roger to assess the damages, passing through a hidden corridor that led directly to the hangar without having to go out into the open. If I had known this passage existed, I would have probably been spared my hospital stay, Killian had thought.
“What is like to grow up on this planet?” He asked nonchalantly, still trying to decipher the man next to him.
“Nobody is from Vernal-Den.”
Killian looked at him suspiciously “Then, how did you land here?”
“Probably, same as you did. We had entered the gravitational field without even realizing it. Sadly, we were less fortunate than you, our spaceship was destroyed. It’s a miracle we survived. And in no time we were trapped here.”
“And you built an underground city.” There was astonishment in his voice.
“It’s not that big, and the tunnels were already part of this planet, we just repurposed them for our convenience.”
“How many of you live here?”
David appeared lost in a faraway thought. “There were more than twenty of us in the original group. Some had already gone away, joining a fleeing ship. Some… well, let’s just say they had tried an escape route that did not turn out to be the best choice. There’s just a few of us left now.”
“Why didn’t you leave?” Killian was curious to know what kept the other man tied to this lost land.
“I contemplated the possibility a couple of times. But at the beginning it was chaos, people needed a leader. Someone who took responsibility for organizing things down here.”
“You?”
“I was their leader on our home planet.” David answered, and Killian studied the man in front of him, his stance, the way he always looked straight into the eyes of his interlocutor. He exuded confidence and Killian had no trouble imagining him as a charismatic manager or even a king. But when he was about to ask, the other man went on. “When things started to run by themselves, I considered going somewhere else, but well, you can imagine, we don’t receive many visitors.”
“So if the opportunity arises to leave now, you will take it on the fly?”
“I don't know,” David shook his head, “but I would certainly think about it.”
Killian spent some time choosing pieces from the shelves. When he felt satisfied with his choices, he said “I think I have everything I need.”
David nodded and they made their way back to the ship. Killian was eager to get started on the repairs, the other man said he had some tasks to do and would be back to pick him up in a few hours, so Killian found himself alone in the hangar. But that was no problem, he loved devoting sweat and tears to his ship, and fixing it was for him like healing the wounds of a close friend.
Time flew by when he was with his lady, and when David returned, Killian was covered in grease and oil stains. “I’ve just talked to Mary Margaret”, the blonde man stated, “dinner should be ready soon, we better go home.”
A few corridors and passages down, David stopped in front of a double door. He seemed to ponder something, but in the end, he said “Let me show you something.”
Behind that door there was one of the most amazing things Killian had ever seen. A greenhouse. The man remembered when Henry mentioned it. Now he understood why the boy was so enthusiastic about it.
The place was enormous. Plants and trees of all kinds and species grew in full bloom under an artificial source of bright light and the temperature in the room was slightly wet but pleasant. Scents of different flowers filled the air and Killian recognized some fruits that he had only seen in pictures. He was staring with awe. “Well, this is…”
“Outstanding? Extraordinary?” David finished his sentence. “Yeah. Exactly my thoughts when I found it.”
“What do you mean, found it? Was it already here when you arrived?”
David nodded.
“But how could it be? You said that nobody was living here when you landed. Who is in charge of this place?”
“The place runs all by itself.” Under the astonished look of the other man, David added “Many things are strange on this planet, and I don’t have all the answers.” He shook his head. “I wish I had.”
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Back home Killian took a quick shower to get rid of all the grease of the engine and when he was redressing with clean clothes, Emma approached him and started to help him with the ointment and fresh bandages for his bruises. They were alone in the upper part of the loft. She was chewing her bottom lip, maybe because she was concentrating on the task, or so he thought, and that’s why he was surprised when she abruptly said “We need to talk.”
He arched a brow. “I’ve found that when a woman says that, I'm rarely in for a pleasant conversation.”
She rolled her eyes. “I want you to know what Sidney Glass told me about New-Tolemac.”
Emma had just finished fixing the last of the gauze, and Killian put a hand on hers stopping her movements. She lifted her gaze, staring into his eyes perplexedly. He nodded, trying to silently tell her that she could trust him with whatever she wanted to reveal.
But the closeness, her hand on his chest, the way she was looking at him, it was too much to bear for Killian. Intense and maybe inappropriate thoughts were forming in his head, and he needed to pay attention to what she was about to say. He took a step back and started to put on a shirt.
Emma sat down at the end of the bed. She was fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable and worried. “The King and Queen of New-Tolemac have joined forces with the Industry.” She blurted.
“Well, that’s a powerful partnership, indeed.” Killian conceded.
“But why? For years they have built and perfected a plan to defeat the Industry, they have been preparing for war. Now they want to be their ally. I don’t understand.” Emma shook her head.
“People often change sides according to their benefits.”
“Yeah. Mr. Glass said they have a common goal. But he didn’t know what that was. Or he didn’t want to reveal it to me.” Emma had been staring at her feet so far. But she frowned and raised her gaze to find his. “I don’t know what to think.”
Killian sat down next to her and covered her hand with his. “What is exactly troubling you?”
“If New-Tolemac doesn’t fear a possible attack of the Industry, maybe they won’t be needing Henry as their heir anymore. So I should be relieved. But if they still need Henry for their future business, they are more powerful now, and finding my son wouldn’t be much of a problem for them.” She shivered. “I’m terrified.” She admitted.
Killian looked sympathetically at her, then he opened his arms and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “We will protect Henry. Nothing bad will happen to the boy.” He tried to reassure her, and she mentally thanked him for his choice to use the word we.
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When Emma and Killian went downstairs Henry was immersed in a story. Mary Margaret was putting some things in place on her shelves, which in Killian’s opinion was not at all necessary, as they already seemed in order; he noticed that the boy glanced confused towards the brunette woman but didn't give it too much weight.
David was in the kitchen, browning some vegetables. "You absolutely have to try these," he told his audience, "they don't have all the intense flavor they had on our planet, but, given that they are from a greenhouse, they are not bad at all."
“What was your home planet?” Killian inquired.
“One of the NTH-Confederates.” It was Mary Margaret who answered.
“No way!” Henry had stopped giving attention to his tablet.
“Yes, why? Do you know them?” Was David’s question, while his wife simultaneously asked: "Have you been there?"
“Everybody in the multiverse knows them.” Killian stated. “I traveled a lot, but I never went that far away. Those planets are surrounded by legends and myths.”
“Well, it’s a very tangible and existing myth.” The brunette said with a nostalgic look in her eyes.
“It’s so cool! It has to be a wondrous place.” Henry was as enthusiastic as usual.
“Yeah. Well… I’d like it to be as cool as it used to be.” There was a hint of sadness in David’s voice. Then he shook his head as if he didn't want to indulge in melancholic thoughts. “But, they still have the best fillglow team of the multiverse!”
“What are you talking about?” Killian rhetorically asked.
“Why, The Buttercups, of course!”
“No, no, no.” Killian accentuated it by swinging one finger. “I mean, they are some fine fellows, I won’t argue with that. But The Black Clippers? That’s a team as it ought to be!”
“Oh, come on! The Buttercups have won four major leagues. What did your team win?”
“It’s easy to have the most requested players on the market when you are loaded. My boys, they cut their teeth on the field, they fought to reach where they are. They were not a guaranteed winning team, and look at them now, top end of the MFC table this year. Plus, they play fair.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” David was staring back at the other man, chin raised, one hand on his hip. He might even have looked threatening, were it not for the fact that in his other hand he was brandishing a wooden spoon and wearing an apron that read "the most charming chef in the world".
“Easy guys.” His wife tried to make peace. “Dinner is almost ready, would you like to help set the table?”
They all ate quietly, the boys still talking about sports, but with Mary Margaret's gentle interjection now and then, and some glances at her husband, they didn’t argue much. Emma, instead, was delighted, looking at Killian talking about his favorite team as if he was defending his honor.
When they finished eating, the brunette stood up and said to her husband “David, you should go and do your patrol, while I check at the hospital if they need anything.” Something that Killian had already listened to the previous day, as well just after dinner.
Henry looked at the woman frowning. “Why do you always repeat the same actions, day after day?” He was perplexed.
Killian hummed as if he had the clues to the boy’s puzzle “This is a stuck-track planet, my lad.” he explained to a confused Henry. “I’ve been on some of them when I was young.”
“You say it as if you were an old fellow.” Emma snorted. “What are you, a million years old?”
“It’s more like two hundred.” Was his reply.
And to her surprise, she didn’t detect any hint of a lie. “Are you kidding me?”
Killian was about to reply, but Henry interrupted their banter “What’s a stuck-track planet?”
“It means that time runs differently here.” The man explained. “The days or even weeks we spend on this planet are probably just a couple of minutes back home.”
The boy seemed fascinated by the idea. “Wow! Now I understand why my watch gives almost the same hour, it's not broken, it just moves really slow!”
“Exactly. And it affects people, too.” Killian went on. “They don’t age, or at least not in the way you do on Althea-Seals.” Then he drew near Emma, whispering so that only she could hear him “Stuck-track planets may have given me experience, but as you can see I’ve retained my youthful glow.” He winked at her, who just rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile.
“This is why the days all look the same here.” Henry deduced, who was giving further thought to the subject.
“This is why we follow routines so strictly.” Mary Margaret chimed in. “It helps count the passing of time.”
“Does that mean that you and David aren’t the age you appear, either?” Emma questioned.
The other woman thought about it. “Add twenty years, give or take. But it’s hard to say exactly.”
The married couple excused themselves while heading out of the loft to carry out their duties. Killian and Emma started to put away the remains of the dinner. Henry was probably still eager to know as much as possible about this strange planet and its slow time, but when he stood up with his dirt plate in his hands he couldn’t suppress a yawn. His mother insisted on him going to bed.
~·~·~·~
“Where do those flying rocks around the planet come from?” Killian asked David after he had come back from his patrol.
Henry was already sleeping upstairs, and the three of them were sitting around the table.
“Ahm, it’s not so easy to explain.” The blond man answered.
“Give it a try.” Killian wanted to understand how Vernal-Den worked.
David shook his head. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, more than I don’t actually know about it.” He made a pause trying to find better words to explain his point of view. “I would say it’s remotely directed.”
“From where?” Emma asked curiously.
“We don’t know.” This time was Mary Margaret’s turn to answer, who had just entered the loft, back from the hospital, and joined the other adults at the table.
“But I assure you, there’s none else on this planet, apart from the people we know about. And I trust all of them.” David had the urge to defend his friends.
“A couple of people we knew had tried to go outside to search for other forms of life, enemies, whatever... to understand who or what supervises this planet’s activities.” Mary Margaret sighed. “Let’s just say it didn’t end well.”
“But there should be someone else on this planet, defending it.” Killian didn’t comprehend.
“There’s nobody else living here, apart from the people we already know.”
“How can you be so sure?” Emma asked.
“Nobody else uses the greenhouse and its products.” David explained. “Nobody else wastes the energy generated by the planet. It’s just us.”
“But it’s clear that someone really wants to protect this planet from intruders, therefore the rocks. For what purpose?” Killian’s attempt to solve this puzzle only created more questions and doubts.
“Well, the greenhouse could supply oxygen and food for an entire population. I think that someone is interested in keeping this planet as a possible lifeline.”
“A lifeline.” The dark man wondered about it. “Who’s behind this?”
“My theory is just as good as yours.” The blond man shook his head again.
“But you do have a theory.”
“Who’s playing with planets as pawns for his own benefits?” David grimaced.
“You think the Industry is behind this?” Emma almost whispered, as if she was worried that the Industry itself could hear her. She shivered, and Killian put his hand on hers resting on her knee under the table. He was willing to tell her that everything was going to be ok, but he didn’t want to generate indiscreet questions from his hosts.
David shrugged. “Any other ideas?”
“I don’t know. We haven't lived here for a long time. You tell me.” Killian teased.
David looked straight at his guests. “We did some research, with the limited resources we have here, but I assure you it’s nothing we had seen before. What generates all the power needed to maintain the greenhouse and the system that propels the rocks outside the atmosphere … it’s not material, if you understand what I mean.”
Killian passed his bionic hand over his stubble thoughtfully. “Not material.” He repeated. “Antiparticles? But that’s preposterous! A fantasy! You can’t create energy from nothing.”
“Yeah. You would say so. But there’s no other explanation. It’s a power so strong that can create an entirely new world…” David made a pause, and then: “or destroy one.”
“Antiparticles,” Killian repeated, while all his theories were starting to fit in. “So that’s how that vile crocodile annihilates the planets he doesn't need anymore.”
The blond man nodded. “After looting everything the planet has to offer, the Industry injects some of those antiparticles underground. And they disintegrate every last molecular bond and electric impulse until the planet itself implodes.”
“Is that what happened to your planet?” Emma asked Killian even if she didn’t need an actual answer, and then she turned to the couple “Yours as well?”
“We’re not sure about that,” David answered. “From the sources we have, it appears that the NTH-Confederates planets are still alive and kicking, all of them. I think Mr. Gold has other intentions, some obscure interest in them. But I don’t know what it is.”
“Do you miss it? Your home.” Emma inquired. She didn’t miss hers. Life on New-Tolemac when she was a child had not been that bad, she couldn’t complain. But the lack of freedom and the memories of the last events there had left a sour taste and no desire of going back ever.
“Yes. We do.” There was sadness in David’s voice. “Most of the time. But we know that returning there doesn’t necessarily mean that we could go back to our lives. Many things have changed. And I’m not sure I’d like to see how our planet has become.”
“We had to make some difficult decisions before leaving our home. But it was for the best of all.” Mary Margaret sobbed. “It was a long time ago, but it still hurts like the first day.” David put his hand on hers, smiling faintly, trying to give her courage.
“What happened? If it’s not too much to ask.” Killian softly asked.
“We were under attack,” David explained. “We tried to defend ourselves, but the Industry’s power is difficult to overcome. We realized that the only way for us to survive was to abandon our land…”
Mary Margaret stepped in, “We believed that it was the end, that we wouldn’t be able to escape alive.” She sighed loudly “I had just had a baby, and we knew that taking her with us was too risky, it would have been her death sentence.”
“So we contacted a woman who promised us that our daughter would be taken care of, she knew that the King and Queen of a faraway planet were searching for an heir.” David went on telling the story, but his voice wasn’t as steady as he tried to make it. He was still affected by the sad memory as well as his wife. “We wrapped her in a white blanket with a purple ribbon and we gave her the best chance to be the princess she could have never been with us.”
“So you decided to sell her!” Emma shouted.
“What?” - “No!” David and Mary Margaret reacted simultaneously, shaking their heads in bewilderment.
“We never said anything about money.” David pointed out.
“We could have never done anything like that to our child.” Mary Margaret seemed shocked by her guest’s assumption and even a bit outraged.
Emma looked at them with an open mouth, but no sound came out. Then she abruptly stood up and rushed out of the house.
The married couple exchanged a questioning look. “Did I say something wrong?” Mary Margaret asked worriedly.
Killian shook his head. “I should apologize for her behavior. This is a sensitive matter for her. If you would excuse me.” He said standing up and heading to the door.
~·~·~·~
“Are you alright, love?” Killian found Emma sitting on the corridor floor, with her arms around her legs and her face buried in her knees.
He waited for a reply, but it didn’t come. So he sat down next to her. She was crying, her back shuddering.
“Swan…” he tried, but then... “Emma, talk to me.”
She raised her face to look straight at him. Tears rolling down her cheeks. “I have a white blanket with a purple ribbon from when I was a baby! I always had it!” And there was pain in her eyes, but also anger.
It was his time to keep silent. He didn’t know how to react to this new piece of information.
“It’s them!” She exclaimed between sobs. “Those people inside the house are my parents! How am I supposed to look at their faces?”
An immeasurable feeling of protection spread within Killian, but he had to swallow his urge to hug her as if their lives depended on it, because it wasn’t the right time. She was struggling against enough demons, he could not burden her with further emotional matters. “Well, love, if it were me finally finding my parents, I would be very pleased to spend as much time as possible with them, to get the chance to know them and understand who they really are.”
“They sold me! They didn’t want me!” Emma looked at him as if he were an alien. How he could not understand her point of view was beyond her comprehension.
But Killian did understand her, given that he had been sold as a child as well, he knew the feeling, he just didn’t think this was the same case he had lived through. “That’s not what they said in there. They were trying to protect their baby, to give her her best chance to live a life they couldn’t afford for her. And they didn’t seem happy about that decision. I saw regret and what-ifs in their eyes.”
He knew she too noticed the pain in David and Mary Margaret's strangled voices, but he also knew she wasn't ready to admit it. “They are lying.” She hissed.
“Are you sure about that? Henry once told me you have this superpower, that you can detect a lie when you hear it. I had the impression they were being honest while telling their story.”
“But I saw the contract!” She was grasping at straws.
Killian had to take her to a more practical level, something tangible that she could hold on to if she wanted to. “Aye, you saw it. And who exactly signed it?”
“I…” Emma tried to recall a ten-year-old memory, but it wasn’t easy. After all, she had been in shock when she had discovered she wasn't the real daughter of the King and Queen of New-Tolemac. “I don’t know… I mean, I’m pretty sure there were my adoptive parents’ names in the paper, but…”
And that was when Killian realized that he had bought her some time, at least. “So you are not completely sure that they are your parents.”
He saw how her shoulders hunched as she was looking at him with watering pleading eyes and he understood that part of her was yelling to run away from pain and old scars, but another part was whispering that maybe she could finally find that love that only parents can give and that she had never felt in her life.
“You know what? We’re going to go back, and we’re going to spend a few more days with those people. We could even ask them if they would like to come with us on our journey back.”
“But..” She started.
Killian stopped her with the raise of one finger. “If it turns out that they really are your parents, well, you’ll have more time to understand why they decided to abandon you when you were just a baby. And only after that, we’ll choose if we hate them or not. Sounds fair?”
She didn’t move for a few minutes, dwelling on his words, but then she put a hand on his bionic one, and even if she knew he couldn’t feel it, she squeezed it with gratitude. Thank you for bearing this weight with me. She would have liked to say the words, but they didn’t come. She didn’t have the strength to analyze why he was doing this for her. Too many feelings for one night, to face new and unfamiliar ones. “Okay.” was what she finally said.
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
A/N: Sorry for the waiting, but real life came along and I had to stop writing for a couple of weeks.
Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta reader I could ever ask for.
And thank to all of you who are reading this. Happy Labour Day!
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Chapter 6
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Be not inhospitable to strangers,
lest they be angels in disguise.
(W. B. Yeats)
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When Killian regained consciousness he found himself in what reminded him of a military hospital. There were thin white curtains around his bed, but through them he could spot other beds like his, most of them empty. The room seemed large and dimly lit.
He closed his eyes and remembered the crash landing, the unknown desert planet, the great rock that was about to crush Henry, and that feeling of unease and imminent danger he had felt just before the impact. Where was he? And above all what kind of situation was he in, a good or a bad one? He opened his eyes again, and noticed he wasn’t alone. A woman was checking his IV, and a nearby monitor was beeping intermittently.
Killian tried to sit up, but a stabbing pain in his lungs made him desist immediately. He groaned loudly.
“Look who’s awake.” Said the woman, who was now staring at him. “Hello, handsome.” She added cheerfully.
Killian had found himself dealing with uncharted waters several times in his life. He decided to play the waiting game. “This is usually my line, well, more or less.”
“Really? In this case, I'll warn my husband not to approach you.”
“Don’t worry I'm not into men, not recently at least.” He smirked.
“Oh, but my husband is quite the charming one.”
“I still prefer the company of a fair lady, if I could choose.” He winked and chuckled, and a dull pain made him gasp.
“Take it easy.” She immediately shifted her attitude from playful to worried. “How do you feel?”
“As if I've been hit by a rocket.”
“Not a rocket, but yes, you’ve been hit hard. You’ve suffered two broken ribs. And believe me, you were lucky, it could have been worse. Do you mind if I run some tests and see how you react?”
“No problem.”
While the woman was busy measuring his temperature, making him follow a small blue LED light with his gaze, and extracting some blood to examine later, he took advantage of the opportunity to observe her more closely. She had short black hair and green eyes, bright and lively in contrast to her very delicate skin. Killian found himself thinking of another pair of green eyes, which had been filling his thoughts frequently lately. The memory brought him back to reality quickly.
“What is this place?” He inquired, eager to know what had happened while he was unconscious.
“Welcome to Vernal-Den.” She answered smiling.
Killian tried to remember if he had ever read about this planet. “Never heard of it.”
“Yeah, we’re not very popular.”
Was she too concentrated on checking-in his vitals, or was she being too concise on purpose? He didn’t know, but he intended to keep an eye on her. “How long was I out?”
“A while.” Another elusive answer.
He decided to test the waters. “Were there ….other injured people with me?”
“If you’re referring to Henry and Emma, they are perfectly fine.” She seemed sincere. “They are staying at our place. Henry has visited you every day since you came in.”
“And Emma?”
“Well, she can’t come in. She’s not a relative of yours. But she has spent long hours sitting just outside that door.” She said pointing towards the exit. “I had to order her to go home and get some rest.”
After that she excused herself, saying that she had to attend to other patients.
He realized she hadn’t even told him her name. He didn’t know if he could trust her or not. The fact that she had avoided some of his questions sent chills down his spine. And most of all there was the Emma problem.
Why couldn’t she visit him? Was it true that it was only a matter of rules? Or was she in some kind of peril? He needed to know what was happening behind those doors that separated him from the woman that had been pestering his dreams in the last ten years of his life. He had to know that she was alright. To hell with rules! He thought. And by the way, when was the last time he followed one. He had to get out of this place. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his lungs was so strong that his vision started to blur and cold sweat formed on his temples. He lay back down on the bed, aware that in his conditions he couldn’t have gone far before collapsing unconscious on the floor. He promised himself to solve the problem as soon as he had enough strengths, but he couldn't dwell too much on that thought, because sleep was reclaiming his mind again.
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~·~·~·~
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Time passed very slowly, or so it seemed, but maybe it was simply the fact that every day looked the same. Killian was mostly asleep, probably due to the painkillers introduced through the IV, and when he woke up he couldn't tell how long he had been out, he couldn't even tell if it was day or night. There were no windows in that room.
During one of the moments when his mind regained consciousness, he felt the mattress drop slightly to one side and he slowly opened his eyes.
“You are awake! How do you feel? Can you breathe? Of course you can, you would be dead otherwise! Does it hurt?” Henry was sitting at the end of the bed, and he was asking a lot of questions, as usual. “Sorry.” He suddenly looked contrite. “I should let you rest, but…”
“It’s ok, lad.” Killian cut him off. “I’m glad to see you’re all in one piece.”
The boy greeted him with a wide grin.
Killian remembered the last moments before getting injured, and he was relieved to know that he had been able to prevent that rock from hitting Henry. But other worries crowded his mind. “How about your mom?”
“She’s fine. She’s outside. They won’t let her in. You know, only relatives and all that stuff.” He explained.
“I see. And why are you…?”
Henry didn’t let him finish the question. “I told them I’m your son.” He whispered with a conspiratory smile.
“Clever boy.” Killian’s chuckle turned soon into a cough due to the pain.
“Does it hurt?” The boy asked, frowning.
The man dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. “It’s not a big deal.” He didn’t want the lad to feel responsible for his well-being. “How many days have passed since we landed here?” He asked, changing the subject.
“I don't know exactly.” And at Killian’s questioning look, he added, “It’s complicated.”
“How so?”
“People live underground here,” The boy started to explain, “With no opportunity to look outside. And there are no clocks. My watch had probably broken when we arrived, it doesn’t work anymore.”
The man hummed, he was starting to understand. The lack of windows, the elusive answer he had received from the dark-haired nurse… everything was beginning to tally in Killian’s head. “I want you to think carefully about everything you saw outside this room. Did you feel something was wrong?”
The boy shrugged. “I don't know.” He seemed to ponder. “This place is strange. Lots of corridors and passages underground. We are not allowed to go out into the open. They say it’s dangerous. But I never felt a threat or something. I would rather say it’s boring.”
“Why boring?”
Henry was trying to find the right words to explain it. “All the days are the same, people repeat the same actions every day. They say it’s useful to maintain a routine. But I don’t think Mary Margaret and David are bad people.”
“I’m sorry, who?” Killian asked.
“Oh, yeah, Mary Margaret, she is your nurse. We’re staying at her home. She is very nice. And David is her husband. He showed me the greenhouse. It’s awesome and huge, you should see it! But I don’t think he works there. I don’t know what his job is.”
Routine? New people? A greenhouse? Well, that was a lot of information to process. But Killian felt sleep calling him back. Next time I see that lady Margaret, I’m going to ask her not to put more painkillers in my IV. He thought. “Thank you, Henry, for everything. But I may need to rest for a while now.” He managed to say before falling asleep again.
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~·~·~·~
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Emma knew Killian was feeling better, Henry had told her about their short chat, and some of her child's enthusiasm had even infected her positively, but she continued to feel restless, she wanted to make herself useful. Most of all, she wanted to see Killian again.
All this absurd situation was her fault. And no, she was not thinking about the fact that Killian was lying on a hospital bed because of some bad decisions she had made lately. No. She was not going down that path again. She had already spent a lot of hours regretting many choices done in the last month.
But this was nonsensical, why couldn’t she visit a friend that was hurt and maybe in need of some company? She had actually had a chance to say that she was his wife; after all in the eyes of her guests, she and Killian had a son together, so why not lie a bit more and make Mary Margaret believe that she and Killian were married. But the thought of a possible long time spent together on this planet feigning to be a happily married couple scared her, and she couldn’t go on with the lie.
So there she was, sitting on a very uncomfortable metal chair in the waiting room. She had spent more hours there than she could count.
David had passed by to greet his wife, and he had offered to take Henry with him, on the way back home. So she was left alone with her thoughts.
Mary Margaret peeked out the door with a steaming mug in her hand. “Take this. It will help.”
She agreed with a nod. “Thank you.” She sipped some of the hot liquid and it felt like her nerves were starting to relax a little.
“You should go home and rest. It's late.” The woman said.
“Mary Margaret let me enter.” Emma pleaded for the umpteenth time.
“We have already talked about it. You know I can’t do that. There are strict rules down here, and the best way for us to survive is to follow them.”
“This is insane. I’m not a dangerous criminal or someone who is plotting to destroy this planet. I just want to see him. Please.” She begged.
The dark-haired woman seemed to be pondering all the possible consequences. “All right.” She sighed. “Let’s just say that I’m going inside and leave the door ajar, by mistake, of course. I have to check some very important documents, so I’ll be busy and concentrated. I’m not going to ask you what you’re going to do in the next... fifteen minutes or so. Okay?”
“Thank you.” Emma handed her the cup back, rising from her chair. “You won’t regret it.”
After Mary Margaret disappeared behind the door, Emma waited some minutes before going after her. The room was large and there were many beds, she had no idea where Killian was, but after a quick look at the surroundings, she discovered that only a couple of all the beds were occupied.
She approached one of those and gently opened the curtain trying not to disturb the patient lying inside.
Killian seemed asleep. He was pale, with dark circles under his eyes. She could only imagine the pain he was going through. She had her heart in her throat because she felt responsible for the situation. If they hadn't taken a detour because she had requested it, they'd probably all be home safe and sound by now.
“Hey, beautiful.” He greeted her with a painful grin.
Immersed as she was in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that he had woken up. She smiled, trying to be strong and not show her inner turmoil. “Do they treat you well here?”
“I'm not complaining. The nurse is kind and the food is edible.” He tried to downplay the situation. “Although I would prefer the care and attention of a certain blonde.” He winked.
Emma chuckled. Then she went closer to him and sat down on the side of his bed, trying not to cause him any more pain. She looked him straight in the eye, and then, gently, she took his hand in hers, intertwining her fingers with his. She saw him swallow hard, and the beeping of his heartbeat accelerated on the monitor. She smiled softly again. “Thank you for saving my son’s life.”
She saw how he wet his lips before answering as if his mouth had been suddenly dry. “It was the right thing to do.” Was his answer, but his voice came out slightly choked.
Emma looked back, checking if any hospital employee was nearby, “I shouldn’t be here, and unfortunately my time is running out. But I wanted to see you... needed to see with my own eyes that you are ok... well, more or less.” She whispered, with her gaze lowered, avoiding eye contact. The physical connection of their joined hands was already arousing too many contradictory emotions inside her.
“Aye. I know the feeling.” He replied, letting her know that he had been eager to establish contact with her throughout his stay in the hospital.
At those words, she stared at him again. “Get well soon.” She bent down and dropped a mild kiss at the corner of his lips. “We need you.”
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~·~·~·~
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Killian was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. This time there was no way he would fall asleep again. Every time he thought about what had just happened his beeping monitor sped up. He blushed. It had been just a chaste kiss, nothing compared to the hot and breathtaking one they had shared a few days before. But she had said it had been a one-time thing and he had promised himself not to indulge in those lustful thoughts anymore. Yet, this last kiss had seemed much more real, and meaningful... it had left him with a feeling of hope.
Hope and distress. Emma was such a strong and beautiful woman, a marvelous creature, as he liked to describe her in his mind, and a princess even. And what was he? A rebel, and a scoundrel. Or a rapscallion... whatever. Okay, maybe not anymore, but he had been in the past, for many years. He had been trying to redeem himself lately. But was he worth enough of her? That was the million dollar question.
He was still ruminating on it when the known brunette peeked out the curtains. “Hello. How are you today?” She greeted him with a bright smile, as usual.
“Better.” He hoped the monitor on his right wasn’t showing his state of mind.
She came closer. “Do you mind if I check your ribs? It's time to change the dressing.” After a short pause, she added, “I'm sorry, but we don't have the best equipment to assist our patients. We have to work with what we have available on this planet.” She said pointing to the bands that covered his chest.
Killian nodded, and Mary Margaret started to untie the bandages. She seemed concentrated on her task, probably she was trying to avoid causing him any pain. It was only when she started to apply an ointment on the bruises, that she spoke again. “You love her.” It was just a whisper, and Killian doubted if he had heard correctly. But then she added “Emma.”
It wasn’t a question, and he pondered what was the correct answer, or if she was expecting one. “I'd go to the end of the world for her… Or the multiverse.” He said eventually.
“And she for you, I take it?”
Killian chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“What’s the problem?” She looked at him surprised. Then took some clean gauzes and started to wrap them on him.
“She's bloody brilliant, an amazing woman. She fights for her son and always does what’s right.” Killian’s voice was so full of admiration.
“Is there something wrong with it?” Mary Margaret inquired.
Killian shook his head again. “She raised the bar very high. The fact is, I don't think I measure up.”
The woman folded the old bandages and took the ointment bottle, then she stood up, she was making an exit when she stopped short. “Since you came here I've been watching you.”
“I don't know if I should be flattered or scared.” The man tried to ease the tension of the moment.
“We don’t have many foreigners on this planet, but believe me, you're not one of the bad guys. You sacrificed yourself for the sake of a young boy. There's good in your heart.” She smiled at him softly. “I’m going to look for the doctor; I bet you’ll be leaving this room soon.”
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~·~·~·~
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The following day started the same as the previous ones. But during the first hours of the evening a man in a white coat came to visit Killian. He explained the medications and precautions to be taken to him, some movements that he should avoid for a while, and other tips for a speedy recovery. Then he handed over some papers for the patient to sign to be discharged. Finally some good news.
After a while redressing and packing up his few belongings in his satchel Killian went to the door. Walking hurt a bit but nothing he couldn’t bear.
Mary Margaret was already waiting for him, and a tall blonde guy was with her. “You must be Jones.” He said. When they shook hands, Killian learned his name was David Nolan, and he remembered Henry had mentioned him in his conversations. “I’m going to take you to our humble abode.”
Nolan's house was in fact modest. A loft with a large dining room, a kitchenette, a bedroom, and a small bathroom on one corner, all open, without doors, except for the bathroom. There was a raised bedroom opposite it, whose access was a metal stair.
Dinner was good, if a little awkward. Emma didn't interact much, and Killian wanted to ask if something was troubling her, but he preferred to wait for a better time, perhaps a less crowded one. Henry entertained them with what he had done throughout the day and kept repeating how glad he was that Killian was back with them.
But the man was still a bit cautious with those new people around him. He didn’t know them, especially the Nolan guy, who had been silent for most of the dinner, glancing sidelong at him as if he wanted to study him thoroughly before making a personal judgment. The feeling was mutual, Killian thought.
Just after dessert, David started to speak. “What will you need to restore your ship?” He asked.
“Uh… a new stabilizer, I think, and some parts of the propulsion engine for sure. But I’ll have to look closely at the damages to be sure there’s nothing else broken.”
The blond man nodded. “Not many ships come and go from here. But I hope we can find all the pieces you need.”
“Thank you, mate.”
“Tomorrow I’ll take you to the hangar where your ship is. We’ll have a look at it.” He seemed sincere in his generosity.
“May I help?” Henry barged in.
A chorus of “No!” echoed the room.
“I appreciate the support, but it could be dangerous.” Killian explained.
“I hate being here. I feel trapped.” The boy complained.
Mary Margaret sighed. “This is a feeling that will vanish with time.”
The woman was no doubt trying to instill some optimism, but Killian didn't like the idea of staying in that place longer than necessary. “Well, then, let’s hope we could leave this planet before the feeling has entirely vanished.” He made a grin and passed his hand on his side.
“Time for resting.” The brunette stated although it sounded more like an order. “But before that, we should change those bandages. Emma, would you like to help me?”
“Me?” Emma, who had been silent and a bit on the sidelines all evening, seemed to re-emerge from wherever she’d gone.
“He won’t be able to do it by himself when you won’t live here anymore. It’s better if you learn how to help him.” Mary Margaret clarified.
Emma looked like she was going to object, but in the end, she asserted. “Sure.”
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~·~·~·~
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If a certain nervousness had taken hold of Emma as she climbed to the upstairs room, it disappeared the instant Mary Margaret helped Killian get rid of his shirt. That wasn’t a thorax, it was a nautical chart. Most of it was covered by gauze, but she could still spot many marks and scars.
There was a tattoo, two of them to be exact, but Emma saw just one at first. It was on his right forearm; it was a big red heart with a dagger running through and the name “Milah” across it. Emma made a mental note to ask him later who she was.
Mary Margaret showed her how to unfasten the bandages, and then she ordered her to stand behind him, to help better in removing them all.
On his back, Emma saw the second tattoo, on his right shoulder. It was an old nautical instrument she had read about in a book when she was younger, but she couldn’t remember the exact name. The drawing was beautifully detailed, even if it had faded, it was probably older than the other one, she thought.
And when all the gauze was out of the way, she saw them: tiny, blurred, old scars that studded most of his back. Emma wondered what kind of life he had to endure when he was very young.
Mary Margaret asked her to help with the ointment. She had already opened the bottle and was showing the blonde woman how much cream to use. But Emma wasn't listening, standing now in front of the man, her attention was caught by the glorious chest hair that was covering most of his torso.
Okay, there was also a big, horrible bruise on his right ribs, but Mary Margaret was saying that it seemed on the way to a fast recovery, if the yellow and purple veining was some indication.
Emma was ogling and she wasn’t ashamed of it either. The amount of hair decreased in the lower part of his chest, leaving a black trail that disappeared under the hem of his pants.
"See something you like?" Emma was abruptly taken back to reality by a smug Killian that was smirking at her while arching an eyebrow. She blushed. She was caught red-handed, but she couldn’t let him win. She took advantage of the fact that Mary Margaret was looking for something in a nearby drawer, to get closer to him. She looked at him lasciviously from under her lashes. “Maybe?” She purred.
Now it was his time to blush, he looked intently at his feet, but she found the bright red that appeared on his ears extremely endearing. Point for Emma.
Mary Margaret taught the other woman how to fix the bandages, and Emma had to use some tiny hooks to hold them together. She did not miss the opportunity to casually slide her fingers over a part of his chest hair that came out of the bandages.
“Bloody Hell!” Killian muttered.
Emma retreated her hand immediately. “Sorry. Did I hurt you?” Worries that she had done something wrong clouded her gaze.
“Apologies.” Killian was scratching behind his ear, in evident embarrassment. “While I do enjoy two lovely ladies attending to my needs, I'm not used to someone taking care of me…” He smiled and brought his mouth close to Emma’s ear: “I’m usually the one who devotes full attention to a woman’s needs.” He whispered, but clearly not as quietly as he would have liked, because Mary Margaret's answer - “Well, you will have to put that off for a while” - made him blush again like a schoolboy scolded by his teacher.
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~·~·~·~
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Suddenly it was bedtime. Everyone was busy making preparations and taking shifts for the bathroom to change for the night. Killian was upstairs, staring at the bed he knew he had to share with Emma, who was arranging a pillow on the nearby sofa. He passed a hand through his hair and then scratched a spot behind his right ear. “I'll crash on that couch.” He stated as if it was the most logical conclusion to a battle he was fighting inside.
“Don't be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “It's barely long enough for Henry. Plus, you’re still recovering, you absolutely need to rest.”
He didn't seem very convinced. “Emma, I'm not sure this is a good idea.”
“And why is that?” Was her exasperated reply, turning towards him with her hands on her hips. “What are you going to do? Seduce me with a couple of broken ribs and a ten-year-old boy sleeping next to us?”
He lifted his arms and surrendered. “Fair point.” He conceded.
In no time they were all ready for the night and Henry was snoring softly on the sofa. Killian was supine, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the events of the day. In any case, sleep had no intention of coming, but he tried not to move. He didn’t want to wake up his roommates. Emma was lying close with her back to him and he didn’t know if she was already in the arms of Morpheus.
He turned his head to observe how her upper body moved with the rhythm of her breathing, blond curls covering her shoulders. Killian had to repress the urge to touch them. And as if responding to his call, she stirred and turned to face him.
Her eyes opened lazily. “Still awake?” She murmured.
“I have the feeling that I’ve slept enough for the rest of my life.” He whispered. “But you can’t rest either, I see.”
She didn’t answer.
Perhaps it was the closeness, perhaps it was the fact that they had spent the last few days apart. Killian didn't know how he found the courage, but he lifted his left arm as an invitation. “Come here,” he said.
She seemed to ponder the situation, chewing her bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
He decided not to think about all the possible implications of that sentence. He was falling in love with her, he was aware of it. Probably the simple doubt that she might not reciprocate was already hurting him, but he knew that at that moment she was referring only to his physical bruises. “You won’t.”
She slipped under the sheets towards him, resting her head gently on his left shoulder and placing a hand on his chest, avoiding the bruised part. Not many minutes passed before her lids grew heavy and she dozed off to the rhythm of his heartbeats. Killian placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Summary: Emma woke up like any other morning in her bed ... to find out that the day would not be like any other.
This story takes place during the weeks between S4A and S4B.
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Rating: G
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Warning: gender swap
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AO3
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A/N: Apparently it's exactly eleven years of Tumblr for me. Hence a one-shot.
This is meant to be a lighthearted and funny story, or so I hope.
All my gratitude goes to my amazing beta-reader @thisonesatellite.
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Emma woke up like every other morning in her bed, in the upper part of her parents’ loft. Henry was staying at Regina’s for a few days, so she knew she was alone in her room, that’s why she was surprised to see Hook’s hand first thing, after slightly opening her eyes.
She tried to remember the previous evening, and she knew that they had spent more time than necessary downstairs before separating, but she was sure he had left before she went to bed.
Had he come back, snuck into her room during the night? Well, that was a first.
But she wouldn’t complain if he had decided to sleep behind her, with an arm enveloping her waist.
She closed her eyes again, deciding to enjoy this little quiet moment.
But it was strange, she couldn’t feel his body heat.
She opened one eye again. His hand was still there, and it was definitely his hand that entered her peripheral view. With his characteristic rings, and some hair on the arm that peeked out the pajama sleeve, the same color as hers.
Wait… not only the same color, exactly the same pajamas!
That was even stranger. Bright pink was not something he used to wear.
She lifted her right hand to touch his, but at the same time, he lifted his.
Emma was finally completely awake. Sitting on the bed, her back leaned against the headboard.
She looked around, but she was alone.
She stared at her hands.
No. Definitely not her hands.
Those were Hook’s hands, or better, hand. Just one. The left sleeve of her pajamas ended in nothing.
No! No! No! Emma started chanting it inside her head. This isn’t possible!
Emma stood up and hurried towards a mirror hung on the wall on the right side of the bed.
She gasped as soon she saw her reflection, hand and blunt wrist lifted, trying to cover her face... or better, his face!
In the mirror, there was no trace of Emma Swan, just the image of Hook wearing her pink pajamas with little bunnies on them.
Ok, to be honest, the image was ridiculous, but she didn’t find the strength to laugh. “No! No! No!” She started to repeat, this time aloud.
Emma went running downstairs, but she immediately realized she was home alone. She had no idea what to do, it seemed like a bad nightmare or an awful b-movie where the main characters made a wish to be in the other’s shoes. But she was completely sure she hadn’t made such a wish. Had he?
She was pondering whether to call and ask Hook about this when the main door opened and David entered with a strange look in his eyes.
Father and daughter stared at each other for a few seconds. Emma didn’t know if she was blushing or she was going mad, but she couldn't imagine what kind of thoughts might be going through her father's head.
What he finally said was the last thing she was expecting. “Emma?”
He didn’t ask it as if he was wondering where his daughter was, he asked it as if he wanted to be sure that the person in front of him was really Emma.
“Dad?” Was her reply. But it came out as a question. Because if she was in Hook’s body, who was talking to her? She had been living in Storybrooke for quite some time now to know that everything was possible.
“No. Not your dad, honey. I’m your mother.” He… she… whatever… answered.
Emma sat down on the first chair she found and sighed. “What the hell happened last night?”
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~·~·~·~
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Killian woke up to the sound of an incoming message text on his phone. He turned around in the bed and before reaching for the device, he passed a hand over his face, trying to shoo away the nightly cobwebs.
What the hell? He thought, feeling only smooth skin, no trace of his stubble. He looked down at his hand, or better say, hands. Because he now had two of them. Delicate, neat, and very, very feminine.
He jumped out of the bed and went to the bathroom, noticing that he had to tie the belt of his trousers, now wide on his hips. When he looked up in the mirror, he cursed "Bloody hell!"
How is this even possible? He thought, reverently touching the blonde tendrils that covered his shoulder. In the mirror, there was one sleepy and somewhat unkempt Emma.
"Emma!" He exclaimed. Worries starting to fill his mind.
Killian went back, pacing his room at Granny's, deciding what to do, when he suddenly remembered the text message and grabbed his phone to read it.
"We need to talk." Was the short line from his love. Nothing more.
He didn't know if she was in the same dire straits he was. But if he was inside her body, she probably wouldn’t be in better shape.
A knock on the door distracted him from his thoughts.
When he opened, the vision in front of him left him speechless.
"It's me. Emma." She felt the need to specify. "May I enter?" But she didn't wait for his reply and stepped in, closing the door behind her.
Killian was still looking at her, or rather, at himself, mouth agape.
Emma put her one hand on her waist and arched one eyebrow, waiting for any kind of reaction from him.
After what seemed an eternity Killian was only capable of asking "What the hell are you wearing?"
Emma opened some buttons of her shirt, revealing the pink pajamas with bunnies under it. "Do you think walking here in my pajamas would have been better?"
Killian shook his head.
"And thank God I always wear pajamas two sizes too big, because otherwise, I have no idea in which state of undress I would have woken up this morning!"
"I'm glad you just put some clothes over it." Was his reply. "I suppose those are your father's, aren't they?" He stated, indicating the large plaid shirt and the jeans she was wearing.
She nodded. "And, by the way, I brought you some clothes of mine, so you can change". She left a bag at the end of the bed.
Killian was wearing the same outfit he had worn the previous day. When he had come home at night, he had collapsed on the bed without taking anything off, apart from his black leather jacket and boots. “I do not intend to change.”
“Why not? You can't go out like this.” Emma pointed to the belt he was wearing, cinched tightly, and the way his clothes fell oversized on her thin body.
He shrugged. "I'm not going to undress until we are back to our own bodies."
Emma arched one eyebrow again. She was getting used to doing this gesture she had so often seen on his face. "Are you telling me that you're not going to have a shower until we solve this problem?"
"Are you?" Was his reply with a shocked expression on his, well, her face.
"I haven't thought about it, but I suppose I'll do it, sooner or later. Or do you prefer me to carry your smelling body around the town?"
"Emma, love" he started, struggling to find the best way of expressing what he wanted to say. "We're making progress in our relationship. That's a fact. But we haven't taken the next step, yet." He stressed the last “t” and made a pause letting his words soak in her. "Are you sure you want me to look at your fully naked body for the first time while you're not in possession of it?"
Emma could feel how the upper point of her, ahem… his ears became hotter. "Oh!" She was only able to say.
"Exactly my point. Oh! So no. I do not intend to bathe while I'm not back to be myself. My entire self!"
And then he scrunched her face in disgust.
"What is it?" She asked, touching her, his cheeks, "Do I have something on your face?"
He shook his head. "No worries. I just realized I don't like the way I blush."
“All right.” She sighed. “Let's get to business. David and Mary Margaret are waiting for us at the station.” After a short pause, she added, “And before you ask, yes, they have swapped their bodies as well.”
“This is going to be weird.” It was his time to sigh.
“Weird is the understatement of the year!” Emma exclaimed. “David ...no wait, Mary Margaret told me that not everyone in this town has been affected by this… thing. She has already met Leroy and Granny this morning and they seem to be their usual selves.”
“So why us?” Killian asked.
“My mother has a theory, she texted me a few minutes ago that she would like to talk with us in person about it, both of us.”
“All right, love, lead the way.” He gestured toward the room door.
But before leaving, Emma asked Killian to help her put on his hook because doing everyday actions one-handed was nothing easy. He had his doubts, worried that she would hurt herself or someone else unintentionally, but in the end, he gave in. "Be careful, it's sharp."
And he had to lace her hair in a ponytail with a rubber band she had given to him, because "If you don't want to wash, at least comb my hair, I don't want to become a Rastafarian". He had no idea what that was, but Emma's already categorical orders sounded even more threatening coming out of his lips.
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~·~·~·~
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When Emma and Killian entered the station, David, in the body of Mary Margaret, was already there waiting for them. He was wearing a soft pink sweater, very typical of his wife, and he was scratching his neck. "I don't know how Snow can live inside this!"
Killian suppressed a laugh "Was it indispensable for you to put on her clothes?"
"My wife thought that we should attract the least attention possible, given that this curse, or whatever it is, hasn't affected all the people of Storybrooke."
"Where's mom?" Emma asked.
"She said something about a matter at school, but she'll be here soon."
"I can use this time to relieve myself," Emma said.
"No!" Killian and David shouted simultaneously.
"Are you kidding me?" She was stunned.
They both shook their heads. "You'll have to wait."
"Come on girls, I'm going to explode!" As soon as the words came out of Emma's mouth, she realized her mistake, which was received by a scowl from the men. "Guys." She corrected herself. "Sorry, out of habit. But I really, really need to."
"Fine!" Killian exhaled. "I'll help."
"What do you mean, help?" David was annoyed.
"It's my bloody body." The other man cut short.
A couple of minutes after, Killian was standing next to Emma in the small toilet of the station.
She had a scarf tied around her eyes so that she couldn't see anything. "Is this really necessary?" She asked arms stretched before her to not hit anything.
"Aye, love, it is."
Killian positioned her in the right spot and she felt how the zipper of the jeans opened up.
She couldn't see, but her other senses were quite alive. When Killian took out her, or better said, his member, she jolted. "Whoa!"
"Everything alright?" Killian worried.
"Yeah, sorry, it's just... Is this what you feel when someone is touching you?" She inquired.
He seemed to ponder over it. "I'm not sure what you're feeling right now, but I suppose yes."
When Emma finished and was fully dressed again, Killian took the scarf from her eyes.
"Don't you have to...?" She asked, pointing towards the toilet seat.
He shook his head. "When you live on the ocean for so many years, you learn how to hold it. Facilities are not the strongest point of a ship."
"You may know how to repress it, but I know my body and believe me, you won't resist as much as you think."
He swallowed hard. "Let's go back to our duties."
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~·~·~·~
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When Emma and Killian went back to the main room of the station, Mary Margaret was already there as well.
She told them that a girl had locked herself into a class room and had no intention of coming out.
Snow had had to go check it out as sheriff, but as soon as she’d arrived she’d recognized the girl's voice as that of one of her ex-students.
A classmate had told her that the girl in question had come to school that morning crying and saying that she had done something horrible.
Mary Margaret knew the girl’s background, she came from a good family, and her parents were True Love, which made it likely that this girl was showing the first signs of magic.
“It could have been her, unintentionally causing all this trouble.” She explained. “And giving that she is the product of True Love, well, I thought that’s why this sort of curse doesn’t affect all the people.”
“I don’t follow you.” Was Emma’s statement.
“I mean that, maybe, it affects only True Love couples.” Mary Margaret stated.
At that, there were various looks exchanged between the four of them. But it wasn’t the time or place to discuss it.
Snow went on. “David, she won’t talk to me, because she doesn't recognize me. But I’m sure that if you could go to school and try to make her reason, we could probably find out what she did.”
“Me?” He asked bewildered.
“Yes, you. Because to the rest of the world, you are me!” And she crossed her arms indicating that the matter was closed.
David muttered something like “What would I say to her?” and “Why is it always up to me?” But in the end, he surrendered to his wife’s desire. With the condition that Killian would go with him, in his role of Sheriff Swan.
In the meantime Emma and Mary Margaret would go to talk to Regina, to find out if there was a possible magical cure to this curse, or whatever it was.
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~·~·~·~
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Regina opened her front door to see a very puzzled David Nolan, who was more interested in finding out if anyone was following him, and an unusual Killian Jones, who was wearing an outfit more typical of the man next to him. The mayor raised one eyebrow in question, looking at the couple in front of her. “Sheriff, Captain, what can I do for you?”
“Ah… we hope you could help us with a delicate issue.” The blond man said.
She left the door wide open for the others to come inside. “I see that being part of the Charming family is affecting you more than it should, pirate.” She was looking down at Killian.
“We’re not who you think we are.” Was his short reply.
Regina froze. “And exactly who are you?” She knew that glamor spells were never a good thing.
“Emma”. “Mary Margaret.” They answered in unison.
Regina relaxed a bit. “Well, this is…” She started.
But she was immediately interrupted by Emma “Weird.”
“Awkward”. Mary Margaret added.
“I was going to say: amusing.”
“Believe me, Regina, there’s nothing funny about this.” Emma snorted. “And by the way, why aren’t you in Robin’s body?” She asked.
Regina crossed her arms and lifted one eyebrow. “Should I?”
“Yes. Or at least we thought you…” But Emma didn’t finish the sentence.
“I supposed that this curse, or whatever this is, is affecting only True Love couples. But maybe I’m wrong.” Mary Margaret explained.
The mayor seemed to ponder that possibility. “You could be right.” She conceded. “Assuming that the Savior and the Captain are True Love.”
Emma didn’t let her go down that path. “But that doesn't explain why you are still…you!”
“Because magic only applies to Storybrooke boundaries, and as we all know, Robin is now out of town.” Regina clarified matter-of-factly. “That’s why his, I mean, her" she added pointing towards Mary Margaret "theory could be correct.”
Emma was not at all liking the turn that dialogue was taking, and went straight to the point. “Can you undo it?”
“I could. If I knew who made this curse and how. You should know that all magic has its counterspell, but we need to be sure about how it was created.” It sounded more like a reproach than an explanation. “And by the way, have you tried by kissing your guyliner boyfriend?”
“Regina!” Emma hissed.
“Alright, alright.” The mayor complied. “Let me know if you find out who did this. And I will work on a possible antidote.”
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~·~·~·~
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Meanwhile, the two men had almost reached the school grounds when Killian grabbed David’s arm to stop him. “There is no need to raise suspicions, we should behave like the people we seem to be.”
“What do you mean?” David wasn’t following his companion’s thoughts.
“Your wife doesn’t walk like that,” Killian stated.
“What?”
“It’s more like a fashion show than a march to war.” The other explained.
“I don’t know if I’m more upset by the fact that you noticed how my wife walks, or because you know what a fashion show is.”
“What can I say, I’m a man of many surprises.” Killian winked smugly.
“I’m not going to punch you in the face, just because your current face is my daughter’s.” David started his stroll towards the school, even more at the full march.
“I never thought this situation could have some perks.” Killian chortled.
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~·~·~·~
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As it turned out, Mary Margaret was right. The girl was scared when Killian and David entered the room where she was hiding, but as soon as she recognized her ex-teacher she burst into tears.
She told them that the day before she had argued with her boyfriend, but her parents didn't seem to care about it, confident that sooner or later the young lovebirds would resolve it. She added that it was very difficult to be the daughter of a perfect married couple; it seemed that everyone expected her life to be the same.
That was why she had so badly wished that all True Love couples could go through some kind of misunderstanding so that her parents could see her point of view.
But, of course, the next morning, realizing the harm her wish had caused her parents had made her regret it, and now she had no idea how to fix the situation.
David tried to reassure the girl, telling her that they would soon find a cure to fix everything.
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~·~·~·~
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And that was exactly what Regina did. Fixed it. In no time she produced the antidote for the Proteus’ curse. That was the name of this curious magic that swapped True Love’s bodies. The mayor gave to all the couples affected some little bottles that they had to drink to reverse the curse.
Killian and Emma were standing in his hotel room at Granny’s. Facing each other. Two vials on the table next to them.
“So,” she said, “this is it. Back to our original selves.”
“Aye, that’s the idea. Are we sure Regina didn’t put anything strange into these liquids? I wouldn’t like to wake up tomorrow with a dragon face or similar.”
“I think we can trust her.” But she didn’t move to reach for the bottles.
He saw her hesitation. “What is it, love?”
“I was thinking about something you said this morning.”
She was clearly uncomfortable, so he tried to lighten the moment. “You shall have to be more specific, I said many things.”
“I’m glad you chose to not take a shower. Not until we’re back to normal.”
“No need to thank me.” He lifted a hand to caress her cheek, but it was strange for him to notice his stubble under the fingertips.
“Yeah, well…”
She was still hesitant, he could sense it. “Is there anything else you would like to tell me? Or shall we proceed to…” He said, indicating the vials.
She looked at him hesitantly and he nodded, to let her know that she could tell him anything, whatever it was that was worrying her.
“Uh… given that we haven’t taken that next step already in our relationship… you know… we could try things.”
This attracted his curiosity. “Define things.”
“I was thinking… what if we take advantage of this situation to get to know each other better. I mean… we could for example take that bath together.”
Killian was starting to understand what she was trying to say, but he wasn’t sure to be on the same track. “Even though I do find myself devilishly handsome, I’d rather be you, all of you, on the other end of my attentions.”
She laughed, releasing some of the tension. “But we have this opportunity to feel what the other would feel when we touch each other, isn’t it interesting? And I'm glad I'm not the one who has to get on tiptoe to be able to kiss you.” She grinned. “So, what do you say?”
She was being serious, she really wanted to try it. But what did he want? He stared at her for a few beats of their hearts. Then he shook his head. “No.”
“No?” She was surprised.
“No.” He repeated. “As much as it does sound intriguing and tantalizing, I still prefer our first time to be the way it should be. And believe me, Emma, when we decide to take that step, we will know what the other one is feeling, maybe not in the most literal meaning of the word, but we will know it. And it will be perfect. Just as I want it to be.”
A million thoughts seemed to cross her mind, but in the end, she understood his point of view and smiled at him. “Ok.” She went closer and tilted her head until she could feel his lips on hers... or vice versa. The kiss was short but still intimate.
“And by the way, I do not like to be the one who has to get on tiptoe to be able to kiss you,” Killian muttered.
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta I could ever ask for . And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 5
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“Do not wait to strike
till the iron is hot;
but make it hot
by striking.”
(W. B. Yeats)
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Everyone on the Jolly Roger was almost ready to start the journey back home and the crew was busy sorting out the last details. In the end, the little holiday had been a pleasant one; Emma was happy she had decided to embark on this adventure. But she also looked a bit worried. Wrinkles showed up on her forehead while she was chewing her bottom lip. “Henry, would you mind checking if everything is in order in our cabin?”
As soon as the kid left the main hall, Emma approached Killian. “Can I talk to you for one second?”
Killian observed how she was acting anxiously, often checking on the door in case Henry would come back. “No need to find an excuse with your boy. If you want to spend some time alone with me, you just have to ask.” He tried to minimize the moment.
She answered him with a roll of her eyes, but it was clear that something was bothering her. “Are we leaving already?” She asked.
“Probably not before tomorrow morning. I need some more time to replace the fuel and our water supplies.”
“Oh, okay.” Was her short reply. But Killian detected apprehension.
“What’s the rush?” He inquired.
She dismissed the matter with a wave of her hand and he decided to take advantage of the moment alone with her. “Why did you accept?” He suddenly asked. “To come on this trip.” He added to her puzzled expression.
“I just want to offer Henry every possible chance to live a life full of good experiences.”
Killian hummed, but he had a feeling there was something more. He made another step towards her, invading her space, and he could now distinguish the freckles that dotted her cheeks, which he found very endearing. He tilted his head and kept his eyes connected with hers, trying to read what she was not telling him.
Emma did not step back nor she lowered her stare, but she was biting her lower lip again. "And I have a lead." She admitted eventually.
He didn't see that coming and arched an eyebrow in question. "Come again?"
She looked briefly over her shoulder towards the door, but Henry wasn't in sight. "I may have found someone that could have information about my adoptive parents and their plan," she whispered in case Henry could hear her, "I know where this person is, but I don’t know how to reach him."
Killian was all ears even though he somehow already knew he wouldn't like what was coming next.
"I need a favor,” she started explaining. “This man, he appears to be on a planet… ahm...” She handed him a little piece of paper with some coordinates. “Here, see? Do you think we could make a stopover there on our way back home?”
Killian glanced briefly at the numbers written on the paper and nodded. An unpleasant feeling of anxiety was growing inside him.
“I have already arranged an appointment, well sort of, with this guy.” Emma went on. “I can set the meeting at an hour when Henry should be already asleep. He doesn't usually wake up at night, but in case he does… would you distract him until I come back?"
"What kind of appointment? Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Will you?" She insisted, avoiding his questions.
Killian sighed. "On one condition.”
“Shoot."
“What’s this guy’s name?” Killian asked as if it wasn’t a big deal.
Emma stared at him for a few seconds. “Are you going to check on him?”
“Of course I will.”
“I have already done that. Thank you, but you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m the captain here, and I have to take all the possible precautions when it comes to my ship. And you meeting someone whose name I don’t even know could represent a risk.” Killian was starting to lose his patience. Everything about this appointment was screaming danger.
Emma crossed her arms in front of her defensively, but in the end, she surrendered. “Fine. His name is Sidney Glass and he’s a journalist, he’s not a criminal or anything. He travels a lot, that’s why I’m pretty sure he’s got more current information than what I have about New-Tolemac.”
“So what’s the plan, Swan? Seduce him until he speaks?” He asked sardonically.
“Would it be any problem?” She retorted.
He swallowed hard. “I don’t like it. If he’s a journalist, it won’t be easy to make him spill any possible secret he may know.”
Emma looked behind her back again. Still no sign of her son. “Will you take care of Henry or not?”
Killian finally nodded. “I assure you, nothing will happen to the boy while he’s in my charge.” But his gut told him he was already regretting the decision.
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~·~·~·~
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Days passed quietly. Killian tried to bring up the topic from time to time, but she wasn’t keen on talking about her upcoming appointment, always avoiding his questions and rapidly changing the subject. She was also spending less and less time sitting near him in the main cabin at night, just in case he started worrying again. He suspected she knew that meeting this man could be risky, but he soon learned how stubborn she could be, especially with a goal in mind.
That’s why he was surprised when the evening before the scheduled appointment she approached him while cooking dinner. Henry was sitting nearby, immersed in his tablet.
“What the hell is that thing?” She asked pointing to a big hairy bug Killian was holding.
“It’s a mottled furry cockroach.” He answered as the most obvious thing.
“Yuck!” Emma scrunched her nose in disgust. “It’s huge!”
“This one? Oh, no, it’s just a baby. Grown-ups can reach even 3.5 feet length.” Killian seemed delighted.
“Is it dead?”
“Of course it is. One little bite of this creature and you’re going to pass some nasty hours of life. Its foam is poisonous.” He explained.
“And what exactly are we going to do with it?”
“Why, eat it!” Was his answer. “It’s our dinner.”
“You are not being serious, are you?”
“Believe me, with a nut of garlic butter and some secret spices only I know, it’s exquisite.”
She moved close to him, probably more than necessary. He shot an inquisitive look at her. She spoke as lower as she could so that Henry couldn't listen. “Are you trying to poison me, so that I can’t go to my appointment?”
He turned towards her and stared directly into her eyes, his face mere inches from hers. “Try something new, love, it’s called trust.” And he could sense a sudden shift in her behavior, even though he didn't know if it was because she was making an effort and opening her trust to him or if it was because they were standing so close he could feel her warm breath on his face. They stayed like that for a few beats of their hearts.
“Could you please stop making eyes at each other when I'm in the same room? It's gross.” Henry said behind them.
Emma hurried back to the table “I don't do that”, she stated, while Killian tried to concentrate on the ingredients in front of him even if he couldn't suppress a smile. What the hell was with this woman that made him act like a teenager with his first crush?
As soon as the meal was prepared Killian served it on a metallic tray accompanied by some rehydrated vegetables. When all were served with their portion of food, he opened a bottle of yellow sauce and poured just the right amount on the plates. After that, he sat down waiting for his guests’ reactions.
Emma was fidgeting with her fork, moving pieces of food from one side of the plate to the other.
Henry was the first one in giving in to it, always famished. “It's not bad at all!” He exclaimed enthusiastically.
Killian put his right elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. He was staring expectantly at Emma.
“Okay, let's do this!” She breathed. And then she put a piece of meat in her mouth and closed her eyes, probably for savoring it better, or maybe for just not seeing what she was eating. After a couple of seconds, she emitted a sound that Killian would describe as a moan “God. This is delicious!” She purred.
Killian’s mouth fell open. He was conscious of ogling her and his pupils were probably already dilated, but he couldn't help himself.
As soon as Emma opened her eyes and met his, a bright red color flushed her cheeks, but Killian couldn't figure out if it was because she suddenly understood what she had just done, or because his inappropriate thoughts were written all over his face like an open book.
“Guys, you're doing it again.” Henry managed to say with his mouth full of food without averting his eyes from his plate.
The rest of the dinner passed in awkward silence.
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~·~·~·~
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It was already dark when Emma emerged from her door, wearing a skin-tight black dress that left little to the imagination. A dark leather jacket that she wore hanging from one shoulder and high heels of the same color completed her outfit.
Killian was just walking from the main cabin to the ship's entrance when he stopped short: jaw dropped, admiring the vision before him. "You look stunning." He breathed.
He tried to move towards her as casually as possible, adjusting his trousers to relieve the sudden unpleasant pressure and praying to the gods that she didn't notice it. But of course, she did, if her quick look down and a sudden blush on her cheeks were any indication.
"Good." She exhaled not making eye contact with him.
"Remind me why letting you go alone is a good idea." He spoke in a low voice at a cautious distance from her, restraining the urge to put a rebellious lock behind her ear.
"I can take care of myself." She stated finally looking defiantly in his eyes.
"I’m aware of that. But that Glass man, you don't know anything about him. Just be careful."
She swayed a bit towards him, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're being jealous." She was teasing him, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know it. But that wasn't the time to play that game, so he just gave her a warning look.
"Don't fuck it up." She smiled, and then she stepped next to him, invading him with her scent. She put her mouth to his ear and whispered: “And yes, the pun was intended.”
With that, she turned back and made her exit through the main gate.
Bloody Hell! Killian thought.
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~·~·~·~
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As soon as Emma left the ship, Killian sat down at his control board and switched on his computer. He inserted the name of Sidney Glass and waited until he had all the results. He had already checked on the man several times, but he hadn’t found anything conclusive yet. Maybe there wasn’t anything to find out, but something inside him was telling him to keep looking.
Not much appeared on the screen. A bunch of local prizes for articles he had written years ago. Appearances in several news conferences on various planets. He didn’t seem to have a family and he had traveled a lot.
This was frustrating. Sidney looked clean, this should have reassured him, and yet... But then two words appeared on the screen: "Lepka Industry". The man had worked for the Industry at an early age. It couldn't be a coincidence, could it? Killian thought.
What are you getting into? The LED light started to blink.
“Not now, Liam.” Was Killian’s short answer.
If I were you, I would go back to Althea-Seals as soon as possible, deposit that woman and her lad safe at home, and forget about them forever.
“Well, luckily, you’re not me.”
You don't know her, brother, you have no idea what troubles she could bring. And any connection with the Industry, even the most feeble one, means danger. You, of all people, should know that. Listen to me, Killian. Forget about her, before it's too late.
A voice inside Killian whispered to listen to his older brother, always with words of wisdom. But another voice, louder, was suggesting to ignore him. “Maybe it's already too late.” He sighed.
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~·~·~·~
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And it was late, indeed. Literally. Too much for his likes. More than three hours had passed since Emma had gone out, and she hadn’t come back yet. Killian was starting to feel anxious. What if something had happened to her? And he was stuck on his ship, taking care of her son. He went to the kitchen counter and poured a glass of his favorite liquor. He stared at it but didn’t drink it. He shouldn't indulge in its temptation. Henry was sleeping just a door down from him.
He was still pondering the option of swallowing the amber liquid or not when Emma opened the main gate with the code Killian had previously given to her.
First thing inside she took off her high heeled shoes, balancing precariously on her wobbly legs. She looked very tired.
“I’m exhausted” she exhaled “and I had too many drinks.”
“How was your date?” He tried to ask nonchalantly. He didn't want to show her how annoyed he was, but he couldn't help a scowl.
“It wasn't a date.” Was her dry reply.
He released a sarcastic chuckle.
She watched him carefully, “Are you drunk?”
“I would never do that while in charge of your boy, Swan.” His patience was hanging by a thread.
Emma approached him. Killian straightened his back and stared into her eyes, trying to keep control of the situation, and not wanting to give her the privilege of berating him without case, but his confidence had never intimidated her. She looked at the glass he was still holding and took it from his grasp drinking it down as if it were water. He was impressed, he knew his rum should have burned her throat.
“You still haven't answered my question.” He insisted.
“I don't know.” Was her evasive answer.
“And what does that mean?”
She shrugged. “I had some news, but not what I expected to hear.”
Bloody infuriating woman. Killian internally cursed. “Good or bad news?”
She exchanged the glass with the bottle on the counter and drank directly from that. “I don't want to talk right now.” She had no intention of divulging more information, it was clear in her posture. She was trying hard to maintain control over the situation.
He was not one to back down from a challenge. “And what do you want to do?”
At her lack of reply, he pressed “Did he touch you?”
She took another sip without averting her eyes from his, but without answering either.
To hell with personal space, he thought. With a quick movement, he took the bottle from her and deposited it in the sink, then he cornered her between himself and the kitchen counter. “Did you have fun, Princess?” He asked, mocking her royal title.
“You don't have a right to question my actions, Jones.”
“Believe me, I'm very well aware of it!” He stated, punctuating the last consonant, his face at mere inches from hers.
The first thing Killian registered was that she lowered her eyes to his mouth. The second thing was that she vehemently grabbed the lapels of his vest. The third was the distinct sensation of her burning lips on his. And he had the clear impression that in the kiss she was putting all of her frustrations, and all of her hopes, and all of her exhaustion, and whatever other feeling she was experiencing.
It was frantic and desperate and hot. And Killian’s head was swirling: because of the lack of oxygen, because everything in her was intoxicating because he was already addicted and she was his drug.
“That was…” he murmured when they had to split up to recover some air.
But she didn't let him finish. “A one-time thing.” She disentangled from him and when she reached her cabin without looking back she said “goodnight Captain,” and disappeared behind the door.
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~·~·~·~
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When Emma got out of bed the next morning, she had a dull headache from her hangover and a feeling that something was wrong. The ship was swaying, Killian had probably taken off during night, not wanting to waste other time to get home. Her mind immediately flew to him and the last moments of the previous day.
She had kissed him. Why? What had she been thinking? She told herself that she had probably drunk more than she could handle and she shouldn't give it any importance, but would go on behaving towards Killian exactly as she had done before. Nothing would change. They were both adults and it had been just a kiss.
But what a hell of a kiss it was. She couldn’t avoid thinking about it.
She couldn't fool herself either. She felt attracted to him, and he was probably aware of it, too. With his self-confidence, his lean torso, his ever unkempt dark hair, and his scruffy stubble. But Emma was not one who easily surrendered to a man's charms. She didn't want to get lost in the ocean blue of his eyes. She wanted to be found. The problem was that she didn't know if she could trust him.
But it was not just the turmoil of a morning after that was bothering her, something wasn’t right, she could sense it. A shake and a loud noise confirmed her foreboding. Henry woke up with a start and they briefly looked at each other before bursting into the main cabin. “What was that?” They asked in unison.
The ship was shaking and Killian had visible difficulties keeping it stable. The knuckles of his right hand were white with the effort and his bionic hand was in an impossible position. Through the windows, they could spot a very close planet.
The red LED was blinking and the metallic voice resounded in the cabin: Damages on the orbital maneuvering system and the vertical stabilizer, one of the propulsion engines is offline. I’m asking permission for landing, but I’m not getting any signals back.
Something shiny passed close to the ship.
“Was that a meteorite?” Henry asked.
“I have no idea what that was. The moment we entered the gravitational layer of this bloody planet, those bright flying things appeared out of nowhere.”
“Are we being attacked?” Was Emma’s worried question. “And why did we go so close to land?”
“There wasn’t supposed to be a planet here!” Killian was almost shouting from frustration.
Another loud bang shook the ship even worse.
“To hell with permissions! Hold tight, we’re landing over there.” He exclaimed, pointing to what looked like a spaceship's port.
Emma sat down on the same chair she used to sit at night. Then took Henry’s arm as an invitation to sit upon her knees and so Killian could keep doing his job without interference. The boy was already reaching for the man in his endless need to be helpful, he probably thought that he could give a hand in holding up the steering. But another flashing thing hit the ship and a piercing alarm started echoing through the cabin. That deterred Henry and he sat upon Emma’s lap, grabbing his mother's shoulders to avoid falling as a strong jolt shook the ship to its foundations.
While they approached the ground, big rocks appeared outside the windows, floating, and they became incandescent as soon as they came in contact with whatever atmosphere was surrounding the planet.
Was this land itself spitting meteorites? Killian tried to understand what was happening, but even if he had traveled to many different places, he had never seen anything like that. He was also worried about his crew, he wanted to look at them, be sure they were all right, but he was too concentrated on avoiding the rocks and not getting hit again.
The port was approaching fast. Killian internally prayed to the Gods above that the brakes would still work properly. He just hoped that someone could rescue the three of them alive.
After what seemed to be a long and quite difficult maneuver, the ship touched down. He turned off the engines and everything went silent. They looked at each other, waiting for a sign of life, but nothing came. Killian leaned his head against the back of the chair and exhaled. Then he got up and started rummaging through his belongings.
Emma and Henry were clinging to each other, but the boy slipped away and ran towards Killian hugging him. “You did it!” He exclaimed. The man was taken aback by this show of affection, he scratched a spot behind his right ear and tried to defuse “I’m a hell of a Captain!”
Killian took a shoulder bag from behind his hammock, and two laser pistols, delivering one of them to Emma. “What are you doing?” She asked, holding cautiously the weapon in her hand.
“We sent a request for an emergency landing and nobody answered. This planet does not appear in any known charts. I am taking the necessary precautions, it's best to be prepared for anything, good or bad.”
“I want a weapon, as well.” Henry stood there with his back straight and his hands on his hips, to reaffirm his statement.
“No way.” Emma thought that was enough to put an end to the subject.
“But what if I’m in danger and I need to defend myself?” He insisted stubbornly.
Killian retrieved his automatic harpoon from a locker near the control dashboard. “Take this. Munitions should be downstairs.” But before Henry could run towards the stairs, he grabbed the boy’s elbow and added “Don’t use it unless it’s necessary, lad. And try not to hurt yourself.” Henry nodded and ran away enthusiastically.
Stunned by the remark, Emma stood, mouth agape, staring at Killian. “Are you kidding me?”
“Don’t worry. It probably won’t work. I forgot to recharge it.”
“You forgot to recharge your weapon.” It wasn’t a question.
He was moving fast around the cabin, retrieving who knows what from here and there, packing his satchel “It was supposed to be a simple commercial trip: no big risks.” He stopped right in front of her and raised one eyebrow. “Wasn’t it?”
She looked at him chewing her bottom lip. “What are we going to do?”
“Go outside, have a look at the damages, find the replacement parts, and hope to come back home alive from this place.”
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~·~·~·~
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The planet seemed to be desert, apart from the port there was nothing, just sand, and rocks. No people on the horizon.
“This is strange,” Emma said as the three of them were exploring the surrounding area. “Can you feel it too?” A sense of oppression and discomfort pervaded her.
Killian nodded. “It’s too quiet. Something is wrong.”
A large stone flew from nowhere and Killian saw as Henry was right on its trajectory. He launched himself trying to protect the boy from the inevitable collision. The last thing he felt was a sharp pain in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Then everything went black.
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
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Rating: M
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Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
AO3
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A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta I could ever ask for . And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 4
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But I, being poor,
have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams
under your feet;
tread softly because
you tread on my dreams.
(W. B. Yeats)
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Days passed quietly. Emma and Henry went back to their usual mother-son relationship sooner than Killian had expected and he enjoyed all the domestic moments with them. Especially at night. Not that he didn’t care about the boy, Henry was always a ray of sunshine, and Killian felt he was starting to bond with him deeper than he could have ever imagined. But at night, after Henry had gone to sleep, Emma always spent some time in the main cabin, sitting next to Killian: sometimes just staring silently at the starry sky, other times listening to him explaining all the different constellations they passed through, even though Killian wasn’t sure whether she was interested in his knowledge, or she was too well-mannered to stop his blathering.
Emma Swan. This beautiful and somehow mysterious woman had invaded his life and had fascinated him since their very first meeting.
More exactly, she had tormented his nights and thoughts from that moment on. A bittersweet obsession that had accompanied him for years. He had almost convinced himself that he was over her, during his reckless years with his friend Robin. But that wasn't entirely true, and he couldn't lie to himself. She used to appear in his dreams when he least expected and left a hollowing feeling in his soul for the rest of the following days whenever it happened as if he wasn’t entirely complete without her.
The night he had found her again, thanks to Henry, his heart had skipped a beat and he had known he was in trouble. But it was a cross he was willing to bear. It was not only a physical attraction he felt towards her, even though he couldn’t fool himself, she was a very good-looking woman; but he was also determined to discover every single detail of what she was, no matter the effort. From that moment on, he cherished every minute, every second spent with her.
When they finally arrived at their destination, permission to land on the new planet was easily granted. Nevertheless, the day was coming to an end and they decided it was better to sleep inside the ship in the hangar than to find an available place to spend the night.
The next morning, from one of the lockers in the entrance of the spaceship, Killian retrieved the package that he needed to trade in exchange for the item he had to recover for his client.
It was still early and Killian was surprised to see Henry coming out of his cabin, still wearing pajamas. “Are you already going?” The boy asked him, trying to suppress a yawn.
“Aye, but I will be back soon.” He assured the lad.
Henry threw a glance at the closed door behind him and stepped closed to Killian. “Mom is still in the shower. May I ask you a favor?” He whispered, conspiratorial.
Killian made a great effort not to linger on the thought of a naked Emma under the shower jet, he breathed deeply and concentrated on the boy in front of him. “Sure, lad.”
“Today is my mom’s birthday.”
“Is it, now?” Killian was both surprised and amused by this piece of information.
“Yes. We have this tradition, my mom and I,” the boy explained. “When it's my birthday she tries to celebrate it with a cake... or something… It's not always a big thing, I remember once we just had a couple of biscuits with frozen spicy cream on them.” After a small pause, he added, “mom doesn't want to make me worry, but I can see she’s in some kind of trouble. I’d like to make a little celebration for her this time. But she won't let me wander around an unknown planet all by myself.”
Killian nodded in understatement. “You want me to purchase something sweet for your mother.”
“I know you have your job to do, but if it's not much of a problem, could you look for something?” He asked hopefully.
“Not a problem. At all.”
Henry's grin widened. “Of course mom doesn’t have to know anything about it. And we are going to need a name!”
“Come again?” Killian couldn’t follow the boy’s thoughts.
Henry extended a hand to shake with the man in front of him “Operation Candlelight is on!” He exclaimed.
Killian chuckled and retrieved his hand just in time to see Emma appearing from another door, fully dressed for the day.
She was wearing a pair of stretched dark blue jeans and a thin white v-neck blouse with a skinny light brown leather vest over it. Her hair was still damped and Killian had to swallow a groan when his eyes followed a drop of water running down her cleavage.
“Oh, Henry, you’re already awake.” She said surprised.
“I was just saying to your boy…” Killian came in help to a puzzled Henry, who wasn’t so quick in thinking of a good excuse why he was already out of bed. “I've heard there's a fair in town.”
He turned to Henry “Maybe you and your mother could have a look while I’m attending my duties.” And then back to Emma “What do you say, Swan?”
The boy looked hesitantly at his mother.
"I think it's a good idea," she agreed and was rewarded by a big grin on Henry's face.
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~·~·~·~
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The trade went smoothly as predicted, which gave Killian enough time to deal with the assignment that Henry had sent him on.
Finding something sweet to celebrate was more difficult than expected, it took him a few rounds through narrow streets and alleys and after asking a few passers-by for information, he finally found something that in his opinion could serve as dessert. But the hardest part was to discern the right thing to buy as Emma's present. Henry hadn’t mentioned anything about a gift, but Killian thought it could be the right excuse to surprise her.
The problem was that he had no clue what she would like.
Killian tried to think about the time the two of them had spent together. All right, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to linger on the memories of their first encounter. And maybe it wasn’t good either to think about their second one. But since Henry entered his life things had changed. When the boy was in the same room with them, she seemed more relaxed, more condescending, less closed up inside her inner barriers. Killian would say she even seemed happier.
And the moments shared at night in his cabin had been... well, some had been carefree and others had been intense, very intense. In the short amount of days they’d spent together, Killian had already revealed to Emma too much information about his past, something he had never done before with anyone, not even his best friend Robin. And that was alarming. He knew he had a soft spot for her, but to which extent?
Bloody Hell, man, you’re so screwed-up! He said to himself. That Lady Swan is going to be the death of you. Killian sighed and passed a hand through his hair as if that simple gesture could be enough to clear up his mind. Swan. He thought and realized that he never asked her why she chose exactly this surname while changing her identity. He assumed that it had to mean something of significance to her. And there it was: the perfect idea for a gift.
When he went back on his spaceship it was already late evening and he found his guests sitting at the table in the entrance playing hologram chess.
“Who's winning?” He asked, securing the locks of the main gate.
“Henry is a much better player than I am,” Emma admitted.
Killian took a seat next to her and whispered something in her ear. After that Emma studied the board. “Oh. That's an interesting move,” she exclaimed carrying out what Killian had just suggested.
“It's not fair. That's cheating.” Henry complained.
“Come on, lad, your mother is at an evident disadvantage. Let me give her some advice.” But when Henry made an unsure face, “just this time?” Killian added winking at the boy.
“Ok...but only this once.” Henry surrendered.
Emma looked at them perplexed, sensing that something was brewing between them, but didn't ask for further explanations.
Dinner passed by telling how their days had gone. It was clear that Henry had enjoyed the fair quite a lot, especially some storytelling he’d had the opportunity to attend. “Have you ever been to the NTH-Confederates planets, Killian?”
The NTH-Confederates planets belonged to a very far galaxy and they were shrouded in layers of fabulous legends. Killian had always had problems discerning the truth from the myth, but he knew the large hand of The Industry had touched them somehow, and they had succumbed to it, dark times awaited those planets. “I've heard about them but never had the luck to land over there. From what I know, it's a very different place now than what it was in its glorious days.”
“This man, he told us of so many fantastic creatures he saw!”
“I wouldn't believe every word the storyteller said, kid. They are just stories.” Emma tried to rationalize.
“Yeah. I suppose. But it would be cool if a place like that actually existed.”
“One can always dream about marvelous lands and wish they exist, right? Talking about dreams and wishes…” but Killian didn’t finish his sentence, he stood up from the table and went to rummage in some of the kitchenette lockers. When he turned to face his guests, he was holding a sort of a brown whole cupcake with colorful cream and a single lighted candle on top. He deposited it in front of an astonished Emma with a grin on his face, and he sat down again on his chair. “Sorry, it was the only sweet food I’ve found on this planet.” He said apologetically.
“Killian...?” Emma started to say, but Henry was faster: “It's perfect!” The boy was wearing a matching grin to the man in front of her.
“How...? What does it mean?” Was the only thing she was able to put into words.
“Well, some fleeting rumor told me that today is some sort of anniversary. Correct me if I’m wrong.” Killian explained. Before she could answer him, he lifted a hand to stop her. “Before blowing out the candle, don't forget to make a wish!”
She looked up at her son, then at Killian for a brief moment, then she closed her eyes. When she opened them again there was resolution and something Killian identified as hope in them. She blew out and the candle went off.
Cheers and applause rang out. Henry was glowing, hugging his mother fiercely, while Killian smacked his forehead, as if he was suddenly remembering something, and then he retrieved a little package from one of his pockets. He offered it to a puzzled Emma.
She extricated herself from her son's arms and took the wrapped item Killian was giving to her. “What is this?” She asked cautiously.
“Customarily, a surprise is part of the fun of gift-giving.” He answered smiling. “Open it.” He urged her.
Opening the paper wrapping Emma found a small dark swan pendant made of polished meteorite rock. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered with shiny eyes, close to tears.
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~·~·~·~
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Later that night, Killian was resting on his hammock with his arms behind his head. The door opened and closed and Emma entered his cabin as she had always done the last few nights while they were flying. But tonight was a bit different. He wasn't sitting at the controls, but already lying on his bed.
She approached him with a serious look.
“Everything alright, Swan?” He asked as she stepped closer biting her lower lip.
She seemed to consider the situation for a few seconds before climbing into the hammock and lying next to him: her head on his chest and an arm resting across his torso. “Thank you.” She spoke so quietly that Killian wasn’t even sure he had heard correctly.
He didn’t know how to react, he felt paralyzed. But when it seemed she was feeling comfortable with the proximity, he put his left arm around her back and released a breath he didn't know he was holding.
They spent a few moments like that, neither of them wanted to break the spell of silence. Killian’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Of all the questions he would have liked to make her, to help him solve the puzzle this incredible woman represented, one came out of his mouth without really thinking about it “What happened the day we met? I mean after I left.”
She kept quiet for a few minutes, and he began to believe that she was in no mood to speak, but then she started with a soft voice almost audible: “Just after you left the room, that man, Neal Cassidy, he entered declaring that it was his right to… you know. He just wanted the reward money. I haven’t heard from him since. He’s probably not interested in his son at all. He just used me for his benefits.”
Killian clenched his jaw; if he had that Cassidy guy in front of him right now he would have punched him in the face. “Did he hurt you?” He asked, trying to control his rage.
“Well, I wasn’t exactly an expert in that matter, given that I was raised in strict privacy and all.” She sighed. “I knew I had to relax, but my mind wasn’t on the same path as my good intentions. So I’m not sure it was entirely his fault.”
“Son of a bitch.” Killian couldn't repress a curse.
“If it makes you feel any better, that wasn’t even the worst day of my life.” She stated. “The night you found me on the shore… I was so furious with you. I went back to the Palace to talk with my lawyers, to see if I could banish you from the planet, or put you in jail, or something like that. But it was late and I didn’t find anyone in their office. What I did find were some papers about me, ready to be signed. You were right. The King and Queen of New-Tolemac wanted full authority on my child, they weren’t interested in me or my future.”
“I should apologize for the horrible things I said to you that night.”
“Don’t. At least you were the only one who never lied to me.” Her gaze seemed lost in the memory of those days. “I also found a document, an old one. I discovered I was adopted, or rather, I was sold. My real parents gave me away when I was only a few days old. They probably needed some money and they used me, as so many others did.”
After a small pause, she added: “Henry is the only person in my life that cares about me for who I am.”
“I never intended to use you.” Killian assured, but he soon corrected himself: “All right, maybe I did. But that was before meeting you.”
She seemed to ponder her next words. “I know. This is why I told your name to my son when he first asked me about his father.”
“If there's anything I can do for you…” She had told him the night Henry entered his life.
But Killian dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “No problem.”
“Thank you for bringing him home.” Her tone was genuinely thankful.
“It was the right thing to do.” And when she didn't reply he felt it was the moment to say goodbye.
He started stepping back but suddenly stopped and turned around facing her again. “Uh... now that I think about it. There is a thing you could do for me.” He tilted his head arching an inquiring eyebrow. “I have one question,” he said, emphasizing his words lifting one of his fingers, “why does your boy believe that I'm his father?”
At those words, she lifted her gaze to look straight into his eyes. “I wanted Henry to believe his father was a good man.” Emma had answered, staring at him with sincerity before entering her house and closing the door behind her.
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
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Rating: M
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Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2
AO3
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A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the fastest and best beta reader I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 3
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It takes more courage to
dig deep in the dark corners
of your own soul and
the back alleys of your society
than it does for a soldier
to fight on the battlefield.
(W. B. Yeats)
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Many, many years ago,
in another solar system.
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Arcadia was Killian’s place. His home. Not a happy one, but the only one he had ever known. Growing up as a mechanic slave of a greedy merchant was not the best childhood one could hope for, but at least he wasn’t alone, his older brother Liam had always been by his side.
An unexpected explosion in the factory where they used to work put an end to the merchant's life when Killian was only a teenager.
The brothers were finally free.
Liam worked as hard as he could to ensure his brother had a decent life. Killian wasn't as disciplined as his older sibling; he was more of a hothead who often had to be rescued from a whirlpool of rum and games, if not fights. But Liam never gave up, he was always there to remind his younger brother of what was important and to keep him on the right path.
When they both came of age Liam managed to enroll them in the Royal Army. A few quiet and happy years followed. The boys worked and studied hard and they soon reached high ranks. Liam was nominated captain of The Jewel of the Crown, the fastest spaceship on the planet, and Killian was his lieutenant.
Everything seemed to run smoothly.
Until one day their corrupted King put them in charge of a suicide mission, just for his need for power. Killian was skeptical about it, but Liam was stubborn and loyal in his duties and he accepted the mission.
On the way back home Liam died in his brother’s arms, and Killian swore to himself to not to obey another order for as long as he lived.
He took the heart of his beloved brother and fixed it on the inner part of the ship system: connected by electrodes Killian managed to keep at least his brother’s conscience alive and speaking. A poor substitute for what Liam was, but a constant reminder of how much he lost.
Killian then kept the ship and renamed it The Jolly Roger, and flew away from his planet in search of adventures, living every day as his last, and never giving a damn about anything else but his own survival.
In the beginning, Liam was the voice of wisdom and rationalism; he tried to talk his younger brother into not throwing away his life, but Killian didn't want to listen. It was too painful. So he started a life of selfish revelry, while not wallowing in self-pity and drowning his sorrows in every local tavern. As time passed Liam went quieter and quieter, until the day he stopped talking to his brother.
One day, on a strange armored planet Killian had landed, he met a beautiful and strong woman, Milah, and he fell in love with her almost at first sight. She was already married, but she wanted to leave her husband, and she chose to live a life of adventures with Killian. But her husband was jealous and resentful, and unfortunately, he was also a very rich and powerful business owner.
Killian took Milah back to Arcadia, to show her the places where he grew up. It was an unpleasant surprise to find out that his planet had been absorbed by the Lepka Industry, a company that, for its benefit, had depleted all the planet’s resources until it was no more able to produce anything useful, and left the planet inert.
Mr. Gold, leader of the Lepka Industry and also Milah’s husband, had found out where Killian was from and had started to enact his revenge: slowly but successfully. First Killian’s origins, then his love.
Gold showed up one day when the two lovebirds were having a night walk together, and he started a fight with Killian that ended with the latter one losing a hand and with Milah's death in front of Killian’s eyes.
While his destroyed planet was disappearing in the distance from his rear-view screen, tears were running down Killian’s face. Tears of sadness for everything that could have been and wasn’t; tears of rage and frustration for being powerless in front of such an evil creature; tears of longing... “I miss you, Liam.” He whispered to the silence of his spaceship cabin.
The red LED started blinking again and the cold metallic voice spoke: I'm right here little brother. I will never abandon you.
Tears ran even harder down Killian's cheeks.
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~·~·~·~
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Present time.
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The rest of the day passed quietly, well almost. Henry was eager to discover everything he could about the spaceship, and he made Killian answer a lot of questions about the control system, the mechanical parts of the engine, and more specific stuff. He learned how to read the radar and that you need an extra tank of fuel, in case the planet you want to go to delays your permission to land.
Dinner was a pleasant relaxing moment for the three of them. The meal was simple. Given that not every kind of food was going to survive an intergalactic trip, they had had to limit their choices between some dehydrated vegetables and frozen spicy cream, but Killian soon found out that it was one of Henry’s favorite desserts.
“Can I have some more, please?” Henry asked after emptying his second bowl.
“You’re going to explode.” His mother pointed out.
“Oh, but I’ll die happy, mom.” He answered with a big grin.
Killian smiled and gave a mischievous look to Emma “The lad is growing up.”
“Killian, don’t.” She admonished him. But he ignored her and handed another full bowl of cream to Henry with a wink. “What…?” She started, but then: “Do you ever follow an order?”
“Only mine,” Killian answered matter-of-factly.
Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head, while Henry and Killian were sharing a laugh.
“I'm not sure I enjoy the idea of you two as best buddies,” Emma stated.
“He’s my father, of course we’re going to be best buddies!” Henry exclaimed.
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~·~·~·~
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The morning after Killian woke up early, as usual. They weren’t supposed to land before another four or five days at least, but he was used to long driving journeys. He had slept only a few hours, while he could use the help of the autopilot, resting on a hammock he had previously hooked behind the two leather seats that stood opposite the dashboard so that he could easily take control of the ship in case of emergency. But he didn’t feel tired, quite the opposite, he was feeling excited and curious towards what the day with his guests was going to offer him. He distracted himself preparing breakfast, and soon after the table was ready for the three of them, Emma appeared from her cabin, followed by a suspiciously silent Henry.
The boy sat on his chair and devoured his meal with his eyes fixed on his bowl. No word came from him and as soon as he finished, he stood up and went back to his cabin, closing the door behind him. Killian had the impression that if the door wasn’t automatic he would have probably slammed it.
Emma was still savoring her tea and she seemed quite concentrated on the liquid in her cup.
Killian sat back on his chair and crossed his arms; he tilted his head and kept looking at her for a few minutes, but when he understood she had no intention of having a conversation, he cleared his throat and asked: “Have I done something wrong?”
“It’s not your fault.” She stated and then finally looked at him. “Yesterday, before Henry went to sleep, I told him the truth. Or at least part of it. He now knows that you’re not his father. But he’s not upset with you.” And after a pause, she added: “He’s angry with me, for lying to him for so long.”
“Plausible.” Killian nodded. “Henry seems a perceptive boy, give him some time to let it all soak in.”
The rest of the day was much more boring than Killian expected. Neither Emma nor her son were very talkative, and after dinner, Killian wasn't sure if he was more upset by the long hours flying or the tense atmosphere in his ship.
Emma and Henry were sitting at the table, each one immersed in their own electronic screens, reading… whatever damn things they were reading.
Killian snorted, he put the autopilot on and stood up from his seat.
“If you would excuse me, I have a part of the turbocharger to check.” But as soon as two pairs of worried eyes looked at him, he hurried to explain: “Oh, it’s nothing serious, but better not to leave loose ends, right?”
Killian started his way down the stairs that led to the engine room, but after just a couple of steps, he stopped and looked back. “Henry, would you like to come with me? I may need a hand.”
Henry nodded and ran past him down the stairs. Killian smiled to the ever characteristic enthusiasm of the boy, and before resuming his descent he gave a side look to Emma and winked. She furrowed her brows in question.
Down in the storage room, Killian found Henry waiting for him. The lad was probably wondering why they hadn't entered the engine zone yet. But Killian ignored his silent question and went directly to a locker from where he retrieved a little box and something that looked like a toy sand mill with a switch on the upper right side and a glass flask at the bottom; he deposited everything on the small table in the center of the room.
“Wanna hold a bright star?” He asked the boy.
“That's impossible.” Henry was skeptical.
Killian hummed. “I wouldn’t say that. Given the many places I’ve visited and everything I’ve seen in my life, I’d say that there are just a few things that are not possible.”
He lifted the upper lid of the mill while saying: “We need to generate enough energy for the turbocharger.”
Then he opened the box and took a plastic bag with some grey powder in it. “You see this? This is stardust.” He said and immediately knew he had the boy’s attention.
“Did you collect it?” Henry asked.
“I like adventures, but I’m no fool. It's extremely dangerous to go near a star, especially one which is going to implode soon. You would not come back to tell the story.” Killian shook his head. “I bought it some time ago in an exotic market. Now, all you have to do is to pour some of the contents inside the grinder. But be careful, it's a rare item, don't spill it.”
Henry took the bag with reverential care and started to put some dust into the mill. “Like this?”
“You're doing great. That should be enough. Now switch it on.”
Henry closed the upper lid and turned it on. The sand started to swirl faster and faster until it began to shine so intensely that the mill could hardly be seen through the amount of light.
“This is awesome! It totally seems like a shining star.” The boy was staring in awe with wide-open eyes.
“Aye. I thought you would like it.” And after a pause, Killian added: “You can keep it if you want.”
“But what about the turbocharger? You will have to make another one.” But just after Henry said the words, he clearly understood the truth behind it. “Oh... you don't need stardust energy. You didn't even need my help, did you?”
Killian nodded. “You're a clever boy.”
Right at that moment Emma entered the room. “It’s time for you to go to sleep, kid.”
But Henry ignored her. He switched the mill off and the light softly disappeared. Without averting his eyes from it, he whispered: “It would have been cool if you were my real dad.”
Killian swallowed hard, a strange lump was forming in his throat, but that wasn't the right time to analyze it.
“You already have an amazing mother, as far as I know.” Killian briefly looked up at Emma, who smiled slightly at his poor attempt to mediate.
Henry shrugged.
“Just because someone helped in…” Killian searched for the best word to describe it, “creating you, it doesn't mean he's your father.”
“What about your dad?” The boy asked.
“Not the best example. My mother died when I was still a wee lad and my father, well, he did the best he could to raise my brother and me. At least he tried for some time. But he was addicted to games and he liked to bet more than he could afford. One night, surrounded by his creditors, he ran away. Never knew anything about him after that. My brother and I... uh... we were the ransom for his misdeeds. He sold us to a merchant.”
“Sold? You mean you were a slave?” The astonishment in the boy's voice was visible.
“Aye.” Killian sighed.
Henry wrinkled his nose in repugnance: “That's awful!”
“Aye. But I had my older brother with me. He was probably a much better father figure to me than my real papa. He taught me everything I know.”
Henry thought about it for a few seconds then he nodded. He took the mill in his hands: “Thank you, Killian.”
“No need. Now, be a good son and go to rest as your mother said.”
The boy turned around towards the stairs. Emma waited until he was almost upstairs then she looked at Killian and mimicked a voiceless thank you before following her son.
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~·~·~·~
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Later that night, Killian was concentrating on flying when he heard the sound of the sliding door behind him opening and closing. Emma soon appeared in his peripheral view. She slumped down on the seat next to him.
“Henry is finally asleep.” She let him know.
“You should rest as well, Swan.” He had happened to address her using her surname lately. He liked the way it sounded, and he thought it suited her. Swans were quite rare on any planet he had been, and they were known for their purity and beauty, but also their fierce temperament, especially when protecting their offspring.
“What about you? Shouldn’t you get some sleep too?”
“I usually don’t sleep much.” Was his evasive answer.
“Are you going to be at the helm all night?” She asked, a bit concerned.
“As soon as we are out of this group of meteorites I’ll put the autopilot. No need to worry. If there’s any problem, my ship will wake me up.” He reassured her.
But she didn’t move from her seat. She stared at the sidereal starscape; her gaze appeared to be lost somewhere far away. “It’s more than an automatic voice. Isn’t it?”
Killian fixed his sight to the horizon, as well. Emma thought that she may have trespassed some unspoken boundary, that the question she did was probably far too intimate to receive a proper answer. But after a few minutes of silence, he sighed “Aye. It’s my brother Liam.”
“How...?” She started to ask, and he could hear the wonderment in her voice, but then she changed the question: “What happened?”
“We were serving in the Royal Army, back on our planet. Liam was the captain of this spaceship. I was his lieutenant. Our King entrusted a perilous mission to us; I knew it was a suicide mission, but Liam was stubborn and very strict when it came to following orders. He didn’t make it. He died in my arms. I…” Killian breathed deeply. “I put his heart in the innermost part of this ship’s system. Powered by strong hydrogen electrodes I somehow manage to preserve his… soul? Being? I don’t even know what it is, but at least I still hear his voice.”
She didn’t react immediately to his story. She was probably assimilating the new pieces of information about him. Killian internally cursed because he couldn’t stop concentrating on the outer path, while he would have liked to have given her his full attention, to understand what was brewing in that beautiful head of hers.
When she kept silent for longer than he could bear, he couldn’t help avert his eyes from the meteorites just enough time to see her smiling at him. That was unexpected.
“I’m sorry for your brother, but now I understand your rejection of royalty.” She chuckled softly: “and your troubles in following orders.”
Killian found himself smiling too.
It was nice to spend a few moments with her sitting next to him, it reminded him of when he used to sit exactly where she was now, just to keep his older brother company during the night travels. A feeling of long-forgotten joy at the domestic situation warmed his heart.
They managed to pass the group of meteorites without any major consequences, and now there were only stars and distant planets in their sight. “This is beautiful,” Emma stated.
“Aye. It is.” Killian agreed, then he pushed a couple of buttons and lifted a lever in front of him activating the autopilot. “And now, I can finally stretch my bones on that hammock.”
“How can you sleep on that thing?”
“You wouldn’t say it, Swan, but it’s quite comfortable.” Then, wagging his eyebrows, he added: “I could show you how to relax on it?”
What was he doing? Was he flirting with her? But the shared moments before had left them in a bubble of closeness, and he was feeling audacious.
His attempt gained him a roll of eyes from her. “Thank you for the offer, but not tonight.” She stood up and Killian expected a strategic retreat from her. But she went closer to him and bending down she whispered in his ear: “Maybe another time.”
Killian’s jaw dropped open. Was she flirting back? While the door of his cabin was sliding close he could only mutter “Bloody Hell!”
Happy New Year! 🥳 2020 is something we'd rather put behind us, so for 2021, I hope that you are able to catch a break and breathe a little easier. I hope this new year will be kinder to you and your loved ones and that things begin to look up in all aspects! ❤️❤️
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
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Rating: M
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Prologue; Chapter 1,
AO3
.
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A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 2.
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There are no strangers here;
Only friends you haven’t yet met.
(W. B. Yeats)
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In the past three weeks, Killian had had no news of Henry or his mother. He knew he should concentrate on something else: whatever was happening in their lives was none of his business. But he hadn't been able to let go of the memory of their last encounter. What if the lad was right and Emma was in danger? She didn't look like the successful Princess of a remote planet anymore, and maybe her life wasn't any fairytale. But what could he do? And above all, was it really his problem?
Tonight was a fillglow night. Killian was waiting for Robin and Roland to join him and watch the match together on his big projecting screen. He and Robin had been long fans of this sport, and Roland took the same passion from them.
Killian had already prepared some bowls of multicolored pop grains. The only kind of grains that could grow on this desert planet, and they didn’t need to be rehydrated to be eaten. Luckily Roland loved them, especially the cones and star-shaped ones. The boy and his father were supposed to bring the drinks, which consisted mainly of berry juices. It was the most similar to a family routine they had, every fortnight a match was broadcast and Killian enjoyed the time together with his buddies.
Fillglow was a very popular sport in many galaxies, there was even a Multiverse Championship. Roland would have given anything to get tickets for the FMC finale, he had never watched a match live, none of them had. Tonight’s match was a local one, not pivotal, but it didn't matter, it was a good excuse for Killian to spend some time with his adopted family.
But the thoughts of the late events had distracted him, and he didn’t realize what time was. The projector was already on and the match was about to start. A knock on the door startled him. He hurried up to open with a big grin, “you're late, mates!” Two puzzled pairs of eyes were staring at him, but they weren't Roland’s nor Robin’s.
“This is a terrible idea.” Emma sighed while Henry enthusiastically exclaimed, “Killian, you're home, great!”
Killian was a bit taken aback by the unexpected visit and he didn't know how to react. Before he could say anything Emma went on, “I'm so sorry, we shouldn't have come.”
She was already turning away when Killian stopped her with a gentle touch on her arm. “Well, now that you're here, why don't you come in?”
Emma reluctantly entered the house followed by her delighted son, but when Killian was about to close the door, a shoe between it and the frame stopped him. “It’s bad form to close the door on someone’s face, mate!” Robin appeared in Killian’s sight, mocking his friend imitating his way of speech. “I didn't know you were having guests.” The surprise on Robin’s face was apparent as soon as he spied the other people inside Killian’s living room.
“Uh…” Killian was a bit lost for words and he lifted a hand to scratch a spot behind his right ear, a habit he had when feeling uncomfortable. “Robin, this is Emma Swan; Emma, meet my best friend Robin of Locksley.”
Roland ran inside the house. “Hi!” he exclaimed with a big dimpled grin.
“...and this is Robin’s lad, Roland,” Killian added.
“Nice to meet you. I'm Henry, Killian’s son.” Henry extended a hand to shake with the other boy.
Killian sighed and shook slightly his head towards a baffled Robin, who was staring at him with wide-open eyes. He hoped that his friend wouldn’t ask. “Why don't we all get comfortable?” He suggested and then turned to his guests, “we were about to watch the fillglow match. We would be happy if you join us.”
Robin took a seat at one end of the couch, Killian was in the middle and Emma took the other end, leaving as much distance between them as possible. She was wearing a beige blouse with metallic colored sleeves, and a loose keen-short matching skirt, with long light brown leather boots. At first glance, it might seem like a casual choice of clothing, but the ensemble was in harmony. Killian would take a peek at her from time to time while she wasn't looking, and it struck him how beautiful she was.
Roland and Henry sat together on the double footstool in the middle of the room, with a big pop grains bowl in the middle. “What's your favorite fillglow team?” Roland asked.
“I'm not really into it,” was Henry’s answer.
Roland was surprised. “You do know the rules, don’t you?”
“I’ve never been a big fan of sports in general.”
Killian decided to help the boy and started explaining, “Well, it’s quite simple. Two teams, six players each. The goal is to score into the other team’s round target until it lights up.”
“What’s difficult is that they play in no gravitational environment. So they are a bit limited in their movements. Plus their suits are heavier than they seem.” Robin added.
“You have to block opponents using a laser stick, but you can’t hit the adversary wherever you like - you’re allowed to hit only certain spots of the other’s suit.” Killian went on, “when you touch someone with your stick on one of those spots, this person gets paralyzed for a few seconds. The more difficult the place you hit, the more time your opponent stays immobile. The belly usually gives you the most time stuck.”
“But if you touch someone where you’re not allowed to, you get stuck for six seconds,” Robin added.
“If you get to touch the other team’s target with your stick, it will start glowing, but you are not allowed to score again before other players touch it,” said Killian. “You need 27 scores to make the target glow completely, or better said, to fillglow it. And that’s when the match ends.”
“You may think it’s easy, but it’s not,” Roland said excitedly. “You know, I went to a fillglow stadium once with daddy and uncle Kil. I could enter the field, but with the heavy suit it took me almost 20 minutes to reach the other team’s target, and I was alone, with no opponents to block me. It’s strange because you’re floating in the air, so you can’t walk. It’s almost like swimming, but more difficult.”
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~·~·~·~
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After the fourteenth point of the opposite team, the commercials started and Killian took a handful of pop grains from the main bowl near the kids.
“Why are you always wearing a glove on your left hand?” Henry asked.
“Uncle Kil has got a bionic hand,” Roland explained.
“Can I see it?” Asked Henry with curiosity.
“Henry!” Emma scolded, but Killian dismissed it with a wave of his right hand. “It's alright,” he said and removed the glove to reveal a transparent synthetic hand full of cables inside.
“Cool!” Henry exclaimed. “Did you make it?”
“No, lad. I bought it.”
“But he changed it way better,” Roland added.
Killian chuckled, “I just improved it to achieve some more movement.”
“Now it's almost the same as a real hand.” Roland was clearly proud of his uncle’s job with the prosthesis.
Henry put his hand on it. “Do you feel it?”
“I'm sorry, I can't,” was Killian’s gentle answer, and when Henry retracted his hand a bit disappointed, he went on, “but I can do this.” He took a big star-shaped pop grain and showed it to Henry with his bionic hand, then he closed it into a fist and turned it upside down; when he opened it again the grain had disappeared.
“Wow!” The kid was impressed. “Would you teach me to do it?”
Killian put the glove on the hand again. “Maybe, someday.”
When the boy asked, “why do you keep it covered?” his mother coughed to draw his attention and stared at him with a reproaching look. But Henry didn’t relent. “Mom, don't you think it's impressive?” He asked enthusiastically.
Killian smiled at Emma, trying to relieve her clear embarrassment. “Indeed it is, yes,” she sheepishly smiled back at him.
Henry asked, “How did you lose your hand?” Emma sighed but before she could scold her son again for making so many private questions, Killian said, "Well that, lad, is a story for another night."
“Killian is right.” Robin stepped in. “It's time to go to bed, Roland.”
“Oh no!” The little kid complained. “The match is not over yet.”
“And you know perfectly well that it can go on for ages because it doesn’t have a time limit,” his father reasoned.
Roland looked up at him with big pleading eyes. “Can I at least show Henry my room before going to sleep?”
Robin sighed but gave in. “Ok. But don't be long.”
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~·~·~·~
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Emma looked concerned when the boys disappeared out the front door. “No need to worry,” Killian said. “Robin lives just next door.”
“How did you two come to know each other?” Robin asked while the three of them were moving to sit at the table, and Killian was handing them some cups filled with a liquid a bit stronger than berry juice.
“Uh… we met many years ago.”
Killian exchanged a questioning glance with Emma. He didn’t know how much of their story she was willing to share. But apparently, the silent communication didn’t go unnoticed to Robin, who, clearly remembering where he had already heard her name, asked Killian, “Is she the Emma?” But then he immediately turned towards the woman, “I beg your pardon.” He said apologetically. “I’m not used to being in front of a Princess.”
“Please, don’t call me that, especially not in front of my son. He doesn’t know the whole story.”
Robin nodded. “I had that impression. And I’m confident he is not actually Killian’s son, right?”
Killian half-smiled at his friend in assent, then he turned to Emma, “Henry seems to be a clever lad. How long do you think you can hide his past?”
Emma sighed. “I hate keeping things from him, but it’s safer this way.”
“Is he right?” Killian insisted. “Is there truly someone that could represent a danger for both of you?”
She didn’t reply, she lowered her stare and fixed it into a specific spot on the table. “Not an immediate danger, no. But maybe in the future... yes. That man that Henry thinks I’m afraid of, he’s my contact; maybe not the sweetest person in the galaxy, but he’s reliable. He told me there will be raids soon in my neighborhood. That’s why we came here tonight. I hoped you could give us some advice. You’re a trader, aren't you? You should know a lot of people, maybe, influential people.”
“Does anybody know you are here?” Killian inquired.
“I didn’t choose my job by coincidence. If I'm good at finding hidden people, it means I know exactly what to do when I don’t want to be found.”
“Who’s after you?” Killian went straight to the point.
Emma seemed to ponder the question for a few seconds, then said, “not me, Henry.” After a small pause, she went on, “the King and Queen of New-Tolemac are still in need of an heir.”
“Do you think your parents will harm the boy?” He asked inquisitively.
“They are not my parents.” Killian and Robin shared a surprised look, but Emma kept her gaze fixed in her cup; she didn't seem inclined in giving more details, and Killian knew it was neither the time nor the place to pry. But then she added in a whisper “...I can’t lose Henry. He’s all I have.”
Killian studied the woman in front of him, there was no trace of the pompous arrogance he saw in her when they first met. She was now a mother, a tough one, fighting her demons for his son’s sake.
“I have to go away for a few weeks, I have a commercial trade to make for a client. Why don’t you and your boy come with me? I’m not going very far, and maybe you can consider it as a holiday. What do you say?” He suggested.
“Henry would love it, he’s never been on a spaceship.” She smiled to herself, her gaze lost in thought, then she lifted her eyes to find Killian’s “Thank you,” she said serious, “but I can't answer right now. I'll think about it.”
“Ok, guys, while I enjoy the company, I have to put Roland to sleep.” Robin stood up and took his cup to the little sink in the corner.
“Yeah, sure, I’ve already taken up so much of your time.” Emma stood up as well and started moving towards the door.
“Stay. Just for the night... or more.” Killian was stammering, but at Emma’s bewildered look, he scratched behind his ear for the second time that night, a bright red colored his cheeks “...I… I didn’t mean…”
“What my friend is so awkwardly trying to say,” Robin explained, “is that it’s already late, and it could be dangerous for you and your son to go back to your place by yourselves, especially if those rumors of raids are true. If you want, Henry could sleep with Roland, you could stay in my room and I will crash on Killian’s couch. You won't hear any complaints from us.”
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~·~·~·~
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The Jolly Roger wasn't the biggest spaceship in the multiverse, but it was big enough to host a small crew and a little cargo.
In the middle of the main entrance, there was a round table with four chairs, everything well secured to the floor. A lot of lockers filled up the walls and a counter opposite the gate served as a kitchen, with a microwave, a little fridge, and a sink.
A big electric sliding door on the right, usually open, led to the main cabin. A semi-oval room mainly occupied by the control dashboard full of buttons, LEDs, and levers, two comfortable leather armchairs in front of it, and walls as well rich of small lockers when not occupied by the big curved window.
On the other side of the entrance, opposite the control cabin, there were a couple of automatic doors. One of them led to the passengers’ cabins, each one with bunk beds, a small desk, and more lockers on the walls. The other door led to a hallway and a little but all equipped restroom.
In the hallway, a metal spiral staircase led to the under part of the ship, which consisted mostly of the engine room and a storage room with its own gate used for loading the cargo.
Killian was sitting in front of the control dashboard, checking the air pressure inside the cabin, and verifying that all the levels were stable.
The last four days had been different, with Emma and Henry at Robin’s house, the routine had been turned a bit upside down. They had decided that going back to their house wasn’t safe. Henry had been occupied with school and homework most of the time and he had spent the rest of it with Roland; the two of them had connected quite well, despite the age gap.
Emma had been concentrated on her job, and although Killian would have liked to give her a hand whenever he could, she hadn’t even let him help her when she brought some of hers and Henry’s belongings from home to her new lodging.
Dinners together had been sometimes awkward, and Killian had had the feeling that she was trying to avoid him. That’s why he had been surprised when she abruptly accepted to go with him on his next trip.
And now he was sitting in his spaceship cabin waiting for her and her son to come. Everything was ready for takeoff and the engine was already roaring. A red LED on the dashboard started to blink and a cold metallic voice was heard through the cabin.
I detect intruders on this ship.
Killian smiled. “They are not intruders. They are guests, so be gentle.”
Emma entered the cabin carrying a small suitcase. “Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.” She said looking around, but when she didn’t find what she was looking for, she added “Uh… I thought I heard voices. To whom were you talking?”
Killian stood up from his seat “Where are my manners? Emma Swan, let me introduce you to the Jolly Roger.”
She lifted her eyebrows. “The Jolly Roger. Seriously?”
“What can I say? I have a soft spot for pirates.” He smiled.
The metallic voice spoke: It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan.
“Your ship speaks!” Emma was astonished.
“Indeed she does. She's a marvel.” He explained with a big grin.
A sound like a soft metallic cough could be heard, and Killian couldn't help giggling.
“Well... then, nice to meet you, too.” She said to the air, and then looking at Killian again: “Where can I put our bags?”
“Right. I'll show you your cabin and the rest of this place.” He said, and then with an overdramatic bow and a wink added: “Consider yourself at home.”
Emma rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile.
Another soft cough could be heard.
“Are you sure your ship is fine?” She asked, perplexed. “It sounds a bit congested.”
“Don't worry about her, she can be a bit of an arse with strangers. But give her some time and she will grow fond of you.” At those words, the red LED suddenly stopped blinking and went off. Killian shook his head and chuckled.
As soon as he was sure that Emma and Henry were well settled in their cabin, Killian came back to the controls and took off. When the ship was out of Althea-Seals’ atmosphere he sighed in relief because everything had gone as planned, but he knew that he couldn’t relax until he’d reached a certain distance.
The red LED started blinking again. Would you do me the favor and stop referring to me as a female?
“You're a spaceship,” Killian answered the voice.
Exactly my point. And you and I both know I'm not only that.
Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."
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Rating: M
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Prologue
AO3
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A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this.
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Chapter 1.
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How many loved
Your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty
With love false or true;
But one man loved
The pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows
Of your changing face.
(W. B. Yeats)
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Ten years later.
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It was a warm late evening. Killian was at home dedicating his time to his most precious love: his spaceship.
He had traveled the multiverse for ten long years. He and his friend Robin had left New Tolemac a couple of days after Killian's encounter with the Princess on the shore. They had spent four years away with one thrilling adventure after another, with no worries on their minds, and it had been liberating.
One day they had landed on Althea-Seals, a quiet planet, always dry and warm with no differences between seasons. Neither seas nor woods, but never-ending yellow sand and rocks all over the surface.
It wasn't a place full of opportunities to become rich and famous, but they weren’t looking for that. It was a planet inhabited by a mix of people from the four corners of the universe. And most of them went about their own business, accepting anyone who wanted to enter without asking too many questions.
Althea-Seals was big enough to hold a couple of large cities and some small villages around them. Places were called using numbers, starting with the two biggest cities named I and II. They had decided to stay in a village called VI, mostly a bunch of houses dug in the light yellow rock of the hill that dominated the south-west of II.
Robin had opened a tavern and had started to settle down. He had met a beautiful girl, Marian, and soon fallen head over heels in love with her. Luckily the feeling was mutual.
Killian had become a supplier, flying back and forth from Althea-Seals, transporting goods in his ship to other planets, or procuring exotic items for his clients. His need to explore every possible universe had never abandoned him.
But he had always come back: He had come back for his friends’ wedding, he had come back when their son Roland had been born, he had come back when Robin's wife had died after a severe illness... and that was when he had finally decided to stay more present in his mate's life, to help the other raising the little kid.
So his trips had become less frequent, and when he had to go, he had tried to stay away no more than a couple of months at a time, always bringing back some curious toy or gadget for little Roland. The kid loved the stories of the journeys, trying to imagine the different places that uncle Kil had visited.
The three of them lived next to each other, two apartments separated by a wall. Killian's was the smaller one: a living room with an open kitchen, one bedroom, and a bathroom, but actually, he didn't need more space. Robin's apartment was the same, with the addition of another bedroom.
It had been a few months since his last trip and Killian was feeling a bit restless. He had parts of his ship’s engine scattered on his living room table. There wasn't an actual problem with them, but the last time he had gone on a journey he had heard some noises he hadn’t liked. So he was cleaning some pieces: Better be sure.
A knock on the door distracted him from his thoughts. When he opened it he didn’t see anyone at first, but then he lowered his gaze and a brown mop of hair came into his field of vision. “Uh... can I help you?” He asked the young boy that came with it.
“Are you Killian Jones?” The boy asked back with curious eyes.
Killian studied the person in front of him. He was probably nine or ten years old, skinny, freckled face, eyes the same color as his hair; he was wearing casual non-branded clothes, with a grey and red scarf and a backpack hanging from one of his shoulders.
The man didn’t detect any threat, so he decided to answer honestly. “The very same one. And you are...?”
“My name is Henry. I'm your son.” He announced with a bright smile.
Killian thought he didn’t hear correctly. “I beg your pardon?" But when the boy just stared at him back with a big grin, Killian felt the need to clarify "I'm pretty sure I don't have a son, lad.” At those words, the boy ran into the house without permission.
“Hey! Where are you going?”
“What's this?” Henry asked, pointing at all the pieces on the table. “Are you a mechanic?” He seemed to be full of questions but less inclined to answer ones.
“No, I'm not,” Killian replied patiently. “These are parts of my ship's engine that need to be fixed.”
“You have a spaceship! Cool!” Enthusiasm was something quite evident in this young man. “I knew you were the only one who can save my mom.”
That was enough. “Save? From what?" Killian was starting to lose his patience. Who was this kid, and why was he in his house? “And who exactly did you say your mother is?”
“I didn't say it.” Henry shrugged.
“Does she know you are here?”
“Nope.”
“I should probably bring you back home.” Killian kept his door open to invite the unexpected guest to follow him. It was getting dark outside.
“Are you going to help us?” The boy asked with a hopeful look while going out.
Killian didn’t want to disappoint the lad, but he needed more information before deciding anything he could regret later. “Well, that depends. Maybe your mother doesn't want to be helped. Come on, let's get going, you'll explain what you need my assistance for while walking.”
They kept a good jog for quite a few minutes in silence until they reached the borders of the village. Darkness was already surrounding them, and Killian wondered if the boy had spent the whole day searching for him.
Henry headed towards a suburban district of II, one of the poorest neighborhoods in the city.
Killian was expecting the lad to start explaining his story, but when it didn’t happen, he decided on a different approach. “What's in the backpack?” He asked.
“Just my stuff.” The boy was being evasive.
"You mean your school stuff. Did you skip your classes to come to find me?" He inquired.
"Maybe. Are you going to tell my mother?" He asked, but he didn't wait for an actual answer and went on. "It doesn't mind. She will figure it out eventually. It's impossible to lie to her."
"Mothers tend to have the ability to find out the truth," Killian said with a soft smile on his lips.
"No. I mean, she has this superpower, you know? She can detect a lie from a million miles away."
"Can she?” He asked, but he wasn’t surprised, he had seen many strange things during his trips, so why not someone with an ability to find out the truth. “A useful skill, indeed."
The boy went silent for a while. He was chewing his bottom lip, a gesture that reminded Killian of something or someone, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Then the boy spoke again. “There’s this bad guy. I saw him talking to my mom. I know she is afraid of him, even if she tells me I don’t have to worry about him.” He went on walking and then added: “She works so hard to give me a normal life. I want to help her, but I don't know how. That’s why I came to you. Maybe you can help us.”
“What does she do for a living?” Killian was still trying to understand the whole story, and if he really had something to do with it, or if the boy was wrong. But of one thing he was sure: He did not have a son.
“She finds people.”
“Come again?” That was unexpected.
“You need to find someone? She finds this person for you. She’s pretty good at it.” The lad explained.
“What if someone doesn't want to be found?”
“Well, those are the best rewarded, the most difficult ones. Sometimes she spends months going after someone, and then... Bang! She finds a good lead! She has those devices, you know.”
“Devices?” Killian asked.
“Yes. You can search for names, or birth dates, or relatives, and many other keywords. Mom says I shouldn’t touch those things, but...”
“Is that how you found me? Did you use your mother’s devices?”
The boy didn’t answer but he seemed frankly contrite. Then he stopped in front of an old decrepit building carved in the yellow rock and Killian sensed that it might be the kid’s house.
A dusty light bulb spread dim shadows throughout the entrance, Henry climbed the stairs two by two and Killian followed him up to the fourth floor where the boy reached a door with no numbers on it, exactly equal to the other doors on the landing. The perfect kind of place where you hide if you want to go unnoticed, Killian thought. Maybe the lad was right and his mother needed some help indeed. What trouble am I getting into? He saw the boy taking a deep breath before grabbing the handle of the door to open it with resolve.
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***
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Killian stood in the door frame watching the scene in front of him. The kid had run inside the house leaving the backpack on the floor next to the door, and was now in the middle of the small living room, enveloped by his mother's arms, who had bent down to hug him and was caressing and kissing his head.
Killian scanned the room, which seemed to be the whole apartment: a table surrounded by a couple of old armchairs and two mismatched chairs, a kitchenette on the right, and a bunk bed on the left. The bathroom was probably in common with the rest of the apartments on the same floor. Killian didn’t expect a luxury hotel suite, but this, well, this was miserable.
"Henry!" She sobbed.
As soon as he heard her voice, Killian instantly steered his gaze to the woman kneeled in front of her son. He could see that her eyes were slightly red and a bit swollen as if she had been crying for some time.
She was older than he remembered, but alas 10 years had passed for her as well. She wasn't the fragile girl anymore, but a beautiful grown-up woman. Her hair was shorter, wavier, and a bit darker than the last time he saw her. Killian couldn't believe his eyes, but the very Princess of New Tolemac was now in front of him, in one of the poorest rock houses of the planet.
“Mom!” The lad started to speak, but his mother interrupted him.
“Henry, are you alright? Oh my God! I was so scared! Where have you been? You know what? It doesn't matter.” She was rambling without pause, kissing her son’s forehead. “What's important is that you're home again and you're fine!” Then she looked at Henry seriously: “You are, right?”
“Yes, yes, I'm ok,” Henry reassured her. “Mom, I've found him!” He exclaimed enthusiastically.
“Who?” She asked, a little perplexed.
“My father! I've found my father!” The boy explained.
“Uh…” She seemed to be out of words, and if Killian was good at reading her, the look in her eyes was one of concern. Then she looked up and her eyes found the man standing at her door. The concern was gone in one second, and her eyes widened in disbelief. She opened her mouth but no word came out.
“Mom, this is Killian Jones. Killian, this is my mom, Emma Swan.” Henry introduced.
Emma Swan. Killian repeated in his mind. The surname didn’t ring any bells. She had probably changed it during the years. That, the place where she was living, and the fact that Henry admitted she needed help, gave him the chills. Something was wrong, so very wrong. But he decided to keep those thoughts to himself.
“It's nice to see you again, Emma.” He smiled.
“Of course, you two already know each other. I mean. I exist, so…” Henry giggled.
“Seriously kid?” She inquired incredulously at her son, with a slight red blush on her cheeks.
But Henry was already distracted by something on the square table behind him “Dinner! I'm starving.” He said joyfully.
This seemed to wake her up from her trance and she stood up from her previous position. “Wash your hands before sitting at the table.” She warned while the boy was already discarding his scarf and jacket over one of the armchairs.
Killian could recognize the authoritarian tone of the Princess he once knew and a smile appeared on his lips. Then she turned towards him and with no words, she approached him and put a couple of fingers on his chest, softly pushing him out of the house. He complied.
When they both were outside, she almost closed the door behind her. She wasn't looking at him, she seemed more interested in her shoes. “I'm sorry for all the problems Henry may have caused. If there's anything I can do for you…”
But Killian dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “No problem.”
“Thank you for bringing him home.” Her tone was genuinely thankful.
“It was the right thing to do.” And when she didn't reply he felt it was the moment to say goodbye.
He started stepping back but suddenly stopped and turned around facing her again. “Uh... now that I think about it. There is a thing you could do for me.” He tilted his head arching an inquiring eyebrow “I have one question” he said, emphasizing his words lifting one of his fingers “why does your boy believe that I'm his father?”
At those words, she lifted her gaze to look straight into his eyes.
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