my journal

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Found objects. Broken logic. Accidental meaning. Dadaism survives wherever the image laughs back.

OnlyFangirling | Deep Dives, Stories & Creative Obsessions

An experimental art space exploring Dadaism, absurdism, and surrealism through visual fragments, poetic logic, and intentional disruption. A

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I’m an independent artist and writer and I’m excited to share a small collection of four high-resolution iPhone wallpapers inspired by The Milk of Asterion.

Each wallpaper is 1080 × 1920 px and designed to bring a little fantasy into your daily phone use.

Supporting me by downloading this pack helps me continue creating new art, developing my projects, and sharing more wallpapers in the future.

📱 Instant download on Gumroad! https://redheadredemption.gumroad.com/l/dxffbg

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This is it. No one can stop me now. If you enjoy slightly unhinged humor and wearable inner monologue energy, go have a look at the blog. You might find something that speaks to your soul. Or at least mildly concerns your friends. Curated with late-night fever, zero chill & way too much coffee. New emotional soundtracks & literary deep dives every week → onlyfangirling.com ✨ Come feel everything.

OnlyFangirling | Deep Dives, Stories & Creative Obsessions

OnlyFangirling | Literary Deep Dives, Philosophy, Tech, Creative Writing & Contemporary Essays

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✨ The Shrimp in the Egg — a playlist for storm-born devotion ✨

Okay but hear me out…

That’s this whole playlist. Feral little heartbeats, that first electric rush, the kind of intensity that makes your chest actually hurt (in the best way). It’s raw, it’s messy, it’s the soundtrack to every “I shouldn’t but I can’t stop” feeling. 🌩️🎧

Go on, press play and let it ruin you in the most delicious way:

Made this one with way too much late-night staring at the ceiling and zero chill.

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After romance, I returned to simmering plots and listening minds.

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Back from a tender weekend away, I returned to the kitchen where my speculative stories simmered like late-night broth. Everything is steady, yet I keep a quiet Plan B of necromancy for the imagination.

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Everything feels steady for now, yet I keep a Plan B alive in the shadows, a little necromancy for the imagination should the plot need reviving.

Plan B

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Fornicum is an anthology series in which each episode tells a different tale touching upon the intricacies of our warped reality.

OnlyFangirling | Deep Dives, Stories & Creative Obsessions

OnlyFangirling | Literary Deep Dives, Philosophy, Tech, Creative Writing & Contemporary Essays

[horror-orman]

📼 Notable January 31st releases...

Phenomena (1985)(Italy).

#DarioArgento

Shock 'Em Dead (1991)(video premiere).

#TraciLords

Ringu (1998)(Japan).

#リング

Final Destination 2 (2003)(US & Canada).

#horror

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[sivadsucram]

[unfxded]

⠀

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[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

The Crow (1994) dir. Alex Proyas

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What If Music Theory Wasn't Rules, But Space?

Music theory often feels like a secret language. Not because it’s complicated, but because of how it’s taught: abstract names, forbidden steps, correct progressions. It feels like you need a degree before you’re allowed to play. That’s where many people give up. Not because they lack musicality, but because the barrier feels too high.

This project began in 2019 while I was home sick, searching for a way to learn piano without drowning in sheet music I’d long forgotten. The answer wasn’t more rules. It was geometry.

The 12-Point Universe To navigate any landscape, you need a map. The piano has 88 keys, but its core is just 12 unique tones that constantly repeat. Every 12 semitones (one octave), the pattern starts again.

Think of this 12-point system as a clock. C is point 0, C# is point 1, D is point 2, and so on to B at point 11. Then the circle begins again at C. This turns infinite complexity into a finite, cyclical map.

All Cs on the piano belong to point 0 on the circle. All C#s belong to point 1. Every note has its fixed position in the cycle.

The Circle is DNA Playing a chord means simultaneously activating three points on the circle. Connect those three points and you see a triangle with three elements: The corners are the notes themselves (0, 4, 7) The sides show the intervals (4, 3, and 5 semitones) The shape as a whole is the chord’s architecture

Playing on the piano makes that architecture physical. The circle shows which notes belong together. Your hand builds that connection.

Not All Triangles Sound Equal Every chord with n notes creates an n-sided polygon in the circle. Three notes make a triangle, four make a quadrilateral, five make a pentagon. But geometry doesn’t decide whether something is a chord. It determines how it sounds.

Symmetrical shapes (augmented, diminished) float without a clear center. Balanced shapes (major, minor) feel stable and consonant. Irregular shapes (clusters, half-diminished) create tension and dissonance.

Rotation Becomes Transposition Here’s where it gets practical. When you rotate a triangle on the circle, you simply shift your hand left or right on the piano. Because the shape stays identical, your hand’s grip stays identical too.

C major exists at points 0, 4, 7. Rotate the entire triangle two steps right. Each point shifts by 2: point 0 becomes 2, point 4 becomes 6, point 7 becomes 9. This gives you D major (2, 6, 9). The sides remain 4, 3, 5. Only the position changed.

On the piano, your hand was on C-E-G. Now it’s on D-F#-A. You’ve shifted two keys to the right, but the distance between your fingers stays exactly the same. Thumb to middle finger is still four semitones, middle finger to pinky still three.

This means you only need to learn one shape for all 12 major chords. Once your fingers remember the 4-3-5 tension, you can place that shape anywhere on the keyboard.

Your Hand Feels the Geometry This geometry lives in your fingers, not just your head. Place your hand in C major (C-E-G) and feel the tension. Thumb to middle finger forms a wide grip, middle finger to pinky a narrower one. This physical tension translates the triangle’s sides into your hand.

Because the shape stays constant, you only need to learn one grip for all 12 major chords. Your fingers remember the distances. You only choose the starting point.

The Pivot Rule: Walking Through Harmony Instead of memorizing progressions, you navigate space using the pivot rule. Hold one or two notes from your current chord as anchors while moving the remaining voices just one or two semitones.

Music theorists call this parsimonious voice leading. You can visualize it using the Tonnetz, a 2D grid where harmonically close chords appear as neighboring triangles. C major and A minor sit side by side because they share two notes. Moving between them is like flipping a triangle over one of its shared edges.

This minimal motion technique powers much film music. Composers like Hans Zimmer and John Williams create massive emotional shifts that feel organic because individual voices barely move. The geometry does the work.

From Linear to Cyclical Without the circle, the piano is a linear row of keys with names attached. The circle makes harmony cyclical. You walk in loops, choosing different routes and returning where you began.

Built on Classical Foundations This approach rests on centuries-old foundations. Pitch class set theory (using numbers 0 through 11 for tones) is standard in conservatories. The circle of fifths organizes the same 12 tones by fifths instead of semitones. And Euler drew chords as triangles in his Tonnetz back in 1739.

What’s new is the translation into a directly playable piano system. You don’t learn the circle to memorize rules. You learn it to feel proximity and navigate harmony like a landscape.

Next in this series: recognizing chord shapes without memorizing their names.

OnlyFangirling | Deep Dives, Stories & Creative Obsessions

An accessible introduction to a new way of understanding music theory through spatial thinking, piano shapes, and intuitive harmony instead

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The Case for Tracking Her Cycle

Most men are functionally ignorant about the menstrual cycle. That is not entirely their fault. For much of history, and still for many women today, menstruation was treated as something shameful, something to hide from men altogether.

That silence produced euphemisms that were meant to soften discomfort. “Riding the red dragon.” “The communists are in the funhouse.” Humorous on the surface, but rooted in avoidance. In some cultures it also led to women being considered untouchable during their period, or even isolated. Protection and punishment wrapped into one.

That history matters, because it explains why so little real information circulates inside relationships. And it is exactly why I think it is worth breaking that silence, starting between partners.

It helped me. That is why I am sharing this.

What most men end up with is secondhand knowledge. Fragments from sisters or mothers. Inconsistent education, if any. The result is a blunt binary. She is on her period or she is not. That framing misses almost everything that matters.

The menstrual cycle is not an event. It is a rhythm that unfolds over roughly 28 to 35 days, with distinct phases that shape energy, mood, cognition, pain sensitivity, and stress tolerance.

So should you track your girlfriend’s cycle? Yes. Not to monitor or control. Absolutely not. But to align yourself with her lived reality. Done well, it provides context before misinterpretation sets in. For my partner, it replaced guessing with understanding.

This is not a rigid law, and it is certainly not just about bleeding.

As mentioned the period isn’t a binary state. The cycle has four distinct states or better said phases. Menstruation. Follicular. Ovulation. Luteal. Hormones rise and fall across these phases, affecting the body in countless ways.

Menstruation marks the reset. Energy is often low, the body turns inward, and rest becomes essential. Pain sensitivity can be higher. This is not a failure state. It is recovery.

As menstruation ends, the follicular phase begins. During the follicular phase, estrogen climbs. Many women feel sharper, stronger, more outward facing. Focus improves. Social tolerance increases. There is often a sense of momentum returning.

Ovulation follows. Estrogen peaks and testosterone rises. Libido often increases. Confidence and motivation tend to be higher. This is a fertile phase in every sense. Creative projects, plans, and new initiatives often feel easier here. This is a phase of expansion, connection, and creativity.

I usually write four new book drafts during this phase. Life is great.

Then comes the luteal phase. After ovulation, hormones drop and progesterone dominates. During the luteal phase, body temperature rises, breasts may feel sore, and PMS can bring irritability or withdrawal. This is the dark period. Happy hormones are depleted. Life is tough, inconveniences are tougher. Once the bleeding starts, it’s upward again. None of this is random. When you understand the pattern, you stop reacting to symptoms and start responding to causes.

The luteal phase is my killer. I lose the will to live. It is a brutal dip. It took a few cycles for my partner to catch up, but once he did, everything eased. Knowing that he understands why this happens to me makes it bearable.

Then we bleed and start anew.

For me, the point is empathy, not diagnosis. Tracking gives my partner context, not authority. He does not pretend to know what it feels like. He leads with curiosity rather than explanation.

Practical support matters more than words. A heating pad helps with cramps and lower back pain. Dark chocolate helps too. But what matters most are the small gestures throughout the cycle, not only when symptoms are most visible.

Asking if someone is on their period during an argument is a fast way to lose trust. Knowing which phase someone is in does not invalidate their feelings. Ask how you can help. Listen without fixing. Never compare her symptoms to another woman’s experience. Because all bodies differ and no experience is the same.

The bottom line

Shared information changes dynamics. I know it did in my relationship. There is relief in knowing that someone is aware of your inner weather. A low day stops being personal and starts being physiological. The cycle shifts from a monthly disruption into a shared rhythm we navigate together.

Talk about it. Use an app if she’s open to it. Pay attention. And keep the dark chocolate ready when the cycle comes full circle.

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