probably no.

sven ruud, 26, mist. norwegian bartender & teacher.

[svenruud]

misselladevereaux:

❝ You haven’t?! And we dated?! Man, I was a shit girlfriend. Laser tag is everything! Okay okay it’s easy. You just shoot at their vests and try not to get shot yourself. No impact. But, you have to have a badass nickname. ❞

“Well, I think we tried to go several times, but something always came up. For either both or one of us. I think that was mostly me, actually... And you know, it wasn’t really a thing in Norway so I wasn’t too interested. --- A badass nickname? Like what? What’s yours?”

[svenruud]

ZIVA → SVEN

Ziva: yoga is too slow. i prefer krav maga.

Ziva: but will you??? you are like yoga. too slow.

Ziva: you have not tried?? i thought every one in the states 'experimented' in college?

Ziva: i thought I was late in kissing a girl at 20. you win.

Sven: That some sort of fighting technique?

Sven: Will what, date someone? I don't know. If I meet someone maybe.

Sven: I mean I've kissed a guy, of course. I've played a gay character too, but I've never done anything sexual with a guy. And they all probably have, but I went to school in Norway.

[svenruud]

talulahwxng:

“You’re an immigrant, you’re forgiven.” She teased.  “But honestly?  I’d so much rather do that, than have to dress up, with all the pomp and circumstance and shit.  There’s just so much pressure for it to be perfect.  And when it’s not it’s just such a fucking bummer, you know?  Gimme one of those shows with the stupid videos of people doing stupid shit and some chicken wings and I’d be happy.”  She commented in agreement to his sentiment.  — “I don’t know you just got like…A nobel vibe about you?  I don’t know, is that even the right word?  Like you look like you have Italian leather shoes, y’know?  And you take care of them.”  She finished.  “I don’t know.  Although, to be fair, when it comes to food I am a bit of a food slut.  Like gimme a real good plate of something and you could be Guy Fieri, you might get some.  So better watch out tonight, alright?  Don’t let me near anything with truffles in it.  That’s my shit.” She laughed.  “No I’m definitely an old man.  There’s just something so grumpily adorable about old men.  Always whining about their creaks and cracks.  But of course it’s not but, for now it’s my reality.  I sound like a haunted house.  Moans and groans and all when I have to get up off the floor after stretching.” She added matter of factly.  “So if you need someone to help out with handing out candy next Halloween I’m your girl.”

"Definitely is too much expectation around the day. Yeah, plus you don't have to leave your home - which is pretty great considering everywhere you go you're almost destined to meet some love sick couple giggling to death or sticking their tongue down each other's throat. The best - if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend that day - is to start the day with a run together and then hit the shower once you get home and do that together too. Then you walk around in chill clothes all day. Or no clothes," he added with a light shrug and a grin. "Noble? I am going to take that compliment and save it for a day I'm feeling down. Thanks, Lu. I don't have Italian shoes though. I think. Actually I don't know where they're from," he wondered, throwing glances down at the black shoes he was currently wearing. He had to admit most of his more formal clothes were of the more pricey type so maybe his shoes actually were from Italy. "Who's Guy Fieri? Never mind. Bribing you with food is actually the easiest thing in the world, that is true. I'm pretty sure I did tell you I would never exploit that knowledge though, so don't worry, friend. No truffles? I hear you say that now, but if you find some later I doubt you will let me stop you." He chuckled, very certain that no matter what he said it didn't help if she had decided she wanted truffles. "That is very true. My grandpa hated all the kids in his neighborhood and eventually everyone skipped his house on Halloween and when they tried to sell stuff to earn money for their sports team. What an idiot. --- You, on the other hand, might be an old man, but you're much nicer. And of course I'll call you on Halloween, I'd love to get your creaky help. The kids would wet their pants."

[svenruud]

ZIVA → SVEN

Ziva: studies show that sexual people are in better health

Ziva: i am simply looking out for you

Ziva: well i do know you like women i have first hand experience but i was not sure if perhaps you like other things as well

Sven: I know, Ziva. I know. But I am not sexually active right now. I do work out to stay in shape and have better health, and I've also tried yoga. Very relaxing, you should try.

Sven: And thank you, but I don't want a prostitute. I can date someone.

Sven: As far as I know I only like women, but that's all I have any experience with.

[svenruud]

ZIVA → SVEN

Ziva: would you like me to hire you a prostitute?

Ziva: i would not mind. i do know a few.

Ziva: do you prefer male or female?

Sven: NO! Oh my God, I do not want you to hire me a prostitute, what the fuck?

Sven: Ziva, thank you for your concern about my sex life, though I don't get why that's interesting to you, but I'll be fine. Don't hire me a prostitute.

Sven: And for the record I prefer women.

[svenruud]

ZIVA → SVEN

Ziva: its a moot point now.

Ziva: well have you??? besides you can never be laid too much

Sven: Well... no. I haven't.

Sven: It's not a big deal. Just a year ago.

[svenruud]

ZIVA → SVEN

Ziva: that statement is false considering that is exactly what i did

Ziva: then why have you not BEEN laid?

Sven: Obviously you can, but you shouldn't. You should ask them if they want to participate in things like that.

Sven: How do you know whether I've gotten laid or not??

[misselladevereaux-blog]

❝ Hey, my team is missing a member for the laser tag tournament tonight, could you help us out? ❞

[svenruud]

“A laser tag tournament? Well, um. Sure. I haven’t tried it before, but it can’t be that complicated?”

[svenruud]

talulahwxng:

“Uhm, no that’s Galentine’s Day, Sven.  February 13th.  The day to hang out with your friends and either forget about your significant others or just pretend they don’t exist while you brunch.  But Valentine’s day is strictly for moping or fucking.  Y’know depending on your relationship status.”  Pausing, she shrugged before fessing up.  “I don’t know, I’ve never been much of a Valentine’s Day sort of gal.  Even if when I was in some semblance of a relationship.  Just not my thing, I guess.”  She shrugged once more, her hands plunging in her pockets to keep away the cold.  “And don’t you think about picking up the bill.  I know you’re a professor and you’re loaded and all but…Well I don’t want you to get the wrong idea..” She teased, knowing Sven was definitely not the sort of guy to expect sex just because he payed.  “Nah, nah, it’s good for me.  Give the ole’ legs a stretch.  God, I feel like such an old man.” She complained.  “I mean, did you know my knee creaks, now?  Like, honestly.  I’ll show it to you later, it’s actually sort of cool.”

"Galentine's Day? I don't think I've heard that before, but I feel like it's an expression I should know the meaning of. But me and my friends went out on on the 14th. We didn't every year though, I mean I spent my share of Valentine's Days alone too. --- But yeah, no, it's not really my thing either. Sure, it's nice to go out with your significant other if you have one, to spend time with them and - I don't know, maybe not even go out, just do something you both like even if that's just watch your favorite movie together or spend all day in bed then that can also be the perfect way to spend the day...” He paused, noticing how he’s rambled. Apparently he’d given the day more thought than he knew. ”But I mean, you can also do that all the other days of the year so I think Valentine’s Day is just highly overrated,” he concluded with a shrug. “Loaded? Oh come on. Thanks for assuming I am though, nice to know I give off that impression. And please, do you really think I would ever get that idea someone let me buy them food?” Chuckling, he nudged Talulah’s shoulder, knowing she knew he never would expect anything from that. “You sure? And, well, not an old man, but maybe an old women. We’re not immortal you know. --- Really? It cracks? Might be cool, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing.”

[lonewolfed-deactivated20160722]

CHEST HAIR. I REPEAT, THERE’S CHEST HAIR.

[svenruud]

@svenruud: What a beautiful tribute to all the incredible people we've lost over the past year. You are all missed. #Oscars

[svenruud]

What is your biggest fear in a relationship?

I mean, being lied to and cheated on is never fun. But I was just left without much of an explanation again... I don’t know. I don’t think I’d handle that very well. Also getting no support for my passions and my dreams, but then again, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with that person.

[svenruud]

What is your weirdest habit?

"I don’t know if it’s that weird, I know others who do it too, but I like to cook in just my underwear? Mostly breakfast. Though possibly with an apron. Or sometimes just an apron. Herregud. I don’t know, alright? Listen, I just- when I’m home alone I don’t think clothes are that necessary. I get warm very fast.”

[svenruud]

favorite book?

“My favorite book? Well, geez, I don’t know, and I haven’t really read many books lately. Does scripts count? Because the script for Manchester by the Sea was pretty great. I mean, the script was better than the film in my opinion. But ... ah. I remember reading a book called  En av oss. One of us in English. It’s about the July 22nd terror attack in Norway. That was ... pretty strong.”

[svenruud]

"Huh, that's a very good point. Can't say I've thought about it like that before. I've never really cared much for Valentine's day and me and my single friends went out sometimes if it was on a weekend, but we didn't let our non-single friends join because they'd ruin the fun. -- That was your original plan for today? Weird part is that I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out today so we didn't sit alone. It can be a day to show your friends you care about them too," he said, giving her a friendly push with his shoulder. The day didn't mean much to him but he couldn't deny that it felt especially lonely to be all by himself on this day, so while he hadn't been thrilled when he found out Ziva had signed him up for the Mystery Date he was also sort of glad she had. After he found out his date was one of the few close friends he had in town. And what were the odds of that happening? It almost made him want to laugh. "Well, yeah." He chuckled when she called him fancy. "I don't know about that, but it is Valentine's Day, right? And since it's supposed to be a date, why not take it all out? I know it's pricey as hell, but if you let me I'll take the bill. --- You sure? Because if we need to take a cab you just let me know," he assured her, concern visible on his face. He knew she was better after Halloween, but he also knew she wasn't in the shape she used to be.

[talulahwxng]

@svenruud

“Did I forget to mention how much I absolutely hate Valentine’s Day?” Talulah asked while nudging her not-so-mystery date.  “I mean, apart from the booming business that the Palace is gonna get.  That I like.”  she added.  She had been almost offended when she found out that her employees thought so little of her dating game that they needed to sign her up for what was practically a organized blind date.  But the joke was on them, she realized, when she saw her name next to one of the people she was closest to in Caston.  “So whaddya wanna do?  Make fun of couples?  Propose to me in restaurants to we can get free food?  Go on a horse drawn carriage?  It’s no reindeer, but it could do in a pinch.”

[svenruud]

"Don't think you mentioned it but honestly, it's not surprising. I don't like it either," he admitted. It had never been of much interest to him, even though at one point he did put a lot of effort in the day so someone else could have an absolutely magnificent day. "Oh, I can imagine. I mean I've heard it gets busy at Delirium so I can only imagine how many lonely souls seek out the Palace. Do you trust them to be there alone without you though?" He raised a curious eyebrow at her, the question being half serious and half a joke. "I mean Louise's has to be perfect to mock other couples, right? So many stuck up people thinking they're so much better than everyone else. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not gonna propose. Thought I'd borrow Santa's reindeers though but unfortunately they weren't for rent. So looks like we have to either walk or take a taxi. It's not far though so walking shouldn't be a problem."

[svenruud]

ZIVA → SVEN

Ziva: i am hoping you have already found out but if not i just want you to know that i have signed you up for that idiotic mystery date in town tomorrow

ziva: get out of your head and have fun

Ziva: and by fun i mean fuck

Ziva: in case that was not clear

Sven: YOU signed me up for that shit?? What the hell, Ziva? You can't just do that to people.

Sven: Oh come on, quit it. You were very clear. I don't need help to get laid.