you'll find a rainbow

selena marie gomez. xxv.actress, singer, producer, dreamer, friend. #TEXASSTRONG disclaimer: not the real sg. written by em.

[svlenas-blog]

mxganfox:

So I really think I’m getting sick. I don’t know who gave me this cold but if was you, you’re dead to me.

Oh god, it’s that time of the year again, isn’t it? Where we all just mysteriously get sick with the most random, out of the blue colds? Thanks for the heads up - I’ll be staying in my house until flu season’s come and gone.

[svlenas-blog]

carbrowss:

Obligatory, Hi i’m Cara and i like the word fuck. 

Well, fuck have I missed you and your pretty face. Feels like I don’t even know who you are. Cara who? Doesn’t ring a bell. How you been?

[omfglauren-blog1]

turning page || laurena

[svlenas-blog]

omfglauren:

The silence was almost agonizing but also needed. Lauren took the time to catch her breath since the girl in front of her had made it hard to breathe. Seeing her in person in the dim lighting that was provided by a combination of inside her house and the outside was still like looking at a scene from a movie. She didn’t even have to try to look absolutely perfect and it was unreal how ethereal the woman was. With her always perfectly placed hair falling over her shoulders, her gorgeous brown eyes looking back at her and her physique just always flawless, Lauren was completely captivated. She could hear her own heartbeat as the two of the them stood in front of each other, her body realizing this was the moment she had been waiting for.

It had finally hit her what she just said to her, which made Lauren’s mouth go dry. She didn’t want to come on too strong but god, did she want everything Selena had to offer. She found herself more often than not wondering how the other woman would feel about deepening their relationship and how she thought about her when they were apart. Now that she was about to find out, she didn’t know how to handle it at first. Lauren wanted to be straight-forward with Selena, she didn’t want any secrets or beating around the bush. She noticed the slight change of tension after she spoke though, feeling some pressure being lifted off her shoulders. 

Lauren’s eyes never left Selena’s as she waited for her response. Her brows raised, a smile following the suit. “I don’t want to come off as trying to hard, but I really like you and I want this to be more than just meeting up every few weeks to fuck and then not seeing each other. It drives me completely crazy not seeing you as often as I want to. Which, if I had it my way, it would probably be every day. But I need you to know how sincere I am and how much I want you.“ She rambled, letting all the words that were scrambled in her head flow off her tongue. 

Selena let Lauren's words wash over her slowly, rolling across her mind back and forth like the tide might. She'd be a liar if she said she hadn't thought about this. She'd be lying to anyone who asked and herself if she tried denying that Lauren hadn't been the lingering thought in her brain for the last two months that she'd done a poor job of keeping at bay. Some moments were easier than others, where she was able to keep up with her day-to-day and not be side-swept by a thought of Lauren piercing through the forefront of her mind. It wasn't forgetfulness, but there wasn't a reminder of an ache in the back of her mouth. It was easy to overlook, up until something crossed her like a picture on Instagram (when she dared log on) or a dream she had absolutely no control over or even just the simple mannerism of something that snapped her right back into the reality of their situation: Lauren was the now she desired. And then it would plague her, for much longer than she'd care to ever admit, and it'd put her in a slump of hoping for a sign, relishing the glimpses of one another they'd get, and trying to reread specific silences like they were a road map.

Watching quietly and giving Lauren the floor - after all, she'd been the one to catapult them into this conversation and Selena felt it only fair that she let the younger woman go where she wanted with this before she chimed in - only gave her the time to iron out the now rapidly-unraveling train of thought before she let herself verbalize it. A small exhale pushed through her nose as she reached up, carding a hand back through her hair to push a few flyaways out from her eyes. Part of this still felt like a haze, the very haze she always found herself in whenever she was around Lauren, but this time it wasn't sexual tension yanking the reins. It was something entirely different, something Selena had learned to respect with almost a reverent fear. She knew the capabilities things like emotion and attachment had, the power they held particularly over her. She never stood a chance.

And with Lauren, she'd been done for the minute the first hello had crossed her lips.

Pulling at the edges of her sweater, Selena found it a little intimidating to speak up and look directly in Lauren's eyes - they were enough to make her forget her own name, truthfully - but she managed. "I believe you," she replied, eyes lightening with the smile that continued to grow over her lips. "I do, and most of it's solely because you keep...stealing the words right out of my mouth. Relationships just haven't ever been my forte, and I really care about you to the point I didn't wanna ruin what I had with you by jumping the gun or anything, so, I just, y'know. Didn't say anything sooner, I guess. I wanted you to be comfortable. Your happiness always matters much more than what I want." She gave a small pause, cracking a smile as she adopted a playful edge to her voice. "But if this is what you want, I'm certainly not going to deny you of it," Selena teased, a small laugh falling from her throat and her eyes meeting Lauren's dead-on. "Where do you wanna go from here?"

[svlenas-blog]

[Text]: I was still married at the time and I started to feel something during filming so I just tried to bury them. Which worked.

[ sms ] : ....so definitely an interesting situation, then. and now?

[svlenas-blog]

[Text]: Old feelings are coming up for someone.

[ sms ] : uh oh. that’s always a fun one. what’s the history there?

[svlenas-blog]

roommate night | selycia

Alycia: "is there ever a day that you don't compliment me? not that i'm complaining, of course, you do wonders for my self-esteem." alycia began her efforts to help selena unpack all of the goodies that she had brought home for them. there was not a single thing in the bag that she didn't love, and it was a true look at how well the two of them really knew one another. "i really don't mind being the overachiever. i don't want to be that actress that gets the reputation of being lazy and unprepared. my goal is to actually continue to get work after this show, not piss it all away because i would rather binge watch grey's and drink wine all day. " alycia thought about her question, but in all fairness, she really had no real answer for it. all she could do was follow the orders she was given. "i really have no idea? i guess once we do our first table read they will inform us on the details. i imagine it won't be for a little while, maybe sometime after thanksgiving? could be before then, god only knows." as they got down to the last bit of items in the bags, alycia pushed them to the side, before hopping onto the counter with a bit of a frown on her face. "we're gonna see less of each other aren't we?"

Selena: She paused for a second, pretending to ponder Alycia's question before shaking her head in denial, quickly breaking back out into a smile. "Hey, all in a day's work, my dear. Besides, happy Alycia is my personal favorite, whatever I can do to contribute is a small price I'm happy to pay." As everything was unloaded, Selena grabbed the now-empty takeout bag and crumpled it up, taking her chances from where she was standing as she threw it at the open trashcan next to the counter. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with doing the latter of those," she pointed out, rummaging around in one of her drawers for her corkscrew. "But I can guarantee you'll work again, that much's for sure. You're too talented to pass up on, and it certainly helps that you've got a little floating halo over your head." Corkscrew in hand and nudging her hip forward to shut the cabinet drawer back, Selena's hand reached out for the bottle of wine. "Thanksgiving? So we've got awhile then." She managed to get the cork off the bottle right as Alycia spoke back up, the tone of her voice enough to draw a mirror frown onto Selena's face. She set the corkscrew down on the counter, both hands resting on the surface as she looked back up, eyes meeting Alycia's. It was then that she knew there was no hope of ever sugarcoating the facts - the beauty of having a friendship like theirs meant that there wasn't such a thing as a secret, not really, anyways. Her face fell a little as she gave a half-hearted shrug. "Honest? Probably." The words stung a little as they fell past her lips; they didn't come as a surprise, but they hurt more entering the air around them than they did when they stuck to bouncing around in her mind. Selena shook her head, before extending her hand out and grabbing onto Alycia's. "But," she continued, forcing her voice up an octave in order to give a semblance of something that mimicked optimism. "I'm not worried about it, or us. We'll FaceTime whenever we possibly can, and we'll talk on the phone or text when we can't. I meant it when I said I'd come visit you on set, too. Right now, I don't have anything on my schedule keeping me from going, and as long as I'm as spry as I am now, it'll be pretty damn hard for you to get rid of me. Just because we have to put being roommates on pause doesn't mean we'll just stop being best friends."

[svlenas-blog]

[Text]: hey Sel. I'd love some advice right now.

[ sms ] : dan, my man!! absolutely, what’s up?

[svlenas-blog]

@ddlovato: Sundays are for sweating 💪 @Fabletics

@selenagomez: 100% convinced that the only reason i'd ever enjoy intense work-outs is bc i'd be wearing your line @ddlovato

[svlenas-blog]

text | selena

taylor: did you hear that amazon will now deliver wine to your house in 2 hours??????? gives me more of an excuse to never leave my cozy home

selena: girl, you don't leave your home as it is - although now i'm curious to know if that rumor about you leaving your apartment in nyc in a suitcase is true...

selena: two hours though??? that's glorious.

[omfglauren-blog1]

turning page || laurena

[svlenas-blog]

omfglauren:

Now that Lauren was right at Selena’s door, it all became real. She was going to tell the woman everything that’s been on her mind in just a matter of seconds and that made her hair stand up. There was nothing more she wanted than for this to work out and for things to flow with ease. Ever since they really got to know each other, it was like something just clicked and having someone like that in Lauren’s life was so refreshing. She trusted Selena, she felt like she could really let down her walls in front of her and just be in the moment. She wanted the two of them to be more than just sex or a vacation fling, which is why she was making the effort that night. She needed the woman to know how much she valued her and how much she really wanted her in her own life. 

The second Selena opened the door and revealed her usual gorgeous self, Lauren was reminded of just how breathtaking the woman was. Her presence made her feel warmer and more relaxed than just a moment ago. She was stunning, the woman’s everlasting beauty making it impossible for Lauren to take her eyes off of her. After a few moments of silence, the girl spoke up and snapped Lauren out of her dreamy fog. She smiled, her hands itching to just reach out and touch her, but that had to wait. This was an important moment for her and she wasn’t going to screw it up. “Hi,” She responded, clearing her throat a bit as they made eye contact. All of the feelings she’s been bottling up had been opened at just the sight of the woman that has filled her mind. “I meant every word.” She told her, not knowing she was even speaking when it left her mouth. She didn’t mean to say it right away, but it came pouring out. 

For a moment, there was a lull in the space between them, one that Selena couldn’t pinpoint the origin of. Was it a fresh batch of nerves, finally face-to-face after months of dancing around each other and things coming to a head following a conversation that had she been drunk, be sobering? Was it a silent moment of reverence of being back in the presence of one of the most ethereal people Selena had ever come across? Or was it something entirely different that she’d yet to realize? She wasn’t sure. All she was sure of is that every word in her throat, every thought she’d had building up ever since Costa Rica had met a roadblock it didn’t know how to overcome. Lauren could render her speechless, that much was for sure. It was the danger that often associated with her silence that kept her heart thrumming steadily in her chest.

It was near impossible to take her eyes off of the woman in front of her, drinking in every little detail as rapidly as she could. It hadn’t been nor had it felt like that long since they’d last been here, in front of one another, but familiarizing herself just with Lauren’s eyes in person made it feel as though years had passed. Just the sound of her voice was enough to turn back on the electricity inside her, nerves quickly becoming coils of wire lighting up with every syllable. And then she realized what Lauren was saying, it taking her a moment to register as she blinked a few times. Selena hadn’t expected her to jump the gun that quickly, nor had she anticipated it being that to the point - usually these things had a preface, right? It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, though. Formalities had never truly been a barrier holding her and Lauren back, no reason for them to begin now. And now that that was in the air, things felt much lighter. The way they had that first night, the way she remembered, the way she enjoyed.

“Yeah?” Selena said, releasing her lower lip from her teeth’s capture. She was quiet for a moment, slow to give the affirmative nod of her head. “Yeah, so did I.” A lazy smile started to unwind over her lips, simply from the weight that had seemingly been lifted from her at finally admitting it out loud.

[freshgomez]

[omfglauren-blog1]

turning page || laurena

[svlenas-blog]

omfglauren:

Lauren was nervous. But in the best way possible. As she got into the Lyft and told him where to go (of course she didn’t give Selena’s actual address but something very close to it), she felt her heart pounding. Everything she had texted Selena was the real truth on how she felt, and now that it was out there she felt relief. Even more so that Selena didn’t think she was flaking out on her and felt the same way. Ever since their first conversation, the other Latina had sent a spark through Lauren and it kept growing as they grew closer. Her mind would always track back to her and remind Lauren of the intimate moments they had shared and all the details of their relationship. 

By the time the car pulled up to where she request, the woman’s nervousness and happiness had overpowered how tipsy she felt when she sent the initial text. She thanked the driver and walked down the block to where she knew Selena and Alycia resided. She pulled out her phone to send a quick text to let the girl know she wasn’t far. She licked her lips as she got closer to the door, reminding herself to keep her breathing easy and to make sure she told Selena everything she felt because the woman deserved to know. Saying it over text was so much more different than saying it in person. She wanted the other woman to see how sincere she was being and how she was willing to do anything to make sure that drought between the two never happened again. She took a deep breath as she lifted her arm to give the door three quick knocks. She waited for the woman to answer, hoping that seeing her again would calm her nerves and make her feel whole again.

Her phone fell beside her on the bed, and already Selena could feel her heart hammering right under her skin in the hollow of her throat. Mind swimming, treading water at best, she ran her fingers back through her hair and exhaled shallowly through her nose. Ever since Costa Rica, ever since their very first conversation that consisted of something other than a polite formality in the wings of some award show, Lauren had occupied most of her thoughts, and Selena’d done a poor job at suppressing the rising feelings. She couldn’t be blamed, really. There was something magnetic about Lauren’s charisma, something so different to her that made her a breath of fresh air in an otherwise polluted world. Selena knew she was taking a risk, being open with Lauren and telling her that this was much more to her than a casual hookup every now and again — it had gone over well so far, thank God, but the conversation was far from over.

In fact, it was coming straight to her front door.

Alycia was gone for the night, another small blessing Selena was thankful for as she pulled herself together as best she could in the short time frame Lauren had given her. Her nerves were running at an all-time high, if only because the anxiousness of where they could possibly go from here heightening with every moment she had to pace through the foyer, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater. She wanted to be transparent, just like she had in the text messages, but there was still a hint of hesitancy lingering in the back of her throat: messing this up was not an option. Selena needed for Lauren to be on the same page, and if in some crazy universe she had gotten her wires crossed, she needed to know where she was going to step in advance. Relationships had never been her forte, despite her desire for one, and ruining things in one fell swoop was typically her trademark. Not with Lauren. Couldn’t be with Lauren; she refused to fuck this up. The time she thought she’d had to iron out her thoughts and prepare herself dissipated in the blink of an eye, a knock on her front door anchoring her back to reality. Selena swallowed, wringing out her hands quickly before opening up the front door. Green eyes pierced straight through her like she was as two-dimensional as a flimsy sheet of paper, breath hitching in her throat and heart plummeting straight to her knees. Lauren really was beautiful, a kind reminder now that Selena was back within finger-length distance of her. “Hi,” she breathed out, hand resting against the edge of the door. 

[svlenas-blog]

[Text]: Only filming my show Legion right now which ends soon. My movies are complete which I'm excited about. [Text]: That would make my daughter's year so yes I'd love to bring them over to swim. That's very sweet.

[ sms ] : oh, really? it didn’t register with me you were in legion up until like, just now, so i’m now gonna have to go back and rewatch all the recorded episodes. my stepdad’s kind of obsessed with the show, haha. but that’s always something to be excited about though!! good ones, i hope?

[ sms ] : aw, it’s no problem! like i said, you’re doing ME a favor with this too, so i appreciate it. i’ve forgotten what company other than my roommate looks like these days, so it’ll be nice to hang out

[svlenas-blog]

text | hot tamale🌶

lauren: i really hope that's true, but we've got this life and i'm gonna keep you in it. okay, i'm glad you understand though. because i've never felt this way about anyone before... like this is a whole different feeling and i'm letting myself follow it. okay, i'll get a lyft and be there as soon as i can.

selena: i like the sound of that. 'course i understand; this is just as new territory for me as it is you. i want this to...y'know. work. we can talk more about it when you get here though. text me once you get close, i'll be here waiitng

[svlenas-blog]

[text]: doing really well right now. :) [text]: a proposition? shoot.

[ sms ] : that’s great! working on anything exciting as of lately?

[ sms ] : okay, so i think i remember at one point you saying one of your girls was a fan? so, here’s my sitch: i haven’t used my pool all summer and i’m gonna have to close it up soon when i head back up to nyc for some work stuff and i feel awful knowing it has served no purpose this summer, would you & your kids wanna come over one day and use it?? like i said, i just feel awful knowing i opened that damn pool only to use it like, twice this whole summer, and i need to know it served its purpose, lmao. plus, it’d be nice to see someone other than my roommate at this point 😂

[svlenas-blog]

text | hot tamale🌶

lauren: i know, i know. and i'm grateful for this life because i know i would have never met you if we didn't have it. i don't wanna fuck it up either and i couldn't let one of the realest things that's ever happened to me slip through my fingers. i don't know... i'm just constantly paranoid about that shit but you telling me that means more than i can express. it's okay, we both have things going on regardless. fuck, i'm so relieved. can i come over? is that too forward? i just want to see you

selena: i feel like we would've found each other some way even if we didn't have all this. you're the kind of person i'd want in my life, fame or no fame. you don't have any reason to be paranoid though, laur. you don't. i get it, i get why, i've been there, but i mean it when i say there's nobody in my life right now quite like you. just...breathe, love. i wouldn't crucify you or hold something that was kinda out of your control to begin with over your head, that's not me. no, it isn't. i'd love that; leesh isn't here so i've got the place to myself. i'll turn the lights on out front for you

[kpopco]