Why LFL Employees Especially White Males Should Shut Up about Judging Leia for being a Working Mother
That Bryan Young who works for LFL wrote some bullshit meta yesterday about how he understood after reading Last Shot why Ben felt abandoned by his parents and that his parents put the New Republic over him, so it makes sense that he’d rebel against it and join the First Order.
Then today he wrote that he was surprised that his statements were taking as a condemnation on working parents and that it wasn’t his intention to condemn all working parents, just that Han and Leia made a mistake by deciding to have careers after Ben was born.
Okay, I’m sorry but there are so many things wrote with this statement I don’t even know where to begin.
1) First, sorry but stories don’t happen in a vacuum which is what Reyloers like Bryan Young want to believe. Since the beginning of time, mothers have been condemned for working outside the home after they have children and have been told by conservatives that working mothers are the root of all evils and if something happens to the child, they’re to blame. This myth that still exists that women cannot balance family and career. This has gotten a LITTLE better since the 1950s but this judgment still exists today. My mother was a working mother in the 1980s and constantly got shit on for “not being there” for her child despite the fact that she was there for me for every doctor’s appointment, every dance rehearsal, every school play, every science fair. Fuck that noise. Oh, and neither me nor my sister grew up to be mass murderer.
A story of “If only Leia had quit her job as a Senator and chosen to stay home and be a stay at home mom, Ben wouldn’t have gone Dark and trillions of lives in the galaxy could have been saved” is a terrible message to send young girls and women, especially about the first “feminist icon” of Star Wars (Kathleen Kennedy’s own words).
Are all these people condemning Leia for keeping her job after she had Ben forgetting Bail? He had a job as a Senator but was off planet half the time on Coruscant, unlike Leia who lived on the same planet that the Senate was on. Yet, from what we see in PLOA, Leia adored him and thought of him as the greatest father ever. Is one okay but not the other because Leia’s a woman and Bail is a man? Because that’s how it will come across if that’s the story they decide to go with.
2) This whole idea that Han and Leia valued the New Republic over Ben is premised on the idea that Kylo is a reliable and reasonable narrator. You mean, the guy who destroyed a console because he got bad at a subordinate, the guy who cut down a defenceless old man because he mentioned his family, and who ordered the slaughter of an entire village of civilians, including children? Yeah, that guy.
Why should we believe Kylo when he says his parents valued the New Republic over him? It’s clear from Aftermath and Last Shot that Ben is the centre of Han and Leia’s lives and that everything they do revolves around him. He is adored and doted upon all throughout the book, and the whole point of the book is how difficult it is for Han to be away from Ben for even a few days since he hasn’t left home since Ben was born two years ago. Ben is showed in almost every scene either being hugged or held by Han or Leia so the idea that Han and Leia left him to droids to raise him is complete bullshit. He’s literally only seen with droids twice and both times incredibly briefly. It’s clear from the book Han is the primary caregiver of Ben and Han and Leia are both presented, hands on, affectionate, loving and devoted parents throughout Last Shot.
We know from three movies in the Original Trilogy that Han and Leia value the ones they love above all else, including the cause. That’s why Han came back to rescue Luke from the Death Star. That’s why Han risked his life to rescue Luke on Hoth. That’s why Han went back on Hoth to make sure Leia got out okay. That’s why Leia left the Rebellion during a dire time (when they found out the Empire was building a 2nd Death Star) to rescue Han. THAT’S ALL THEIR CHARACTERS DO IN THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
3) This is also based on the assumption that it is perfectly reasonable to “rebel against your parents” by joining a fascist dictatorship that commits genocide and slaughters legions of innocent people, and also kidnaps children to become soldiers. Sure, teenagers rebel against parents all the time (although Kylo was 23 when he turned to the Dark Side, so not even a teenager). This can include drinking, smoking, running off to join art school when your parents want you in the military, etc. Those are all reasonable and understandable actions. Not joining a fascist organization that commits genocide.
If Last Shot told us anything it was that after learning about Leia’s PTSD from Alderaan and how deeply it affected her, it makes Kylo’s decision to run off and join a fascist dictatorship modelled on the Empire that blows up planets even worse.
4) We are judging Leia because there is a pre determined outcome that Ben went Dark that she had no way of knowing about when she decided to keep her career as a Senator. It’s stupid to say “Oh I’m not condemning all working mothers, just Leia for the choices she made because her son was a whiny bitch and turned out to be a killer, so I can condemn her even if there’s no difference between her and any other working mother”. In the old EU, Leia kept her career as a Senator and Han was the primary caregiver, much like the situation in Last Shot, yet all their 3 kids turned out okay (minus Jacen, but his reasons for falling weren’t anything to do with his childhood) so no one gave Leia grief for being a working mother in Legends.
5) Where is the evidence that Ben wouldn’t have turned Dark if Leia had decided to be a stay at home mother? I have yet to see any presented, yet because it’s the easiest thing in the world to go “blame the working mother!” everyone is jumping on this bandwagon. Ben clearly had a lot of issues other than what was going on with his parents, given Snoke’s manipulation and his anger management issues.
6) Lastly, this Bryan Young is full of shit because he’s also the same guy who said Reylo would be feminist and groundbreaking. Sorry, there’s nothing feminist about a woman forgiving her abuser and entering a romantic relationship with him to “fix” him. That’s a story as old as time.
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