The Land of Milk and Muscles

D--> Welc0me t0 my hive, mind the tea and t0wels (Ask Blog for Equius Zahhak. Occasionally NSFW (depending) 9 1/2 sweeps, about 20.)

[crypticafflection]

Hello beautiful can I get some hurt/comfort hcs with Kanaya Equius and Karkat please and thank you

[Kanaya/Equius/Karkat x reader hurt/comfort headcanons]

Warnings: Reader is sad, not specified by what. Karkat and Equius trying their best, Kanaya being the best one.

Word count: about 800ish

A/N; baby's first request,,,,, I am so sorry if this is shit CHAT PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO LEARN BETTER (ily queen thank u for the ask)

Kanaya:

Arguably the best troll you can go to, she's a Jade blood, she's kinda made for comfort, seeing what she does for the entire cast.

She's alot more tender with you though, treating you like glass when she leads you to her room on the meteor, moving to sit on the couch and pats her lap gently.

"Come."

"I'll be okay Kanaya, I don't want to bother you."

You look pitiful standing near the door, visible tear tracks staining your skin.

Kanaya raises a well groomed eyebrow, making a face.

"Do You Think I Would Offer Had I Not Wanted To?" She speaks, slightly offended you think she's doing this out of some pity.

She cares for you, it is a no brainer that she will be the first to step up to plate to help you. It's nonsense to think otherwise.

"...I don't know."

"Beloved, Come Here." Her voice leaves no room for argument, she's not gonna let you wallow in your pain by yourself.

Shuffling your way over, you move to curl up next to her, instinctively moving to place your head on her lap.

"You Can Talk To Me Or If You Rather, Let Me Comfort You Like This. Whichever You Prefer."

And with that, she starts to hum, some song Dave had been playing that she can't for the life of her remember but it seems to be doing the trick.

She doesn’t mention the puddle of tears accumulating on her skirt, simply rubbing circles on your back.

Equius:

He fucking s u c k s at it. Go to anyone else.

It's not for his lack of care or trying, he genuinely doesn't know how to comfort someone correctly, he's just used to bottling up his anger and destroying his bots.

The second he sees you hurt, physically? it's a no brainer, he passes you off to Nepeta and goes out for blood, one of the few times he doesn't hate his strength is when he can use it to protect his loved ones (you and Nep!) (MEOWRAILS BELOVED)

Emotionally though, god help him he's STUPID he's fucking repressed dude, not to mention he is afraid to even lay a hand on you. He knows the 'logical' thing would be to hold you, give you a hug, any comfort but he just locks up and stares at you with hands hovering in the air, sweating bullets.

Unfortunately you're gonna have to be blunt and tell him what you need, he takes well to orders, even if you're a human or a lowblood, he takes your word as law.

"Just...hold me. Please."

"I do not know if tha-"

You cut him off, eyes stinging with tears, exhaustion on your face apparent. It makes him sick, watching you curl into yourself, a blanket around your shoulders as you try and make yourself small.

"You make me feel safe, please Equius?"

"Understood."

Wrapping you in his arms with so much care, gently bringing your head to rest against his chest. Please don't imagine him smoothing your hair, desperately wanting you to calm down.

You can feel his blood pusher going 1000x beats a second and he tells himself to calm the fuck down.

Equius wishes he were stronger, more reliable to keep you safe from even emotional pain, but then you nuzzle into his chest, and he can feel your body relax against his, seeking his comfort over anyone else's.

So.

He must be doing something right.

Karkat:

Deep breath, my god he tries. He tries so fucking hard, his first instinct is to yell, to call whoever or whatever made you so upset a apeshitting scumbagass with a quickness realizes that shit, yelling isn't gonna help, especially if the flinch and the way your shoulders hitch up and you duck down.

Shit shit fucking shit dude.

"UH, I- FUCK. DUDE LOOK AT ME." Slapping his hands on your shoulders, gripping your shirt.

"Karkat let go." Your voice is small and he feels his acid tubes in his throat. You never tell him to leave.

"NO. YOURE CLEARLY FUCKING GOING THROUGH IT. LET ME. SHIT. HELP. COME HERE."

He's watched enough romcoms, surely SOMETHING has to work? Right? He's trying his best man.

None too gently forces your face to sit on his shoulder, clawed hands gently scratching your scalp in attempt to ground you.

You let out a whimper, feeling a fresh new set of tears flood in.

"I DON'T KNOW WHO DID IT. BUT FUCK THEM. DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE FUCKBAGGING KRINGLEFUCKING WASTE OF SPACES."

"But," He shooshes you, bringing up another hand push a finger against your lips. Eyes narrowed down at you, a blush on his grey cheeks at the close proximity you two are in.

"LET ME COMFORT YOU. DAMNIT."

He's so adamant that you can't help but smile softly, eyes softening.

For such an angry loudmouthed troll, he had so much love for you.

[stuckonscenarios]

How would you think all the beta troll boys would act around their crush, would they be the first to confess to their crush ?

❤️ unless karkat feels very very strongly for you, then i don’t think he would outright confess. however, that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be totally obvious that he’s flushed for you. karkat is not a subtle guy, haha. i think he’d probably try to act tough around you in an effort to make you admire him more. karkat would also monopolize your time; he wants your attention like, a lot. he’ll probably message/want to hang out with you all the time. 

🧡 despite his self esteem issues, tavros would confess to you first. he probably works himself into an ultra-confident and cocky headspace like he did when talking to jade. but i don’t think he’d keep it up. as soon as you explain that you like him for who he is and not some macho front, tavros would be quick to drop it. i also think tavros would be very enthusiastic about learning what your interests are, as well as sharing his own. 

💛 i don’t think sollux would confess first, tbh. he’d be very conflicted on whether or not to say anything, but ultimately he’d choose to keep the crush to himself. the thought of you rejecting him is too nerve-racking for sollux, so he lets you come to him first. out of all the beta boys, sollux would be the most tight-lipped about his crushes. it’ll be very hard to tell that he likes you unless you know what you’re looking for (complaining wayyy less than he would with anyone else when you ask him to do things, being softer around you in general, and lots of game recs are things to look out for). 

💙 equius... oh boy. i love him dearly, but he just does not know how to act around a flush crush. he’s so terribly awkward around you and likely second guesses everything he says to you (which is fair, because he’ll probably say some pretty weird stuff at points). equius will wait a good while before saying anything about his crush on you. part of this time is spent working up the courage, while the other part is spent hoping you might confess first. eventually, though, i think he would bring up the fact that he likes you. 

💜 i think gamzee might also wait a long time to say anything about liking you. the only difference between his and equius’ reasons for keeping quiet is that i don’t think gamzee would need to hype himself up very much. he feels very comfortable around you, and honesty comes easy when he talks to you. after gamzee’s grown tired of waiting for you to make the first move, i think he’d throw out a very haphazard confession. like, you two would be talking about something random and he’d throw in an “oh by the way i have a huge crush on you” in the middle of the conversation. 

💜 it’s hard to say with eridan. on one hand, it’s easy to see eridan being the first to confess. but on the other hand, he’s very predisposed to just letting himself pine for months and months. so, unless you say something first, i think eventually eridan would break and tell you. i headcanon eridan as being very tactile with people he’s red for, so prepare for a lot of hand holding and innocent stuff like that. things he could reasonably explain away, but still let him feel close to you. 

-mod lux (for future reference, please limit your requests to four characters! i’m cleaning out the inbox now, but future requests wont be filled out :/ )

[crypticafflection]

since reqs opened and wanted..equius and eridan (separate) getting caught by their s/o while trying to scent mark their clothes, like they walk in on that fucker rubbing into their stuff like a damn cat

[Can you match their freak? Maybe so!] [Equius x reader] [Eridan x reader] [headcanons]

Warnings: they're kinda being creepy? For this, you're into that shit tho (also human bc i can see this as a troll thing)

A/N: First time writing Eridan, I am not doing his fuckass writing quirk, I hope he's written well I just got to him in the comic (twirls hair @ my horse HI EQU BELOVED)

Equius:

- Equius is fully aware that you are his already, there really is no need for such, drastic measures such as scenting you.

- but justttt there isn't an exact reason to do so, doesn't mean he can't lose to his impulse thoughts. You're his. Therefore its only logical you smell like him.

- He waits til he's extra sweaty to do so, its when he admittedly smells more potent and has a higher change of lingering.

- Feels like a fucking creep doing so, which makes him sweat more. Basically using your clothes as a replacement for towels.

- He reasons that it's okay, you're both matesprits, he has every right to do this (not really dude but okay ur partner is a freak also)

- Thinks he's been slick about it, yeah no. Equius' scent is so specific due to his biology, sweat and drinking habits that you KNOW he has to be doing shit to your clothes behind your back.

- You like to tease him and leave your underwear (whether it be your bra/boxers/panties) is easy visible places for him to find.

- When you inevitably walk into your bedroom and see him with your shirt damn near suffocating him, you can't help but laugh and tease him.

"Equ? Really?"

"This is not what it looks like."

"Baby, I can see the sweat stains on it? You're telling me that wasn't from you?"

"Precisely."

"....why not scent me more directly?" Opening your arms, eyes narrowed in what you hope is a sexy look.

- His face erupts into blue, balling up the shirt and throwing it behind him.

Eridan:

- Eridan does it for a much more? Toxic reason?

-While Equius does it out of wanting to be surrounded by you, Eridan does it out of possessiveness.

-He wants you to be constantly reminded of him, that he exists, even if you are away from him for whatever reason.

- you can tell him how much you love him, reassure him as much as possible but deep down, he's always gonna be that little troll who craves love and connection so bad.

- He's worked on a bit of his....tendencies since dating you, but he still struggles, and he still struggles with opening up to YOU about it. So this is a different route for him to take.

-Wears some cheap ass random cologne he found, and douses himself in it, then proceeds to rummage around your room, looking for stuff he can get grubby fish hands on so he can feel some semblance of control.

- Knows its creepy, doesn't particularly care tho, he could be doing worse, he's more than capable of such awful things. This is pretty far down on the ladder of bullshit he's pulled.

- So when you walk in on him, wrapped in your hoodie, hair tousled from him rubbing the article of clothing all over, you just sigh

- Shameless bc he keeps going, clearly if you haven't said anything, its fine right?

[bridalgirl]

equius x reader headcanons? hes my favorite guy and i love him a lot

[how i feel making requests]

"not out of desire or shame but some subconscious impulse to feel pain"

behind all the muscle and his barely-kept-together mental state, is someones whos very, sickly sweet.

he doesnt show it in the most direct ways. maybe not the most socially acceptable ways, either. but hes in love with you. dear jegus believe him, he truly is.

when he met you he was initially taken aback. his etiquette and morals failing him because you were so different. and so intoxicating. and so nice.

he needed a towel.

but, seriously, it took awhile before he actually took his feelings seriously. first he floated around you, more often sitting at his computer, drumming his fingers and waiting for a message to come in.

hed ask all his friends (from every caste) about you, waxing poetically about how you spoke, how you behaved, how you looked.

ofcourse, in the early days those admiring comments were mixed with some hints of distaste. old habits die hard, and no matter what caste you are- lord forbid if youre human- he'll have some choice words to say about the colour of your blood. but, really, its all nothing to him. every negative thought gets mixed with the positive ones, and the longer he talks, the negative ones just.. fade away.

either nepeta or karkat would tell him that he seemed oddly interested in you. he tried his hardest to ignore that.

but with every message you exchanged with eachother, something seemed to blossom inside of him. you kept catching him off guard and left him fumbling with his feelings. though he;d be too stubborn to tell you about what he felt, ofcourse.

but when you start dating? boy. boy. goodluck getting this man away from you.

hes by your side. always.

personally i think his biggest love languages are quality time and acts of service. he loves being useful to you. whether it'd be picking up groceries or fending off creeps. this man can do it all.

speaking of a) groceries. hes a strong boy, as we all know. i think hed like to show off a bit, bashfully deny you from carrying things yourself and instead doing it for you. he also likes it when other people see him carrying things for you- it fills him with an odd amount of pride. he can do things for you. help you.

and b) creeps. equius will be your personal guard dog, whether he means to or not. hes a very protective person, and you only have to snap your fingers or he'll snap and lunge and bite at whoever is bothering you. whether thats literally or figuratively is up for debate.

[crypticafflection]

homie pal bro amigo buddy im here to ask for gamzee n equius x reader period comfort pls i beg, i know they would likely suck at it but i need it anyway

im currently dying, getting killed fr, those cramps are like all 7 dwarfs and the snowwhite herself are shaking me from the inside

[Period comforts] [Gamzee x reader] [Equius x reader] [headcanons]

Warnings: Reader has periods but no gendered language except a 'mama's in gamzees, NSFW mentioned at the end in both sections. Gamzee and Equius being freaks but they do it out of affection.

A/N: my period is also coming anon so for both of us, we will survive. Also hi did y'all miss me pls say yes

Gamzee:

-Gamzee is actually not THAT hopeless, all things considered.

- Yeah Gamzee is high most of the time but he is intuitive imo, very much in tune with you as well. So he knows usually before even you do that your cycle is about to start.

- He's so fucking off putting going like,

"ItS cOmInG."

"What?"

"YoUr MoThErFuCkInG blOoD sPuRtS mAmAs. I cAn SmElL iT."

- Hey Gamz! What! (He's literally part goat he has the senses for it. It's weird.)

- Won't do the traditional stuff 100%, but does make it a point to make you rest on top of him, cradling you to his chest while he softly honks in between soft rambles of what everyones been up to this week.

- Nuzzling his face against yours, his face makeupless for once, he doesn't wanna get you dirty. His face is so soft ever since you taught him how to exfoliate and introduce him to makeup wipes.

-Shoves his warm as fuck hands under your shirt, trying to give you all the heat he can, rubs your stomach with little circles. Will purr at max volume for you, you can feel it through your entire body and it helps you sleep and take your mind off the pain.

- Gamzee will however get you as many sweet treats as you desire, faygo? Obviously your favorite flavor, Ice cream? Duh, there's like 10 containers in the freezer already. He is prepared.

- NSFW HC bc I feel like I can jump someones bones on my period: Gamzee does NOT give a fuck about some blood, absolutely no shame in his game. If orgasms help, he licks his lips and goes to town, you gotta use his horns to try and push this motherfucker away.

- He says you taste just as good as faygo, what the fuck is wrong with him.

Freak.

Equius:

- He is fucking clueless but he can learn!!! Please bear with him. He does want to be there for you.

- When youre curled into a ball in your room, he freaks the fuck out and thinks you're dying, and after you give him no response, he goes to Nepeta like !!! MY HUMAN IS DOWN. WHAT DO I DO.

- Nepeta, being the best meowrail ever! Has planned to be backup for this! So she gives him a crash course, complete with a chalkboard with images and diagrams.

- You'd think Equius' would be disgusted? Yeah no actually, he takes it so seriously. literally taking notes of what Nepeta says and cross referencing it with stuff he knows you enjoy.

- Brings you a heat pad, warm watter bottles, snacks, pain killers, your favorite food, literally anything and everything he can think of. His arms are full and he's sweating in your doorway like "I arrived as fast as I could little one." Like you're about to give birth 😭

- Will not touch you, just stands by your bed like a statue until you look up at him with red eyes and ask for cuddles.

- He wants to say no on account of him, yk, not being USED to those but he can't tell you no. He can deny so many of the other humans or trolls, even Nep. But you? No, he's weak.

- So he lowers himself to your bed, laying like a fucking vampire as he let's you move him to your comfort, and next thing he knows, you're on your back, he's thrown over top of you like a weighted blanket.

"I do not think this is the optimal position for your comfort."

"Nuh uh."

"....What do you mean by "Nuh uh."

"...comfy...safe."

- Good job you broke the horse. Now he is sweating.

- Rubs his hands your sides, his gloves ever so slightly scratching your skin and it feels heavenly, being held so gently by him.

- He rests his head over your heart, his hair covering his face as he relaxes into you. Equius can purr but its more akin to rumbles through his body, and he tries so hard to repress them because Equius claims it's unbecoming of a blue blood but he can't help it, it'll always seep out when in your arms.

- Will braid your hair for you so it doesn't get messy or in your way, being sure to attach little metal hair clips he's made for you for accessories. Everyone is impressed he can do something so delicate.

- carrys you around, its one of the few times he doesn't feel like a freak. He's being useful, he's helping you. What do you mean you're just gonna walk yourself to the bathroom? No. What kind of matesprit would he be if he didn't assist you?

- I know it seems like I make Equius baby you but he does the same shit with Nep, so of course being in a red romance even more so he is a bit controlling and taking charge.

- that doesn't mean he wont listen to things you say or want, but he sees himself as your protector and you're vulnerable. It's his responsibility to care for you and he'd be damned if he failed.

-Down bad levels of worship, would change your pad or tampon for you if you were okay with it. He doesn't find it gross. You're his little human mate.

- Freebie NSFW headcanon again bc its me: Also doesn't mind blood Equius is a freak yall he filled the aradia bot up with his own blood, your period blood does not phase him. Will happily finger you or fuck you stupid so your cramps go away. Just gets a towel and goes to work.

- Will have you propped against his chest, your back against it as he reaches a hand down between your thighs, playing with you until slick starts to mix and then he goes to town. His glasses keep his eyes hidden but his face is flushed blue and you feel his bulge squirming against your back as you whine.

[placeholder-eridanfan]

Twin, a motherfucker had a humble request, twirls hair how do u think Karkat, Gamzee, and Equius (separately) would react to their flush crush human doing her makeup in their blood colors,,, i wont them bad as hell (LOVE U TWIN GET 2 THIS WHENEVER !!!)

TEHE YES TWIN!!! LOVE U 2. I had such fun writing this, i kind of really leaned into the idea that trolls wear their blood colour. I hope you like!!

Karkat Vantas, Equius Zahhak, and Gamzee Makara x Fem!Reader

Content Warnings : None

dividers by junabuggy, k1ssyoursister, and we-die-like-fools!!

Karkat Vantas

Karkat is honestly really flattered

He knows it was probably just a coincidence, that it was silly to get this flushed over something so dumb. People wear red all the time, especially in human customs. Humans wear whatever colours they want. They’re not trying to colour code their wardrobes to their blood colour.

But.. how can he not feel at least a little smitten? His blood colour has always been something with a bad connotation- a mutation, abnormal. Something to hide.

So to see you wearing his colours, prideful and proud, does embarrassingly have an affect on him. It’s kind of how he’s obsessed with the idea of biting you, you carrying his teeth marks around all day just barely visible from under the collar of your shirt. Of course, these are just fantasies. 

It also helps that you’re just really pretty. You could be bare faced and he’d think that, but the way you accentuate all your best features, he’s honestly really impressed. He’ll give credit when credit’s due.

He’ll give you a compliment about it, but it’ll be more directed at the colour itself instead of the beauty you have. He doesn’t want to show his hand too early (it’s so obvious)

‘I LIKE THAT. GOOD COLOUR CHOICE. FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO'S NOT A TOTAL AND COMPLETE IDIOT DUMBASS.’

His face is beet red btw. And he’s sweating like a pig. He barely got that sentence out. And he desperately wants to kiss you. Too bad that would ruin your gorgeous makeup sighhh

Equius Zahhak

Probably the most affected out of this group

For a split second, he’s struck with surprise. Why are you wearing so much indigo on your face? He then remembers that humans don’t have the hemospectrum, no hierarchy based on the colour of what's inside you. Out of all his friends, he probably has the hardest time remembering that. 

Then he starts to sweat. 

With a mind like Equius’, it’s hard to not get worked up over the little things. Sure, the one he’s red for is perusing around with his colour smeared on her face, but that could be fully unintentional!!!

He corrects his thoughts. You did not ‘smear’ this on your face, you obviously took lots of time and effort delicately building the colour across your eyelids and painting it on your lips. Even your eyelashes had a tint of blue to them. If he caught you in the right light, the highlight on your cheeks had tiny specs of blue glitter. 

He can not be normal about this don’t even joke

He very awkwardly gives you compliments about what you’ve decided for your makeup today.

‘D→ If

‘D→ If I can say, that colour is quite gorgeous on you. Very… complimentary.’

He can feel the sweat drip down the back of his neck and collect at his tanktop. Despite his shades, he was pretty sure you could feel the full intensity of his white hot stare on your face. 

Equius likes the idea of you walking around willingly with the colour associated with him on your face. Even if it was unintentional or a coincidence, you having a public tie to him made his fists shake at his sides.

Gamzee Makara

When Gamzee sees the purple on your face, he’s quick to mention it to you. He doesn’t dilly dally around what it could mean or if it was purposeful, he just knows you look extra pretty today and that you guys match.

‘DaMN WIckEd sIsTEr, pReTty sTEllAR cOloUR chOIcE YOu’VE mAdE On thIS fInE dAY. SiMILaR To a CErtAIn cLowN tRyING to GEt aLl uP In yOUr buSIneSS :0)’

He points to himself then to you, if it wasn’t clear already who he was referring to.

Nothing much really changes. You guys talk as normal, bounce jokes off each other, but there's a slight flirtatious feeling in the air. Could be just friendly flirting, but the way Gamzee has been looking at you makes it feel a bit more red in nature.

His gaze is just a little more focused than normal. Instead of glazed over and wandering, his eyes have been planted on your face the entire time you’ve been talking. The way your lips look with purple rubbed onto them is something he’s now planted in his memory. 

If you admit that this all was intentional, that you wanted to match with him, he’ll laugh and and throw an arm around your shoulder. 

‘MaN, Don’T I fEel LikE thE LucKIEsT MothERFucKeR tHEre EvER wAs.’

not proofred or edited if you see mistakes SQUINT!!!

[jellogram]

Okay so I found the most incredible horse statue while doing research for my job and guys. Are you ready for this. Are you sure you're fucking ready for this thing

[jellogram]

*sees 2 notes* FUCK yes let's fucking GOOOO

Behemoth

[bix46]

I saw the opposite of this horse

[shadowerrata]

HONSE & hrse

[babyanimalgifs]

That is a Majestical Beast 

(Source)

[beacon-lamp]

hello beloveds ☺️

[iceslushii]

made an alternate version for the mutuals ive never spoken to

[thetreeofliberty]

You are appreciated

[midnight-and-his-melodiverse]

Y'all are beloveds to me, hehe

[secondlina]

Working all week long (because I'm an artist).

[kalofi]

nami was the camera woman (paid handsomely with interest of course)

[limon-adventures]

[WHO CAME BEFORE US - HIGHBLOOD]

Ancestors concept for sticker or patches! Have this idea on my head since I’ve finished my Homestuck stickers. Hope you like it!

If you want to use them as icons, leave me a comment and maybe I’ll try to upload a set without watermark

[limon-adventures]

[WHO CAME BEFORE US - LOWBLOOD]

Ancestors concept for sticker or patches! Have this idea on my head since I’ve finished my Homestuck stickers. Hope you like it!

If you want to use them as icons, leave me a comment and maybe I’ll try to upload a set without watermark

[arsanatomica]

[dovne]

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

“are you wearing the-”

“the chanel boots? yeah i am”

[supd00dle]

I was too lazy to draw the other empty chair

[lobsterflaws]

🏠🎂