today, i got banned from the discord server (paid) for a youtuber i was really into for being too much of a transfeminist. for a few moments, i really did feel betrayed. parasocially, maybe, but at the end of the day this is somebody i paid money to, i had conversations with, i tried to support as a result of her transmisogynistic harassment campaign, all to result in this. womp womp whatever i sorta dgaf. i made the mistake of somewhat holding my own comments then. today is the day i remove that. from now on, i speak my most honest, true thoughts. i become as unlikeable as possible, so unlikeable that only those who truly want to be with me stay with me. and i surround myself with those for the rest of my life. thisll probably make it so that i only get a few friends. it might make it so that i only have my girlfriends. if i've misjudged them, it might just be me alone. i will have myself to comfort me, for the rest of my life and i will grow old, i will grow bitter, i will grow resentful. but i will be free.
