Alex Davis @sweetbutpsychic - Tumblr Blog

Keeping the kids in my sights these days. Someone bring me back some good wine from the festival.

#just pretend those are his kids haha #starter

ionlysingintheshower:

Her name is Dami. She’s new to the area, and her dad seems really cool. We should invite him over for tea sometime. And yeah, I pointed out that she looked a lot like Kendra actually. It’s weird.

It’s eerie, and I love eerie with tea. Makes people tip better for tea readings. Get Kendra to come over, the girls will be happy as clams on closed season.

#for you i will leave the pta out of it #i simply support our new friend dami in her quest

seasonofdami:

I’m Dami, and my dad had been professionally dodging the PTA moms for almost two decades now. Plus, he never checks his tinder because apparently he is too tech-unsavvy. I think he’s lying but that is fine. I’ll just swipe right for him.

I like the way you think, darling. And two decades? Seriously? Who hurt him? I mean the sweaters are questionable but he hardly looks like the backend of a bus.

#you are doing god's work trying to swipe right for that man #be blessed saint dami

ionlysingintheshower:

You know I like them. They definitely do it for me.

That’s what I like to hear. Now who is your adorable friend? You know, the one with the single dad who the PTA moms are definitely gonna troll tinder for?

#is it just me or does that pic with that jacket remind you a bit of your sister?????#WEIRD

andthebottlecalled-deactivated2

Of course not, chips ain't got retail value - it's all about trading for the colors and using them for a right time game of Pogs. Fuckers work better than those silly chips they had in those wee packets. You use them against even the Xmen pogs and boom! Winning out some lads lunch money for the week.

@sweetbutpsychic

sweetbutpsychic

Out of curiosity... did you ever actually go to a meeting? Or did you just rob a meeting and take all of the chips and the donuts?

#oh god #you're the dealer that chills outside and tries to catch them when they're vulnerable

ionlysingintheshower:

seasonofdami:

Yeah, Alex is my husband. He’s my crazy exuberant weirdo, brings a lot of joy and excitement to my life. Just one of the many reasons I love him.

You’re both forgetting that I have fabulous eyebrows. They are tens among these threes.

#jkjk i love you #my wholesome hubs

ionlysingintheshower

truth: Have you ever cheated on your boothing? Dare: get drunk and then pretend to be sober whenever you talk to people.

I have never cheated and will never cheat. I kind of won the husband lottery.

sweetbutpsychic

Fidelity is an incredibly sexy quality in a man.

#<3 <3 <3 <3

Truth: Who do you hate, and why? Dare: Update your online status to "I think eggplants are sexy."

Have we met? Done. I know, the world is shocked.

#Anonymous

important PSA

Status: Now, I know that this is going to come as a huge shock to the community. But I, the epitome of heterosexuality and a pillar of straight bro society... think eggplants are sexy.

#I know #hold your questions for the press release #i am not taking questions at this time #ladies you may mourn #but please do not tear your garments #unless they are ugly in which case please shred them #let your trauma allow you to rise from the fashion ashes

sweetbutpsychic

andthebottlecalled:

….. Try not to do uppers o’ downers? At a kick back? Aye, nah, lad - tried that life - even in AA right ‘ow, got chip and all, but partying sober? Thats a tall glass, higher then me nans and she smoked with sheep on a high hill, so that’s not looking good.

Honey, I think you need narcotics anonymous. You could go with your nan and her sheep.

andthebottlecalled-deactivated2

Ah nah, old nan and all her sheep be long dead - too much of the old scotch, made her flop as a corpse and straight down to the lawn. Great kreening though. ‘Side already did narc anon 26 times, got all me chips too but once you have angel dust, drink some red bull and vodka mixed, then life ain’t the same and the meetings get boring.

sweetbutpsychic

Ignoring this whole disturbing narrative with your nan and her sheep drug cult or whatever... I think you missed the point of the chips, my tweaked out friend. Thet are not trading cards or spoons or whatever else people are collecting these days.

#lord have mercy

andthebottlecalled:

….. Try not to do uppers o’ downers? At a kick back? Aye, nah, lad - tried that life - even in AA right ‘ow, got chip and all, but partying sober? Thats a tall glass, higher then me nans and she smoked with sheep on a high hill, so that’s not looking good.

Honey, I think you need narcotics anonymous. You could go with your nan and her sheep.

#am i having a stroke or is he not actually speaking english anymore???

andthebottlecalled:

I’ll give you that, pretty fair life hack. Should really separate the uppers and downers before handing them out, next time I get some proper bottles.