Dum spiro, spero

[sweetestdaydreamr]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ꒰ঌ ♡ ໒꒱ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ Azalea ; 18 ; she/her

Hello! Welcome to my little blog :)!! Here I wish to share silly stories I write, as well as small snippets of my life. English isn't my first language, but I'm trying my best. Everyone is welcome here! ⋆˚❀˖°

^. .^₎Ⳋ

Works I wrote:

𖹭 distractions (han jisung x reader)

[sweetestdaydreamr]

guys guys guys, today I will find out where I got in. please be medicine please please please be medicine.

[sweetestdaydreamr]

I GOT INTO MED SCHOOL!!!!!!

[sweetestdaydreamr]

guys guys guys, today I will find out where I got in. please be medicine please please please be medicine.

[fauxhollow]

TASY

[sweetestdaydreamr]

I ADORE TASY!!! 💖💕🎀

[rosylix143]

bruh i need a tasy plushie, a tasy pillow, a tasy keychain, a tasy teddy bear, and a tasy everything STAT!!

[sweetestdaydreamr]

LITERALLY ME TOOO!!! EEEKKK

Tasy is so cuteee 🥹💖 I love the little thing

I wonder if it's going to actually be sold as a plushie? Let's hope soooo

[sweetestdaydreamr]

For a while now, I thought I was doomed as a writing creator here on Tumblr, when I couldn't come up with a single idea of what to write

My mind is usually brimming with ideas, every moment of my life sparks something in me, but during exams my head was filled with other matters and after I finished my last exam I got employed and dove straight into work. So now I lay at night every day and can't come up with ANYTHING, seriously. I've never had this before, it's like my head is now an empty pot that makes a loud sound when I accidentally bang it

BUT!! It's 3am now, and I had discovered a niche indie band a few days ago, so I was listening to a song of theirs that I just love and suddenly- I got an idea!! YIPEE! I typed out roughly the start. Maybe I can manage to turn it into something that I can share on my little blog here...?

I'm really hopeful!! Maybe I'm not a lost cause actually and I can still piece together a little story? I do feel the buzz in my brain that I get when I wanna pour out a bunch of words. They're never perfect, but they're honest and that's what makes me most proud

I'll see what comes out of it. For now I shall sleep~ nighty night, if anyone is reading this!!

[sweetestdaydreamr]

The newest racha log, (ep23, I think?) the one with Han, Hyunjin and Changbin, is probably my new favorite

SO CUTEEE!!! AISJDHDDH I'm so happy to be a STAY because breakfast while watching racha log is SUCH a good way to start my dayy 🫢✨️ I'm so luckyyy

Now I have the energy to go study!! Lessgooo

[havingapoemwithyou]

above everything by David Ignatow

[sweetestdaydreamr]

I first saw this post when someone rebloged it some months ago, and this poem got stuck in my head ever since. It might be my favorite, since I can't stop thinking about it every so often

[sweetestdaydreamr]

GUYSSS, I'm holding on strong if anyone's interested. Me. I'm interested. Hhahaha

Come onnn, two more exams left and I'll be FREEEE

[sweetestdaydreamr]

I wish for a brighter tomorrow.

[sweetestdaydreamr]

The tomorrow was as bright as a black hole 😭😭😭 wtf?!?!?

[sweetestdaydreamr]

I wish for a brighter tomorrow.

[sweetestdaydreamr]

Yayayayyy I graduated school!!

Thank you so much for over 100 likes on my first ever fanfic!! I will resume writing things after my exams~ yeahhh, we have exams after graduation. The system is a little odd, but I did get two nominations: one for being top student and the other for amazing results in various olympiads

Woohoo!! This feels so crazy.

Anywayyyy~ I have tons of fun ideas for my next fanfic. I have also been trying to learn how to make my writing more engaging, but now is the most stressful time for me as I gotta get into med school, therefore that will be postponed.

But wait for my return~ I shall come back with a second little story, and I promise it will be better!! 🫶

[sweetestdaydreamr]

── .✦ DISTRACTIONS

ʚɞ pairing: han jisung x reader ʚɞ genre: angst, comfort ʚɞ synopsis: you were already having a bad day, bad week and bad month. misfortune after misfortune piling up until it all explodes. poor jisung, your coworker at the cafe, is left to witness the mess and does his best to comfort you ʚɞ wc: 3.3k

author's note: HI HIII! I am so happy to share this with you. This is the first work I've ever written. Any writing tips would be highly appreciated. I'd also be the happiest to hear anyone's thoughts about this! I had it in my drafts for quite a while, hesitating about posting it. But I'm taking the first big step, so here it is, voila~

10.23pm

Thirty seven minutes until closing. Your eyes bore into the digital clock, the numbers taking their sweet time to change. Thirty seven more minutes and you’re free to mope horizontally, preferably in the comfort of your bed, instead of vertically, as you are doing now while standing by the counter of an empty cafe. Not much of a difference. Thirty seven more minutes and nothing will change. Hell, you’d even rather stay here in the cafe, than count the misfortunes of your life back at your cramped dorm, where they seem to double in the amount.

Your place has a certain feel of misery. As soon as the door closes behind you, you become acutely aware that you can’t seem to keep up with your university’s workload. And loneliness weights down much heavier in your bones, enveloping you in a hug like a best friend. A false comfort.

Life seems to lose much meaning. The idea is daunting, so you blame it on exhaustion.

For your own sanity, you tend to avoid thinking about all of this completely. You just conclude it to being born under an unlucky star, and distract yourself, concealing your worries somewhere deep down.

10.30 pm

The shrill of a particularly annoying voice pierces the still silence of the cafe, carrying an insult directed at you, and your head snaps to the source.

"Yah! I heard that!" You yell back, and your eyes meet his. His dumb little insults do a good job at distracting you. As much as you hate to admit it, the noise in your head seems to dull when he’s being so painfully annoying.

"Heard what?” Jisung has that stupid cheeky grin on his face. Annoying you is like breathing to him. He lives to see your reactions.

You throw an empty paper cup at him, and the guy dodges, laughing loudly.

"Don’t you have work to do?" You ask with a sigh.

"Yes, I’m at it right now. It’s called “Testing yn’s patience”, really fun I must say.” He winks at you playfully. But when he’s met with a tired headshake, Jisung’s smile seems to falter a bit. He swallows.

Yes, that is Han Jisung. Your coworker, and a whirlwind of chaos. He’s not a bad guy by any means, just a bit of a dork. And although since the very moment you’ve met him all he’s ever done was piss you off, you don’t hate him. On the contrary, you feel as though he could secretly hate you. You just can’t seem to comprehend why he’d spend any energy on you. You feel like you’re draining to be around, so you’ve been trying to distance yourself from him as much as you can.

And you've successfully avoided that man for a whole month. You switched to work on days he doesn’t, and even took up evening shifts on weekdays instead of mornings on weekends.

But the universe loves to send you into a spiral, force you to reconsider your self worth any chance it gets. Therefore you two are the only ones on the closing shift today.

That means you’ve also spent the whole shift rethinking if you’re even a good person, and pondering why Jisung needs your constant attention.

10.35 pm

A few customers shuffle into the cafe, bringing in a gust of cold winter air from outside. You take their orders and move around behind the counter, preparing their drinks on autopilot. A few drops of coffee land on the counter, not a common occurrence, you have very stable hands most of the time. The exhaustion is starting to show.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather yourself together. Your mind begins revising your to-do list, which is waiting for you once you’re done with work. Right… Start studying for the exam on Friday, finish the assignment for--

"I bet you missed this beautiful face." Jisung says, ever so arrogantly, as he wipes your mistake off the counter. You blink a few times, confusion flashing your eyes for a moment.

“Who wouldn’t? I mean, we haven’t seen each other in like what… a month?” Jisung tsks, a smile plays on his lips. “You are just so lucky that I happened to change my schedule too.” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. They sweep over you from head to toe.

That sends a shiver down your spine. You’re not lucky. You’re anything but lucky. Luck doesn’t feel like hopelessness, it shouldn’t feel like bone deep tiredness.

"Jisung, do you ever shut up?" The words taste bitter on your tongue. You shut your mouth as soon as they leave your mouth, you shouldn’t be taking it out on your coworker…

The guy stops wiping the counter but his eyes seem to soften ever so lightly. He takes the drinks you just finished making and places them on the pick-up counter.

"Not when I'm with you, love." He says in a low voice, before turning back and calling the order out loud.

No matter how annoying that man can get, he isn’t a bad coworker at all. He is quick to prepare orders, and he has the perfect customer service smile. Underneath the bravado and professional facade, is a warm soul and a sweet boy.

It always feels so genuine, his smile. Like he’s radiating joy all day, every day. It ticks you off a bit. Makes you stare at your reflection on the coffee machine and wonder why can’t you be like that too? Even your customer service smile seems too practiced. Always forced.

Your shoulders are slumped as you get lost in thought, staring at the blurred reflection of yourself on the polished metal. God, you look… tired.

You hiss as a few drops of boiling hot water land on your finger, stinging like a bunch of needles piercing your skin. You bite down on your bottom lip.

"You good there?" Jisung asks with his back facing you. He’s closing up one of the cash registers.

"I'm fine" the words roll off your tongue so easily. A well practiced line. But are you, really?

You finish making another drink and place it on the counter.

10.45 pm

"Hey. Mind doing me a favor?" Jisung leans against the counter, now facing you.

"No, Han, I am not covering your shift tomorrow. Or any other day." You say, not turning to meet his gaze. You stare at the coffee machine.

His sudden laughter makes your heart flutter. You turn to look at him, a bit confused.

"Jeez, no, you idiot. I mean I wanna go to the restroom." As if on que, the bell above the door chimes. More customers. Must be the last few for the day. “Take over on your own for a few minutes.“

"I'll be quick! Promise." He shoots you that sheepish grin that makes your mouth unwillingly mirror his. It’s contagious.

"You better." You place another cup a little bit too roughly on the counter.

With the absence of your annoying coworker behind the counter, the thoughts come swirling back. To do list. Clock on the wall. What good are you for--

“Stupid…” You mumble under your breath. Such nonsense never really bothered you before. And even if it did, only for a short while. You miss those times of sweet oblivion.

But it's been weeks, it seems. And nothing's changing.

Two weeks ago, your friend group decided you were bellow them, you were trash. And trash gets thrown out, just like you did. And you got much less than perfect on your last exam. And the heater in your dorm broke down, while your roommate moved out to live with her boyfriend.

It's like life is slowly eating away at you, throwing every misfortune your way and seeing if you can withstand it. And all you want is just a little rest. Is it really that much to ask for?

Distractions. You have to distract yourself.

You close the lid of the last order made and your eyes slip to the digital clock on the wall. Huh, a while has passed. Where is Jisung?

Ten minutes left until closing and he's nowhere to be seen.

Oh you knew you shouldn't have trusted that lazybones! He just wanted a break!! You vigorously clean the equipment, letting out your annoyance on the task at hand.

The taste of blood fills your mouth. You hadn’t even noticed you’ve been biting down on your lip so hard. Your hand comes up to touch the sticky source of the metallic taste, when you hear someone come up to the counter. You turn around. 

"Hey you! I asked for ALMOND milk, not regular milk!!" A woman yells at you. Eyes wide, nostrils flared. Trouble.

Louis Vuitton bag, gentle monster glasses and designer clothes. You know better than to judge a book by it's cover, but you have a hunch that this lady is not easy to talk to.

"Ma'am, I'm truly sorry, but as I've already informed you we are out of almond milk. Either regular milk, or no milk" you say with the nicest voice you can make. When you were taking her order, she completely disregarded your words, leaving you to assume that she understood. Clearly that isn’t the case.

"Are YOU giving me attitude?!" She raises her voice. That makes you flinch.

You despise yelling. You already feel like a failure, this feels like life just proving you right.

"I apologize it it came off that way, I'm really not trying to be rude--"

It all happens so suddenly. Searing hot pain wraps around your torso and arms. The woman had just splashed you with her scorching hot coffee and it burns like hell. The pain feels surreal, so immense it wraps you in a hug of murderous intent.

You freeze in place, feeling like a lost child in a crowd of strangers, unknowing what to do. Your body aches and your mind is a beehive. All you can do is stare at her. The feeling of humiliation and hurt mixes with the unbearable sensations, until all that is left in your mind is a prayer for the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

"THIS CAFE IS SO AWFUL!! I ASKED FOR ALMOND MILK, YET IT SEEMS THE BARISTA IS DEAF!!" She screams at you, her voice shrilling and deafening. Her hand slams on the counter.

"OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID?!"

You take a deep breath. "I'm sorry-- I—" Your voice breaks and trembles.

"I will have to ask you to leave" a sharp male voice comes from behind you, void of the familiar teasing tone and warmth. "Or I will be forced to escort you out." He leaves no room for argument.

The woman seems to be surprised by Jisung's firmness. She opens her mouth, but when he takes a step forward and asks “Do you want me to get the police involved?” the woman grumbles under her breath and scurries away. The cafe is completely empty now, apart from the two of you.

"What a bitch!" Jisung hisses, before turning to look at you.

"Hey, are you okay? Does it hurt?" The worry in his voice stabs like a knife. Because it's so foreign, so unusual. You've never seen him like this. “Wait no-- that’s a stupid question to ask. Of course it hurts. Okay okay um… what should I do?!?” His words come rushed, he paces around you.

"Where were you so long? I thought you just ditched me and slipped through the back door already." You ignore his question, looking anywhere but his eyes, busying your hands with work. Because your eyes are dangerously close to breaking your crying abstinence score. Has it always been this hot in here? Your ears are burning up. You swallow the lump in your throat.

"Hey, I'm being serious." Jisung steps in front of you. "Let me help you.”

You step aside. "I'm also serious. Who shits for that long?" 

Jisung grabs your shoulder and turns you to face him. He hooks a finger under your chin and lifts it up. 

His brows are furrowed, and his gaze is piercing. You feel bare, naked in the light of his attention.

One deep look at you and he pulls away. His composure changes.

"Get changed, I'll close." 

Jisung spares you a glance when you don't move for a minute or so. "You heard me, love. Get moving, chop chop." He smirks, but his jaw is tense.

You sigh a breath of relief.

10.58pm

You change your soaked uniform slowly. Peeling off the uncomfortable layer, slipping into your oversized t-shirt.

Your eyes trail up your body in the mirror. Your skin is visibly red. It hurts. But your clothes helped protect from any serious damage. It’s fine, you’ll live.

And then your eyes make the mistake of meeting their reflection. There, like crystals under bright sunglight, are hot tears rushing down your cheeks. Dripping to the floor with no mercy for your image.

Nononono. You can't cry now. What the hell?? 

You frantically try to wipe them, but the supply is endless. And soon enough, you can't do anything about it. It’s an infinite waterfall.

You slide down, back against the locker, and pull your knees to the chest. You hide your face in your arms.

And then the door bursts open. Jisung, being the gentleman that he is, doesn't walk in immediately.

"You decent?" He asks loudly.

"No..." you croak out. Your voice is so raw.

"Oh... umm... I'll give you five seconds, okay? Unless you need more." His answer is unsure.

…

"Yn?" 

“I’m gonna look now!”

Jisung peeks his head in and freezes.

"Hey..." he starts softly. "You can't cry. I don't know what to do in this situation. It's unfair." Jisung laughs nervously. 

He walks over to you. Now, towering over you, he hesitates.

He wasn’t lying. It's fun to tease and fun to joke. But when it comes to real feelings...

"I'm not crying..." You mumble.

"Riiight." Jisung sighs deeply. Then you feel a hand on your head. He pats it awkwardly. 

 You lift up your head just to glare at him. "I'm not in the mood for this."

Jisung lifts his hands up in surrender. "Whoa whoa, alright." Then he sighs again.

Swallows. Looks at his hands. And your sniffling curled up form on the floor.

Your vision is all blurred as you follow his figure moving away to the lockers. He slips off his shirt, changing into a moss green T-shirt and a black branded hoodie. Pauses for a few seconds, then slings his bag over his shoulder and leaves, shutting the door closed. The loud click of the door is followed by a deafening silence, disturbed only by footsteps fading away. Your heart sinks and breathing becomes more rapid. Like a frightened animal separated from it’s family. Alone. You’re all alone, Jisung left. He never cared, right?

The realization of how little you matter to people confirms a doubt you’ve long since had. You never expected Jisung to do something grand. Not even stay. But you hoped he would at least say something before leaving. A meek excuse, to show that you are a person that matters enough to think twice before leaving.

Your world is falling apart. The dam broke, you knew it would, and you’re a puddle of tears on the floor. It was inevitable. But is it worth fixing? Give up, you think, just give up, it’s over for you. You have nobody and nothing but a pile of problems that you don’t feel like handling anymore. You just want to cry a river and then drown in it. Simple as that.

You still muffle your sobs with your arm. And curl into yourself more. 

And when all hope is lost and exhaustion takes over, when your tears have dried and you try to pick yourself up again, that’s when the door swings open and Jisung strides back.

"Hey… You look worse than before." He crouches in front of you. You can hear it, but you dare not look at him just yet.

“You left…”

“Did you actually think I would just leave like that?” His hand is on your knee.

“I know I can be annoying, but you matter to me.“ His voice is soft. “I went to lock up the cafe. I’m sorry, I thought you wanted a moment to yourself. I told you I’m not very good at this.” The boy sounds so genuine. Your heart cracks and you shyly lift your eyes up. How could it be that someone like you would be of any importance to the sweetest soul you know?

"Listen, I know there are days where everything is falling apart and you can't help but break too. Although I was sure you were secretly a robot who never rests and never breaks." That makes you grumble a "Han. Jisung."

“Right, right, sorry,“ he makes a short pause "What I wanted to say was, it's okay to cry, but maybe not here? I mean, no it IS okay to cry even here but it would be a bit more comfortable elsewhere, right? You get what I mean."

A hand on your head again. You feel the weight of it. The warmth.

The weight of being seen, being noticed and cared for.

"Come on, let's go." You lift your head up and you swear Jisung looks like he's about to cry as well, when he sees the tears in your eyes.

"I don't wanna."

"Want me to carry you?"

"Never mind..." you stand up. With a snotty nose, blotchy cheeks and eyes brimming with a new set of tears.

"Let's go to the front a bit" Jisung says.

You wait by te counter while he adds a lid to a cup and hands it to you. "I made you tea. That's why I took a while."

That's it. You start bawling your eyes out. Your whole body trembling with sobs.

"Alright alright, come here, my love." Jisung opens his arms and you don't even protest when he guides you to his chest. He’s so warm, it seeps to your bones and soul.

He wraps his arms so tightly around you, that it feels like a promise. A promise that it will get better… It feels as though he knows how much you are hurting, and all he wants to do is protect you from all that hurt.

---

Once your tears run dry, and you have grabbed your things, the two of you leave through the staff exit. 

It's a chilly night. Jisung doesn't even think twice before taking off his jacket and offering it to you.

Your measly attempt to play hard to get is defeated quickly, for Jisung simply pulls the hoodie over your head without letting you protest. The hoodie is undoubtedly too big, but nothing short of comfortable. It’s warm and fuzzy, and feels almost as nice as a hug from your beloved coworker.

"Let's go to my place." Jisung says as he pats your head. "You need some spicy noodles and a comfort movie". You nod and Jisung laces your fingers with his.

It wouldn't be the first time you've stayed over. No matter how much you try to avoid Jisung because you’re scared of the possibility that somebody may actually care for you, life always ends up bringing him back to you. It’s fate, as he likes to say. You push and he still stays. Jisung is a distraction from all that is wrong in your life, an antidote for your sadness and the half of your soul you had thought you were never going to find.

[sweetestdaydreamr]

Woaaah; I can't believe this got 80 likes and 1 reblog!!! That is INCREDIBLE. I am still trying to process that THIS MANY PEOPLE LIKED IT!!! (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

I can not express how grateful I am. Truly, genuinely. Thank you soooo much for reading it and liking it, people!! I know my writing is FAR from good and I have soo much to learn, but the fact that all these people took the time to read it and liked it anyway is insane.

I'll continue to work hard to improve how I write. And I promise to share more of my silly stories on here. I already have a little idea in mind hehehe~

Once again, thank you 💗

[channlust]

see you again!

or: you caught hyunjin's attention at a concert and he hasnt been able to get you off his mind since, but as fate would have it, he sees you again at a cafe.

warnings: nothing!! idol!hyunjin x artist!reader, nothing but fluff, really short n sweet, hyunjin is a clutz lol, based off a request from ages ago

The cafe was quiet, tucked between a laundromat and a convenience store that sold questionable sushi. It smelled like burnt espresso and vanilla, and the chairs were the kind that creaked when you shifted your weight. Perfect. No one would look for him here. He slid into an empty chair, tugging his cap lower over his eyes, and started to scroll through his phone.

he saw you.

you were two tables over, hunched over a sketchbook, head resting on your hand as you frowned at whatever you were sketching. a half finished latte sat forgotten next to your elbow. you were completely absorbed into your own world like the rest of the world blurred into static.

Hyunjin’s fingers froze mid-scroll. he’d seen you before. Not in some vague, half remembered way, but viscerally, like his ribs had just cracked open to make room for the memory.

It was you. the one who’d been right at the barricade, eyes wide and utterly unguarded while everyone around you screamed. you hadn’t even held up a phone to film him. Just watched and sang along with the backtrack.

He - embarrassingly so - spent days combing through fancams afterward, hoping to catch a glimpse of you in the crowd shots. Nothing. And now here you were, 10 feet away, absently smudging charcoal with your thumb.

The rational part of his brain—d part that knew he was Hwang Hyunjin, and idol with a schedule and a manager and a life that didnt’t involve approaching pretty strangers in cafes—told him to look away. But his body moved before he could think, chair screeching as he stood. your head jerked up at the sound, and for one breathless second, his eyes locked with yours.

you blinked.

The pencil slipped from your fingers, rolling across the table before clattering to the floor. Hyunjin watched your throat move as you swallowed, gaze darting from his face to the café door and then to his face again—he knew that look. He'd seen it in airports, in crowded streets, the split-second before fans realized who he was and lunged.

But you didn't lunge. Just tilted your head slightly, the moment of realization evident on your face.

"Sorry," he blurted, too loud. The elderly man by the window glanced over. Hyunjin winced and lowered his voice. "I mean—your pencil." He bent to pick it up, grateful for the excuse to look away from your stare. When he straightened, you'd flipped your sketchbook shut, but not before he caught a flash of what looked like...stage lights?

"You draw?" he asked, stupidly, because obviously you did.

"Badly." your voice was softer than he'd imagined, still rough with morning. "But it's...therapeutic."

Hyunjin hesitated—not because he didn’t know what to say next, but because he suddenly had too many things to say, all of them jostling for space behind his teeth. He could ask about the sketch, or the concert, or why you hadn’t filmed him like everyone else. Instead, what came out was, "Can I sit here?" He gestured to the empty chair across from you, then internally facepalmed. too FOrward.

But you just nudged your bag off the seat. "It’s a free country," you said, quiet amusement in your tone that made his shoulders relax.

He slid into the chair, acutely aware of how ridiculous this was. Him, Hwang Hyunjin, who’d dodged paparazzi in three different time zones, now fumbling like a trainee caught sneaking snacks past curfew. He spun the charcoal pencil between his fingers before handing it back. "You’re not bad," he said, nodding at her sketchbook.

you took the pencil, her fingers brushing his for half a second too long. "You didn’t see the rest of it," you muttered, fighting a smile at the praise.

and just then your sketchbook slipped off the table when you reached for your latte, hitting the floor with a soft thud. it's pages fluttered open—and there he was, one arm outstretched toward the crowd, sweat-damp hair catching the stage lights in a way that made him look almost ethereal. all portrayed through delicate lines of pencil lead.

Hyunjin’s breath stuttered. "That’s—"

you lunged for the sketchbook, cheeks flushing pink, grabbing it off the floor and clutching it shut. "Sorry—" he held his hands up, not meaning to startle you "You were there. at that concert"

your fingers curled around the edge of the sketchbook, half-tugging it back, then stopped. you exhaled, long and slow, like you’d been holding it since he sat down. "Yeah," you admitted, so quiet he almost missed it. "Third row"

"I know" he blurted way faster than he'd like, prompting you to raise an eyebrow at him.

"this is—" He reached out, then stopped himself. "Can I see it?"

you hesitated, then pushed the sketchbook toward him with two fingers, "Don’t laugh," you muttered.

Hyunjin’s fingers hovered over the sketchbook, barely touching the paper. and there he was, on stage when he’d stretched his arm toward the crowd, fingertips straining like he could pull the energy from the air itself. The lines were loose, but you’d captured the tension in his shoulders, the way his jacket had clung to his damp skin.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was raw, alive, like you’d scribbled it in a frenzy after the concert, chasing the ghost of the memory before it faded.

"You drew this right after," he said, not a question. the charcoal smudges at the edges seemed too urgent. the lines were rough, smudged in places where you’d clearly erased and redrawn

you shifted in your seat, "on the train home."

Hyunjin slid the sketchbook back toward you, fingertips lingering on the edge of the paper like he was reluctant to let go. "It’s incredible," he said, and meant it. Not the practiced, polite praise he gave fans during fan-signs, but something quieter, more honest. "You caught details even I didn’t remember."

"Like how you nearly tripped over your own shoelace during the chorus?" you chuckled at the memory

He gaped. "No one noticed that!"

"I did." your grin was lopsided, triumphant. "You recovered like a pro, though. Most people wouldn’t have seen it."

you looked down, tracing your fingers over the sketched lines. "I just draw what I see."

Hyunjin leaned forward without thinking, elbows bumping the table. "And what do you see now?"

The question hung between you, heavier than he’d intended. you studied him for a long moment—like you were tracing the lines of his face for future reference. "Right now?" you mused. "A guy who’s definitely not supposed to be here, judging by how your phone keeps vibrating."

His manager’s furious texts vibrated in his back pocket. what a buzzkill, He ignored them. "I’m exactly where I need to be."

you arched an eyebrow—calling his bluff without a word—and he cracked first, "Okay, fine. My manager’s going to murder me." he paused, shrugging, "Worth it, though."

"You’re ridiculous," you said, but your smile had softened . when you reached for your latte, the sleeve of your oversized sweater slipped down, revealing a smudge of charcoal along your wrist , like youd wiped your hand there absently mid-sketch. "Only when I’m nervous," he admitted before he could stop himself.

you paused, cup halfway to your lips. "And what exactly is making you nervous right now?"

just then, the barista approached the table with Hyunjins americano on a tray, smoothly giving him an apportunity to dodge your question.

"Hypothetically," he started, changing the topic "if someone wanted to see more of your art—"

"Hypothetically?" you echoed.

"—would they need to stalk more cafes, or is there a less creepy option?"

you laughed, sharp and sudden, like you hadn’t expected to. The sound sent his heart stuttering. "I have an Instagram," you offered. "But it’s mostly sketches and rants about my art history professor."

Hyunjin’s phone buzzed again—more missed calls. but he kept ignoring it. "Art history," he repeated, "So you’re-"

"Late for class," you finished, checking your phone with a sigh. you began gathering your things, and panic clawed up hyunjins chest.

"Wait." he called out. "You—" The words tangled in his throat. He couldn’t ask for your number outright. his manager is gonna kill him-

you arched your eyebrow, "I?"

he reached for a napkin, "You forgot your..." then snatched the pencil still in front of you, scribbling his number messily across the napkin. "-Receipt." He slapped it onto the table with the pencil above it.

you stared at the napkin, then at him. "That’s not a receipt."

"It’s a...metaphorical receipt." His ears burned. "For the pencil I picked up. You owe me another coffee date." he said cheekily.

you shook your head, snickering as you picked up napkin. "Is this how idols flirt? With stationery debts?"

"I’m not flirting," he lied, watching you carefully tuck the napkin into your sketchbook . "I’m... conducting a market survey. On..." His gaze landed on your half finished latte. "milk alternatives."

"right. because Hwang Hyunjin personally investigates milk shortages."

"Exactly." He matched your tone, then ruined it by grinning when you did. His phone buzzed again—this time with the distinct chime of his manager’s 'final warning' alarm. He swallowed a curse. "I have to—"

"Get murdered by your manager?" you cut him off. "Don’t let me hold you back."

Hyunjin stood up too fast—chair screeching, knees knocking the table—and promptly tripped over his own shoelace. The same damn shoelace youd teased him about earlier. "how smooth"

"I’m graceful," he insisted, adjusting his cap "Uh-huh." you zip your bag shut, eyes crinkling at the corners. "You should probably run before your manager sends a search party."

Hyunjin hesitated, one hand on the chairback. The napkin with his number peeked from the edge of her sketchbook like a shared secret. "You’ll—"

"Text you?" you place your elbows on the table, "Depends. Does Hwang Hyunjin reply to market surveys about milk alternatives?"

"Only if they’re submitted by a pretty girl I met at a cafe." he said, backing toward the door.

"just go," you laughed, waving him off. Hyunjin shot you a mock salute—then immediately tripped over the doorstep. The bell jangled violently as he caught himself on the frame. Behind him, your laughter chased him into the street, bright as sunlight through stained glass.

he's definitely gonna get bombarded with questions from the guys on why he's grinning so widely to his phone later that day.

a/n: okay a two-month-old request down, highkey wrote this ages ago and hate it but fuh it we ball.

taglist: @yourqueenlady @kloversung @hycnsung @seagulljk @g0matchi @eyyyylucieeee @zosauce @minniebitesfr @jazz7gnab @stormynight-240 @ariaaleelynn @pedropacals0l0s @caalcyon @hyunjinswife4ever @11racha @starlostjisung @straykitten88 @mandmilovehim @hanjinology @breakmeonce @carrotcakeesblog @supernaturalsunny @gwinamlvr @parkairis18 @g0obz @tumvlrgirlsblog @atetheluck @ivyonsaturn @shortcake-whoops @diiv9ne @avchannie @emeraldgem22

[sweetestdaydreamr]

This is SOOO CUTEEE!! Hyunjin is absolutely ADORABLE!

And the flow of conversation between him and mc feel so natural. Asbsbhdb I wish I were able to write this well, it's SO GOOD 🤭😽✨️

[sweetestdaydreamr]

── .✦ DISTRACTIONS

ʚɞ pairing: han jisung x reader ʚɞ genre: angst, comfort ʚɞ synopsis: you were already having a bad day, bad week and bad month. misfortune after misfortune piling up until it all explodes. poor jisung, your coworker at the cafe, is left to witness the mess and does his best to comfort you ʚɞ wc: 3.3k

author's note: HI HIII! I am so happy to share this with you. This is the first work I've ever written. Any writing tips would be highly appreciated. I'd also be the happiest to hear anyone's thoughts about this! I had it in my drafts for quite a while, hesitating about posting it. But I'm taking the first big step, so here it is, voila~

10.23pm

Thirty seven minutes until closing. Your eyes bore into the digital clock, the numbers taking their sweet time to change. Thirty seven more minutes and you’re free to mope horizontally, preferably in the comfort of your bed, instead of vertically, as you are doing now while standing by the counter of an empty cafe. Not much of a difference. Thirty seven more minutes and nothing will change. Hell, you’d even rather stay here in the cafe, than count the misfortunes of your life back at your cramped dorm, where they seem to double in the amount.

Your place has a certain feel of misery. As soon as the door closes behind you, you become acutely aware that you can’t seem to keep up with your university’s workload. And loneliness weights down much heavier in your bones, enveloping you in a hug like a best friend. A false comfort.

Life seems to lose much meaning. The idea is daunting, so you blame it on exhaustion.

For your own sanity, you tend to avoid thinking about all of this completely. You just conclude it to being born under an unlucky star, and distract yourself, concealing your worries somewhere deep down.

10.30 pm

The shrill of a particularly annoying voice pierces the still silence of the cafe, carrying an insult directed at you, and your head snaps to the source.

"Yah! I heard that!" You yell back, and your eyes meet his. His dumb little insults do a good job at distracting you. As much as you hate to admit it, the noise in your head seems to dull when he’s being so painfully annoying.

"Heard what?” Jisung has that stupid cheeky grin on his face. Annoying you is like breathing to him. He lives to see your reactions.

You throw an empty paper cup at him, and the guy dodges, laughing loudly.

"Don’t you have work to do?" You ask with a sigh.

"Yes, I’m at it right now. It’s called “Testing yn’s patience”, really fun I must say.” He winks at you playfully. But when he’s met with a tired headshake, Jisung’s smile seems to falter a bit. He swallows.

Yes, that is Han Jisung. Your coworker, and a whirlwind of chaos. He’s not a bad guy by any means, just a bit of a dork. And although since the very moment you’ve met him all he’s ever done was piss you off, you don’t hate him. On the contrary, you feel as though he could secretly hate you. You just can’t seem to comprehend why he’d spend any energy on you. You feel like you’re draining to be around, so you’ve been trying to distance yourself from him as much as you can.

And you've successfully avoided that man for a whole month. You switched to work on days he doesn’t, and even took up evening shifts on weekdays instead of mornings on weekends.

But the universe loves to send you into a spiral, force you to reconsider your self worth any chance it gets. Therefore you two are the only ones on the closing shift today.

That means you’ve also spent the whole shift rethinking if you’re even a good person, and pondering why Jisung needs your constant attention.

10.35 pm

A few customers shuffle into the cafe, bringing in a gust of cold winter air from outside. You take their orders and move around behind the counter, preparing their drinks on autopilot. A few drops of coffee land on the counter, not a common occurrence, you have very stable hands most of the time. The exhaustion is starting to show.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather yourself together. Your mind begins revising your to-do list, which is waiting for you once you’re done with work. Right… Start studying for the exam on Friday, finish the assignment for--

"I bet you missed this beautiful face." Jisung says, ever so arrogantly, as he wipes your mistake off the counter. You blink a few times, confusion flashing your eyes for a moment.

“Who wouldn’t? I mean, we haven’t seen each other in like what… a month?” Jisung tsks, a smile plays on his lips. “You are just so lucky that I happened to change my schedule too.” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. They sweep over you from head to toe.

That sends a shiver down your spine. You’re not lucky. You’re anything but lucky. Luck doesn’t feel like hopelessness, it shouldn’t feel like bone deep tiredness.

"Jisung, do you ever shut up?" The words taste bitter on your tongue. You shut your mouth as soon as they leave your mouth, you shouldn’t be taking it out on your coworker…

The guy stops wiping the counter but his eyes seem to soften ever so lightly. He takes the drinks you just finished making and places them on the pick-up counter.

"Not when I'm with you, love." He says in a low voice, before turning back and calling the order out loud.

No matter how annoying that man can get, he isn’t a bad coworker at all. He is quick to prepare orders, and he has the perfect customer service smile. Underneath the bravado and professional facade, is a warm soul and a sweet boy.

It always feels so genuine, his smile. Like he’s radiating joy all day, every day. It ticks you off a bit. Makes you stare at your reflection on the coffee machine and wonder why can’t you be like that too? Even your customer service smile seems too practiced. Always forced.

Your shoulders are slumped as you get lost in thought, staring at the blurred reflection of yourself on the polished metal. God, you look… tired.

You hiss as a few drops of boiling hot water land on your finger, stinging like a bunch of needles piercing your skin. You bite down on your bottom lip.

"You good there?" Jisung asks with his back facing you. He’s closing up one of the cash registers.

"I'm fine" the words roll off your tongue so easily. A well practiced line. But are you, really?

You finish making another drink and place it on the counter.

10.45 pm

"Hey. Mind doing me a favor?" Jisung leans against the counter, now facing you.

"No, Han, I am not covering your shift tomorrow. Or any other day." You say, not turning to meet his gaze. You stare at the coffee machine.

His sudden laughter makes your heart flutter. You turn to look at him, a bit confused.

"Jeez, no, you idiot. I mean I wanna go to the restroom." As if on que, the bell above the door chimes. More customers. Must be the last few for the day. “Take over on your own for a few minutes.“

"I'll be quick! Promise." He shoots you that sheepish grin that makes your mouth unwillingly mirror his. It’s contagious.

"You better." You place another cup a little bit too roughly on the counter.

With the absence of your annoying coworker behind the counter, the thoughts come swirling back. To do list. Clock on the wall. What good are you for--

“Stupid…” You mumble under your breath. Such nonsense never really bothered you before. And even if it did, only for a short while. You miss those times of sweet oblivion.

But it's been weeks, it seems. And nothing's changing.

Two weeks ago, your friend group decided you were bellow them, you were trash. And trash gets thrown out, just like you did. And you got much less than perfect on your last exam. And the heater in your dorm broke down, while your roommate moved out to live with her boyfriend.

It's like life is slowly eating away at you, throwing every misfortune your way and seeing if you can withstand it. And all you want is just a little rest. Is it really that much to ask for?

Distractions. You have to distract yourself.

You close the lid of the last order made and your eyes slip to the digital clock on the wall. Huh, a while has passed. Where is Jisung?

Ten minutes left until closing and he's nowhere to be seen.

Oh you knew you shouldn't have trusted that lazybones! He just wanted a break!! You vigorously clean the equipment, letting out your annoyance on the task at hand.

The taste of blood fills your mouth. You hadn’t even noticed you’ve been biting down on your lip so hard. Your hand comes up to touch the sticky source of the metallic taste, when you hear someone come up to the counter. You turn around. 

"Hey you! I asked for ALMOND milk, not regular milk!!" A woman yells at you. Eyes wide, nostrils flared. Trouble.

Louis Vuitton bag, gentle monster glasses and designer clothes. You know better than to judge a book by it's cover, but you have a hunch that this lady is not easy to talk to.

"Ma'am, I'm truly sorry, but as I've already informed you we are out of almond milk. Either regular milk, or no milk" you say with the nicest voice you can make. When you were taking her order, she completely disregarded your words, leaving you to assume that she understood. Clearly that isn’t the case.

"Are YOU giving me attitude?!" She raises her voice. That makes you flinch.

You despise yelling. You already feel like a failure, this feels like life just proving you right.

"I apologize it it came off that way, I'm really not trying to be rude--"

It all happens so suddenly. Searing hot pain wraps around your torso and arms. The woman had just splashed you with her scorching hot coffee and it burns like hell. The pain feels surreal, so immense it wraps you in a hug of murderous intent.

You freeze in place, feeling like a lost child in a crowd of strangers, unknowing what to do. Your body aches and your mind is a beehive. All you can do is stare at her. The feeling of humiliation and hurt mixes with the unbearable sensations, until all that is left in your mind is a prayer for the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

"THIS CAFE IS SO AWFUL!! I ASKED FOR ALMOND MILK, YET IT SEEMS THE BARISTA IS DEAF!!" She screams at you, her voice shrilling and deafening. Her hand slams on the counter.

"OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID?!"

You take a deep breath. "I'm sorry-- I—" Your voice breaks and trembles.

"I will have to ask you to leave" a sharp male voice comes from behind you, void of the familiar teasing tone and warmth. "Or I will be forced to escort you out." He leaves no room for argument.

The woman seems to be surprised by Jisung's firmness. She opens her mouth, but when he takes a step forward and asks “Do you want me to get the police involved?” the woman grumbles under her breath and scurries away. The cafe is completely empty now, apart from the two of you.

"What a bitch!" Jisung hisses, before turning to look at you.

"Hey, are you okay? Does it hurt?" The worry in his voice stabs like a knife. Because it's so foreign, so unusual. You've never seen him like this. “Wait no-- that’s a stupid question to ask. Of course it hurts. Okay okay um… what should I do?!?” His words come rushed, he paces around you.

"Where were you so long? I thought you just ditched me and slipped through the back door already." You ignore his question, looking anywhere but his eyes, busying your hands with work. Because your eyes are dangerously close to breaking your crying abstinence score. Has it always been this hot in here? Your ears are burning up. You swallow the lump in your throat.

"Hey, I'm being serious." Jisung steps in front of you. "Let me help you.”

You step aside. "I'm also serious. Who shits for that long?" 

Jisung grabs your shoulder and turns you to face him. He hooks a finger under your chin and lifts it up. 

His brows are furrowed, and his gaze is piercing. You feel bare, naked in the light of his attention.

One deep look at you and he pulls away. His composure changes.

"Get changed, I'll close." 

Jisung spares you a glance when you don't move for a minute or so. "You heard me, love. Get moving, chop chop." He smirks, but his jaw is tense.

You sigh a breath of relief.

10.58pm

You change your soaked uniform slowly. Peeling off the uncomfortable layer, slipping into your oversized t-shirt.

Your eyes trail up your body in the mirror. Your skin is visibly red. It hurts. But your clothes helped protect from any serious damage. It’s fine, you’ll live.

And then your eyes make the mistake of meeting their reflection. There, like crystals under bright sunglight, are hot tears rushing down your cheeks. Dripping to the floor with no mercy for your image.

Nononono. You can't cry now. What the hell?? 

You frantically try to wipe them, but the supply is endless. And soon enough, you can't do anything about it. It’s an infinite waterfall.

You slide down, back against the locker, and pull your knees to the chest. You hide your face in your arms.

And then the door bursts open. Jisung, being the gentleman that he is, doesn't walk in immediately.

"You decent?" He asks loudly.

"No..." you croak out. Your voice is so raw.

"Oh... umm... I'll give you five seconds, okay? Unless you need more." His answer is unsure.

…

"Yn?" 

“I’m gonna look now!”

Jisung peeks his head in and freezes.

"Hey..." he starts softly. "You can't cry. I don't know what to do in this situation. It's unfair." Jisung laughs nervously. 

He walks over to you. Now, towering over you, he hesitates.

He wasn’t lying. It's fun to tease and fun to joke. But when it comes to real feelings...

"I'm not crying..." You mumble.

"Riiight." Jisung sighs deeply. Then you feel a hand on your head. He pats it awkwardly. 

 You lift up your head just to glare at him. "I'm not in the mood for this."

Jisung lifts his hands up in surrender. "Whoa whoa, alright." Then he sighs again.

Swallows. Looks at his hands. And your sniffling curled up form on the floor.

Your vision is all blurred as you follow his figure moving away to the lockers. He slips off his shirt, changing into a moss green T-shirt and a black branded hoodie. Pauses for a few seconds, then slings his bag over his shoulder and leaves, shutting the door closed. The loud click of the door is followed by a deafening silence, disturbed only by footsteps fading away. Your heart sinks and breathing becomes more rapid. Like a frightened animal separated from it’s family. Alone. You’re all alone, Jisung left. He never cared, right?

The realization of how little you matter to people confirms a doubt you’ve long since had. You never expected Jisung to do something grand. Not even stay. But you hoped he would at least say something before leaving. A meek excuse, to show that you are a person that matters enough to think twice before leaving.

Your world is falling apart. The dam broke, you knew it would, and you’re a puddle of tears on the floor. It was inevitable. But is it worth fixing? Give up, you think, just give up, it’s over for you. You have nobody and nothing but a pile of problems that you don’t feel like handling anymore. You just want to cry a river and then drown in it. Simple as that.

You still muffle your sobs with your arm. And curl into yourself more. 

And when all hope is lost and exhaustion takes over, when your tears have dried and you try to pick yourself up again, that’s when the door swings open and Jisung strides back.

"Hey… You look worse than before." He crouches in front of you. You can hear it, but you dare not look at him just yet.

“You left…”

“Did you actually think I would just leave like that?” His hand is on your knee.

“I know I can be annoying, but you matter to me.“ His voice is soft. “I went to lock up the cafe. I’m sorry, I thought you wanted a moment to yourself. I told you I’m not very good at this.” The boy sounds so genuine. Your heart cracks and you shyly lift your eyes up. How could it be that someone like you would be of any importance to the sweetest soul you know?

"Listen, I know there are days where everything is falling apart and you can't help but break too. Although I was sure you were secretly a robot who never rests and never breaks." That makes you grumble a "Han. Jisung."

“Right, right, sorry,“ he makes a short pause "What I wanted to say was, it's okay to cry, but maybe not here? I mean, no it IS okay to cry even here but it would be a bit more comfortable elsewhere, right? You get what I mean."

A hand on your head again. You feel the weight of it. The warmth.

The weight of being seen, being noticed and cared for.

"Come on, let's go." You lift your head up and you swear Jisung looks like he's about to cry as well, when he sees the tears in your eyes.

"I don't wanna."

"Want me to carry you?"

"Never mind..." you stand up. With a snotty nose, blotchy cheeks and eyes brimming with a new set of tears.

"Let's go to the front a bit" Jisung says.

You wait by te counter while he adds a lid to a cup and hands it to you. "I made you tea. That's why I took a while."

That's it. You start bawling your eyes out. Your whole body trembling with sobs.

"Alright alright, come here, my love." Jisung opens his arms and you don't even protest when he guides you to his chest. He’s so warm, it seeps to your bones and soul.

He wraps his arms so tightly around you, that it feels like a promise. A promise that it will get better… It feels as though he knows how much you are hurting, and all he wants to do is protect you from all that hurt.

---

Once your tears run dry, and you have grabbed your things, the two of you leave through the staff exit. 

It's a chilly night. Jisung doesn't even think twice before taking off his jacket and offering it to you.

Your measly attempt to play hard to get is defeated quickly, for Jisung simply pulls the hoodie over your head without letting you protest. The hoodie is undoubtedly too big, but nothing short of comfortable. It’s warm and fuzzy, and feels almost as nice as a hug from your beloved coworker.

"Let's go to my place." Jisung says as he pats your head. "You need some spicy noodles and a comfort movie". You nod and Jisung laces your fingers with his.

It wouldn't be the first time you've stayed over. No matter how much you try to avoid Jisung because you’re scared of the possibility that somebody may actually care for you, life always ends up bringing him back to you. It’s fate, as he likes to say. You push and he still stays. Jisung is a distraction from all that is wrong in your life, an antidote for your sadness and the half of your soul you had thought you were never going to find.

[sweetestdaydreamr]

I think I'll actually post my little fic today!! My first actual work that I put a lot of effort in. A stupid silly little project, but special because it's uniquely mine.

EEK I'M SO GIDDY TO SHARE IT ONLINE!! HEHEHE

Even if I'm the only person to see it, who cares? It will be out in the open. And maybe, just maybe, a person could find some comfort in it. I'd be the happiest person in the world if it touched somebody's soul.

But I'm happy to just share it. That's a big step anyway!!

I think I should create an introduction page beforehand 🤭

AJSHSJDBHDDJHE LET'S GOOO

[sweetestdaydreamr]

That lovely feeling when I write my English academic writing mock exam and can tell how awful it is. I go to my parents, crying about how stupid I am and they say "well not everyone is born smart, so it's okay." Gee, thanks, glad to know I wasn't wrong...

Smh, being aware of being less mentally capable than all of my peers is a different kind of hurt. I am incapable of writing well, incapable of grasping concepts quickly (I take hours upon hours), incapable of forming cohesive thoughts. It's all a mess... I'm not sure how much I can open up here, but I suppose some people could relate, right?

I dream of med school yet the truth lays clear in front of me - my stupidity takes away any chance I've ever had. That always leads me to ponder what is my worth. Getting personal now, are we? But I think everybody measures their worth in one way or the other.

Siiiiigghhhhh.

I am dumb and incapable, yet I still intend to write a fanfiction or a few and post them. It may hold no value in the face of all the beautiful works published here, but it will be mine, and I will feel much less lonely sitting in my useless little life.

[sweetestdaydreamr]

At least my English teacher said she liked it, my mock exam, I mean. She graded it full marks. And then she told me I should study literature or languages.

Perhaps in another life. I want to be a medic in this one. I will become a doctor.

I feel that literature, arts, poetry, all of it makes up my soul. Therefore I don't want it as a career path, it is something dear I cherish, something sacred. I want to keep it that way. I want it to be a secret side of me, for it is the way I live life, the way I see things. I see everything in a way unique to me, and trying to capture it all with pen and paper, or paint on canvas, shall be my solace, not a job.

Is this cringe to write? I don't know. Is it stupid? Likely so. I'm sleep deprived and rather stressed so I don't really care. And at the end of it, I think I'm the only one reading these posts. I doubt anyone finds it interesting, so I can feel free to express myself however