i'm not much, but i'm his

Mary. 24. Soulmate of Julius Mulciber. I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife. Offer me that deathless death, Oh god, let me give you my life.

[sweetgentlemary]

Aligning With Violent Men Shouldn’t Lend To Such Surprise || Severus/Mary

[purityorpower-blog]

Severus Snape was a walking, spell-casting contradiction. He was wholesomely confused and hardly understood where he fit in in the world. This pattern evolved from his childhood as a young boy, and since that time, it had been in his best effort to suppress it. Severus wanted to consider himself a black-and-white individual, to shed his ambiguity to others, because those who did not delve too deeply into his past, he was nothing but a venomous Potions practitioner. There was nothing to question, nothing to hide. No tricks up his robe’s sleeve. However, in reality, he felt terrible conflict bubbling in his soul. He sought to hold great power, great responsibility! To finally be respected after being kicked to the ground and rendered insignificant for so many years! To be /someone/! To be worth /something/! But then there was Lily. A childhood platonic love that blossomed into one-sided romance which he knew that he could cultivate to be mutual if only he abandoned his greedy obsession for recognition. Severus found himself at a crossroads, and neither side could be chosen without consequences from the other.

The pair continued to walk swiftly. Severus could not afford to postpone his movements to answer Mary. He would have to multitask. However, the black hues did flicker to hers as he had not expected such a bold inquiry to leave her lips. The knowledge that Mary could be forthright pleased him though; maybe the character prior to Julius’ arrival still existed as he hoped. “Why do I care?” He repeated. Severus needed a believable answer. Something honest but not overly-revealing. He pondered this deeply. “I care about you, Mary,” he said gently. “We have similar goals.”

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary stared at him blankly for a few moments as she hurried along in his wake. Similar goals? That made no sense. She bit her lip, trying to hold in the question, before deciding that if he was going to get angry at her for questioning him, he probably would have done so already. “What do you mean we have similar goals? I don’t... I don’t even have goals, not really. Not that are mine, anyway.” She was rather good at mirroring back what people expected from her. Agreeing with everyone was how she survived from time to time. But that didn’t make their goals hers. She was suddenly very intrigued by what someone like Severus thought she stood for, thought that she was, beneath all the acquiescing and the docility. 

She couldn’t see how he thought they aligned with his own. He was, after all, a part of an organization that thought very little of people like her- she had a sinking feeling that were it not for her connection with Julius, quite a few of them would kill her without a second thought. But then... his soulmate was a muggleborn, too. And he loved her, she could see that. He wasn’t faking that. Well... he might be. She knew that it was possible. But in her heart, she didn’t believe it. He cared about her. His entire demeanor shifted when he was looking at her. And now he was saying that he cared about Mary, as well. Because they had similar goals. “What...” she hesitated for a moment. “What goals do you mean?”

[viciouslupine]

Been Looking For Something More | Mary & Remus

[viciouslupine]

“I was on an important mission for the Order. It was…honestly it wasn’t that bad. I was made for that mission. I wasn’t safe. None of us are. But I accomplished a lot on my mission. That’s why I was gone for so long.” He explained vaguely, hoping some of it would comfort her. “But I returned because of…..” He paused, unable to bring himself to say the words. “..Peter’s death.”

He allowed his gaze to fall to his cup of tea as the waves of grief threatened to overpower him. Saying the words out loud felt so much more final than anything before. Even when he was with James and Sirius, a part of him felt as if Peter was away on a mission and would return the next day. “Peter is gone and no one is safe.” Remus said in a low voice that betrayed his emotions. Looking up hesitantly, Remus met Mary’s gaze. Imagining Mary meeting the same fate as his best friend, Remus stopped a soft whine at the back of his throat. He had to protect her.

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary felt her eyes filling slightly with tears. She hadn’t known Peter. His death had no reason to affect her. But she knew that it was affecting Remus and James, and she considered both of them her friends. It was painful to watch them going through this. She reached out hesitantly, putting her hand on top of his gently, hoping that it was going to lend him at least some measure of comfort. 

“I don’t think anyone’s ever been safe,” she whispered. “Not truly. The war’s always been going on, we just couldn’t see it.” It probably was the opposite of reassuring, but from what she knew it was true. There was so much in the world that was happening behind the scenes, and it was there that this had been brewing for years. “Remus, you’re not going to...” she bit her lip, breaking off for a moment before continuing shakily. “You’re not going to do anything... ill-advised, are you?” She had visions of him and his friends jumping into battle, going after Emmeline... but Emmeline was surrounded by Death Eaters, and getting to her would be no easy feat.

[tedblack-soulmate-blog]

Baby Steps || Ted & Mary

[tedblack-soulmate-blog]

Ted watched as she drank in his words of reassurance - reassurance that Julian still had use for her - like water in the desert. It made his heart twist sharply with pain but it also reminded him of one of the key facts about his practice: he couldn’t change people. He couldn’t change people and he shouldn’t try. All he could do was try to help them make their situations better. And to do that, they had to want it. And he couldn’t force his clients to do that either.

“Mary, you don’t have to apologize to me.” Ted reminded her gently. “All of your reactions are fine, you can’t do anything wrong here. And if I thought that something like that was on the horizon I would be honest with you. I always am, aren’t I?”

Ted knew that Mary and Julius couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t last forever. But the termination of their relationship was completely in Julius hands and at the moment, he liked things exactly as they were. Still… he was trying to get a point across. The termination of things might be totally in Julius’ hands but perhaps he and Mary together might have the power to adjust some things.

“There isn’t just one way to have a relationship.” Ted spoke clearly and gently, hoping his tone would make her accepting of his words no matter how foreign they were to her. “I know you’re not 100% happy with how things are right now, your habit of running away and coming back proves that. I’m not saying things are ending or that things should end. I brought you here to see how open you were to the idea of your dynamic changing a bit. For example, maybe if you had your place it would ease some of the the stress for both you and Julian. It could be a good change.”

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary stared at him as he talked, then immediately started protesting out of habit. “Of course I’m happy, I don’t mean to run, I just...” she bit her lip, stopping herself, and looked into his eyes for a moment. It was Ted. It was safe here. She could say what she felt without fear of repercussion. It had taken her a long time to see that, and she still lost sight of it at times, but she reminded herself of that simple fact: what she was feeling was okay. She could admit it, even if she couldn't anywhere else. 

“Sometimes it’s just too much,” she whispered, still looking at him, fighting the urge to crumple in on herself. “He gets so angry and everything I do is wrong and I just...” she shook her head. “I run,” she continued softly. “But it’s my fault. My fault for making him angry in the first place, and for not being strong enough to take it when I do.”

A small part of her recognized that what she was saying didn’t quite make sense. But addressing that would mean admitting that everything she’d built her life around was a lie, so she shoved it away as she always did, shaking her head once more as if to dismiss the thought entirely. It was her fault. It was selfish and horrid of her to think anything else. 

She looked back at Ted, tilting her head. “Do you really think he’d be happier if I had someplace else to be, if I wasn’t always underfoot?” She wasn’t sure about that. On one hand, it might make things easier, but on the other... if he wanted that, she couldn’t imagine him not just saying so. She didn’t even consider whether it was something that she wanted. That was a confusing line of thought, as her emotions were similarly split on the matter, but beyond that, she knew that what she felt just wasn’t as important as what Julius would think. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Aligning With Violent Men Shouldn’t Lend To Such Surprise || Severus/Mary

[purityorpower-blog]

Despite Severus’ terribly repressed kindness, as genuine as the emotion was, he still possessed brutality. He was not of strong physique, standing at a lanky height, but holding the body mass of a twig. He hardly found comfort in nutrition, and did not opt to eat until his mind was swimming with unbearable headaches. Brutality was an ideal, not measured by the size of an individual’s muscles, Severus decided with Slytherin cunning. Brutality was the tendency of the soul to be unwaveringly dark. His could be.

He wanted to strangle Julius in some instances. When he watched the man abuse his soulmate, even if not before him directly, but rather seeing the scenes play out by the ways with which Mary spoke, a consuming rage filled the Slytherin that could not be explained or defined. But in those moments, he did seek bloodshed. In others, Julius was nothing more than a peer, someone who at least was competent at wielding a wand and displaying loyalty to the Death Eaters. Severus was almost sure that the abuse towards Mary outweighed the good in Julius. Severus was becoming rather protective of the young woman, and this knowledge frightened him into submission. “We need to go,” he reasserted once more and nodded towards the entry. “Follow me.”

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary stepped forward, following him as he made his way out of the shop. She looked up at him, still not sure why he was helping her. It didn’t quite make sense. He had no obligation to her. Perhaps it was because Lily was fond of her, and he was very fond of Lily. But somehow that didn’t seem to be the entirety of the story. If that was all it was, then he might be polite to her. This was far more than just being polite. This was actively trying to help her, trying to keep her safe. He was doing more than Julius had, and Julius was her soulmate. 

“Why are you helping me?” The question slipped out before she had a chance to stop it. “You said that I was your equal, but... why? I don’t understand...” she shook her head, looking down for a moment before gazing back up at him. “I don’t see what you have to gain.” That was the way that most of the Slytherins, worked, wasn’t it? They made their choices based off what would be most advantageous for them. They rarely did things that they didn’t think would benefit them, in the end. And perhaps that was why Severus was doing this, but if it was, she couldn’t follow the line through to it’s endpoint. She didn’t think he was lying to her, but then, she didn’t understand how he believed what he was saying either, not when he was part of an organization that was aiming, at least in part, to wipe out people like her. 

[inamatus-black]

Gotta Get Away | Sirius + Mary

Sirius was sore and exhausted but he needed to get out of Malfoy manor. The nausea from whatever spell Emmeline had hit him with had mostly worn off but he still couldn’t move very fast. Apparating wasn’t an option even if the wards permitted. which he doubted very much given that if the manor wasn’t already on high alert, they probably would be soon.

Emmeline was no doubt on her way to tell all the Death Eaters about the intruders (mainly: Sirius, but possibly also Remus) and if she didn’t alert them to a presence inside the manor, the guest that Sirius had stunned would probably tip somebody off. The poor fellow had had the misfortune of hearing the racket that Sirius and Emmeline had made, and had stupidly come to investigate. He had also been unlucky in the fact that Sirius had been able to point a wand by the time the door had opened and well – now he was lying stunned on the floor upstairs.

Sirius had made it to the bottom of the staircase before he had to stop and throw up. He didn’t feel too bad about it; no doubt the Malfoys wouldn’t even have to clean the floor themselves. Then he pushed himself forward and back down the hallway that he and Remus had taken from the kitchen. He hoped that Remus was alright. He hoped that James didn’t have another reason to punch him when this was all over.

He tried not to think about how he’d failed as he shuffled down the hallway, one hand sliding along the wall to keep him upright and centred. All that effort and he hadn’t even managed to kill Emmeline in the end. This whole thing had been a waste of time – but at least he’d made it to the kitchen now, which meant that the exit was close. Sirius was so focused on that thought that he didn’t bother to check if anyone was in the kitchen before he opened the door and stumbled in.

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary hadn’t known what was happening. She’d slipped into the kitchens after her encounter with Rabastan, kept quietly to one side and made herself a cup of tea. Normal tea. Or, well, abnormal tea she supposed. Normal in this world meant the special blends that everyone was so attached to. But to her, tea would always be what she’d had with her mother, sitting at their kitchen table late at night or early in the morning, before she went to work or after she got home. Luckily, it was easy enough to make, and no one seemed to mind if she made herself some from time to time. 

She had been just finishing her cup, enjoying the warmth and the comfort that it always brought, when the door burst open and a figure came through. She jumped back, her hand tightening on the cup. The kitchen was normally a safe place to come. No one came down here, except on some occasions Narcissa, to give orders to the elves. And this certainly wasn’t Narcissa. This was someone quite a good deal taller, and for that matter male. For a moment she thought it was Regulus- finding Regulus in the kitchens wouldn’t be so out of the ordinary, she supposed. From what she could tell, he often showed up in odd places.

It took a moment for her to properly recognize the figure. Sirius. Regulus’s brother, her mind supplied. James’s and Remus’s friend, it added helpfully. Then: an Order member. She was torn between running, shouting for help, and staying still. He looked as though he’d been in a fight, so clearly someone else already knew he was here. Unless he’d killed them. Good lord, he could have killed them. He had reason to go after quite a few people in the house. 

If it had been one of the others, she might have hesitated longer. If it had been James, she would have given pause, and seeing Remus would have stopped her dead in her tracks, but Sirius Black didn’t call up such tangled feelings of loyalty. The dominant thought that raised to the surface of her mind was that he was here to hurt someone, that he probably already had, and that for all she knew he might target her next, if only because she was in his way. She opened her mouth to call out for Julius or Ted or someone, breathing in a gasp of air in hopes of getting enough volume that someone would hear her, before letting out an ear-piercing shriek. She didn’t know if anyone would hear her, but by god she was going to try to alert them to what was going on. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Every breath seems far too loud || Mary/Rabastan

[theother-lestrange]

Rabastan wanted to laugh at her response. It was the kind of obedience one would ask of a slave but maybe that’s what the girl had become to Julius. She bowed her head meekly and did as  she was bid; she was like a trained animal. “I’m not your soulmate,” he said, as if either of them needed reminding. His chosen soulmates were not nearly as timid as Mary; if anything he was the most timid out of the three of them. And he certainly wasn’t anything like Julius, taking in a mudblood soulmate and allowing her to sit with them at gatherings. Rabastan supposed he would have preferred no soulmate to a mudblood’s name on his skin, but it was hardly fair that Mary had a true soulmate and he didn’t. It was like destiny was laughing at him by placing this girl in his midst (after all, he could hardly avoid Julius, could he).

“You don’t have to follow my orders but you still would, wouldn’t you?” Rabastan had thought that he could figure her out by speaking to her but it turned out that she wasn’t that complicated after all. Her meekness, her willingness to obey even when there was no indication that she needed to, was as distasteful as her background and almost pitiful to watch. Rabastan sighed in disgust and motioned in the direction that Mary had originally been walking towards. “I think you should find somewhere else to be. Don’t come back to the room; your distress is obvious and it’s distracting.”

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary stared up at him for a moment, before nodded and turning away. All he’d done was given her permission to do exactly what she’d been doing in the first place. Really she should be grateful to him. Now she had an excuse for why she was disappearing, should Julius ask her later. She was a bit unsettled by the hatred in Rabastan’s voice, but by now she was used to it. Sometimes it felt like everyone here hated her, for some reason or another, even though she knew that wasn’t completely true. It just seemed that way when so many of them were so open in their distaste.

She thought back on his words, confused. Wherever had he gotten the idea that she didn’t have to follow his orders? Of course she did. Firstly because Julius would be angry if he knew that she was disrespecting one of his compatriots, much less a Pureblood, a Lestrange, of all people. Beyond that, there was the fact that he could easily hurt her himself if she didn’t comply with his wishes. Many of the other Death Eaters would, after all. They expected to be obeyed and were often harsh and vicious when their desires weren’t met with the proper deference. She had no reason to believe that Rabastan wouldn’t raise a wand or a hand if she defied him. Was he really so ignorant of his own power? Had it just always been there, always been so present, so absolute, that he didn’t even recognize it? 

[sweetgentlemary]

Aligning With Violent Men Shouldn’t Lend To Such Surprise || Severus/Mary

[purityorpower-blog]

Severus nearly forgot the unfolding disaster around him. Frankly, he reflected very little on the air of violence surrounding him. He was impassive, but highly competent, and possessed higher skill sets concerning dueling and charm-casting than his fellow wizards and witches. Among the Death Eater ranks, he was also remarkably awed at. Even Julius could not touch him in such categories, perhaps lending to the dislike that the man, at times, felt for him. Instinctually, Severus often felt inclined to harm the man because of Mary’s mistreatment, but such outward emotion would betray him, and would most certainly strip him of the high position that he held among the ranks. He was the largest of hypocrites, and Severus sometimes felt that he did not deserve to wear the black cape and the mask and to beckon the others with the Dark Mark. Not because he was in love with a muggle-born, but because he was indecisive, and though this quality was not outwardly acknowledgeable, one day, it would land him in brilliant distress and trouble.

He almost questioned Mary as to why she was looking at him with such wise orbs, but Severus was an intelligent man, and no fool to ignorance either. She was thanking him. The dark brows knitted in evident confusion until the metaphorical lightbulb alighted his overactive brain. This was a natural response for little Mary. Little, sweet Mary who would never hurt a fly. “Do not feel indebted,” Severus nearly whispered to her, his tone soft, but firm. “You are my equal,” he surprised himself by saying but knew that somewhere in the darkness of his soul that he meant the words. “Nothing less- now.” He paused. “We need to get you out of here somehow. I’m assuming that you do not want to stay here.”

[sweetgentlemary]

His words hit her like a wave. Her mind, for some reason, went to a memory from her childhood. Her mother had taken her to the beach- she couldn’t quite remember how they’d gotten the money for it, but she’d been there for a day, playing in the water, darting out into the waves while her mother napped on the beach. She’d been almost fearless, far less timid than she typically was, enchanted by the sea. But then a bigger wave had come, knocked her over, swept her under the water. She’d thought she would drown for a moment, but then she’d come up, her head breaking the surface, laughing all the while. She’d not been scared off by that, but just stayed in the water, even though she kept getting knocked down, right up until her mother woke up and yelled for her, dragging her off to relative safety.

She wasn’t sure why she was remembering that now, except that the feeling was somewhat the same. She felt as if she’d been knocked over by his statement. That was something that someone like him- a Death Eater, a Slytherin, proud and fierce and impassive as a stone- had never said to someone like her. She was so shocked that for a moment she didn’t respond, she just stared up at him. “I....” she blinked, shaking her head for a moment to clear it. “Thank you,” she said, sincerely. “And I...” she sighed, wrapping her arms around her once again. “I should probably leave, yes. Julius saw me, earlier.” Her voice was hollow. “He told me to get out of here and then... well, I think he went back to the fire.” She was still worried about that. Anything could happen to him. He could get hurt, he could get killed, and she couldn’t do anything about it. She supposed that that wasn’t much worse than what could happen on a normal day, but this somehow felt more present, more real. 

[viciouslupine]

Been Looking For Something More | Mary & Remus

[viciouslupine]

Remus breathed out a sigh of relief at her response, finally feeling calm enough to bring his cup up to his lips for a sip of the hot liquid. “That’s a relief to hear, Mary. I know you can take care of yourself…but I worry.” He admitted, continuing to eye her out of concern. He hated the simple idea of her being surrounded by such awful people. she was too innocent to be dragged down by such darkness.

But at her question, Remus averted his gaze. He didn’t want to lie to her, but if he told the truth, he would cause her unnecessary grief. Running a hand through his hair, Remus sighed again. “I’m alright, Mary. I knew what I was getting myself into when I signed up for the Order. None of us are safe. Not really..” His voice trailed off as he thought of Peter and his chest tightened painfully. “I’m just happy to be back in London. I’ve been away for far too long.”

[sweetgentlemary]

She was even more worried at his answer. He wasn’t reassuring her. He wasn’t denying the fact that he was in danger. He was just... just accepting it, and that, that was frightening. She knew Remus wasn’t the type of person who would lie to her, but she also knew that if he thought she was worrying over nothing, he’d quickly correct her. The fact that he wasn’t meant that it was just as serious as she’d suspected. 

“Are you... are you sure, Remus?” she asked haltingly. “Were you...” she looked down at her tea for a moment, taking a sip. “I know you shouldn’t tell me. I know that. It’s not safe, and you’re completely right not to. I just...” she looked back up at him. “I need you to know that I’d never hold that against you. I understand that you can’t tell me things. And I don’t want you to tell me anything that would get anyone hurt. Get you hurt...” her voice trailed off, the words falling away as she gazed into his eyes, hoping that he was hearing her. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Every breath seems far too loud || Mary/Rabastan

[theother-lestrange]

“There’s no need to lie,” he assured her, though he supposed lying might have become a natural reflex for her when she dealt with Julian on a daily basis. “You’re absolutely terrible at it.” She had no real need to fear Rabastan; he wasn’t known for torturing people, even with his words. He much preferred to employ understanding and patience to get what he wanted. That didn’t mean that he held any respect or care for her however. He would have quite happily seen her dead, mudblood that she was, if not for Julian’s inappropriate obsession with her. Rabastan noticed her glancing behind him and chuckled, entirely amused at her concern. “No one’s followed me out. Your whereabouts are not that fascinating.”

He regarded her cooly, giving her more attention then he possibly ever had in the past. “I suppose the conversation might be hard to listen to, for someone like you.” Someone like you could have meant a myriad of things: her blood status, not being a Death Eater, never having killed someone (or so he assumed). The way he said the words said that he implied them all at once and disdained every single part. “You can’t go and spend time with the other women though can you?” He didn’t need her to answer but he was interested to see if she would say anything. Her general demeanor suggested not but Rabastan wasn’t above being surprised. "How do you spend your time with us, Miss Macdonald?“

[sweetgentlemary]

She seemed to be getting that question more frequently of late. Mary tilted her head, trying to come up with a proper response. “I do whatever is asked of me,” she cast her eyes downward, as she’d been conditioned to. That was the long and short of it. She was around to do whatever Julius required of her. And sometimes to help others, if they wished. But she knew that she wasn’t as useful as she could be. If she was talented in some way, maybe she could be of more use to people, but she knew she wasn’t. She hardly even realised that the voice telling her that sounded more like Julius than like herself. His voice had been whispering in her head for so long that she barely noticed it anymore. 

Looking up at Rabastan, she saw the flicker of amusement and the disdain that followed. It was par for the course, really. He treated her basically the same as everyone else did. “Is there something you need from me?” she asked softly, trying to diffuse the tension that she was feeling. If he told her to do something, then she would know where she was standing, what she was expected to be doing. She’d never been very good when she didn’t know what was expected of her. That was one thing she was grateful to Julius for. He was always telling her what to do, and she’d been relying on that for so long that she’d forgotten how to think for herself. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Lovelines Assignment 001: Passions

If you asked Mary Macdonald what she was passionate about, what she believed in, she’d tell you that there was nothing. That she didn’t have any passions. She’d stare at you with wide eyes, trying to decide what you wanted her to say. That was what she always tried to be: whoever people want her to be. She doesn’t think that she’s anything on her own.

But just because she doesn’t see it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t there, inside her. If she was more than what she recognised, well, it’s hard to blame her. Over half her life has been dominated by a figure who tried his hardest to keep her docile, keep her believing that she was nothing, that the only meaning her life had was that which he projected onto it. So Mary doesn’t even realise the patterns in her life that weave the tale of what it is that she’s passionate about, a pattern that is about far more than just her Soulmate and his desires.

Something that Mary has always been interested in is books. When she was younger, she went to the library with her mother every Wednesday afternoon- the only afternoon her mother wasn’t working. She’d pick another book and often end up reading it by the time Thursday morning came around. She always found comfort in stories, using them as a way to escape from her dull existence. This tendency only got stronger when she went to Hogwarts. There were so many books there, so many new, exciting stories. It wasn’t at all strange to see Mary with a book in her hands, and to this day, she’s often reading. So much of her life is spent waiting, after all. She had to find some way to amuse herself, and reading was something that not even Julius could find it in himself to strenuously object to. For a time, he would often censor what she was reading, only allow her to read books he approved of, but she went through them so quickly that he eventually gave up on that pursuit. It wasn’t like she was reading spell books, after all. All she read were stories, and there wasn’t much harm in that.

More recently, there have been other things that Mary feels strongly about. There isn’t much that can make her fight back. She never raises a hand or a wand to defend herself- she won’t even raise her voice. But within recent years, there has been something that will make her eyes flash with anger and has lead her to speak out in her own timid way against the one person that everyone thinks she’d never gainsay. Julius hadn’t been expecting it at all when he’d mentioned off-hand the age of his latest victim; the last thing he’d thought would happen was his sweet, docile Mary going stiff and turning to him with blazing eyes, as if she had a backbone, as if she was an actual person. He’d punished her harshly for her outburst of You can’t do that to a child, but still the same response came every time it was mentioned, despite his attempts at curtailing her. The thought of anyone harming a child was something that Mary couldn’t reconcile in her mind, and is still the only thing that will cause her to react and at times even speak out.

But if there is one thing that Mary believes in, truly believes in, above all else, it’s love. She herself has found that she does love her soulmate, deeply. And she knows of others who do as well: just look at Ted and Andromeda. She’s never seen two people more in love with each other. But if she were to come across two people who loved each other truly, even if that wasn’t exactly what their marks said, Mary would support them. She doesn’t see that as a possibility for herself, and perhaps doesn’t even realise the contradictory nature of that sentiment. After all, she has been convinced that her soul mark means Julius has ownership over her, but she’d never expect to hear such a thing about Ted and Andromeda. Still, at the end of the day, she stays by Julius’s side as much because she loves him as because of any destiny. The very idea of love, to her, is the light that makes the world worth living in, and she cannot abide hearing anyone tell her that what she has isn’t love. She doesn’t pretend to think Julius is bound to love her, but she knows that she loves him, regardless of anything else.

[sweetgentlemary]

At the end we're all just lonely souls || Severus/Mary

[purityorpower-blog]

“Mary, when I think of you, I do not contemplate Julius.” The tone was cool and composed, but also firmer than its usual impassive nature. Severus took another calculated bite of his eggs, never one to exactly draw attention to himself either. He was well-respected and a Death Eater, but he was a quiet cunning who sat in the back, spoke only when absolutely necessary, and brewed potions without a single roll of the tongue. “I rather consider those times during our School Years that you performed a rather interesting charm.” The smallest of smiles shaped the man’s lips as he recollected, “Do you not recall? The time during which a spout of clear water left your wand to accidentally color a Slytherin face?” The memory was distant, and it had been the only action of Mary’s to be so bold. But it was a promising ideal to Severus Snape. He could seldom accept the broken woman whom Mary had become, and the memory served to bring him the hope that perhaps, the fragmented girl could surface from her objectification as whole and individual.

“I recall finding the feat rather humorous,” the Slytherin concluded and after several peacefully quiet moments, the slight grin simulated into its regular-pressed line. “Nonetheless,” he prompted with a sip of the acidic juice, a feeling of cold isolation traveling down the expanse of Severus’ throat. “That is my opinion, and I believed it to be worthy of outward statement.”

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary blinked in surprise. She hadn’t realised that he would remember that. She’d only been about fourteen at the time, cornered by some of the more vicious of Julius’s housemates. She hadn’t even tried to cast the spell. She’d been terrified and the water had just shot from her wand. Luckily, it had shocked them long enough for her to skitter away. Unfortunately, it hadn’t been the last time that they’d gone after her. Future Death Eaters tended not to scare easily, and it took far more than a spout of water to do so. Typically the only way to stop things was if Julius himself intervened, if he was so inclined.

She looked over at him, tilting her head, taking another bite of her eggs. “I didn’t think anyone remembered that,” she said softly, the ghost of a smile pulling at her lips. She wasn’t sure that he was correct in his opinion of her, but it was warming her heart that he thought so much of her. “I never thought you...” she bit her lip. “That you even noticed me, frankly.” She glanced up at him nervously, not sure how he’d take to her being so brazen with him. From how he’d been so far, she would be surprised if he got angry, but she had learned long ago that it wasn’t wise to underestimate people or assume that they would always be kind to her. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Aligning With Violent Men Shouldn’t Lend To Such Surprise || Severus/Mary

[purityorpower-blog]

There had once been a muggle novel which captured a terrible disparity between the rich and the poor. Though the monetary element did not align with Severus Snape’s thinking, the setting certainly complied with his perception of his surroundings. The Alley was scorched with fire and hot ash, sweltering every element in their path. Magical folk screamed and ran for cover, many of them blocked by the arrival of dark, hooded cloaks. There was a repressed- but still prominent- part of Severus that prompted him to go forward. To embrace these people whom he claimed to be his brethren. Those who were like him in both value and action, but they were different all the more. They were rigid, pure blood supremacists. Severus Snape was stiff, but he was madly in love with a muggle-born woman, and for this woman, he would do anything- at least he told himself this. The ash and soot strongly resembled that of the Valley of Ashes, and Severus half-expected to stumble across a depressed George Wilson, sitting idly as his life wasted away.

Now, however, was not the time for reflection. Severus had a duty to perform. Well… Two responsibilities, one of which was something he had taken ethically but not contractually. Protecting Mary. He scanned the scene, imagining that the young woman was frightened. To avoid suspicion, he would not aid the Death Eaters, directly, but he would remain unseen. He would not help, he would not hurt. Severus Snape was the perfect bystander. When he could avoid all possible onlooking eyes, the dark-haired man slipped into the Red Storefront to see a nervous Mary with her arms across her chest. He looked on at her until their eyes met in greeting.

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary turned when she heard someone enter the store, feeling a thrill of fear for a moment before realising that it was only Severus. He looked as impassive as ever, barely ruffled at all despite the scene that he’d just walked through. If she hadn’t seen it herself, she’d never have guessed that he’d just witnessed the aftermath of an explosion, waded through the chaos that prevailed after the attack. There wasn’t a hair out of place and it seemed as if the ash hadn’t dared to settle on his cloak. Next to him, she was sure that she looked a sight. She hadn’t even remembered to grab her cloak as she’d rushed out of the shop, her hair was disarrayed, her dress still askew from when she’d fallen, stained with ash and dirt. She’d never been able to keep herself pristine with the same grace that those who’d been raised in the wizarding world. It was one of the many things she did that often angered Julius. 

She stepped closer to Severus, glancing up at him, the questions clear in her eyes. She didn’t voice them; if he wanted to explain, he would. She was sure that if he wasn’t so inclined, there was likely nothing she could say that would sway him. He was stoic and known to hold his own counsel, while she was just some mudblood that he was taking mercy on. It was more than she deserved, and she felt it out of place to ask any more of him. She hoped that her eyes reflected not only her confusion, but the thanks that she felt as well. 

[tedblack-soulmate-blog]

Baby Steps || Ted & Mary

[tedblack-soulmate-blog]

“That’s not… no.” Ted sputtered, confused at how she ad come to that conclusion. He and Julius rarely spoke. Julius hated him, considered him mudblood scum. Even if Julius had decided he was through with Mary Ted was certain he’d be the last person to hear about it.

Sighing he wiped a hand over his face and tried to find the words. More shocking than Mary’s false conclusion was her reaction to it. Was her bond with her soulmate truly so strong, so impervious, that the thought of being separated from him scare her so much? He didn’t feel nearly so dependent on Andromeda. And he wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Was it love? Real, true and honest love? A love that Ted couldn’t fathom matching in dedication. Or was it simply just another brand of delusion that he would have to attempt to pull Mary out of? His gut told him it was the second option and he felt his heart break, just a little for the woman in front of him.

“Mary.” He said firmly. “This is completely and entirely my idea and it seems like it was a bad one. Of course Julius wants you. You’ve been together since you were practically children and you’ve always given him what he wants. He’d be a fool not to want you and we both know that while Julius is many things, he’s not stupid.” He paused. “Perhaps we should just go back to the office, have some tea, calm down and then you can go home.”

[sweetgentlemary]

She practically sagged with relief as Ted spoke, the fear seeping out of her. He wasn’t done with her. He wasn’t leaving her- or, more accurately, he wasn’t kicking her out, abandoning her to wherever she’d land. She knew that he was wrong, though. She hadn’t given Julius whatever he wanted. She couldn’t give him what he actually desired- because she’d never be a proper soulmate. She spent all her time trying to make up for that, trying to please him as best she could, but she couldn't change the circumstances of her birth or her upbringing. If he could have chosen, he’d never have picked her. 

“I’m sorry, Ted,” she said, her voice only shaking slightly. “I’m fine, I promise. I just thought...” she bit her lip. “I thought he’d finally tired of me. That you were trying to prepare me for that.” She knew it would happen eventually, though she didn’t like to think about that. Julius never made any attempt to hide the fact that he had no plans to marry her or have children with her or make any sort of commitment. She’d long given up dreaming about such an ending to her story. That wasn’t how the world worked, not for girls like her. 

She blinked a few times, yanking her focus back to the man in front of her rather than the man who always dominated her thoughts. “But Ted, I don’t...” she tilted her head. “Why bring me here then?” she asked, confusion clear in her voice. “I don’t understand.” Was he just making some point? She knew he had to be, but she couldn’t grasp what it was supposed to be. 

[viciouslupine]

Been Looking For Something More | Mary & Remus

[viciouslupine]

Remus nodded, mentally considering the perfect tea to order her. Though at her whisper, his thoughts were dragged from the tea back to their conversation. “I know Mary. But…you’re the one who has to live with him,” he explained in a quiet voice. “I also want to talk though…despite the danger. You need a friend and I want to be that friend.” Reaching out, he squeezed her hand quickly before pushing his chair back and standing up.

“I’ll go order us some tea,” He said with a soft smile, turning to walk towards the counter before she could protest or change her mind. He wanted to treat her, mostly to help relieve some of the guilt he felt from leaving her. But also because she deserved to be treated nicely. After a short time at the counter, he returned to the table with two hot cups of an herbal tea that contained a relaxing mix of chamomile and other flowers that he knew would help ease some of her nerves. He wanted her to feel entirely comfortable around him after all. “So…the war..” he began hesitantly, looking up at her with concerned eyes. “Has it effected you much? The Death Eaters….haven’t threatened you, right?” He hated asking her something so dark but had been extremely worried about her safety since learning she was still with Julius. So he had to ask.

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary shook her head in response to his question. “No, they haven’t. Of course they haven’t. They have no reason to.” She was the opposite of a threat. She was just a mudblood, of course, but she was... well, a tamed mudblood. If anything she was aligned with them. There was the same disdain as always, but it wasn’t anything more than that. The war had ramped up, certainly, but she wasn’t a target. No one wanted to cross Julius like that, and Julius’s actions towards her didn’t have anything to do with the war. 

She took the tea, smiling her thanks. “I’m safe, Remus, really. As safe as I’ve ever been.” She was surrounded by dangerous figures, it was true, but she managed to mostly fly under their radars. That wasn’t necessarily true for him, though. “But what about you? You’re back, but...” she looked over at him. “Are you safe, Remus? Are you okay?” She wanted to ask where he’d been, but it was probably safer for him if she didn’t know. Unless it was something completely innocuous, he most likely didn’t want Julius knowing, and hence shouldn’t tell her. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Every breath seems far too loud || Mary/Rabastan

[theother-lestrange]

Rabastan had nothing against gathering with other Death Eaters and talking about their business but after a while he’d heard all the stories and it became a little suffocating. He didn’t really have anything to offer in the way of a tale, only various pieces of information that he’d gathered, and while he liked to sit back and listen, enough was enough. He almost wished that he had stayed home where no one would expect him to participate. Thankfully enough – something more interesting finally presented itself in the form of the young woman slipping out into the hallway. No one else seemed to have noticed, or cared enough to go after her, so Rabastan took it upon himself to take notice of her exit.

Usually he wouldn’t have bothered with someone like Mary Macdonald but she was slipping away from her ball and chain (or was it the other way around?) and following her might provide something more entertaining than hearing Crabbe’s story for the third time this week. He slipped out after her, closing the door quietly behind him and following her down the hall. “Was the conversation not to your liking, Miss Macdonald?” He asked, hoping that his abrupt presence might make her jump, at least a little. It was Julius’ prerogative to torture her; Rabastan just wanted to see how she would react. “I’m surprised that Julius brings you with him if you’re so opposed to them.”

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary turned around at the sound of a voice, her eyes wide as she saw who it was. Of all the people who might have followed her, Rabastan Lestrange was not a name she would have guessed. She bit lip, still not having control of that little quirk, that tell that made it oh so obvious that she was uncomfortable or unsure. Surrounded by those who’d been trained to decorum from birth, they could probably all read it from a mile off. Anyone who ever had doubts about Mary’s suitability only had to watch her here for a few moments before it became glaringly apparent that she was from a different world, and had very little in the way of any natural talent that would make up for it. 

“I’m not...” she shook her head, taking a step backwards instinctively. “I’m not opposed.” Of course she wasn’t. That was an opinion, after all, and she was trained not to have those, not to counter anything that Julius thought or believed with something as silly as beliefs of her own. Though as much as she tried, that didn’t mean she didn’t still have them from time to time. She knew better than to admit such a thing to Rabastan, of all people. “I was just getting a bit of air. Nothing more,” she glanced behind him, trying to see if anyone else had followed him out of the dining room. 

[viciouslupine]

Been Looking For Something More | Mary & Remus

[viciouslupine]

Pulled from his thoughts by the sound of the door opening, Remus looked up to spot Mary coming in. His face broke out into a wide grin before he could stop himself and he stood as she approached, not taking his seat until she was settled in herself.

“Hi,” He responded softly, not even knowing where to start. Her sitting across the table from him felt so casual, almost as if London wasn’t in the grips of a war and there hadn’t even been a bombing the day before. “Are you hungry or thirsty? We can order whatever you would like.” He offered, gesturing to the front counter. “Or we can just talk. Whatever you want. You are the one…putting yourself at risk by being with me….” He wasn’t entirely sure why he said it, but deep down he was trying to give her another opportunity to get out. To keep from entangling herself in a dangerous web she might come to regret. He knew being around him was dangerous in more ways than one and he would hate for his presence in Mary’s life to become a negative.

[sweetgentlemary]

Mary glanced over at the counter, considering. She sometimes had issues even ordering food in a restaurant, always feeling like she was being a bother, like she was imposing on someone. But that was silly, she knew that was silly. “Tea would be lovely, thanks.” Tea would be perfect. It would calm her nerves, hopefully, and make things feel a bit more normal.

She sighed, looking down for a moment. “That’s not true,” she whispered. “You’re just as at risk as I am.” Julius wouldn’t kill her. Or at least- she had to hope that he wouldn’t. Ever since that realization when she was at James’s flat a week ago, she’d been shoving the thought down. If he was going to kill her, after all, wouldn’t he have done that already? But him going at Remus- or James, for that matter- wasn’t at all outside the window of possibilities. “Though I would like to talk. If you want to.” She didn’t want to be forcing him into this, appealing to his better sensibilities, making him feel guilty for choosing to protect himself from getting tangled up in this dangerous situation. 

[sweetgentlemary]

Every breath seems far too loud || Mary/Open

He’d been keeping her close all night. Which wasn’t necessarily what she was used to, recently. Julius in a good mood was becoming a rarer and rarer sight. Tonight, though, he had her by his side, an arm thrown over her shoulder, a hand resting possessively on her thigh, fingers running idly through her hair. He wasn’t really paying attention to her. He didn’t speak to her, and everyone else at the gathering followed suit, ignoring her like she was just some accessory of his, barely sparing her a second glance. The most she’d gotten was the ghost of a smile from Severus Snape, gone as soon as she’d recognized it, and a few moments of empty conversation from Narcissa while Julius and Lucius talked of their 

She should be pleased. She should be glad that he wanted her with him instead of leaving her at home or banishing her out into the hallway to wait for things to be over. But all Mary was feeling was suffocated. She hated this type of meeting; all it ended up being was a stark reminder of what exactly it was that her Soulmate did. The other Death Eaters weren’t being at all considerate of her presence. They were talking about their exploits as if she wasn’t there. She hated it, hated hearing about all the pain that they caused. As soon as she could, she slipped out into the hall, taking a moment to breathe, wandering quietly away from the festivities far enough that she could pretend, just for a minute, that the man she was in love with wasn’t talking about all the people he’d hurt, tortured, killed.