Aro Love

Hey I'm T (they/them) and this is my blog devoted to all forms of non romantic attraction and love. please submit posts, send asks and keep things PG :) My other aro blog is @arohugs if you are interested. Icon by @depressedaro . follows back as @0x0tash0x0. Terfs, exclusionists, truscum and pedophiles dni.

[aroffection]

hi! i’ve been in the aro community for a couple years now but i’ve just started to label my queerplatonic attraction as such. there’s a lot i don’t know about what’s “normal” for qp attraction i guess. is it possible to be queerplatonically attracted to someone like a celebrity? or is it only people you know personally? i’m still learning a lot about my identity :) thank you! 💚

Hi!

I'm actually not sure, I don't think queerplatonic attraction is exclusive to people you know personally. Maybe my followers can help you out better than I can.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to be of much help, I hope you had a nice day 🌻💚

[aroffection]

Just wanted to add that I do experience "crushes", at least I think they are crushes. But my "crush" feelings are very dim and go away kinda quickly (usually in a few weeks, faster if I get close to the other and notice that my feelings might be reciprocated). I also tend to "crush" on any guy I begin getting close to, and I think it's romantic because I want to kiss them and all? Thanks a lot for reading!

First of all, hi! And I hope you are doing well,

Second of all, idk if I can be of much help, though I will try to.

Now you very could well be arospec, from what you have described there are several greyromantic identities that may fit. Same thing as regarding the actual attraction, despite your want of romance it might not necessarily be romantic attraction that you experiencing, it may be alterous or sensual or quasiplatonic/queerplatonic. As you said you wanted to kiss your crushes but that not inherently mean that the attraction is romantic, though for most it is a strong indicator. Romantic attraction is weird and hard to define, even for alloromantic people. Really the best place to start looking is at aromanticism.org which is all you need to know about the aro spectrum and has a bunch of glossaries and ressources. From there once you narrowed things down then maybe look at people experiences to give you a clearer idea.

However, as I have said before to anybody that comes to me for advice about things like this, please don't over stress yourself about finding the exact label or about changing labels as many times as you need/want. You can opt for an umbrella term or a super specific term to describe your experience and both are great options, just as long as you feel comfortable and happy.

I hope this was at least a lil bit helpful, if you need anything else, you are welcome to drop by again anytime. 💚🌻

[aroffection]

Hey, I'm ace and super confused rn. I've been in a ton of relationships (10+), but they always fall apart after weeks to months because I realize that I don't know if I love the other romantically or platonically. I haven't been in a relationship for the past 2 years and never felt better. But deep inside I really want to experience romance, be in a relationship etc. I'm pretty sure I'm on the aro spectrum, I have no idea where though. Any advice to help me find out more about this part of me?

Answer under second ask

[aroffection]

Same like how can you make someone feel better when they're feeling shitty like I care about them but I know there's nothing I can do to help them and it pains me. (sorry for the rant, a friend of mine is feeling bad and I empathized with your post feel free to ignore)

Hey no worries! Honestly it's a hard situation for everyone involved because the sad person often starts to feel worse because they feel like they are bothering you/dragging you down with them.

Normally my go to is feed the sad person/distract them with something they like and/or give them a huge hug (or whatever way they prefer to be comforted) but rn that's impossible with the current situation so I was just sitting there on my bed looking at them through vc and just :(

I think the best we can do is remind our loved ones how much they mean to us and that we have their back, though it may not feel like much but if you've ever been on the other end of this situation you know it does, just knowing that your friend/family member/ partner cares about you and your well being.

I hope you evening/day is despite all of this still going okay 💚🌻 my inbox is always open if you want to chat

[aroffection]

You know when someone is sad and they notice you noticed and are concerned about it? so they try to smile and seem happy but really it's just even more concerning because their smile is sad and faltering ? That breaks my fucking heart and I hate being so powerless and unable to help.... It's the fucking worse

[aroffection]

Been clear that it was fully platonic and so I didn't have to worry about any of that Romance Stuff. I don't think I've ever had a crush on or been into anyone romantically. Now I'm not sure if it's because I might be attracted to women or because I'm aro. I'm scared to put myself out there again though, because I'm so uncomfortable in Romance Coded Situations - but then again, I've only ever been with guys. Should I try it out with a girl, even if it might give me anxiety? Thank u x (2/2)

Hi!

First of all I'd like to clarify that I am just giving the best advice that I can give with the info I have and my limited experience.

Okay so, I think that you should maybe start by giving yourself a break. Clearly this has been weighing you down for some time and you need to be able to breathe.

No matter if it's romantic relationships with men specifically or just romantic relationships in general that you have issues with, I think that trying to let things happen naturally, without putting pressure on yourself to try at another romantic relationship just so you can """verify"""" which label fits you best is a good idea. Specially since it would cause you anxiety.

Please don't put yourself in an undesirable situation.

Also, aromanticism is a spectrum and you may fall anywhere on it, however you don't need to stress about the specifics, you can use the aromantic label even if you aren't sure, same with any other label.

I think I have changed labels as often as I change my underwear, and nobody has ever given me heck for it.

It's okay to label how you feel in the present even if it's maybe not how you'll feel in the future or how you felt in the past. We evolve and it's only normal that the terms we use for ourselves do too.

I know it's easier said than done, but learning to just be, and enjoy being who you are now, is important. And often, the answers come when we aren't looking for them.

I hope this was at least a little bit helpful, if you have any other questions, concerns or want any sort of reassurance feel free to drop by again. Have a nice day/night 💚🌻

[aroffection]

Hey! I've been struggling with my identity for years now and I dunno what to do. I've always been very comfortable around my girl friends and I am very affectionate with them. I love cuddling them and connecting to them on a deep level. I've only ever been with guys before though, but after a month or so it gives me so much anxiety and stress that I always leave the situation. I'm not at all at ease with guys like I am with girls. I'm not sure if it because with my girl friends it's always (1/2)

Answer under the second part

[aroffection]

I love my cat so much!!!! I'd give my life for that cuddly bastard man

[aroffection]

I have made so many posts about friendship and other forms of non romantic love but I feel like I have overlooked familial love and I want to change that.

I'm starting a thread about familial love!! RB with stories, letters to a family member (found or blood related) of why/how much you appreciate them.

I'll start!

I am so proud of my dad. I feel like at home we don't talk about how much this man has changed how many efforts he'd made to better himself. He went from a jealous possessive husband that fucked off to the other end of the globe after a bitter divorce to a man who fought tooth and nail to bring his new family and the old one together. He accepted the fact that he made bad decisions as a father that resulted in his second child not wanting to be around him. He tries to fix that everyday, he does everything he can to make her feel wanted and supported while giving her the space he needs. This year he took half of his yearly vacation time to drive me back to the college town I live in (8hrs away from where he lives) just so he could spend an extra weekend with me over the summer. He is genuinely interested in his kids interests and goes the extra mile to help them with their passions and learn about them to talk about said passions. I love him dearly and I wish that his growth was recognized more.

[aroffection]

i recently developed a squish on someone i only talked to once. any tips on how i should go about it?

Hi! So I’m unsure if you want advice on how to talk to your squish about your feelings or how to act around said squish, but I will give you the best advice I can.

I am horrible in social situations, really, and talking about things like that is really hard and extremely awkward for me, so I’m not really a person to ask about talking to your squish about your feelings toward them. However, I would say, since you have just talked to them once (probably more now since I took so long to answer this), start by getting to know them better. By becoming their friend (or at least something close to that) it will give you a better idea on how to approach them if you do want to be open about having a squish on them and if ever a qpr is something that you’d like.

 Also, enjoy that sort of high that getting to know someone you have a squish on brings. It just brings inexplicable joy to me when I talk to my squishes, so I try not to stress about anything else and enjoy their company! I think that we worry too much about technical stuff instead of simply being happy and living in the moment, I know it’s easier said than done ( I am working on this myself) but it is something to keep in mind. Things will flow naturally, let that start and let yourself and the other person create a relationship to start with, then see where you want it to go. 

I hope this helps a bit, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you were looking for and I’m sorry that I took so long to respond. I hope you had a wonderful day anon, good luck :)

[aroffection]

HI i just wanted to say, as an aro filled to the brim with Aro Love, im glad this blog exists! i hope you have a great day

Thank you so much!!! I'm happy if this blog bring joy to you 😊I hope you have a wonderful day 💚🌻

[aroffection]

Hey, is it an aro thing that every time I have a crush on someone and then find out they like me back I’m just like NOPE and get all anxious and get the heck out of there?

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I've been really busy.

But to answer your question, It can very well be. Personally, this is how it was when I was in highschool. Since I didn't actually want romance and I thought that someone I had a "crush" on might like me romantically, it disappeared or I felt extremely uncomfortable.

I think, I read this long ago, that there is a specific term/identity for people who feel romantic attraction towards someone until the feelings are reciprocated (I know the opposite exists so it would be logical but idk). I would look into more greyromantic identities, because although I am greyromantic, I'm sadly not that involved anymore with the community. Followers maybe you can help?

However, it can just be linked to a discomfort with romance/romantic relationships/commitment on it's own, without it being an Aro thing. Really only you can establish the difference.

The most important thing though, is to remember that even if you can't explain this, or some other experience you have as an aro(TM) thing, you still can ID as aro or arospec if you think the label fits.

I hope you had a nice day 🌻💚

[aroffection]

I have been reminded by @the-rose-owl that I was talking about akoiromantic/lithromantic!! Thank you

[aroffection]

Hey, is it an aro thing that every time I have a crush on someone and then find out they like me back I’m just like NOPE and get all anxious and get the heck out of there?

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I've been really busy.

But to answer your question, It can very well be. Personally, this is how it was when I was in highschool. Since I didn't actually want romance and I thought that someone I had a "crush" on might like me romantically, it disappeared or I felt extremely uncomfortable.

I think, I read this long ago, that there is a specific term/identity for people who feel romantic attraction towards someone until the feelings are reciprocated (I know the opposite exists so it would be logical but idk). I would look into more greyromantic identities, because although I am greyromantic, I'm sadly not that involved anymore with the community. Followers maybe you can help?

However, it can just be linked to a discomfort with romance/romantic relationships/commitment on it's own, without it being an Aro thing. Really only you can establish the difference.

The most important thing though, is to remember that even if you can't explain this, or some other experience you have as an aro(TM) thing, you still can ID as aro or arospec if you think the label fits.

I hope you had a nice day 🌻💚

[aroffection]

Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Learn to know your mutual and followers! :D Ps you didn't reblog anything but I was running out of people 🙈

Hi!!! Thank you for sending me this!! These always make me smile :)

1. My friends. I love them with all my heart, they are lovable idiots.

2. My sisters

3. Books, do I need to explain? Lmao

4. Good food, I love both to eat and make it :)

5. Stargazing, the night sky takes my breath away everytime. Sadly since I live in the city I can't do this very often.

[aroffection]

Being hugged really tightly is so nice and comforting. There's just something about it that I can't get enough of.

[aroffection]

Hi uhhh not to make it seem like you have the answer to everything but... Is there a word for craving emotional connections or emotional intimacy? Kinda like a squish I guess?? Idk I've been thinking about this for a bit and I just wanted to know if it's a thing. **Hides**

I mean, if it's toward a particular person/people then it could part of a squish/mesh but if it's a generalised feeling idk, not regarding the a-spec community in particular anyways. I'm sorry if this is vague, but I'm quite tired so my memory is faulting atm. I would recommend doing some research, I have a chaotic next couple of days but if you'd like I can see what I can find after things settle down.

I hope this was of some use to you and you had a wonderful day/night 💚🌻

[aroffection]

Just wanted to say, had to deal with an exclusionist shithead today, and your blog coming up in my recommended was just what I needed. Hell yes, you keep doing you.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that!! I'm glad if my blog was of any reassurance. Please please continue to be your beautiful self and that shithead can vanish

I hope despite that you had a nice day 💚🌻