.Stripes.

Just spicy romance writing, random thoughts and some fanfic

[sweetiestripes]

When I am writing the ending scene for my novel, the most domestic shit ever with smiles and a shared sense of completed adventure at a campfire, listening to Closing Time, grinning to myself while I know they don't make movies like this anymore...

[sweetiestripes]

I will say something stupidly controversial, you can argue I won't change my mind.

People can write their own entertainment online about fictional characters- it is self-exploration and not intended to hurt anybody.

It doesn't have to aim to be art and doesn't have to appeal to others. It can be bad. It can be twisted or naughty or self-indulgent. Doesn't even have to be canon or in-character if it's what you want. What happened to scrolling if someone doesn't like it?

This army against m/m or f/f ships? Or even shipping in general- beats the hell out of the purpose fanfiction used to be when I was young = fun.

If someone else has the same fantasy and enjoys it- good! If not, you can think it's disgusting, stupid, horrible- but to make people feel ashamed for their imagination? That is a low sh*t, snobbish and mean.

Let people live and experience.

[sweetiestripes]

First of all, this is not a Neil-character related post, SORRY.

It's from my novel, original characters, one of them was created 22 years ago. So, take it, it's a piece of my heart 🤍

**** Scene from the Cold Rebel episode****

The porch is quiet, still cool with the morning mist. Ann sits on the top step, wrapped in her own thoughts, hands around a mug gone half-cold. The sky is just beginning to blush gold at the edges. She hears the door open behind her, the soft shuffle of feet and the faint creak of the wood.

Soren steps out, hair damp and pushed back from his face, curls still dripping slightly at the nape of his neck. He’s in one of those threadbare long-sleeved shirts, sleeves shoved up to his elbows, towel slung around his neck. His eyes find her right away.

"You are a shitty sleeper too, huh?" - he smirks. She chuckles and shrugs, only taking a glance in his direction.

"Never needed much of it." - she says before she adds with a caring smile- "Nightmares again?"

"Tssh, nothing dramatic, but this... weird buzzing in my body is not really helpin' me relax" - he shifts a bit uncomfortably, biting his lip in thought before he asks: "You... can do stuff with fire, right?"

"Well, I... I could."

"Not anymore?" - his voice softens.

"Umh. Not nearly the way I used to... why?"

"A little is good. It's... helpful for me. If you could show me."

She lifts her head, their eyes meeting. There is a vulnerable honestly in his stare that makes her chest squeeze tight.

"Not sure it would do us any good.."

"I... I've been uh, feeling this hot and cold uncomfortable stuff crawling under my skin for weeks, it only gets more bearable if I release some of it with a stupid messy dream"- he speaks seriously up until this point where a naughty smirk spreads on his face- "...much like in my teens..."

"Ughh, you really had to say that, huh?" - she snorts and covers her face with both her hands.

"Tshh, tell me those things are not similar-" he giggles like a kid.

"Well-" she goes all kinds of red but keeps talking. "To be honest, all kinds of pent up emotions, feelings, sensations can be connected to random outbursts so for us, non-dragons they fuel this kinda magic. Maybe... some uh, experience helps. Better than trying to suppress it." She realizes, then nods. "Okay, I'll show you. Come on- we need a place where it's okay if you explode..."

"Ohh..." - he raises his brows naughtily, and she sighs rolling her eyes. "Come on, and leave that attitude on the porch"

"Fuck no! Wouldn't want someone to slip on my rizz..."- he chuckles.

[sweetiestripes]

Hello there, found myself in a weird rabbit hole and found your lovely character on character. ai. I was just curious, cause I'm tempted to do a run with the Astarion character, does the story in your opinion take place during bg3 or after?

Oh thank you, I am happy when people like them 🤍 If you mean the cave scenario, I thought it to be around the end of act 1, but my headcanon is that he tones down the flirting a bit once their trust srarts to form.

But honestly, you can take it anywhere you like 🤍 what did you think?

[sweetiestripes]

Fic time - Anton Rose (from Queen of Swords)

Note: I know next to nothing about this series, only saw Neil in it, so all of this stuff is my hc. Have fun 🤍

Also: this is a series, slow-ish burn, so no spice in chapter 1 yet

It's a little angsty because of the tension with his mom

Sweet Escape

The shouting was so loud that no soul on the estate could escape it. It was not the first time Lady Rose had an argument with her son Anton, but this seemed a particularly fierce one. And he was fighting back more these last months too. I couldn't sleep of course. It was way too early to get up and start my errands yet, but I figured, maybe that would be for the best because this tension made my heart clench everytime I heard his broken, defeated retort.

I knew Anton for 2 years by then. It was only him and his mom, and everyone who worked for them knew this: since his dad died in a violent way years ago, Lady Rose was very overprotective of Anton.

It was approximately a year ago when Anton came up to me - an insecure approach but sporting that troublemaker half-smirk - to ask me if I could teach him to shoot a pistol. I was ready to say no but then he glanced down at his feet nervously, admitting that his mom made a scene after finding a pistol in his bag and forbade him to learn self-defence because that would only "earn him trouble" in her words. Anton didn't need to say it out loud how miserable he felt, trapped with a bossy controlling overprotective mom until he finds some higher class girl to marry. I knew it very well. But the way he showed it, how vulnerable he let himself be in front of me- it moved something in me that made my chest tighten. I decided to teach him. And that is how we got closer. Since then he often called me "his lady friend" or "partner in crime". Of course, Lady Rose could not know about any of it. I had a lot to be grateful for to her, to be honest. She took me in and gave me a job when I lost my home to a fire. I did not want to seem ungrateful... but Anton made it impossible to ignore him.

So, as we spent more time together during shooting practice I started to like him more. Which meant, feeling for him when his mom literally drove him crazy. After these kind of horrible arguments he usually was left broken and shaking, upset and full of self-doubts. She was not doing any good for his mental health, for sure.

So, I couldn't stand to listen to it that night and I got dressed to go out and check on the horses. As I was toying with the saddles and trying to pass time there, to clear my own head in the cold night air, suddenly Anton stormed in the stables, heaving heavy breaths. When he saw me, he stopped in his tracks.

"Uh. What are you doing here-?" - he frowned at me. I turned to him and leaned against a wooden table with my hip.

"Couldn't sleep. Um. You guys were kind of loud..."

"Ughhh"- he looked down with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. "Sorry."

"What? For being yelled at?"- I stepped closer but not close enough to take his hand, but my voice was especially warm. "Don't be sorry, Darling. Not your fault."

"Yeah, well. She would disagree" - he scrunched up his nose cynically, then he looked down, the usual pain clouding his eyes. "I am clearly the problem..."

"Bullshit" - I couldn't resist a comforting touch this time, placing my palm on his arm, right above where his sleeves were folded up.- "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah"- he flinched with his head but did not pull his arm away. He huffed.- "I just want to leave."

"And go where?" - my eyes grew wide.

"I don't know.. don't care" - he groaned and he already started to prepare his horse, Monty.

"So you don't know but you are going, huh?" - my voice turned a little teasing. I have always been telling him to think with a cold head, especially in a fight, and this was the opposite of that.

"Well what should I do, hm?! Ask for another slap?" - his voice was so irritated and upset and hurt that I instantly regretted teasing him. I stepped closer to him, my eyes searching his. He avoided looking at me.

"She hit you?"

Anton did not answer, just looked down. His cheeks turned pink in the dim light, ashamed. He needed to leave... it was not a rushed childish revenge on his mother- it was fleeing. He needed space to breathe. And I wanted to help.

"Anton. Hey, look at me"- I cupped his cheek, my fingers gently touching his heated skin. - "I know where we could go."

[sweetiestripes]

What it is like to be in a complicated relationship with ET

-He is much younger than you (but an adult obviously) so you didn't pay attention to his flirting at the bar until you saw some shady guys spike his drink

-You took him home only to save him but the moment he woke up all apologetic and sweet you knew this boy needed a hug

-the friendly nature of your connection changed somewhere between the first shared pizza and a late night call when he had a dream of you

-he is always more naughty on the phone and more sweet face to face

-he is stunned by your kitchen design since his problematic family never really put effort in these kinda things

-he always lights up when you praise him, reassure him or give him a small gift

-he sleeps in his crappy car when he has a fight with his mom because he doesn't want to burden you

-at work he gets clumsy with the repair stuff and almost got fired once for daydreaming about you

-he hates his name but somehow he still likes it when you call him Derek

[sweetiestripes]

Being Brendan's little sister, living in the same house as Simon, there are some things you'd notice about him:

He likes being up early, earlier than everyone else to start making breakfast (enough for more than one person)

- so he may like taking care of others

He somehow makes the best damn coffee in the world

But if you happen to get up earlier, you can hear the shower running in the guest bathroom and he takes AGES in there

When he is out on business, he hardly ever picks up his phone if you call, but he instantly replies to texts

If he doesn't see you in the kitchen when he comes back in the evening, he goes up the stairs just to casually check on you - sometimes you don't even notice him sneaking up and glancing in your room. Your door is open and music in your ears as you sit at your desk and he just smirks at you from outside-

If you notice him he just shrugs and asks how your day was

He rolls his eyes at your movie/video game choice when you two spend an evening together but he is secretly impressed by your taste

He feels uncomfortable by the feelings you cause in his chest when you fall asleep on his shoulder

When you sit out on your small rooftop balcony with drinks he is always teasing you for being a lightweight and getting tipsy so soon

When he comes home injured he'd try to pretend he is okay but you *know* him so you insist on taking care of his wounds and he is secretly moved by that

He can't stop staring at the pajamas shorts you are wearing when you come down for breakfast

[simonwalkerapologist]

Neil Newbon as Nikolai in “Beyond the Rave” (2008)

[sweetiestripes]

He is special for me. If you know you know 🐰

[walkersbeloved]

OH PLEASE :((( (thank u rat for sending this to me)

[sweetiestripes]

Heyo,

If you'd like to try chatting with the army of characters I created on character.ai, you can check out my account:

https://character.ai/profile/SweetieStripes

[sweetiestripes]

Bralker fic time

18+

Warnings: a bit of knife play, restraints, teasing, edging, no release

Part of my Merciless Love series

Bittersweet Victories

"So... a fucking cop of all things, eh-?"

Simon did not say a word, didn't even look at Brendan. He stopped moving too, since he already figured it would be pointless to struggle more against the restraints, it would only cause more damage to him- cutting into the softer parts of his arm- and he wasn't stupid. He needed his strength still in case he manages to outsmart Brendan in a way, which- he had to admit- wasn't as likely as getting killed by him in the next ten minutes. He had a knife, a fucking knife of all the weapons that could end his life- Brendan had to carry a fucking knife this time. Though he knew he didn't deserve a quick ending, Simon preferred not to squirm in pain in front of Brendan- as he mercilessly twists the blade in his flesh.

But it didn't come to that, not yet.

Right now he was walking back and forth in front of him, pacing as if in frustration- though he had Simon right where he wanted. If only he showed a little bit of weakness, just a crumb. Simon was getting desperate to pick up on something in his words.

"... I always knew there was something about you. Always thought you were clever..." - Brendan stopped pacing, turning to him. - "Guess, I can be wrong too."

He was smirking, the bastard, and it elicited an unexpected deep rumbling chuckle from Simon too, but the stretch of the skin sent a spark of pain in his split lip.

He winced slightly but cursed himself for it, his fingers clenching behind his back and he sat up straighter as their eyes met. He watched as Brendan's smirk froze on his face for a second before he was dead serious once again. Just in a blink he was leaning down to him, their faces inches apart, his eyes scanning Simon's lip that had gotten torn by him not even an hour ago, then he made eye contact again, in his eyes some kind of softness and insanity at the same time.

"Bet this is not how you imagined the end of our little trip, huh?" Brendan's voice was quiet, his head tilted slightly.

"And you?" - Simon didn't know where that reply came from but he instantly knew it was the right direction when Brendan's brows rose in surprise, his mouth twitching at the corner. Simon realized his heart was pounding.

"And I-? Uhhh" - Brendan dramatically chuckled, his eye movement deliberate as he looked to the ground, it was all to have an effect. To appear unpredictable... intimidating. But Simon knew him well enough to know, it was all distraction. It's his game. And he only plays his game when worked up. - "Is this really the time to act all bratty, eh, Simon?"

Oh, victory.

Simon felt a wave of warmth flood his body and it took his heart in a chokehold, so he had to control his expressions not to show it all.

"It doesn't hurt to make things... clear between us, hm?" - his voice was soft, deep. His heart racing.

"Well, that's..." -Brendan stood up, reaching for something behind his back. He turned to him once more, his fingertips playing with the blade of his knife.- "That is where you are very... very wrong. It might in fact hurt-"

The next moment Simon felt the cold blade touching the side of his neck and he tensed slightly, his jaw flexing as his eyes pierced into Brendan's while he couldn't help but notice his own jeans getting a bit tighter. His lips pulled into a slight smirk.

"Did I go that deep, Brendan...?" - he said slowly with that stern, brave stare of his. Brendan swallowed, his gaze flicking down to his lips again.

"You're not exactly in the position to tease, Walker" - Brendan muttered quietly, the tip of the knife moving down Simon's neck, slightly grazing his skin. He wanted to squirm but stayed still- he couldn't hold back a hiss though as the blade touched his collarbone. His eyes fell shut too, involuntarily, and they opened up to witness Brendan's self-satisfied grin. - "Does this little toy make you nervous-?"

"Oh, that there-?" - Simon's eyes flicked down but he kept his chin lifted away from the sharpness of the blade.

"Umhm, this here-" Brendan took the knife away from his skin and lifted it in front of Simon's face.

Simon ran his eyes along the weapon, but his gaze settled on the way Brendan's fingers held it, how daringly he caressed the underside with his index finger. He shifted in his seat.

"What makes you think I'm nervous, Brendan-?"

"You have every reason to be... for one-" Brendan sighed- "And, you're tense. Squirming. You must have a vague idea about how much trouble you've gotten y'self into, hmm?" Brendan hummed but it was closer to a growl. Simon exhaled a breath he had been holding. He smirked. Brendan's brows moved just slightly. - "What's so funny? Come on, let me have a laugh too..."

Simon leaned back loosely, as if relaxing a bit despite his sharp situation.

"After all this time... you are still bad at reading people..."

"Oh. Is that so? Enlighten me, then. What am I... getting wrong this time?" - his voice was mocking, mostly teasing with a hint of surprise in it.

"There are people who are your real enemies. And you're trying to prove something here to someone protecting you."

"Protecting? Oh, really? Now that's actually a real good joke there Simon" - Brendan laughed harshly, throwing his head back, straightening himself, letting his hands down next to his body. Simon laughed along with him. It was all pretense and not only on his side, they both knew it. Then Brendan was suddenly in his face again, only a breath away from eachother. - "Considering our past I'll give you one... tiny... minute to go into details before we get more physical here, hm?"

He was now more threatening than anything else.

"Oh come on-" Simon frowned, his voice charged with a bit of emotion- "Do you really think you would still walk free if I was the traitor you think I am? Don't you think I already had a thousand opportunities to get you arrested for something if I really wanted to, huh? Do you really think I'd still put up with your circle of lap dogs and troublemakers-"

The blade was suddenly pressed against his throat again with Brendan getting actually pissed.

"Careful with your words now, Walker because you are on very thin ice... Now use your head before you speak next because if you get me upset, my hand might start shaking..."

Another threat. Another one Simon ignored but he didn't smile any longer. He was past playing games.

"If you wanted to kill me you'd already have and if I wanted to catch you I already could have. But we haven't. And you know the reason for it. I know you do, Brendan-" he said with his eyes raised up at Brendan's determined face, pleading.

Brendan slowly, very slowly bent his back and leaned super close to him now, not leaving room for a single breath between them.

"...and that would be?"

He knew. Simon had no doubt they were on the same page with the way Brendan kept staring at his lips without shame, making it torturous. Simon realized he is actually panting and he swallowed hard, his jaw flexing. He felt highly frustrated by being toyed with. He wanted to hold out longer but the way Brendan's soft breaths caressed his lips the pressure became unbearable - in more ways than one.

He instinctively launched an aggressive kiss against Brendan's lips- and the fucker had the audacity to pull away instantly as if burned by fire... as if he didn't crave the same thing so badly. When their eyes met, Simon was gritting his teeth, his breaths coming through them harshly, panting as a feral dog while his eyes flashed anger and impatience. Brendan's lips pulled up into a slight smug grin before he bit how lower lip and leaned back to kiss Simon gently in comparison to the earlier heat.

Simon was going mad, his blood boiling under his skin. The tongue that his was seeking so desperately was only slightly touching him, Brendan was playing with him on purpose. Simon let out a harsh huff and tore his head away to regain some of his control and his right mind, as it was all he had left now.

His eyes glared at Brendan's self-satisfied smirk, his heart pounding.

"Ummmm..."- Brendan hummed, his voice a sweet deep growly sound that got his pants even tighter and his skin goosebumpy. - "Frustrating, isn't it?"

"Brendan..." - he breathed between his teeth warningly.

"Oh, boy-" Brendan ran his fingers through Simon's already messy hair, grabbing it along the way and the rough but affectionate touch made Simon visibly shiver.- "You are full of surprises. I admit, I knew it all along. Something there... in the background. Secrets. Lies... I knew I had to be careful with you, Walker-" Brendan kept caressing his nape and Simon fought the urge to let his eyes flutter. He still leaned into the touch as Brendan went on- "I was going to play along a bit, you know? To see when your real intentions would unfold...- but instead," Brendan bent down to be eye level with him again, and Simon suddenly felt a warmth on his thigh around the middle that had to be a hand. Was Brendan really playing that dirty with him?

"... instead... something else is unfolding. Something you cannot really fake. Can you-?" Simon couldn't help but squeeze his eyes shut as Brendan's hand slid up... up... higher and higher on his thigh, getting right up to where he craved that touch so. But, he stopped. - "I asked you a question. Can you, Walker?"

Simon opened his eyes halfway, his breaths shallow as he looked at Brendan.

"Brendan... what do you want from me-?"

"To answer a question-" he insisted, his eyes flicking down to Simon's parted, panting lips.

"N-no-" Simon groaned as Brendan's nails sank into his inner thigh.

"What was that-?" -Brendan leaned closer, Simon's eyes fell shut.

"I'm not faking this, goddamn-! Ugh-Brendan..." - Simon lost his composure once more, letting his head fall back vulnerably and the small word he never thought he'd use on Brendan spilled out weakly from his lips. - "Please..."

"Ummm, now there's a good boy-" Brendan pressed his face right up to Simon's ear, growling the words so it all echoed in his hazy head as his hand suddenly left his thigh. Simon gasped in protest, his brows already in a pouting frown when he felt the teasing hand slip into the front of his jeans, thank god for not wearing tight-fitting ones.

As the warm hand made contact with his aching excitement through his underwear only, Simon's eyes fluttered, his head falling back even further after a short moment of tensing up.

Brendan sensed as he twitched instantly and a smirk spread below his mustache.

"You're a sick little fuck, you know that? All it takes is a knife at your throat and you're just -gone- all the way" -Brendan whispered, enjoying every moment if feeling Simon up, the deadly threats not on his mind any longer.

Simon's breath stuttered as Brendan caressed him uncharacteristically softly all over and his hips squirmed against the warm hand as much as his restraints let him, a grunt leaving him.

It was a good start but the touches didn't grow firmer and Simon started getting frustrated and impatient again, raising his head. Their eyes locked while Brendan kept teasing him.

"You know, never thought that a cop would beg me today-"

"Ughhahhah, you're enjoying that, don't you?" - Simon squeezes out a laugh that started as a groan.

"Not gonna lie... I do."

"I can tell" - his eyes shifted to the front of Brendan's jeans with his usual piercing stare that is always somewhere between threatening and seductive. - "I would love to return the favor, you know? If you untie me a little-"

"A weak try, Walker. I expected more from you" Brendan finally wrapped his fingers around him as much as the underwear made it possible. Simon hissed.

"Mhhh, you often do this to people you don't trust even a little-ugh-?"

"Nah, you're special" - he gave some attention to the most sensitive part under his palm, giving him some firmer, shorter strokes.

"Uhh, fuck!" Simon keened and shuddered, goosebumps covering his arms behind his back where he pressed against the ropes holding him in place- "Goddamn, Brendan, I can't take this!" - he breathed heavily through his gritted teeth.

Brendan, as if suddenly caring about his agony, shoved his hand inside his boxers and started working him for real. His lewd moan in both relief and pleasure didn't even sound like himself. Simon found it quite ridiculous, but he could already feel the sparks, the heat coiling and twisting in his lower belly as soon as Brendan touched him for real. His shallow panting and small whines of bliss were not really hiding his state either and Brendan knew. He knew he was winning. His body was showing how drunk he was on the power he practiced on Simon, the smirk, his raised chin, the half-lidded stare.

"You know... what I can't take, Simon?" - *His name again.* Brendan using his first name did something to his brain, making his eyes squeeze shut. He felt Brendan's breaths on his ear again. His breath hitched, the hand on him sped up and twisted and fuck, he was close, and he didn't even care if it was too soon because he needsd it so bad, he needed to- "...Lies."

The word left Brendan's lips against the shell of his ear, making him shudder, when the warm touch making his toes curl suddenly disappeared.

And then... nothing.

No. No no no no-

His eyes flew open and the spoken word's meaning only registered in him now. His lips pressed together in a wave of frustration like he never in his life felt before and his left eye started to twitch. He was breathing heavily through his nose trying not to snap.

It worked too until Brendan deliberately leaned over to his face, biting his own lip while he inspected him as if Simon was his masterpiece, his job well done. Holy shit, and he might have been, Simon realized. Brendan broke him completely. He was done, shaking and ready to beg him desperately. What did he do to him?

"How does it feel, hmm? To be so sure 'bout it... and then- ummm..."

"Is this some kind if a punishment now, Brendan?" -Simon growled through his teeth, his mind going blank in waves of sharp panic and dissatisfaction. He was going to go insane.

"Punishment? No. This is... just how life is, Simon. You can't trust anyone" - Brendan answered with sadistic satisfaction, his voice cynical but carrying a small pinch of hurt and betrayal. He straightened his posture and fixed his hair, smoothed out some wrinkles on his black shirt and adjusted his pants before a content sigh left him.

"Well. I have business to attend to. Think about it until I come back."

"Brendan, no- don't- don't- please! Please, I need- Brendan!" - Simon's voice cracked in desperation, his squirming caused his wrists to rub up against the ropes painfully, the tightness of his pants killing him, but he was powerless.

"Night, Simon. Sweet dreams."

Brendan just turned and walked away, leaving behind a man on edge in more ways than one, ignoring Simon's desperate begging and whining but carving every sweet sound into his mind to remember.

He was wondering when Simon would recover from his shaken up state enough to take notice of the knife on the floor, not even far from the chair he was still tied to.

Part 2 coming soon 🤍

[sweetiestripes]