Whelp I forgot this was even here.
Out of all the things that I have forgotten I forgot that I had this Tumblr XD Brain Fog is a bitch it seems. I guess I could use this as a venting space, what with my shinny Chronic Illness and all. Its still a ongoing brain battle with myself with what I think I can do, and what I should do.
It’s a slow process in getting used to what will mess me up, and what I know will mess me up. Just because I can ignore it doesn’t mean I should. That being said its nice to know that I wasn’t just being a big baby about my chronic pain and that there is actually something wrong.
It’s been a year and a half now and I have to make peace with the mighty Fibromyalgia monster lurking inside my body. I need to stop thinking “Maybe my doctor is wrong and I’m okay,” or “There’s not actually anything wrong with me” because I know there is. Ones body is not actually supposed to be full of pain that has no rhyme or reason after all, and there is only so long someone can ignore the hammering pain that comes out of no where.
Hell I just had a month off of work because they were remolding, all the rest in the world and I’m still bone dead tired, and I wake up with random parts of me burring or twinging. It’s cool that I can still time travel by closing my eyes and falling asleep just about anywhere but my bed. It’s great to randomly feel like I’m going to crash and burn until it comes time for me to actually sleep. I also find it funny that my ankles are still made of garbo, yay for saving up for ankle surgery to get the Right ankle fixed almost as well as the left is now.
To every doctor out there that always told me to either loose weight or to rest and it will get better please kindly go screw you self. To the doctors that told me there was nothing wrong with me or my ankles, you need to listen to your patients and not just assume you know what is going on. I lived with a heel spur growing through my Achilles Tendon , for over eight years before someone listened to me. Do you know what its like to feel like someone is taking a knife to the back of your ankle with every step and that sitting down was the worst part of your day? It’s not fun I can tell you that, and if it would have been looked at sooner, and fixed before it got so bad I wouldn’t have two partial Achilles tears in my medical records and a tendon that is now prone to tearing. But no, because I was over weight, there was nothing wrong with them and I just had pain because I was heavy.
