kiss & tell

The people behind the match foundation have eyes and ears everywhere. As of late, they have taken to sending news blasts through the mirrors– spilling any and all secrets that they can find. Will yours be next? var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5172964"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "http://freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); ϟ var fhsh = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id_h = "3064275"; fhsh.src = "http://freehostedscripts.net/ocount.php?site="+fhs_id_h+"&name=&a=1"; document.head.appendChild(fhsh);document.write(""); currently tracking: #swipednetwork

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what's the hot gossip

You bring the gossip to us, remember? Try do better next time.

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What's up with Adrian and Mandy? She says she never dated him... But they certainly act like they do- or did

For Godric’s sake; they’re friends. You guys need to chill. Sometimes boys and girls and sit beside each other without the overwhelming need to bump uglies.

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i hear malfoy has a tiny *cough* shoe size

I’m going to need confirmation (perhaps Pansy or Astoria could be kind enough to let us know) but that makes total sense. No wonder he’s so crabby.

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its actually very funny to see how you're capable of opening your mouth about everyone in a good way, but when it comes to me you always talk shit. you don't know a thing about my life, and you never will. do me a favor and FUCK off.

Draco baby, I don’t know where you’re getting your facts from but I’m nice to no one. You’re not special, honey. We report what we hear. If you’re dating ten girls at a time, the people deserve to know.

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Wait wait wait - Did I just see Justin taking Pansy back to his flat? I know Parkinson LOVES this sort of attention, but I thought he was better than this. What is he thinking?

This is the juiciest thing to happen around here in months. What is he thinking? Here I thought him and Michael had taken a vow of chastity together or something. Justin baby, Pansy Parkinson is not the girl next door you’ll introduce your parents to. I’d go as far as to say Amortentia might be at play here. I hope you’re being a good girl, Miss Parkinson.

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will the real weasley king please stand up (aka ron not george)

Please enjoy my revised version of such a work of art:

He can’t even sleep with Granger,with him as an auror we’re all in danger,that’s why I always sing,Weasley is my king!!

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I wonder if any of the girls flocking towards Draco realize how much of a manslut he is. Hannah, Pansy, Astoria, AND Daphne? He sure does get around.

And he swears he’s a changed man. Typical. What are these girls thinking? Not that many of them could do much better. I’m sure Pansy and Astoria won’t mind when they find out anyway. Who’s Astoria to judge him for sleeping around and no doubt Pansy would love the extra attention it’d get her. Poor girl is gagging for us to mention her. Tragic. As for Hannah and Daphne? Hannah’s too busy being completely and utterly in love with Draco to even care and I can’t see Daphne sticking around once she realises Draco has already, well, stuck it to Astoria.

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how long before george flakes on angelina like he did with the rest of his family?

Where have you been? He’s been flaking on her since they started dating. I’m surprised she keeps forgiving him. They must be working on a three strike rule. Better get your act together, Georgie because sooner rather than later or else Angie’s going to have some sense knocked into her and you’ll be out.

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I hear that, given the choice between the two of you, Michael Corner would choose to save GG over B. Wise choice?

What the hell do you think? He picked GG because she’s nicer?! We’re not paid to be nice. Besides, GG is the devil incarnate. Big mistake, Corner. He thinks I was mean before now? He’s in for a nasty surprise.

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Lisa Turpin's getting a lot of love. Seems like she's got her pick of the guys! Why is that?

Have you seen her? She’s stunning, let’s not deny it folks. Besides, she has the whole damsel-in-distress thing going on for her and the good guys love a girl they get to save.

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what is it with slytherins and hufflepuffs hooking up?

My guess? All these ex-Slytherins are just trying to show the world how they’ve changed. They’re good, kind people now — and generous enough to throw a bone in the direction of a Hufflepuff. I can’t see this trend lasting but I do find myself holding out hope for Hannah Abbott and Draco Malfoy. They have potential.

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If you were in control of the matches, who would you stick together? Which pairing would be most spectacularly awful? And which would definitely lead to a night of hot sex?

Definitely Seamus and Dean. Everyone wants to see that happen and Dean really needs to loosen up. I want to see more of Adrian and Daphne — rumor has it they were a thing and spotted cozying up in a coffee shop. Matched exes could make for interesting gossip... Worst pairing ever would have to be... Percy and Marcus. Something tells me Marcus wouldn’t like the attention. Hottest sex, I can’t decide if it’s between Percy and Cassius or Pansy and, well, anyone. That girl would have sexual tension with a rock. But I can’t possibly be the only one that thought sparks were flying between the socialite and Mr. Weasley as they lit up together. Poor little celibate Hermione Granger. 

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Keep your nose out of me and my family's shit. Got it?

I would have if you had asked nicely, babe. I do have a soft spot for you. But this was just all shades of rude red. Besides, I do love seeing you get flushed.

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draco malfoy seems to be a lot more friendly than what he was before. and a little bird told me that he was spotted with hannah abbott, flirting! what do you think about that??

Hannah Banana flirts with every male that crosses her path, I’m not at all surprised. As for Draco, there’s a reason why that recessive platinum hair gene persists– the Malfoy’s only ever end up with other golden-headed specimens. 

Dear Draco, leave that waitress behind and I’ll show you a great time. XOXO.

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Lovely to know that you ship me with a far away country, because I do too. As long as it gets me far away from you, of course. (The hate is more than mutual.) I should be taking a much needed vacation; you care about me enough to send me reminders now too? I'm charmed. What do you think about Morocco? xx Angelina Johnson

Return to sender, please!

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pansy is SUCH a shit-stirrer

A woman after my own heart. Do your thing, babe. Show these losers how it’s done.

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i heard harry engages in a little, uh. erotic suffocation. is it true?

Perhaps when he spent all that time at the Weasley’s he wasn’t just getting friendly with the sheweasel, but with Percy as well? My, my, my... let’s all offer a round of applause to Percy Weasley. He’s succeeded in corrupting the chosen one.