Louise: I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but as a friend, I feel that you ought to know. That shirt...well...it's giving delulu.
Archie: .........I...don't really know how to take that, Louise???
Alex: Ignore her, she's been saying strange shit all morning.
Louise: Ah! (she stamps her foot) I have not! How dare you say that about me?!
Alex: Louise, you told me that you wanted to, and I quote, "see me in my queerplatonic polycule era".
Louise: Well, what's wrong with that? >:C
Archie: ...Oh! Um...well, that's....nice? I think??
Alex: I have no idea where she's even picking up this sort of language. Earlier, she was bothering Caroline about her shaving her legs. She said it was "low-key outta pocket, but you do you, girlypop, no cap", dabbed, and then walked away.
Archie: Please never use any of those words again.
Alex: Do you even know what these things mean, Louise, or are you just throwing random words together and hoping that it works?
Louise: Of course I know what they mean! I'm not an idiot, Alexsander! Not valid! Deadass!
Alex: No, you see, I'm convinced you're just tossing words around arbitrarily because nobody ever says any of this in these contexts.
Louise: Weird POV, but okay. Clock it.
Alex: Louise, you need to stop. Whatever this is, whatever phase you are going through, I don't think I can put up with it for much longer.
Archie: Oooooh!! Opp energy! (he grins at Louise encouragingly, high fives her)
Louise: (she grins back at him) Omg, I'm dead!!!!! You're totally sending me!!
Alex: You ARE dead, Louise! Literally! Please don't make me remind you of this by snapping off one of your stinky little zombie fingers!
Louise: I'M NOT STINKY, YOU'RE STINKY! >:C
Alex: Tell that to the cloud of flies that follows you everywhere you go. Louise, you're rotting. Need I remind you of your death date?
Alex: Good. Are you going to stop speaking like a fool?
Louise: ...Yes... (she sniffs)
Alex: Oh, for God's sake, are you -- is she crying??
Archie: (curiously) Can corpses cry...?
Louise: STOP IT!! BOTH of you...! I just...I just wanted to fit in here...the modern world is so confusing to me!! But then I heard some little boys talking at the park, and they were teaching me about all kinds of modern things! Language, dances...new things...of which I still don't...really understand, if I'm to be truly honest...
Alex: Louise, that was the total opposite of "fitting in". That was...well, I don't really know what that was, but please, just use the language that comes naturally to you! We prefer the real you. Okay?
Louise: Yes, alright... (thinking) ............................................What are "OnlyFans"?
Alex: (horrifed) YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ONLYFANS WITH SOME CHILDREN AT THE PARK?????
Louise: No, Caroline was looking at it earlier on her phone. (she shrugs)
Louise: Well? (she shrugs) What does it mean?
Archie: I think it means Caroline needs a pay rise. LMAO??
Caroline: (she comes downstairs) Has anybody seen my earring? I think I lost it down here earlier. (she looks up) ...............Why is everyone staring at me like that?
Archie: Absolutely, definitely not staring at you. Why would we be staring at you, Caroline?
Louise: Ugh, fine, I'll just ask Ashton!
Alex: NO -- don't bloody do that, she'll sign you up for the damn thing!
Louise: Will somebody PLEASE tell me what OnlyFans are?!
Caroline: (she giggles) Oh, I was literally following Ashton on there this afternoon!! Her account is on fire!
Alex: Th-wh-........hang on. There are too many layers to unpack here. I don't even know where to begin.
Caroline: (she frowns and tilts her head) She didn't tell you?
Archie: This is the weirdest day of my entire life. What is happening?!
Caroline: She posts exclusive photos there. I...honestly thought she would have told you about this, considering most of them are of you.
Caroline: Yeah! Look! (she scrolls through her phone) This one's you, picking flowers. And this one's also of you, but it's like some kinda artsy shot of your hands...oh, and this one's you falling asleep on a train, but with an advert above your head for Starbucks Coffee. I suppose she thought the irony was worth the photo?
Alex: (sigh of relief) ...Right.
Archie: ...............Why do you have an OnlyFans, Caroline? :)
Caroline: To follow Ashton's art & photography account, duh...? What, did you think I was selling nudes or something?!
Louise: Did she just say nudes?
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