┆⇢鬼灯水月

Affiliated with DeuxDestins | Unfated |

[sxigetsx-blog]

endearinghime hat auf dein Foto geantwortet “[This is probably the funniest thing I said all month and thats...”

( o M FG FAVE )

[Hahaha thank you xD I just needed a place for my crackish needs tbh xD]

[sxigetsx-blog]

[This is probably the funniest thing I said all month and thats somehow sad.]

[sxigetsx-blog]

A little PSA that you can send me the memes I reblogged even days after and/or continue them if you want to ^-^

[severarity-blog]

“Well, you’re not excused. Especially from committing such an ugly crime.”

   “To not even fulfil your end of the bet properly…You certainly are pathetic.”

[sxigetsx-blog]

“Pathetic ? I deserve a fucking Award for even walkin in these shoes, my feets are bleeding and I sure as hell won’t make it worse by taking off my socks !”

[sxigetsx-blog]

Someone slap me for never saving my PSD files -.-

[drowned-poltergeist]

Ask my character something you think would be difficult for them to answer.

[endearinghime-deactivated201512]

»fishy•meeting )

Lavender orbs narrowed, focusing on the image in front of her. Hanging in broad day light on a telephone poll, for all to see. This was.. beyond embarrassing, frustrating even. How could her caretaker allow something like this to happen? Her fingertips reach out to gently touch the picture of herself. It was, of course, one of her modeling pictures but she was P R O M I S E D they wouldn’t release it out into the public. She was far too uncomfortable, they had just been pushing her boundaries further and further. As she was finally face to face with the provocative image, she uses both hands to firmly rip it from the pole. She can hear someone speaking behind her, questioning her motives. She merely spins around to come face to face with a male much taller than her, his most significant feature being snow white hair. Orbs widened in surprise, letting out a quiet squeak. ❝Th - They put this up without my permission… It’s a.. terrible photo.❞

[sxigetsx-blog]

Suigetsu was on his way home, he’d just finished his grocery shopping for the week as he came by a girl in fron of a telephone poll. She seemed clearly upset about something, gripping on the poll with almost shaking hands. Now Suigetsu Hozuki was many things, but not a complete asshole, so as she ripped the poster off he decided to call her out on it. 

Granted, “What the fuck are you doing ?” may be not the most sensible way to do it, but cleary working as the girl turned around. He was a bit taken aback as he faced the very girl from the poster, even more so as she started to speak, her small voice a stark contrast to the image created by the picture. 

Suigetsu barely repressed a comment about how girls always seemed to complain about their pictures, before the first part of her sentence registered in his mind. Was it even legal to publish anothers picture without their explicit consent ? He frowned at that, even if it was, it was still a awful thing to do.

“I don’t know your problem with the photo, I mean it looks great, like ─I’d hang it on my wall─ great, but if they really used it without your permission you should kick their ass.”

[sxigetsx-blog]

[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

[Text:] Pumpkin, really ?[Text:] Ugh disgusting. [Text:] But wait, are we allowed to eat in class ?

[severarity-blog]

     “Tsk.” heavily sighing at this ‘man’. “Bet or not bet what were you thinking wandering around in those socks with that dress, the sight of you is making me nauseous.”

[sxigetsx-blog]

“Well, ex-fucking-cuse me for not matching my socks to a dress I wasn’t aware I would be wearing until two hours ago ! "

[headstrongmartin]

texts from last night! meme

[sxigetsx-blog]

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here [text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. [text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW [text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA. [text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. [text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese [text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it [text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?” [text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? [text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him. [text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. [text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. [text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. [text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife. [text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops. [text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. [text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. [text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. [text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling [text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One. [text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba” [text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. [text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. [text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me [text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings. [text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug” [text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. [text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine [text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. [text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him [text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten [text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. [text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. [text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury [text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart. [text] When was the last time you wore pants? [text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation [text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. [text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time [text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. [text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going? [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today. [text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition? [text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. [text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist? [text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special [text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention [text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin. [text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb [text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes [text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. [text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy [text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster [text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. [text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on [text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant [text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. [text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. [text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? [text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out [text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game [text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire. [text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. [text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. [text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship. [text] you traded sex for a burrito? [text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. [text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. [text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. [text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable. [text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest [text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box [text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. [text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka. [text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go [text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. [text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos” [text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you [text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style. [text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. [text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs [text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. [text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year [text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. [text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. [text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted [text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. [text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? [text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. [text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! [text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. [text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. [text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok. [text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. [text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’ [text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. [text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. [text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed [text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone [text] never. drinking. again. [text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. [text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night [text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now [text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. [text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

[sxigetsx-blog]

severarity

 "..." 8)

“…Absolutely disgusting.” [POOR SUIGETSU]

“It was a bet okay, a fucking bet. What kind of man would I be if I weren’t wearing this dress right now ?!”

[sxigetsx-blog]

you all should come bother sui about his maid dress tbh xD

[sxigetsx-blog]

"..." 8)

3. Dressed up like a French Maid

This was it, this was the last fucking time he made a drunken bet with his supposed-to-be friends. Of course he lost, noone would be able to balance five bottles full of beer on his head, it was physically impossible, Suigetsu just wished someone had told him that before he made the bet. 

And so it came that he stumbled across the campus, wearing a much to short black and white dress ─which he was sure was constructed just to make the frill itch on his skin─ together with black high heels that shouldn’t even exist in his size. His ex-friends even found a Hair Band to match. Needless to say Suigetsu wasn’t pleased, his feet hurt like hell and the constantly rilling up dress was just embrassing, but he refused to back down from this. He would show that, even while wearing that ridiculous outfit, he was a man that stood true to his word. And he was a man dammit !

Suigetsu was just walking the last round, glad that noone had seen him so far. He kept his gaze down, trying to stumble as little as possible, as he rounded the last corner before his dorm. To late he noticed the second pair of feets in his vision before a light impact made him loose the little footing he had. 

Looking up he found a girl standing there which he dully recognized from one of his classes. He cursed his bad luck, of couse he had to meet someone he knew, a hot girl none the less. “Look, that isn’t what it looks like..” He tried to explain himself, why he wasn’t sure but he didn’t want anyone, not even strangers, think of him as a crossdresser. 

[rpmemesupreme-blog]

send me a 😱...

i’ll generate a number, (1-50) and my muse will have to explain to yours why they are… (some nsfw, some angst, mostly humor)

[rpmemesupreme-blog]

Weiterlesen

[flaxenbibliophile-blog]

“I have enough gods in my life.”

[sxigetsx-blog]

“Apperently not, or why do you fail to notice when one stands right in front of you.”

[ask-meme-queen-blog]

Send me "You Asshole!" and I'll generate a number from 1 to 10

Contains both angst, violence and fluff!

Keep reading

[mxndokusei]

“Again, you have to capture the King. Look, Suigetsu. You know that moment when you just know you’re going to completely annihilate your opponent? That’s what checkmate is. A less annoying version of victory whoops.”

[sxigetsx-blog]

“You always move your King away, I’ll never win like this. And who would want to do a victory whoops for this game anyways, it’s stupid. Why can’t I just move the pieces how I want them ? Every farmer in their right mind would spare the horse and shoot it if it walks like this, Y’know.”