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Noah Kahan
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@sxnota-blog
nikolai is pouting very noticeably, and had wrapped both his arms and legs around his hosts leg. "this is your punishment for ignoring me!!!"
“What? Ignoring you?”
“You’re the one who barely comes out…” Alexei let out a sigh, leaning down and patting Nikolai on his head.
nitori:
@sxnota || continuation of (x)
“were you busy?” impromptu visits were always fun but his timing with them normally was always bad.
“I wasn’t busy doing anything, really. Today’s been a slow day, and it’s pretty irritating not having much to do.” For once, Alexei was glad that Nitori showed up, considering he was about to nearly die of boredom. Lack of writing inspiration does that to you.
nitori is hugging him tightly!!! also giving his faces lots of kisses. "hi."
“Hiiiiiii~” Alexei gives him a good smooch back.
nitori:
“Wait. wait. wait–” He wheezed quietly but there was already distance made between the two of them. Damn it, damn it all. He was starting to hate himself. For what reason was did he experience his memory loss? He wasn’t even sure. It just happened.
His heart as if it were squeezed harshly the moment he was replied to. He stayed silent for the longest of time, trying to find the right words to say or how to comfort him. He really couldn’t nor did he feel like he had the right. It was his fault.
“Alexei…” He mumbled his name which he memorized. “I read a notebook…. told me everything I need to know about us. I know about you… about me t-too but I just… don’t…” He whimpered, being unable to finish the sentence. “What do I do? What s-should I do?” He felt tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t mean to make this about himself.
He should have been apologizing for being so reckless, for not putting more effort into preventing this memory loss. "Don’t remember again?” Alexei words repeated in his mind nonstop. Just how many times has it happened now? He didn’t even know. He didn’t know a damn thing and it was why he had been crying.
It was the first time he cried in the past few days of dealing with this. Nitori wasn’t sure why he decided to do it in front of the other. Perhaps he instinctively felt that it was okay to show this type of vulnerability around him. He didn’t know but what he did know was that the tears couldn’t stop.
“I-i don’t m-mean to make it about me. T-this is all my fault… I -i did something but… it hurts. I’m s-so scared. I read all I would need to know about myself b-but nothing is clicking.” His own hand moved to smack harshly against his chest. “It’s like I c-can’t feel anything… .”
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry….” His anxiety and all his feelings had finally poured out.
"Nitori..."
Watching Nitori break down in front of him made him feel even worse, slowly bringing him back into a softer hug. Not the best thing to do, but Alexei always ended up doing it out of instinct now, whenever Nitori got like this. "It's not your fault, you..." Alexei paused.
He couldn't really sugar coat his words. But telling him anything else right now was possibly the worst thing he could do, especially right now while he's a crying mess in his arms. Something else, just say something else...
"It doesn't need to click right now at least. Just know we've been through it together, and we'll get through it again, okay?" His grip strengthened around Nitori. Even now Alexei still couldn't possibly know how painful everything was to Nitori right now, the confusion he was going through, how empty everything feels. If anything Alexei was making everything about him in his own brain. It was frustrating, he'd probably never know how it feels, and he could never comfort him properly like a decent significant other because of it.
At that moment all he could really do is hug him, try and reassure him everything would be okay, he'd recover from this... like every other time...
datedmemory:
those notebooks the past him wrote with his important information were helpful but he scolded himself for not including pictures when it came to introducing new people. there were countless names but never their faces to match. the most surprising of them all was to learn he indeed had a significant other.
it was embarrassing to read about– it was like one of those cheesy fiction stories where the main character went on about how much the love interest meant to him. though the difference was this was no story– this was his actual life yet… yet it brought up nothing. no memories at all. all he had was what he wrote.
a seed of growing guilt had planted in him, and it started to grow when a male approached him and immediately hugged him without hesitation. his name was spoken which were accompanied by the words of I missed you. nitori couldn’t move his arms back to hold onto him too. he kept them at his side while he began to shake a little.
was this him?
he couldn’t bring himself to stare him in the face so he settled with looking away while he mumbled in a soft but a bit strained voice.
“sorry.” he paused. “i’m sorry but.. I don’t remember you.”
@sxnota
Leaning into the other, Alexei found comfort for only a split second before he felt the other begin to shake at the touch. Hesitating, he let Nitori go. The first thing he felt was confusion, did he hurt Nitori? No, he didn't. Then the words hit him.
'I don't remember you.'
It was that time again, where Nitori would end up losing his memories and go into this state, Alexei himself didn't know how long it’s been this time, but surely it was fairly recent, considering... No. Did it get worse than before?
He should have been used to this, that this wasn't some once-in-a-lifetime thing, Nitori couldn't help it, yet Alexei still found himself stumbling on words, voice shaky, trying to speak to the other as his mind was close to blanking out from a swarm of thoughts. What if he doesn't come back this time? What if I've lost him for good?
"Don't remember again? It's okay Nitori, it happens a lot, haha..."
@sxnota
he was having a peaceful dream but the sound of paper crumbling caused him to wake. he blinked several times, adjusting his eyes to the light of the room. n looked forward, noticing a spot that was once occupied now open. n honestly wasn’t surprised– alexei probably got up earlier than planned to write away.
which was something he respected about the other. it made his admiration for his partner increase. he had something which he was passionate about; something he got up early to do! N smiled tiredly while he grabbed a pillow, and hugged it to his chest.
“don’t be frustrated~ it’ll come to you. just take your time, and take a break if you’re onn edge~” nitori mumbled as loud as he could.
“...”
Alexei grumbled loudly, wadding up another piece of scribbled-on paper and tossing it over where Nitori was laying down on the bed. “If anything I just need more coffee. But I don’t have any time for breaks, it’s due tonight...” Normally there was no real reason for him to get up like this and start writing, but for once he was getting paid for his work. Someone had the nerve to pay for his absolute trash writing.
“If it doesn’t come to me now then I’m basically screwed Nitori...”
@sxnota
he stood on his toes as he attempted to rest his head on alexeis shoulder. his arms also slid around him, and held him gently.
“have you eaten properly?” he mumbles softly. “if not, I can make you something.”
Alexei sighed as he leaned down to reach Nitori’s height, wrapping one arm around him in return.
“I haven’t eaten today, no. Except for a really small rice bowl for breakfast...” He had felt like regardless of his answer Nitori would still go out of his way to make something. “... I am still hungry, though.”
@sxnota
He sighed happily, and he didn’t want to let go but he eventually did. “ I missed you..”
“But we just saw each other yesterday.”
He looked a bit sad when the other let go, nodding at him. “I missed you a lot too though...”
nitori just hugs him from behind!! happy nitori noises! "alexei!"
Alexei looks behind him, giving Nitori a smile in return. “Hi, Nitori!”
???;
Nitori blinked a few times before he finally registered that he was being spoken to by Niko’s father, or well the man he met that one time during his shift at work. Though it was quite the pleasant surprise to run into him like this. Such a small world they were living in!
“ Ah.. yes! Of course I’d remember you! Your son is a really kind boy..”
“My... son?”
Oh, right, Nikolai always went around referring him as his father, even to absolute strangers. Alexei laughed a bit.
“You mean Nikolai, right? He’s my s--”
He gave out a hacking cough. If he just went out and said it out of the blue like that, certainly he’d look like a weirdo. Then again, he probably already looked like a weirdo to the people passing them by in the aisle, striking up a conversation out of nowhere, and a basket full of only coffee and creamer.
“... e-excuse me. He’s my son, yes...”
@yfyga
“Oh, aren’t you...”
Alexei knew this was a small town and all, but it felt really embarrassing to recognize someone he spent a few minutes talking to with his snake so easily. And in a grocery store, as well.
“You’re the guy from the gardening store, Да? The one who helped Nikolai pick out those flowers...”
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