𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙞𝙡' 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮

𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞 𝙟𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙬𝙤𝙤 penned by 𝑔𝑒𝓂 for 𝕜𝕦𝕞𝕚𝕙𝕠𝕙𝕢.

[sybcritics-blog]

[sybcritics-blog]

mcgicalx‌:

there was a part of her that didn’t want anyone to know about what had happened when she was on vacation. she had already dealt with her parents being over protective, and what was enough for her. but she couldn’t hide it from her friends.  it wasn’t like her to hide things from them. "i almost became lunch for a shark. that’s also why i didn’t come home on the day i was supposed to as well.”  taking the ice pack off of her cheek, she placed it on the counter before looking down to the floor for a moment before looking over at him.  "those other bars are just shit. no offense. they don’t take pride in what they sell. “ she added in.  "keep it up with the compliments and i might just show you the wine cellar here.” a small smile forming on her lips, she nuddged his arm playfully. “that would honestly be great. tell them to come over when ever they have time.”

truth  be  told,  jungwoo  had  just  ASSUMED  that  hana  was  talking  about  something  that  had  happened  at  the  bar  &  grill.  perhaps  that's  what  he  gets  for  letting  his  curiosity  get  the  better  of  him.  though  the  second  she  explains  what  actually  happened,  the  red-haired  male's  brows  raise  in  shock.  "excuse  me  —  what  ?!"  he  asks,  tone  sounding  equally  as  shocked  as  the  look  that  settled  on  his  features.  "okay...  now  you've  got  to  tell  me  the  details,  hana.  it'd  be  so  unfair  if  you  didn't."  jungwoo  continues,  feigning  a  pout  before  a  grin  makes  it's  way  onto  his  lips.  "a  lot  of  people  around  here  are  more  worried  about  getting  money  than  they  are  making  sure  they  keep  their  customers  coming  back.  they'd  rather  have  it  be  constant  new  customers  than  loyal  ones."  he  says  with  a  small  nod  of  his  head.  "oh  ?  and  all  it  will  take  is  a  few  more  compliments  ?  good  thing  i'm  good  at  that."  he  grins,  shooting  a  wink  in  her  direction.  "i  can  definitely  do  that.  i'll  even  come  around  when  they  do  just  to  make  sure  they  don't  try  and  give  you  shit."

[dragonkcn]

“To quote the queen, Beyoncé: I talk like this cuz I can back it up.” Sasha laughed, dancing in place before spinning a new song. “Just think it’s unattractive when people act like they’re too good to be call on their bullshit.”

[sybcritics-blog]

"most  people  can't  —  so  the  fact  you're  that  confident  makes  me  believe  you  might  be  telling  the  truth."  he  retorts  with  a  raise  of  his  brow,  eyes  glancing  around  the  room  before  the  find  their  way  back  to  hers.  "no  one  is  'too  good'  or  'too  important'  to  be  called  out  on  bullshit  if  and  when  they  pull  it."

[sybcritics-blog]

oculvs‌:

                  arden knew the moment her parents mentioned a charity event , it would require her attendance  –  her attendance plus baekhyun , that is . a far too similar routine which she didn’t seem to mind considering it gave her the ability to disappear on end without impending questions . in fact, she made sure that jun personally received an invitation to whatever event had the means for an audience . it may have been cruel of her to flaunt a growing relationship in front of someone who had the potential to be more , especially in such a public setting where their love had to be seen as real . playing the part of something she once didn’t have to pretend shouldn’t be so difficult , but it just felt unnecessary at this point . she never bothered sharing her feelings with baekhyun  –  it’s not like their public image was impacted . if only she felt more secure , more wanted , needed , loved when they were together , it may have been different … would have been different . 

                  she waited an hour , enough time for her to make rounds around the room & play the fabricated facade she’s perfected over the years , but also more than enough time for the guests of the dinner to be drunk on expensive champagne . it’s like clockwork , & it seemed to work every time . she excuses herself then , politely , slipping through the crowd of mingling bodies before any objections could be made .  –  that was more than enough time for her to find herself in the confines of a locked coat closet , back pressed against the door with legs firmly wrapped around jun’s hips . the skirt she had so meticulously picked out now bundled at her waist with torn tights to match . she can’t help the almost pleading words which fall from swollen lips , each more desperate than the last . yet it only takes her a moment to process the jolt of the door against her spine & the more than familiar voice behind the frame .   ‘   fuck   —   '   the exasperated tone does all but match her actions , as she remains unmoving , maybe even tightens her hold around his frame .   ’   i swear to god , if you don’t ignore him . jun , i swear to fucking god .   ’

the  invitation  to  the  charity  event  was  SLIGHTLY  surprising  when  it  turned  up  in  the  mail  –  but  one  look  at  the  guest  list  was  all  it  took  for  jungwoo  to  understand  why  he'd  been  sent  one  as  well.  arden  and  her  parents  were  attending,  as  well  as  baekhyun,  all  three  happened  to  be  the  factors  in  which  jun  decided  to  show  up  as  well.  not  only  that,  he  then  decides  that  he's  going  to  turn  heads,  brand  new  &  heavily  tailored  suit  adorning  his  body  as  he  makes  his  rounds  around  the  room,  never  once  stopping  at  the  table  that  arden  happens  to  be  sitting  at  –  giving  that  group  space  though  his  eyes  do  happen  to  wander  towards  her  figure  here  &  there,  making  sure  that  she  saw  it  every  time  he  did,  the  smirk  on  his  lips  never  leaving  his  features  in  the  process.  god,  the  game  they  played  was  so  beyond  dangerous  but  that's   EXACTLY  why  jungwoo  was  addicted  to  it,  addicted  to  her..  &  the  jealousy  that  grows  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach  whenever  he  sees  her  and  baekhyun  sitting  together  is  fueling  the  flame  even  more.

all  it  takes  is  an  hour  for  arden  to  cave,  his  eyes  following  her  frame  as  she  excuses  herself  from  the  table  &  pushes  through  the  crowd.  he  waits  for  a  few  minutes  afterwards,  pulling  himself  off  the  bar stool  he'd  been  sitting  on  this  whole  time,  body  traveling  in  the  same  direction  she'd  gone  in.  two  minutes  &  he's  locked  in  the  coat  closet  with  her,  lips  crashing  against  hers  the  SECOND  the  door  closes  behind  them.  he  isn't  sure  how  long  it  takes  after  that  for  her  legs  to  be  wrapped  around  his  waist,  arden's  back  pressed  against  the  door,  his  lips  finding  her  neck  in  order  to  leave  a  mark  that  he  knows  the  other  male  would  see.  he's  about  to  take  things  further  when  there's  a  pounding  from  the  other  side  of  the  door.  "well,  well,  well..."  jungwoo  starts  with  a  slight  smirk  on  his  lips,  pulling  his  head  back  in  order  to  give  arden  a  mischievous  look.  "is  that  your  little  boy-toy  i  hear  on  the  other  side  of  the  door?"  he  asks,  brow  raising  as  his  arms  wrap  around  her  waist  in  order  to  pull  them  both  away  from  the  door.  "why  would  i  ignore  him,  hm?"  the  male  asks,  setting  arden  down  &  back  onto  her  feet  with  an  almost  evil  chuckle.  "he  apparently  wants  a  show  –  so  why  not  give  it  to  him?"  the  janitor  continues  to  ask,  walking  over  to  the  door  to  pull  it  open  with  a  grin,  leaning  against  the  frame.  "well  hello,  baek.  surprised  to  see  you  here.  what  brings  you  here?  come  to  watch?"

[sybcritics-blog]

mcgicalx‌:

"it is. but that was nothing compared to what i had to deal with a few months ago.” it was the truth. a small bruise was nothing at all to hana. it was just something small. sure it did piss her off.  especially seeing as she got punched too while trying to break it up. “i’m not like those other bars who have watered down alcohol. i go for the best. and nothing but the best.”  watered down alcohol was something she didn’t have at her bar & grill. to hana, having the best of everything was a must for the place. from the alcohol to the ingredients for the food. all of it was high quality. at the mention of a bouncer, she shrugged her shoulders “not really. but i’m starting to think i should get one now.”

"what  did  you  have  to  deal  with  a  few  months  ago?"  jungwoo  asks  with  a  raise  of  his  brow,  curiosity  getting  the  better  of  him.  it  wasn't  unusual  for  things  to  happen  at  bars,  most  of  the  time  those  things  weren't  the  best.  "those  other  bars  just  want  people  to  think  they're  getting  good  deals  but  they  aren't.  at  least  you're  an  honest  owner.  i  respect  you  for  that."  jun replies  with  a  chuckle,  nodding  gently.  "why  do  you  think  i  keep  coming  back  to  this  place?"  he  teases,  nudging  her  with  his  elbow  lightly.  he  loved  the  place,  not  just  because  of  the  alcohol  –  the  atmosphere  was  great  too.  "it's  something  to  look  into.  i  know  a  few  people  that  are  looking  for  job.  if  you  want  i  can  tell  them  to  come  here  and  talk  to  you  if  you'd  like?"

[dragonkcn]

“The best deserves the best and baby, I’m one of them.” Sasha winks, toying with the turntable once more as a new song begins to play. “You sound like my kind of guy.”

[sybcritics-blog]

"someone's  a  little  cocky."  jungwoo  retorts  with  a  small  chuckle,  taking  a  sip  of  the  beer  that'd  been  in  his  grasp  this  whole  time.   "what  do  you  mean  by  that?  you've  got  me  curious?"

[sybcritics-blog]

oculvs‌:

                  it felt like more than a simple mistake on her part , it felt malignant , it felt like an anger that she hadn’t felt with anyone in years  –  all acted upon in the span of barely thirty - seconds . she asked herself for days if it was truly worth trying to contact him , the question passing through a mind muddled with inebriation & a desperation she couldn’t even begin to explain . but no matter how many times arden seemed to have the same thought , she always found herself being the one repeating the same apology to a voicemail for an automated voice to repeat the same message back every time : voicemail box is full . & considering how much newly found time she had on her hands , it gave her plenty of opportunities to replay the guilt she felt the moment her palm felt the sting of his cheek . more so the moments following with his immediate , wordless departure & her impending breakdown in the privacy of one of the side - rooms  –  one of which sent her home early , offering no explanation on her sudden going . to her , swollen eyes & the barely bleeding crescents of nails pressed to palms were enough .

                  a part of her was hoping he wouldn’t open the door , wouldn’t invite her in . it would give her the confirmation she needed to move on & attempt to forget whatever emotions she felt growing towards him . but it had never been that easy , & it never would be . she watches him for a moment , eyeing his appearance ; her guilt only grew as she did . there’s a hesitance in her step as she moves forward , crossing the doorframe to a home she felt less comfortable in at the moment . her gaze  instantly falls to her feet, fingers toying with the buttons lining her coat . fuck , everything she wanted to say for days seemed to disappear in a matter of seconds , & whatever composure she tried to maintain dissipated with every step she took .   ’   god , i’m so sorry .   ‘   she almost blurts out , body turning to face him , gaze following suit . the moment the words fell through lips , she was practically unable to stop whatever came next , everything she had been holding onto now composed into various drawls & pleas .   '   if you hate me   –   i get it … i get it . but if you want nothing to do with me ? you need to say it to my face . not by ignoring my texts , my calls , whatever . right now … say it .   '   with every statement , her voice grew more strained , throat tightening almost instinctively . she wants nothing more than for him to tell her the exact opposite , but she won’t push , won’t beg no matter how much she feels the need to .   ’   i’m sorry … but i’ll understand .   ’ 

that  night  had  replayed  in  jungwoo's  mind  many,  many  times  –  a  horrible  loop  that  seemed  to  follow  him  no  matter  what  he  tried  to  do  to  forget  about  it.  had  it  been  something  arden  had  wanted  to  do  to  him  for  a  while  ?  or  was  it  just  something  that  happened  to  be  a  completely  accident  ?  a  slip  of  the  mind  ?  he  wasn't  sure  –  but  alcohol,  drugs...  nothing  seemed  to  help  him  FORGET.  none  of  it  seemed  to  numb  him  enough  for  his  mind  to  just  stop  reminding  him,  not  enough  to  make  jun  stop  missing  her.  he's  listened  to  all  of  the  voicemails,  knows  that  each  &  every  one  of  them  sounded  beyond  sincere,  but  jungwoo  couldn't  bring  himself  to  call  her  back.  perhaps  it  was  just  his  way  of  trying  to  distance  himself  for  his  own  good  –  for  his  own  feelings.  a  way  to  pretend  that  he  doesn't  even  care  about  what  happened,  that  his  heart  doesn't  ache  over  the  distance  he's  put  between  himself  &  arden.  but  it  does,  nothing  he  can  tell  himself  or  try  to  convince  himself  of  beats  out  the  fact  that  it's  the  truth.  however,  his  ego  &  past  self  refuses  to  let  people  see  that  side  of  him,  far  too scared  it'd  come  across  as  weak...  and  that  wasn't  him  at  all.

he  doesn't  want  to  even  get  up  off  the  couch,  honestly.  but  he's  hungry  &  the  food  he  ordered  was  probably  going  to  be  the  best  part  about  his  day  –  so  he  does  get  up.  but  the  person  behind  the  door  is  NOT  the  delivery  person  he  expects  it  to  be.  it's  arden  &  the  sight  of  her  causes  his  heart  to  drop  to  his  feet  but  also  causes  his  heart  rate  to  increase  in  speed  at  the  same  time.  it's  a  rush  but  he  can't  figure  out  if  it's  a  bad  or  good  thing  at  the  moment,  he  was  sure  he'd  find  out  soon  enough,  though.  his  breath  hitches  in  his  throat,  silence  washing  over  the  two  of  them.  it's  nerve-wracking  &  that's  horrifying..  he's  felt  like  this  once  before  in  his  life  but  that  ended  in  a  mess.  ended  in  a  way  that  he  never  wanted  to  do  that  to  anyone  again.  he  follows  arden  into  the  house,  closing  the  door  behind  them  with  a  soft  sigh,  chewing  on  his  bottom  lip.  this  is  one  of  the  hardest  things  he'd  have  to  do  in  a  while,  but  he  also  knows  it  needs  to  be  done.  he  wants  to  say  something,  though  listening  to  her  apology  causes  his  words  to  catch  in  his  throat  once  more.  "do  you  really  think  i  fucking  hate  you,  arden ??"  it  comes  out  a  little  more  snippy  than  he  expects  it  to,  brows  knitting  together.  "if  i  hated  you,  you  wouldn't  have  that  key  in  your  hand,  you  wouldn't  have  my  number  –  you'd  be  blocked  already."  he  continues,  running  his  hands  through  his  messy  hair  only  to  plop  himself  back  down  onto  the  couch.  "jesus  christ."  he  breathes  out  with  another  sigh,  almost  instantly  picking  himself  back  up  of  the  couch  instantly  making  his  way  towards  her.  "shut  up  already,  fucking  hell.  i  heard  every  apology,  every  voicemail.  everything."  jungwoo  continues,  reaching  out  to  cupping  her  cheek  with  the  palm  of  his  hand.  "i  don't  hate  you...  i  could  never  hate  you.  i  don't  think  i  ever  could."

[dragonkcn]

“Cuz I’m good at this,” Sasha replied with a smirk, doing a little shimmy as she addressed the male. Lately, it seemed people went to the clubs for anything but fun which is a shame. “I’ll hold you to that, hun.”

[sybcritics-blog]

"wouldn't  expect  any  less,  heard  this  place  only  hired  the  best."  the  red-headed  male  retorts  with  a  chuckle  of  his  own,  nodding  his  head  lightly.  "trust  me,  i'm  in  here  enough  that  i'll  stick  to  it.  and  if  i  don’t?  people  here  know  me  well  enough  to  call  me  out  for  it."

[dragonkcn]

“Trust me, I know the right song to play.” Sasha winked, toying with the turntable while her companion stood next to her in the booth. They were up high, amongst the sweaty, dancing crowd of the nightclub, every figure basked in the illuminating strobe lights. This was Sasha’s sanctuary. “Now go get your mack on!”

[sybcritics-blog]

truth  be  told,  jungwoo  had  been  at  the  club  for  business  purposes,  but  the  person  he  was  meeting  happened  to  text  him  that  they'd  be  late  so  why  not  enjoy  it  while  he  was  waiting  ?  "is  that  so?  how  do  you  know  i'll  like  it?"  jun  counters  with a  chuckle.  though  he's  merely  messing  around  with  her.  however,  the  next  comment  causes  his  brows  to  raise.  "oh..  i'm  actually  waiting  for  someone,  so  i  don't  think  i  have  time  for  that  right  now.  next  time,  yeah ?"

[oculvs]

                   it’s been six days since she’s truly seen him , six days since receiving a single text , six days since he’s returned one of her many , many phone calls - a lot of which she didn’t truly remember even making . it was her desperate , pathetic attempt to get him to even say a single word to her after the events of the masquerade . & it was during those days where arden kept having to tell herself that this growing attachment of hers could be broken , that it was just another way for her to lessen her bouts of boredom . but she’s become so accustomed to him being a part of her life ; at home , in public , at their place of work , & anything else simply felt … wrong . it’s strange , how reliant she’s become to jungwoo’s presence that even her attempts of taking copious colored pills & emptying liquor bottles didn’t seem to do much to ease her worries . yet even she was smart enough to know there had been an underlying reason , one of which she wasn’t ready to admit  -  not yet , that is .   –   it was a mistake , a single , momentary relapse of indignation that forced her into an action which sealed itself with unhinged guilt . arden didn’t blame him for being upset , no , but more so the anger she felt with herself for allowing her emotions to act on something ; something she promised she would never take part in , something that she told herself would stay a part of the past . but as they say : like father , like daughter . 

                   she’s unsure as to why she thought it would be a good idea to come to his home , standing before the door - frame as fingers toy with the spare key she now calls her own . but rather than entering on her own accord ( like she did normally ) , finger presses atop the doorbell . she felt like a stranger , absolved of any previous connection to the point where even being there felt wrong . & maybe it truly was a mistake to show up uninvited , but being cut off to the point of no communication for a week was more than enough for her to realize how much she genuinely needed his company , no matter how small . about thirty seconds pass , & she’s debating on leaving , leaving & forgetting that she ever made the effort to fix whatever she broke - that is until she hears the lock click , door opening a moment later . arden still felt like a stranger , disconnected , unwanted .   ’   hi .   ’   it’s barely a whisper , just loud enough for him to hear from the space between them .   ’   jun , i - … can i come in ?   '   i feel so fucking awful .   ’   please ?   '   please talk to me .  ( @sybcritics​ )

[sybcritics-blog]

the  charity  ball  had  been  something  jungwoo  had  been  looking  forward  to  for  a  while,  a  night  he  could  just  let  loose  &  have  a  blast.  though  that  night  did  NOT  end  how  the  janitor  thought  it  would  have.  he  figured  he'd  be  taking  someone  back  to  his  place,  completely  forgetting  he  was  even  at  the  ball  in  the  first  place  with  them.  but  god,  was  he  wrong.  so  incredibly  so  that  he  almost  can't  believe  the  events  that  happened  were  real.  him  and  arden  had  gotten  into  an  argument,  though  this  one  was  different  than  their  usual  ones  —  the  atmosphere  was  so  different,  colder  than  usual.  as  was  the  slap  that  she  placed  across  his  cheek,  skin  stinging  almost  immediately  afterwards.  sure,  he'd  been  pushing  the  conversation,  digging  into  her  fake  relationship  &  probably  said  a  few  things  he  should  have.  but  the  sting?  it  was  something  he  never  expected,  something  that  physically  &  emotionally  shocked  him  to  the  point  he  didn't  even  RESPOND  to  it  —  turning  on  his  heels  in  the  opposite  direction  of  arden's  figure,  quickly  finding  his  way  back  to  the  open  bar  only  in  an  attempt  to  drown  out  what  had  just  transpired.  it's  the  reason  he  hasn't  seen  her  in  almost  a  week  —  the  reason  he's  chosen  not  to.  countless  text  messages  left  on  read,  even  more  phone  calls  left  to  go  to  voicemail.  he  doesn't  want  to  talk,  doesn't  want  to  have  the  conversation  because  he  knows  that  if  he  does,  he'll  he'd  have  to  admit  to  having  his  feelings  HURT  by  the  action.  not  because  he  didn't  deserve  it  (  he's  sure  he  somewhat  did.  )  but  because  it  came  from  her.

six  days  started  to  feel  like  ten,  twenty  —  an  entire  month,  though.  it's  TERRIFYING  for  jungwoo  to  admit,  but  he  does  miss  having  the  consistency  that  she  provided  even  if  it  wasn't  really  all  that  consistent  due  to  their  lives  &  the  things  she  had  going  on  in  her  own.  it's  obvious  that  it's  effected  him,  though,  slight  bags  under  his  eyes  —  hair  looks  like  it  hasn't  been  brushed  or  combed  in  those  SIX  days.. old  t-shirt  &  ripped  pair  of  sweats  becoming  jun's  safe  haven  of  sorts  as  he  locked  himself  within  the  confines  of  his  home.  the  knock  on  the  door  causes  him  to  jolt  in  his  seat,  eyes  darting  from  the  tv  to  the  door  as  he  pulls  himself  of  the  plush  cushions.  truth  be  told,  he  thought  it  was  the  food  he'd  ordered  a  little  while  ago  —  not  giving  it  a  second  of  consideration  as  to  the  fact  that  maybe  it  wasn't  as  he  threw  the  door  open.  it's  then  that  he  feels  like  the  air  gets  KNOCKED  out  of  his  lungs,  gaze  dropping  to  her  smaller  frame  with  a  slight  sigh.  "hey."  he  replies,  brows  knitting  together  for  a  moment  as  he  decides  what  to  do  —  ultimately  pulling  the  door  open  further  so  that  she  could  enter  instead  of  closing  it  once  more.

[sybcritics-blog]

mcgicalx‌:

“i’m fine.” she noted. she had a lot worse happen to her than a bruise that would end up forming on her cheek. so this was nothing to her. if anything, it was a small thing. nothing to serious. but it did piss her off. she had a strict rule of no fighting at her bar & grill. one that most people listened too. even her longtime customers followed it.  "you’re never that way when you’re here though.“ she pointed out.  and she was thankful for that. the fact that there were some people out there that didn’t fight at her bar & grill meant a lot. "i’ll do my best to let you know first. can’t make any promises though. especially if it looks like they might make a mess of things.”

"it's  still  shitty,  them  thinking  that  shit  was  okay."  jun  replies  with  a  soft  sigh,  returning  his  focus  back  to  the  drink  that'd  be  in  his  grasp  ever  since  he  walked  over  to  where  she  was  sitting  —  tilting  it  back  to  finish  off  the  last  of  his  whiskey.  "i'm  never  that  way  here  because  this  is  one  of  the  few  places  around  town  where  the  whiskey  doesn't  taste  like  watered  down  bullshit."  he  explains  with  a  chuckle,  setting  his  empty  glass  on  the  counter  in  front  of  him  with  a  shrug.  "ever  thought  about  getting  yourself  some  security.  not  like  a  bouncer  or  anything  like  that,  just  someone  else  to  handle  the  dickheads  so  you  don't  have  to?"

[sybcritics-blog]

hellfiresd‌:

                  “  like pretending is gonna make the experience any less traumatic for you.  ”  they giggle, crossing both arms over their chest.  “  i mean, it’s definitely your loss for not listening, then. it was a pretty extreme job and a once in a fucking lifetime kind of deal, i got compensated and never contacted again  —  the dream, as one would possibly call it.  ”  they smirk, scoffing at the other’s comment.  “  well, it’s easy to guess which one’s the most obvious choice.  and violence is never the answer  !  it’s only okay if someone really fucking deserves a nice crack in their nose.  ”  

"maybe  not  but  it  makes  me  forget  for  a  few  moments  before  it  comes  back  to  haunt  me."  jungwoo  retorts  with  a  slightly  offended  sounding  scoff.  "that  shit  is  so  beyond  dangerous,  though  —  you're  lucky  you're  still  alive  and  that  your  ass  is  still  attached  to  you."  he  teases,  reaching  over  to  pat  them  on  the  shoulder  lightly.  "oh  is  it  now?  go  ahead,  take  a  guess.  i'd  love  to  hear  what  you  think  you  know  about  me."  the  red-head  challenges,  a  smirk  forming  on  his  lips  to  match  that  of  theirs.  "oh  trust  me,  it  is  most  certainly  an  answer  —  one  that  works  really  well.  but  i'm  not  talking  about  being  violent  with  another  person.  i'm  talking  about  breaking  plates,  glass,  shit  you  can  shoot  at  or  just  throw  on  the  ground."

[sybcritics-blog]

angelsighs‌:

unexpected  words  serve  as  enough  motivation  for  jaehwan  to  lift  his  head   ,   gaze  unsteady  as  he  looks  toward  jungwoo    —–    nerves   getting  the  best  of  him   ,   and   oh   ,   he  could  really  use  a  blunt  right  now  to  soothe  them   ,   but  a  medic  should  be  in  the   RIGHT   state  of  mind  whenever  he’s  on  duty   ,   right   ?   there’s  a  shake  of  his  head   ,   denying   something  he  hasn’t  even  been  accused  of  yet   .    ‘    i   —-    ’    jaehwan  starts  what  he  can’t  finish   :   an  explanation  for  his   strange   behaviour   .   he’s  never  been   normal   ,   but  he  certainly  has  been   trying   his  best  to  fit  in     —–   after  four  years   ,   he’s  still  lingering  on  the  outskirts  of  it  all   .   he  knows  where  his  loyalties  lie   ,   but  he  can’t  bring  himself  to  truly   immerse   himself  in  the   family   aspect  of  it  all   .     ‘    it’s  nothing  personal   …   i  just   …   usually  keep  to myself  aside  from  jobs  and  events  and  stuff   .   sorry  if  i’ve   …   offended   you   .    ’    gaze  is  down  yet  again   ,   merely  out  of  habit   ,   but  conversation  reminds  him  to  look  back  up  again   ,   even  trying  to   smile  a  little  in  the  other’s  direction   .

"contrary  to  what  people  usually  think,  i'm  not  going  to  bite  your  head  off.  breathe,  it's  all  good."  jungwoo  starts,  voice  softer  than  usual  in  order  to  try  to  show  the  other  he  was  telling  the  truth.  sure,  he  had  a  reputation  of  being  the  grumpy  jackass  but  that  wasn't  who  he  was  ALL  the  time.  especially  not  when  he's  around  people  due  to  the  mastermind's  orders.  he  tries  to  be  a  little  less  harsh,  less  intimidating  &  scary.  though  he's  unsure  if  his  attempts  actually  work  or  not.  "no,  not  offended  in  the  slightest.  just  simply  curious.  some  of  us  are  here  by  choice,  some  of  us  are  here  because  we  didn't  have  any  other  options."  jun  starts,  running  a  hand  through  his  hair  with  a  soft  chuckle.  the  janitor  was  in  the  crew  by  CHOICE,  he  wanted  to  be  here,  wanted  to  have  this  side  of  his life  —  but  he  knows  not  everyone  does  &  that's  okay  too.  "that's  probably  not  the  worst  idea  you  can  have,  honestly.  keeping  to  yourself  means  you  don't  get  attached  to  people,  just  in  case  some  bad  shit  happens  or  something  like  that,  you  know?"  the  red-headed  male  asks  with  a  slight  raise  of  his  brow,  continuing  to  lean  against  the  door  frame.  "so  what's  it  for  you?  you  choose  to  be  here  or  did  you  not  really  have  another  option?"

[sybcritics-blog]

“ i thought you only had eyes for me ” from jojo :^)

his  breath  intake  increases  for  a  moment,  sigh  passing  through  his  lips  in  the  process.  "and  i  did,  at  one  time  jojo.  god  i  did,  you  were  the  only  damn  thing  on  my  mind  for  as  long  as  we  were  together  &  i  kept  questioning  why  in  the  hell  you  were  even  with  me  in  the  first  place  because  i  knew  then  that  you  deserved  better.  but  things  have  changed  now,  we  have  changed,  we’ve  grown  older.  i’ve  realized  my  mistakes  &  i’m  trying  to  be  a  better  person  than  i  was  back  then.  i  will  always  love  you,  there’s  no  doubt  about  that.  but  this  love  in  my  chest?  it’s  different  than  it  was  back  then.  it’s  not  romantic  anymore  and  i  hope  you  can  forgive  me  for  that.  it’s  always  there,  though.  always  will  be.“ ( @syrupytm )

[sybcritics-blog]

talk about the person u love without using their name.

“tends  to  get  on  my  last  nerve  a  lot,  to  be  honest.  tries  to  be  a  badass  but  is  actually  a  dumbass  but  that’s  okay  because  so  am  i.  has  a  habit  of  being  a  smartass  at  the  literal  worst  times  ever.  doesn’t  know  when  to  shut  up.  pocket  sized  but  thinks  they’re  eight  feet  tall.  you  know,  everything  that  actually  gets  under  my  skin..  they  do  it.”

[sybcritics-blog]

who do you love?

“isn’t  this  a  song  they  play  over  the  radio?  or  am  i  just  imagining  things?  anyways.  i  uh,  don’t  really  think  i’m  fully  'in  love’  with  anyone  as  of  right  now.  i’m  sure  it’ll  happen  eventually,  but  for  now  i’m  just  riding  the  waves  or  whatever  saying  the  hippies  use.”

[sybcritics-blog]

who's a better fuck arden or baek

“they  both  have  their  ups  &  downs,  most  people  do.  i  guess  it  all  depends  on  what  kind  of  mood  i’m  in  at  the  time,  honestly.  they’re  both  GOOD,  there’s  no  question  there..  but  as  to  who’s  'better’?  i  think  we  all  know  my  answer.”

mentioned  (  @oculvs  &  @invincbles  ).