Chill

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[espressogal]

once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!

[succubusboyfriend]

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

[succubusboyfriend]

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

[succubusboyfriend]

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

[demonprincex]

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that

[marimekkogirl]

anyway I love things like having independence, being intelligent, taking pride in my skills, not feigning incompetence, referring to myself as a woman instead of a girl, aging unapologetically, having pores, stretch marks, grey hairs, wrinkles and body fat, listening to my body's needs, eating as much as I need to satisfy my hunger, being bare-faced, wearing comfortable clothes, etcetera

[an-eccentric-devil]

I think more people need to learn the phrase "I don't know enough about that to have a strong opinion" its literally a cheat code for awkward conversations

[an-eccentric-devil]

its ok if you actually do know a lot about the thing and/or have strong opinions about it btw. you can just lie

[canineentity]

“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

[positivelyqueer]

If you're someone who struggles with interoception (knowing/understanding what your body is feeling):

if there's a task, especially a recurring one, that you find difficult to do and that you keep avoiding, check whether you're in pain or physical discomfort.

For a long time I would avoid doing tasks like showering because they nebulously made me feel 'bad' or i just instinctively felt like avoiding them. It wasn't until I got a shower chair that I realised standing to shower was causing me pain. My bodymind knew that on some level but didn't tell the conscious me.

Similarly with sensory aversions (things you don't like). Before I got kitchen gloves, I did the dishes but it took me a long time and I never wanted to. Afterward, it got a lot easier to motivate myself.

"But how can you not know you're in pain/uncomfortabke?" Extremely easily if your brain is wired a specific way or if you were taught, intentionally or not, to downplay your own experiences or distance yourself from your body.

There's no shame in struggling with these things. hope y'all are having nice days and you're able to do something today that makes it a little easier.

[peach-pot]

recently saw a comment section full of people, primarily women, talking about loving living with their best friend and being sad about having to live separately one day. some people talking about missing living with their best friend, some talking about “getting” to live with their best friend “until” they find partners. saw one person mention that moving out to move in with a partner felt like a divorce. it makes me so genuinely sad… all these people recognizing the joy they can find living outside the norm, letting themself live with a friend instead of a romantic partner, but still feeling like they have to live with a spouse eventually. like it’s not even a decision, just an inevitability.

[peach-pot]

similarly, it makes me sad when someone shares their happiness from living with a friend with others and the biggest response is people insisting/assuming they must have a secret unrecognized romantic connection. just taking over a moment of joy to insist they’re wrong about their own life and feelings; all to reinforce the lifestyle everyone is already expected to conform to eventually…

[thatpinkkwitch]

i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

[rythms-of-synthax-deactivated20]

Quote of the day

[liones-s]

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

[velartis]

“what radicalized you” bro EMPATHY

[cookies-over-yonder]

#correction: compassion #empathy is a feeling and not something you can control. it’s morally neutral. some people can’t feel it #due to disability or otherwise. COMPASSION; however; is a muscle anyone can train. it requires intellect #and a heart; not ‘putting yourself in someone’s shoes’; but believing that they deserve dignity; freedom and rights because they’re HUMAN #sorry for being pedantic about this. it’s the autism. (via @dandelionjack)

[hizerain]

20250518

I've made the mistake of reducing many of my hobbies to work. Moreover, it has often been work to serve someone else opposed to myself. The key example I inevitably keep returning to is the practice of keeping a notebook, both how I keep it and what I keep. Much of it has been informed by external sources solving external problems, instead of being focused on helping me solve whatever problem I have. To no one's surprise, practices with such flawed foundations often end up being draining. I'm trying to re-evaluate my notebooks, but in a way that I don't overcomplicate things needlessly. After all, I don't live to work.

[theambitiouswoman]

[achillesinhighheels]

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Saying "I'm not going to draw this thing because I don't know how to draw this thing" is really shooting yourself in the foot, because you've now cut yourself off from an opportunity to grow.

I had a friend in college who was an absolutely amazing artist. I loved seeing his work! One time I said something to the effect of "I could never do that."

He told me something that, as an artist, I resonate with. He said art isn't about natural talent; it's a learned skill. When you tell an artist their level of skill is impossible for you to reach, you're assuming their level of skill is a natural gifting they have, and it discredits the hundreds to thousands of hours of hard work they've put into getting where they are today, and you're cutting yourself off from trying to reach that point yourself.

[what-hos-there]

I don't remember where I heard this but I wish I could, because it stuck with me:

Talent is THE RATE at which you learn things, not whether or not you can learn certain skills at all.

And that suddenly clicked for me. I have been very talented with a lot of things in my life and once I realized that I had basically been getting XP multipliers on my normal life experiences, it suddenly felt so much less awful to realize that I did not have the same advantage with other skills I struggle with, and that's okay. I might even have some debuffs on those, and that's okay. It's still all gaining as long as I keep working on it!!

[icantbearsedtothinkofone]

Absolutely this. If I say "I could never do that" what I mean is that I would find it difficult in a way that's beyond the level at which "keep trying and improving a bit at a time" would be at all rewarding. It would be really unpleasant and I'd resent the time I'd "wasted" trying to do it well when I could have spent that time on something else.

Could I do it? Yeah, eventually, probably, technically, but the attempt would seriously impact my mental health long before I actually got any good at it.

[phraz]

The older you get, the more you realize it's not about who knows you the longest, it's about who makes you feel seen, heard, understood, appreciated, supported and loved.

[br-o-ken-poetry]

Things You Don't Comment On:

- someone’s eating habits

- appearance issues that can’t be fixed there and then

- someone else’s “bad” decision if it can’t now be undone

- someone’s laugh or voice

- someone’s “unrealistic” dreams

- someone “not looking their best” in photos

- someone not wanting to do something and trying to subtly avoid it without making a fuss

- anything that you know will make someone self conscious or insecure unnecessarily

[manga-netflix-music-life]

I feel like 1 and 3 are okay depending on the person and situation.

Like if you’re very close to someone and noticed they suddenly eat very little or very much, while they never did, that could be due to a mental health issue, so it should be discussed.

And sometimes people do not fully realise something is a bad choice (for example entering a toxic relationship). So it can be dicussed to protect someone.