Bro, relax. I’m literally just vibing @sybilazu - Tumblr Blog

God knew I’d be too powerful if I could process what you say to me the first time

#shitpost #auditory processing disorder #I actually have amazing hearing #to a point where it can be painful at times #but what GOOD IS IT #I have a damn super power #that’s rendered USELESS by people having multiple conversations at the same time

I dunno, man. My budget’s down to whatever I can find in the couch cushions. What do you want from me?

#sure hope the spiders have been paying their rent #shitpost #i am just a girl #just a lil creature #I cannot change this

I’ll forever be pissed that I inherited my dad’s gene, of naturally waking up early, as well as my mom’s gene OF NOT BEING A MORNING PERSON

It can be kinda fun to finally meet with family members or friends you haven’t seen in a long while.

Obviously, you’re gonna enjoy being in each other’s company again. And all that.

BUT, it also somehow completely disintegrates my filter. So I’m totally free to just say: I read a book!! And I hope you dipshits are prepared for the info-dump of a lifetime. Prepare to be amazed, fuckers

SO APPARENTLY I TECHNICALLY HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. BUT NO ONE (INCLUDING MYSELF) REALIZED IT BECAUSE IT JUST MAKES MY NATURAL PREFERENCES LEAN MOSTLY TOWARDS HEALTHY OPTIONS ANYWAY, ENOUGH SO THAT WE DIDN’T NOTICE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

#WTF #how the hell am I supposed to explain this to other people?

Haven’t slept in a solid 34 hours and now I wanna power wash the sun

#shitpost #I also haven’t produced any saliva in all that time #but that’s neither here nor there #sleep deprived thoughts

This just in,

My dumb ass just thought about ctrl-Z-ing a physical drawing

You’ll have to go through an obstacle course and answer my riddles three if you wanna know my birth date

#you gotta pass the vibe check first #you gotta EARN IT #I be swinging like a pendulum between over sharing like hell and whatever this is #relatable memes

“How are you doing? How have things been?”

Hmmmm. Oh, oof. Okay, I know this one. Cmon brain-

Ohhh we be doing SIDE QUESTS today

I need everyone to know that when I use 🙂 I’m always picturing the smiling face of a broken man who’s eye is about to start twitching

I really wish there was some kind of online class that just teaches shit that’s meant to be “common knowledge.”