Syd-Marten

26 | Butch | Transmasc | Stone | They/He

[sydmartenbutch]

Hello, I am coming back to tumblr after a decade away. This time with the intention of finding community.

I am a butch, transmasc, lesbian. Unfortunately, I have had other queer people in my circle deny my butchness and it has made me feel very disgusted with myself. I take T regularly one: because trans and two: because I have diaphragmatic endometriosis and it’s really the only thing that keeps it at bay (most of the time).

About me:

My name is Syd-Marten, you can just call me Syd though. I haven’t mustered the confidence to really go by both of my first names quite yet.

- Pronouns: They/He | 26 year old Midwestern butch

- I am a writer, specifically poetry and I have been published a few times.

-I have also worked on several literary magazines.

-Undergraduate degree in English and Creative Writing and I also have a certificate of Celtic Studies. I studied abroad and spent a month in a Gaeltacht region of Ireland in Glencolumbkille during my final year of university.

- I love to make cocktails, drink cocktails, cook, and I am slowly falling back in love with lifting and working out and cycling.

- I am autistic and cocktail making is one of my special interests.

- TERFs, Transmedicalists, Ableists, White Supremacists, Bigots, Racists are not welcome here.

-Free Palestine 🇵🇸

[sydmartenbutch]

Meet Hephaestus. My first non steel frame bike!

Don’t even ask about my Peugeot restoration. I am so over these mechanics.

[sydmartenbutch]

Finally nailed my V1-V3 project I’ve been working on since last week. Really proud of my breathing and how stable I stayed in the beginning. Was nervous at the top with those sloper holds, but we did it!

It’s been so great to come back to climbing, I’ve missed this

[sydmartenbutch]

Got that climbing physique I guess? Still so wild that I get to just wake up without my chest anymore.

[sydmartenbutch]

Went on strike with my coworkers today. Climbed a tree later.

Anyways, give FairWave, a private equity coffee conglomerate based out of Kansas City, Missouri a ring and tell them to stop committing unfair labor practices at Anodyne Coffee by unilaterally changing our jobs while actively in the middle of bargaining without coming to the table on what adequate staffing and labor would look like with such changes.

[email protected] is their email if you have the time. Let’s flood their inboxes.

[sydmartenbutch]

Back at it today! Officially treated myself to a monthly membership again 🥹

[sydmartenbutch]

do you like history? one of my fave YouTubers recently released an hour long video on historical cocktails and it's sooooo funny. i thought of you ✨✨

-teal

I love history, especially if it involves historical cocktails! What was the video? I would love to watch it :)

[sydmartenbutch]

I’m sure my form is rough. However, many years ago (like 4) I used to boulder and then due to finances and my transmission going out on my car, I couldn’t afford the membership for the gym I climbed at anymore. But I just got a free two week membership and it’s been nice to get back into it. I forgot how much my autistic brain likes the puzzle of a route, and it’s so much nicer to move on the wall post top surgery

[sydmartenbutch]

I don’t know if any of my other followers watch interior motives, but last weeks episode with the first room that featured a 26 year old transmasculine person really struck a nerve. Has anyone else noticed or started to notice how much more mean they are when they suspect the room to belong to that of a trans man or transmasc person? It’s been haunting me, and I know it’s just a show but damn.

It’s getting harder and harder to identify as transmasculine these days. I know in my heart that I am, but honestly I am over telling people. I am so tired. I could talk about the assaults I’ve faced well into my transition over the last couple years. The man who trucked me down at a bar two years ago and followed me into the bathroom. The husband and wife at a bar who got mad at me when I wouldn’t go home with them to be a third, and how they took it out on me. The roofie that was slipped into my drink. The night I lost memories for the year to come. How customers at work degrade me when I am on register. But what does it matter? The world isn’t going to listen.

[sydmartenbutch]

Survived the night

[sydmartenbutch]

Alright twist my arm. I’ll go out to the lesbian bar with my top surgery scars out and have too many cigarettes and g&t’s.

[sydmartenbutch]

I’m 26 and this pride month the thought of actually going out and facing festival crowds is too much. It makes me sad because I feel like I can’t be in community, but since finally getting my autism diagnosis awhile back I’ve learned that I cannot handle crowds and I know it won’t be a good time for me. So this pride month I’ve decided to dedicate a Strava activity each day to a trans person who has lost their life this year. It’s not much, but it’s something and by saying their names and honoring their life I hope to keep them alive in community and in spirit

If any of you on here use Strava and want to follow along I will leave the link to my account below. Happy Pride. I love you. Tell your friends you love them. Be well. Be safe.

Yours ~ one really autistic butch

[sydmartenbutch]

My first pride month with top surgery.

[sydmartenbutch]

Ooof getting a little risqué on the timeline.

The body is a weird thing. As I reflect on being post top surgery, lately I’ve been stuck on being desired and seen in a nipple free, trans butch body. I want to be handsome and pretty. I want people to see my masculinity, but I don’t want them to erase my delicacies. To see my jawline, cleft chin, but still my dimples and the softness in my eyes. The way I still sit with my legs crossed. The supple feel of my shoulders. My ability to be tender in a rigid world

Idk I'm rambling, none of this makes any sense probably.

Anyone else feel a connection to their femininity after top surgery?

[sahlofolina]

there's this specific grief that comes with being trans and hearing another trans person has died. because no matter how far away they were, it never feels distant, it feels communal. cellular. like someone reached into the wiring of your own body and cut a thread. trans people learn early on in their journey - often even before they begin transitioning - that survival is treated like a political statement. joy is political. transition is political. getting to exist long enough to become boring is political.

and now mourning is political, too.

i'm so sorry, murry foust. i keep thinking about how tired you must have been. how tired all of us are. how humiliating it is that even when we die alone, people still laugh and debate whether we deserved to live a happy, dignified life at all.

there are trans kids online right now learning your name – and the names of juniper blessing, lucas redbeard knapp, aleanna belcher, and davonta curtis – through grief. through fear. through that horrible, familiar ache of "that could've been me." and i hate that this is part of our inheritance from one another. not just chosen family and resilience and beauty – but memorials. vigils. apology letters to ghosts.

you deserved better. you deserved to grow old and live a happy, fulfilled life. all of us do. i promise we will keep fighting for our community to have a better future and we'll carry our lost siblings the whole way through.

[sydmartenbutch]

My dad relapsing and his estranged sister coming out of the woodwork to say nasty things to me was not on my bingo cards this year for 2026. I’m so tired. I need the rest of this year to be gentle with me.

[sydmartenbutch]

Depression fridge cleaned