sydney quin was meant to be a mother. she was... supposed to be one, permanently, not for three years til the universe said BITCH, YOU THOUGHT! mothering anybody else is AN ACT OF BETRAYAL. sid does not intend to betray her daughter, ivy. and still. nature can’t totally be shaken. not for sid, not with this. so she sprinkles maternal love over friends, and their hands she’ll hold without verbal prompt, the dependency she has in answering a call no matter the hour. all of this love has to go somewhere, after all. what i’m saying is sid doesn’t have to be a mother to unleash this instinct. a happy life means friends to cry with, bitch with, dance with. hands to hold, food to burn and replace with the nearest takeout option. ( it’s dairy queen, if you were wondering. )
out of this vein, in a whole other body, is the survival of her business. she’s privileged enough where the financial aspect of it wouldn’t be a concern, should it fail. but it’s her project. seeds of her own happiness are planted. sprouted is the beauty and joy of others. sid is not quick to let go of this dynamic, even if the month of november watches her stretched too thin, a woman scattered.
both are currently possessed by sid.
what’s missing... a husband and a daughter. the perfect life, for sid, has a mould. this mould is unattainable, and sid has learned to be okay with that. no, she doesn’t have a perfect life, but she has a happy one; it doesn’t have to be imagined when it’s felt.
( side note: don’t tell sid, but she’d loathe this ‘perfect life’. to be tied down, not working again, bound to the home? it GETS OLD. she doesn’t know it, but like the jeans that once fit, this mould shaped by a 20 year old just doesn’t work for sid anymore. and yet it’s what she knows & what she thinks she wants. )