when he finds land, he doesn’t speak right away, barely looks at him, barely acknowledges him at all, stepping past him for a moment to saunter over towards one of the nearby windows, peaking out at the void, dotted with stars. people on planets always say things about how the stars are so bright, so shimmery, like pretty, fluffy daydreams they could reach out and shower themselves in, but jaewon knows better, knows they are nothing but burning mounds of chaotic fire, each one more dangerous than beautiful, and the space between them even more so. “you’re making a ruckus,” he tells his newest crew member somewhere behind him, gold eyes still staring out for a beat longer before turning and pinning themselves on the other male. “are you doing it on purpose? to be funny, or some shit?”
Jaewon and Land had very little in common. On the surface, it was no more than their black boots and even those had vast differences to a point almost no one would consider them the same. Land had a way of ruining any meaning that accompanied whatever reached his grasp. Something like boots being half covered by a pair of sweatpants dismissed to a simple function of being a shoe. It always seemed to him, that Jaewon was the opposite. Everything the man touched carried sentiment or purpose and in some ways, Land envied this. It was a shallow envy, buried deep under thick steel walls that ran for miles under his rib cage. Land made a point not to envy anything. It was useless to want. While Jaewon’s boots stood for power and authority, Land’s were nothing but a last resort, an only option. While Land’s boots barely thudded through worn soles Jaewon’s demanded attention. It’s how Land heard him coming.
The eye contact was short, almost dismissive as Jaewon made his way past Land but something in Land’s bones said he wasn’t going far. If this wasn’t about Land’s inability to make a decent impression then it was only a matter of time.
Unpleasant was an understatement. He knew he was difficult to talk to, unpredictable, uncooperative, rude, dismissive. Sometimes, he wanted it to be understood why but he knew better than to want. It wasn’t worth explaining. He could always change it, try harder but the idea almost made him nauseous. Land rather toss himself from the ship, suffocate in space than give in to anyone again. With Jaewon, he listened because it was his choice. Somehow, the action was justified to himself.
He knew they were coming but the words still caused his jaw to tighten, a twinge threatening to press on his chest and the things that rested beneath the think skin there. For reasons Land refused to understand, it annoyed him most when Jaewon didn’t get it.
It wasn’t his fault, of course, Land never explained, never would, and so how was he to know? Still, because Land refused to ask Jaewon questions, simply just trusted there was always a reason he had expected the same. It wasn’t worth asking for though. As far as Jaewon was concerned, Land probably didn’t deserve it.
Land stared back at Jaewon, his eyes guarded in their own darkness, their steel walls pressing harder to the surface. He didn’t answer for a long moment, his muscles relaxed but unmoving as Land forced any emotion back into its chains.
