Sylvia M. Ione

(INTJ brain X PISCES heart) breakdown → heal, repeat; a cycle without end

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March 16

don't ever feel that you are unworthy you were someone's first love and happiness I'm sure things will get better someday just have faith and be strong

I engraved your name in my notebook those pages are so full of your poems I get emotional whenever I read them back then when I was still someone's angel

by Sylvia M. Ione #81 *All rights reserved. Please do not repost or copy without credit or permissions.*

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No one to follow...

orbiting over me, I am your center loving me from afar, too bad I couldn't feel you I try not to cry anymore, 'cause I have to live carrying myself, I wipe my own tears dark circles are forming under my eyes my face loses light just like how my eyes were

but I'm still good at pretending that I'm okay although my mom had to call my name twice 'cause she heard my voice hoarse from crying yet she still had no idea what I do in my room

I always care so much about others I didn't want anyone to feel left behind but now that I'm the one left behind no one wants to be with me they are all gone, I haven't heard anything from them ever since

I've been hurting in silence all alone still no one knows my mind is my biggest bully I don't think I ever need anyone's hand now what's the point if I'm still the one that has to save myself?

I envy my friend who could live so carefreely although she is as lonely as me she creates her own happiness and laughs at the absurdity of her own jokes she didn't know how much I needed to see that to remind me

that I don't have to take things to heart she knows I'm just too kind, it's almost disappointing yet she told me I shouldn't trail behind anyone this is my life, I should take every chance and prioritize myself more without guilt

now that everyone is gone, I have no one no one owes me, and I certainly am not owed either maybe this time, when I am finally truly alone I can relearn how to start living for myself

no rock is tied to me, both girls I love the most are up there waiting for me to fly and join them they weren't always by my side, but they never leave they set me free and freedom is what I sought

this day is just another day a year from now on, I won't feel this sadness I won't wait for anyone anymore and I am certain that I won't miss you soon

by Sylvia M. Ione #80 *All rights reserved. Please do not repost or copy without credit or permissions.*

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Just say when...

I miss you like a brokenhearted person grieving over something I can only reminisce about when will you come back? 'cause I'm not okay nothing has died, but my feelings soon will

only time will tell, but I do hope it's not what I fear

I miss you, I wish you were here I read our old conversations and I cried a lot, so much it hurts

I was so devastated, alone in my room at 2 a.m. it felt like I really lost you that time the pain in my right chest was unbearable I had to hold it 'cause I couldn't properly breathe as if the air was thick and my lungs were barren

I've never cried this badly in my life why do I care so much about you? I don't know why, but I really need you in my life

I wish you could stop being nice to me but I can't wish for something you're not

just say when—I would show up again even though I woke up with blurry vision I thought that morning was my last day that I hoped you'd miss me a little if I were gone

by Sylvia M. Ione #79 *All rights reserved. Please do not repost or copy without credit or permissions.*

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The prettiest girl I've ever know

The sun is shining so brightly today, she is hiding under the shade, endearingly. Her favorite color stretches vast above her head, the space where birds and planes fly.

The park bench is her old, sole companion, the cold river keeps flowing near her feet, reminding her that bad pieces will be swept away, leaving only the good and steady rocks to stay.

She hates that she couldn’t write anything, her pages blank, her head pretty quiet, but that doesn’t make her any less. I hope she enjoys the fresh air of spring.

She is always so beautiful in my eyes, those little things she is insecure about, I just can’t see what she points at, everything about her is just gorgeous, but that’s simply because she is who she is.

I’d love to be with her till the end of my time, and I’m sorry that I’ll be useless once I die. I pray that she’ll find her true happiness, that she starts to fall in love with being alive.

by Sylvia M. Ione #78 *All rights reserved. Please do not repost or copy without credit or permissions.*

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Dreading...

decided to go for a drive, alone today had to lie just to go out, to avoid questions I wouldn't know how to answer anyway because I'm not good at explaining my mind

just driving around the small town buying stuff and food that doesn’t make me sick I thought this could give me a piece of mind but the situation itself made me anxious instead

the car alarm blared continuously until they announced my plate number receipts that kept slipping out of my hands tried to smile back, but my face forgot to move my hands shaking as I waited to take my items

I sighed as I got into the car to calm myself down I've never been like this on my own before why do I feel so anxious when I’m alone today? I remember I wasn’t like this before

have I really changed now? I know I don’t actually hate people, I just fear them, don’t I? I wonder how I became like this…

by Sylvia M. Ione #77 *All rights reserved. Please do not repost or copy without credit or permissions.*

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