The Ubiquitous Unknown @synthetic-synesthesia - Tumblr Blog

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“EMPLOYEE 197, CUBICLE 4, CARTER J., YOU HAVE BEEN IDLE AT YOUR WORKATATION FOR 37.5 SECONDS” *shunk* “PLEASE RESUME PRODUCTIVITY”

DEPLOY THE BOY

society needs shame. if you dont embarrass weird greasy kids in high school they turn into adults who walk their girlfriends around on dog leashes in the mall

talkupditings

Nothing wrong with that as long as there’s Mutual consent

rubyfruitnb

did you know that bystanders literally do not consent to being a part of public sexual displays

deathfromabove511

You know, people used to make the same argument about interracial couples, same sex couples, etc, etc. That’s why it’s not a crime anymore. These people are not hurting anything but your social normative constructs. Grow the fuck up and let people live their lives.

aquilarios-deactivated20180610

My parents not being allowed to get married and having a family because of their race is not the same as some greasy nerd who doesn’t understand basic societal boundaries, you fucking freak.

grannythots-deactivated20190917

“wanting to bark at my partner in public while wearing a tail butt plug is LITERALLY THE SAME as racism u guys”

femaleshits

curseworm

human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit

monkey brain: absolutely not. die

lemonsharks

Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing

monkey brain: I’m suspicious but keep talking

soulsingerinasessionband

my main goal

soulsingerinasessionband

is to blow up

soulsingerinasessionband

and then act like i don’t know nobody

soulsingerinasessionband

paper-mario-wiki

important

by-grace-of-god

Changing seasons of the much photographed maple tree at Portland’s Japanese Garden

egophiliac

in my head Jake Coolice looks like a grownup version of that kid from the Burger King Kids’ Club and you’ll never convince me otherwise.

thesnadger

Concept: That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (”that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders” etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.

hungrylikethewolfie

Those are the arcane casters. They all sit together, but the wizards think the sorcerers are undisciplined cheaters and the sorcerers think the wizards are pretentious dicks. You don’t wanna get in the middle of that–the last person who tried got polymorphed into a toad. I guess he had a lot of debts he was looking to get out of, though, so he just rolled with it. He’s somebody’s familiar now, I think.

The bards used to sit with them, but they broke off a while ago to do their own thing. Look, I should tell you right now: you’re poetically gonna sleep with at least one of them. It’s happened to most of us, so don’t be embarrassed. If you’re lucky, you might get away with just a ballad to your beauty parodying an 80s rock hit.

The paladins are at the next table over. Religious freaks, but if you’re getting bullied they’ll have your back even if they don’t know you. You, uh…you might end up sleeping with some of them, too. Look, they’re really good listeners, okay? Whatever.

The druids. Don’t even THINK of trying to sit with them unless you’re rocking a negative carbon footprint. Or if you can turn into a bear or a slow loris or something, they love that shit.

The rogues are…they’re around here somewhere.