To The Boy Who Left Me Still In Love: An Open Letter.
I still wish for your messages, I still think about you, I still want us to be what we were supposed to, but I know it can never be, I accepted that, and it hurts a little no more.
After you "friend-zoned" me, I tried my best not to think of you, drop dead and forget my feelings for you, but tears won't keep still in my eyes. I was used to your "Good Morning" texts, and waking up in the morning without it just aches so much that tears flowed on my cheeks down to my pillow.
I salute you, though, for not ignoring me. You tried to reach out for us to be friends again, and I am the one who's continuously avoiding, well, what do you expect I would react after you hurt me?
I don't attach myself to people easily because I believe people come and leave, no one stays. I live with that principle all my life, but I broke that rule, my OWN rule for you, and joke on me, you left.
It's funny how you confessed to me and said you loved me, yet you're the one who broke us apart because you were scared. Scared that it would cause us so much pain if we continue what we've started. Scared because you know our relationship won't last, that's why you ended it before it even began, to lessen the pain, that's what you said. I thought it's up to us to work the relationship out; it's up to us to make it last, but if you believe it that way, then be it, I won't tell nor beg you to stay because if you want me, you'll stay.
Now, we are casual to each other, no more sweet talks, holding hands, hugs, and all the clinginess but I am happy that even though we didn't end up together, we managed to still be friends, yes, the awkwardness is still there, it will go away eventually and when it does, I hope we will be back to what we are before; before the feelings started to grow. I want that friend again. I want you to stay. Even though you left me still in love, I want you to stay, not as a lover but as a friend. I can let go of that boy I fell in love with, but I can't let go of that boy who became my friend.
If you'll stay, can you give this crazy little fragile heart of mine a favor? Can you let me be in love with you? Just let me love you in my silent ways, don't worry, I won't force nor tell you to love me back or even notice me, I just wish to love you one-sidedly. You'll probably ask, 'do I want to torture myself?' My answer is no, it's not torture, it's letting myself be happy by just having you around with the love that can never be.
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