The idea of him noticing me is scary. I can’t explain it other than the fact that I’m scared to be seen by him. The minute I feel him staring I try and avoid his gaze,scared he may see my flaws and my insecurity. It’s weird to say but I feel scared. Maybe it’s butterflies or maybe it’s just genuine fear, but the way my heart stops and my world becomes too quiet to handle makes me feel like he can see me. Not just my daily concealer or my bright box dyed hair but my veins. I feel like his eyes see through my soul and squeezes my heart so hard I can’t remember how to breathe. But when I try to get to the bottom of it he’s just too above me to notice me. At least in the way I feel when he looks at me, it’s scary. His eyes seem empty and frozen in time but when he sneaks small glances at me I feel as though I can see his heart. The way his blank resting face resides and I watch his eyes widen and his shoulders fall make me see him differently. I feel like a stalker, like I’m crazy for feeling watched but everybody notices. So maybe I’m not crazy. But god do I wish I had the confidence to say something. The idea of asking a simple question or saying a small phrase makes my heart sink and crushes me all over again. So yeah he might be too cool for me,too popular, too known, my heart still softens seeing his cute face.
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