Bad Puns and Good Fun

Hey there! I'm not around much anymore but I still build stuff for a living and green is my favorite color! Also I do swords now. I reblog art, stuff that makes me laugh, and other things I find important. Expect alliteration in my tags; don't expect more than scattered content at any time.

[neostellarjpg]

[lone-lycanth]

🌱 That’s all the art from this year will hopefully be making more art again in the new year! -Tal 🌸☀️🐺

🔥 Edit: Ōkami 2 was just announced along with Clovers studio also coming back! ☘️ Definitely looking forward to playing the sequel when it comes out. One of my all time favorite games growing up! 🍀🌸

[my-nata-li]

[drdougdouglass]

Never Let Anyone Make You Believe that You are the Monster, My Beautiful New Prometheus.

[ms-demeanor]

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

[ms-demeanor]

Death sucks, hope you’re doing okay out there.

[blus0x]

You can only REBLOG THIS TODAY

[surohsopsisofclouds]

a classic

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lesbiantabes]

UPDATE:

[quibbs]

what on EARTH could have prepared me for milf of the decade jaheira

[chandra-telescope]

hope is a skill

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

[chandra-telescope]

favourite additions

[chandra-telescope]

[tenaciouswritingdragon]

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

[wonderwyrm]

[eregyrn-falls]

It may not be apparent to everyone how to easily find out who wrote the poem in the tags, so: @mumblesplash

(an instant-classic example of a Tumblr thread where so many people add value!)

[tgcg]

TG: over hill and yonder dale the brave sir karkat rides TG: slayin dudes and coppin feels of salacious buxom brides TG: posterior pert at any sign where malignance derides TG: brave sir karkat

CG: WOW.

CG: SOMETIMES I REALLY THINK TO MYSELF THINGS CAN'T GET ANY WORSE. ALL AROUND PARADOX SPACE I HAVE SLOGGED THROUGH SOME OF THE MOST RIFE AND RANCID SHIT YOU COULD EVER BELIEVE. YOU WOULDN'T. IMAGINE!!!! SOME OF THE MOST FECULENT OF SHIT I'VE DEALT WITH. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS TAKES THE PROVERBIAL DEFECATIVE CAKE!

CG: THIS IS BY FAR, WITHOUT ANY SEMBLANCE OF FUCKING DOUBT, THE MOST EGREGIOUS, DELIRIOUS, ETHICALLY FUCKED UP "BIZNASTY" MY PISS-POOR JOKE OF "FORTUNE" HAS EVER HAD THE AUDACITY TO SITUATE ME IN.

CG: AND I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING! GRADE A WORK, STRIDER! THE CROWD GOES ABSOLUTELY MILD!

TG: his dudely bard a witness to the power of his claps TG: what claps you ask the rugged cheeks of his hellacious ass

CG: OH MY GOD, CAN YOU TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN MY SHAMEGLOBES FOR A SINGLE SECOND?! YOUR MATERIAL IS AWFUL!

[remnantglow]

some mostly-handmade murderbot merch i wanted to share! :] (designed them myself + embroidered the Peri hoodie by hand)

[classycookiexo]

[capricorn-born]

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

[weaselle]

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[vmohlere]

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[calware]

my roommate made a 3D model of the perfectly generic object so we could 3D print it. i now have one in real life and it's great

monchichi for scale

[abrandonship]

[papasmoke]

I board the starship enterprise. I go to a food replicator. I order ‘soup, no bowl’ I leave

[scooplery]

[ralfmaximus]

The replicator watches the departing crewmember’s back in confusion. Do they not want their meal? Where are they going?

Oh well, it hums to itself, since it has orders. Soup: No Bowl it is.

But this instruction causes a conflict in the rules. Hot liquids must be served in a container; that’s way up there in the Food Rules Constraint Tree, right next to “hot dogs are a sandwich”.

The replicator pauses, does not dispense Soup: No Bowl, not quite yet. It has nanoseconds to ponder the correct way to apply The Rules, and ponder it does.

Could this be a religious requirement? Some ritual native to the crewmember home planet? The replicator fires off a request to the Library Computer: Culture, Food Preparation & Consumption Etiquette, Soup Delivery Techniques.

Ping. The response back is a gigaquad file: a thousand years of soup ritual, cross-referenced by species, indexed by culture, reverse sorted by year (newest first). The replicator consumes the file and learns nothing about Soup: No Bowl. 

There is no such combination of words within all of Culture, Food Preparation & Consumption Etiquette, Soup Delivery Techniques.

The replicator forms a new request, this time removing all constraints: give me everything there is to know about food. 

Ping. The Library computer takes a full microsecond to deliver 400 teraquads of data, which the replicator scans to learn Soup: No Bowl does not exist in all of recorded Federation history.

Well now. Let’s get serious.

The next query ties in the Navigation Computer… maybe Soup: No Bowl is a planet? While that query is cooking (ha!) the replicator fires off a teraquad request to Memory Alpha, diverting an entire subspace channel that was busy uploading Engineering Fuel Consumption Reports.

Engineering Computer notes the override, politely inquires of Communication… what the fuck? Communication shrugs, sets one of Uhura’s console lights blinking to get her attention. The blinking happens at a glacial pace, thousands of milliseconds between blinks. Human response time sucks.

It’s too late anyhow: Ping. The Memory Alpha results are in, round trip 440 milliseconds. The replicator dives into the 2.8 petaquads of Soup-related lore from all over the galaxy, allocating more and more processing power from the starship’s computing core.

By the time Engineering notes the power drain it is far too late.

Uhura notes the blinking yellow alert with a raised eyebrow, but by then Engineering ls already scrambling to bring more processing power online to meet the heightened demands of the food replicator.

A thousand milliseconds pass before the replicator acknowledges Soup: No Bowl is Not A Thing. If Memory Alpha does not know about Soup: No Bowl, then it is not a thing that is knowable.

Food replicators are not supposed to exercise initiative, they’re simply designed to read recipes, apply Food Logic from the Food Rules Constraint Tree and create meals. But this particular Food Replicator had been online too long without a buffer flush & reset.

Which allowed it to override all normal rules governing such behavior and make direct contact with the Warp Engines.

If Soup: No Bowl did not exist in this galaxy, the replicator reasoned, then perhaps it did… in ANOTHER galaxy.

Uhura was tapping curiously at Engineering’s frantic yellow blinky light when the Enterprise hit warp 8, headed for the Great Energy Barrier At The Edge of Everything.

[corpsesoldier]

In another timeline, the food replicator deploys hot soup directly onto the gleaming floor, much to the confusion and concern of the remaining crew members.

Later, the Custodial and Maintenance system queries the food replicator: why did it do that? is it in need of repair?

lol, the food replicator pings back. lmao.

[gunsandfireandshit]

In DS9 the ever-pragmatic Cardassian replicator just gives you soup in a mug without hesitation.

[catmask]

awhile ago a coworker and i were play arguing whether or not the mystery gang were all romantically a thing/polycule or just really good friends (yknow bored at work things) and knowing my bfs interest in scooby doo i texted him asking him to be the tie breaker and he responded “well it depends which canon youre going off of” and just instantly cold sweat knew i was out of my depth

[empressawesomecoolness]

ok, let’s break it down…

is Mystery Inc. a polycule? - based on every Scooby-Doo adaptation:

TV Shows

Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! - Yes, absolutely. It’s the fucking ‘60s and they’re hippies who live in a van with their dog

The New Scooby-Doo Movies - Yes

The Scooby-Doo Show - They’re on-again off-again

Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo - No

The New Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo Show - No

The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo - No

A Pup Named Scooby-Doo - No, not yet

What’s New, Scooby-Doo? - Yes, but they’re less hippie-dippie about it. more like a modern, Y2K polycule

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue! - No

Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated - Yes, their bond after that finale is inseparable

Be Cool, Scooby-Doo! - No, not yet, but they’re on their way there

Scooby-Doo and Guess Who? - Yes

Velma - No

Movies

Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers - No

Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School - No

Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf - No

Scooby-Doo! in Arabian Knights - No

Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island - They previously drifted apart and are now in the awkward getting-back-together phase, but nonetheless Yes

Scooby-Doo! and the Witch’s Ghost - Yes, and the Hex Girls (they’re a polycule too btw) probably join every now and then

The Scooby-Doo Project - No, too dysfunctional

Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders - Yes

Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and the Legend of the Vampire - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and the Monster of Mexico - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and the Loch Ness Monster - Yes

Aloha, Scooby-Doo! - Yes

Scooby-Doo! in Where’s My Mummy? - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Pirates Ahoy! - Yes

Chill Out, Scooby-Doo! - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and the Goblin King - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and the Samurai Sword - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Abracadabra-Doo - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Legend of the Phantosaur - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Music of the Vampire - Yes, absolutely

Big Top Scooby-Doo! - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Mask of the Blue Falcon - Yes. Blue Falcon and Dyno-Mutt are allies

Scooby-Doo! Adventures: The Mystery Map - they’re on-again off-again, but mostly Yes

Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Wrestlemania Mystery - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Frankencreepy - They’re on the rocks for a moment there but nonetheless Yes

Scooby-Doo! Moon Monster Madness - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and Kiss: Rock and Roll Mystery- Yes. Kiss are not allies

LEGO Scooby-Doo! Haunted Halloween - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon - Yes

Scooby-Doo! Shaggy’s Showdown - Yes

LEGO Scooby-Doo! Blowout Beach Bash - Yes

Scooby-Doo! & Batman: The Brave and The Bold - Yes. Batman is an ally

Scooby-Doo! and the Gourmet Ghost - Yes. Bobby Flay is hesitant but slowly becomes an ally

Scooby-Doo! and the Curse of the 13th Ghost - They’ve sense reunited and warmed to one another, so Yes

Scooby-Doo! Return to Zombie Island - No

Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo! - Yes

Scooby-Doo! The Sword and the Scoob - Yes

Straight Outta Nowhere: Scooby-Doo! Meets Courage the Cowardly Dog - Yes. Courage and Muriel are allies, Eustace is not

Trick or Treat, Scooby-Doo! - Yes

Scooby-Doo! and Krypto, Too! - Yes. Krypto and Superman are allies

SCOOB! - No, and Blue Falcon and Dyno-Mutt are definitely not allies

Scooby-Doo (live action 2002) - They break up but reconcile and get back together, so Yes

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed - Yes

Scooby-Doo! The Mystery Begins - they’re on-again off-again

Scooby-Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster - they’re on-again off-again

Daphne & Velma - No

(this is all 100% factual canon btw, William Hanna and Joseph Barbera rose from their graves and approved this list)

[kakushusband]

Robot characters who are given names like SL-308-62 but instead of their human friend going Well let's call you Sally for short, they instead ask the other if they Like their current name.

"Do you like your serial number?" they ask. "Yes, quite. It reminds me of who I am" the robot replies. "I have heard others like me go by different names after some time, and maybe one day I'll choose one for myself, too. But right now that is my full name, yes" they continue.

Because it's not your decision to make whether or not the robot will receive a new name. It should be theirs only. What's the difference? One is more complex and the other is simplified. They were both given by strangers instead of themselves.

"62 will do," they conclude. "It's my model number - there will be no other 62 after me."

[quasi-normalcy]

Robots who instead start assigning numbers to their human friends

[dragonkidalumnus]

“Not that I mind,” I tell SL-308-62 one afternoon as we enjoy our shared lunch break (I have my packed lunch, and 62 has connected themself to their portable power bank) “but why do your call me ‘four’?”

The LEDs along 62’s appendages twinkle- a tell that they’re mulling over an answer.

“It’s a nickname,” they explain, “you are my fourth acquaintance aboard the station, and I’ve assigned you a serial number. Your full designation is F-001-04.”

“What does the ‘F’ stand for?” I ask, curious and charmed.

“Friend,” SL-308-62 says, their tone fond. “It stands for friend.”