I’ve been thinking for a while about how to say this properly, but I think I’ll be drawing a line under my HL era around September.
Right now, I’m working on a long comic for an offline event in Tokyo this September, and I want that project to be my final big HL work for the time being.
I don’t hate HL at all — honestly, I think I’ll always have a soft spot for it. Before HL, I hadn’t seriously drawn in nearly 10 years, and it was the thing that made me pick up a pen again. Because of this fandom, I started digital art, challenged myself to draw comics, made merch for the first time, and met people I never would have otherwise. No matter where I go creatively from here, those experiences will always mean a lot to me.
At the same time, I think I slowly lost confidence in myself during my time in the fandom. I put a lot of pressure on myself when it came to art, improvement, and engagement, and somewhere along the way I stopped being able to enjoy drawing as freely as I used to.
I also came across posts saying things along the lines of
“Since you’re in a position that benefits from the algorithm, not growing is simply a lack of effort.” (Although it wasn’t expressed so directly, I think it could easily come across as hurtful to people who were in a similar position to me and struggling in the same way.)
Normally, I think I would have been able to brush it off, but I was already struggling so much with my art at the time that I was even on the verge of tears on the train. Because of that, those words hurt me deeply.
I think I started to feel like my work had no value at all, and from that point on, I lost the confidence to post my HL art.
A few months ago, I quietly started drawing in another fandom at my own pace, mostly to regain some confidence in myself and my art. But somehow… I ended up completely falling in love with him😂❤️ The more I draw him, the more inspired I feel, and for the first time in a long while, I genuinely feel excited to draw again.
I think I’ve finally remembered what it feels like to enjoy creating without overthinking everything.
And honestly, as sad as it is to admit, I think my art style simply fits this new fandom much more naturally than HL ever did.
So if I’m being very honest, this is probably less of a dramatic farewell and more just… a normal fandom move 😂
That said, I don’t think I’ll disappear completely from HL. These days, I feel more interested in making cute Aurellia merch than drawing ship content, so I may still pop back occasionally to share little projects or goods I make for her.
And finally — thank you so much to everyone who supported me and looked at my work, from my very rough early art all the way to where I am now 💘
Honestly, my old drawings are terrible and part of me wants to delete them all 😂 But I think I’ll leave them up as a reminder to myself of how much practice and consistency mattered, and how important it is not to stop drawing.
