can't wake up

Daniel. Genderqueer Ace {he/they} as seen on instagram, in your trash bin or in an alternative reality

[1000125]

sometimes i just sit and think about ways a genie can grant wishes.

[mysharona1987]

[suprizeitsme]

*dies* 

[tastefullyoffensive]

[cipher-is-my-waifu]

[purplechocolatekisses]

Help Everyone Find A Job In Their Field

[dossantos23]

this was very helpful

[midnight-sun-rising]

This wasn’t a coincidence that I saw this today.

[jellies-moved-deactivated202006]

OH I FORGOT. I SAW THE GREATEST CAR IN THE WORLD WHEN I WAS COMING BACK FROM THE JOB INTERVIEW I DID TODAY

[jellies-moved-deactivated202006]

[jellies-moved-deactivated202006]

I got the job I had interviewed for in this post and they started me at $13/hr and a guaranteed 20 hours a week thanks everyone for their support in the notes abt the job interview itself and no thanks to the people who said it was cursed

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

Reblog the X3 HEWWO car of career success. Reblog for a decent job

[moonlight-and-mantles]

Rebwog the X3 HEWWO car of caweew success. Rebwog fow a decent job. owo

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

how dawe you up stage mwe like this owo

[soulsingerinasessionband]

my main goal

[soulsingerinasessionband]

is to blow up

[soulsingerinasessionband]

and then act like i don’t know nobody

[soulsingerinasessionband]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Don’t underestimate how badly I want to be around to name the next supercontinent

[lackadaisycats]

A 20th century revue, as performed by Ivy Pepper.   The intended horizontal format is here. It’s got some flow that way. Reformatting for tumblr turned out to be a bit awkward. If anyone’s interested, I’ll add some notes to this post about the dances, art styles and fashions depicted here.  (The 60s are doubled up because they changed so much from one end to the other and I couldn’t decide what to focus on.) —————————— Lackadaisy is on Patreon - there’s extra stuff!

[renstability-deactivated2016031]

PSA to all now that is is Pumpkin Spice Season

From someone who worked at starbucks. If you have a milk/dairy allergy AT ALL. DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT. Drink Pumpkin Spice.

It contains dairy IN the syrup that is used to make the drink. Even if you get it made with soy, you will still be getting doses of dairy in there. 

Depending on the severity and intolerance it can and will cause reactions. I found that as a barista I was constantly warning people about the dairy in the product. No one ever seemed to tell them that there was dairy in the mix. More times than I can count I heard people realize that’s why they kept having reactions, or that’s why it made them sick.

People legitimately do not know that pumpkin spice no matter what you do will always contain some amount of dairy.

Why do people never want to tell you their middle name like who gives a shit its not a nuclear launch code its your damn name

[fireworksdraco]

reblog with your middle name in the tags

[chromium-phoenix]

Actually, the practice dates back to the reason we have middle names in the first place!

Some time around the dark ages, everyone believed in witchcraft and wizardry, like ya do. A big principle of magic was the idea of “true names.” If a spellcaster knew your full name, they could do whatever the hell they wanted to you. Of course, people didn’t want that, but there were enough people with the same first names that you had to give people your surname as well, to avoid confusion.

The solution? A secret name in the middle that you don’t tell anyone (unless you believe that they’re not able to do magic and/or you trust them enough that if they DID do magic, you’d be fine).

[horticulturalcephalopod]

this is some death note shit

[wenamedthedogkylo]

Is that why when a parent uses your full name (or even just first and middle name) when they’re angry with you, it feels like they just cast some serious mojo on your soul and you know you are in deep shit?

[awildpaige]

OP is a fae in disguise do not tell them your middle name

[writing-prompt-s]

It’s the zombie apocalypse and everyone is dying. However, you are miraculously given an ability that makes zombies ignore your presence. Write about your day to day life living in close proximity with the dead.

[xxxcoolguyxxx]

*two zombies fighting in a diner*

*me, raising my voice and my hand* Can I please get a waffle?

CaN I plEAsE geT a WafFFLe?

[thatguysafethis]

*horde of zombies walking past me*

Are you gonna eat me… are you gonna let me live alone and suffer from the slow and painful pain of insanity…

JuSt EaT mE nOw AnD lEt Me dIe

[proxykitkat-deactivated20181007]

Imagine somebody so introverted/antisocial they don’t even notice…/

*walks through the supermarket and goes to the self checkout to avoid having to interact*

*starts beeping items*

*machine gives me an error- unexpected item in the bagging area*

*picks up the severed hand and hands it to the zombie at the next  register over* I think this is yours.

*pays and leaves, avoiding eye contact, then drives home*

3 years later: wait a second.

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

Me

[the-pundertaker-deactivated2020]

[gothcostco]

the plot chickens

[gothcostco]

why do 70,000 people have as bad of a sense of humor as me

[weedle-testaburger]

[deathnotereblogs]

I was skimming through fanfics and found this gem.

[fluffgawd]

Pls teach your son how to apologize.

[sadburgerboogie]

If you forgot, the 3 parts to an apology are

1. Saying sorry for the initial hurt you’ve committed.

2. Explaining how you’ve understood how you hurt them.

3. Promising them that you won’t do it again.

[cutiesncantrips]

4. Keep the fucking promise.