I'm not going home.

Dirk / 16 / I'm not even sure where I am anymore.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Shit.

I forgot tumblr existed.

[theatricalgladiator]

D swallowed when he saw Dirk strip - he really wasn’t ready to see his little brother naked, and somehow every inch a man at sixteen. He bit his lip, stripping off his tshirt so he didn’t get shaving cream on it. Besides, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do his chest. Would Bro be into something like that? He was his only regular partner right now; besides the ubiquitous Rose who’d make fun of him either way.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Dirk took his time in the shower, enjoying the hot water after a week of none. He scrubbed himself thoroughly, relishing finally being clean, and washed his hair at least twice before shutting the water off and peeking out from behind the shower curtain. Now that the hot water had woken him up a bit, he was feeling more self-conscious about being naked in front of his brother.

[tempestprince]

taciturntroublemaker replied to your post: what’s going on guys?&nbs…

Not much. I think everyone on my dash has gone to sleep. Sup with you?

i just woke up from my post-class nap. music classes are really tiring, you wouldn’t believe it. though i’m pretty wide awake now, so if you want some company i’m here.

[taciturntroublemaker]

I haven't really taken many music classes, so I wouldn't know.

I don't know, I might go to bed soon. It's almost two in the morning here and I'm getting sleepy.

[theatricalgladiator]

"… look, I just don’t want you to feel like I don’t give a shit." He hesitated, then pressed his lips to Dirk’s forehead. "C’mon. You need some sleep. Wanna wash first? M’sure your hair is really bugging you. I need a shave, so I can keep you company."

[taciturntroublemaker]

"Yeah, thanks," Dirk murmured sleepily. Despite his reluctance, he pried himself out of D's arms and shuffled over towards the bathroom. Dirk was tired enough not to care whether or not D was still watching as he pulled his clothes off and flung them vaguely in a pile before turning the shower on and stepping in, yanking the curtain shut behind him.

[taciturntroublemaker]

callthecatamite started following you

Evenin'.

[remembrancy]

A pleasure to meet you as well, Dirk.

I’m just enjoying the night with a drink. It;s turning out to be a good one.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Sounds nice.

[lubefilledcupcakes-deactivated2]

wwoww you can fuckin read

good i wwant you to suffer you orange creamsicle asshole

[taciturntroublemaker]

Yeah, y'know, I actually passed kindergarten. Ain't that a shocker.

Right ray of sunshine there, aren't you? That tacky hipster scarf must be shutting off your ability to not be a total fuckin' douchewaffle to everyone you meet.

[remembrancy]

Don’t give up before you’ve even gotten results. My name is Rose, what is yours?

[taciturntroublemaker]

It's Dirk. It's nice to meet you, Rose.

Sup?

[theatricalgladiator]

D snorted. “I’m not cool. Half the time I’m a fuckin mess. More than half, even. And trust me, you’re not holding me back. The main reason I was happy when I started selling scripts was because I didn’t have to take my clothes off to feed you any more.” He couldn’t remember Dirk ever talking this much, and started to rub his back soothingly. “You can just shut the fuck up about that. I gotta leave sometimes; trust me, I would stay home if I could. We could do that fuckin facetime shit or somethin.”

[taciturntroublemaker]

Dirk let out a quiet sigh and relaxed into D's hand. "I know you have to leave sometimes. I'm okay with that, honest." Although he did dislike it when D left, he didn't want to say that, because it would seem clingy and cause D even more guilt about having shit to do other than sit around the apartment all day like Dirk did. "Facetime or Skype or something, yeah. Or I could try to get better at talking on the phone. Or both. Or something." He yawned again, his eyes drooping shut.

[taciturntroublemaker]

I'm making another greeting post in the (probably vain) hope that one of you will actually respond to it.

[lubefilledcupcakes-deactivated2]

taciturntroublemaker started following you

wwho are you supposed to be

[taciturntroublemaker]

Dirk Strider.

And you'd be Eridan Ampora, according to your blog title.

Your theme is pretty fuckin' difficult to read, by the way. All dark and shit.

[theatricalgladiator]

D wrapped his arms tightly around Dirk - instinct told him to do it, and he tried not to question. “… I do love you, kid. When you were little I guess I knew how to show it better. I could sing you lullabies and kiss your bruises and other shit that seemed pretty easy. You… started turning into a man real fast and doing that stuff was weird. For both of us I guess,” D said awkwardly. “You didn’t seem too into it any more either. I’d call you on the phone when I was out of town and you never wanted to talk. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do, and it started making me so nervous I gave up.” He swallowed, throat dry. He ad to focus on being honest, like Rose had told him.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Dirk wrapped his arms around D's waist as best he could. "I'm sorry." He paused, putting his words in order. "Just…I hate talking on the phone, and this is gonna sound hells of selfish, but it just…wasn't the same? As you being here, I mean. And…I always missed you, but I never wanted to say it or show it because I kept trying to be as cool as you were, and I thought that talking to you for too long on the phone would be clingy or weird or uncool and you don't need your kid brother trailing after you as you rise through the Hollywood ranks like a spaceship through Earth's atmosphere, that'd be like three hundred extra pounds of baggage on your spaceship and you'd need more fuel than would be practical and you'd never get off the ground, and I guess what I'm trying to say is I like it when you act like you care about me and I just always…pretended I never cared because caring wasn't cool and I wanted to be as cool as you even if it was impossible, and I didn't realize that being cool and being affectionate were mutually exclusive and that that was a bad thing, and. I don't know." Dirk stopped talking, painfully aware of the amount of words that had just come pouring out of his mouth, and clung a little tighter to D.

[theatricalgladiator]

"Haven’t we got shit to talk about kiddo?" D muttered back, pausing before sliding an arm around him. He rubbed his side awkwardly, trying his hardest to figure out how the hell he was supposed to interact with this kid now that he was a teenager. "Just… be fucking honest with me okay? I don’t want you to hate me."

[taciturntroublemaker]

"I don't hate you," Dirk said. He hesitated, not really sure how much he wanted to say, how much of his guts he wanted to spill. "I…I was actually thinking it was kind of the opposite problem. If that makes any kind of sense. I…I thought I loved you more than you loved me. You always seemed so distant, and you were always busy with your movie stuff. I know it's a time-consuming business, and I understand that that means you might not have time for anything else, and I know I haven't been helping with that what with hiding in my room most of the time like the antisocial loser I am, and I don't know how to fix that. Just…I don't hate you, okay? You're my brother and I love you." He tucked his head into D's chest, embarrassed about how much he'd babbled.

[theatricalgladiator]

"If you wanna eat there’s stuff in the fridge." Had Dirk actually just asked him to cuddle? He probably hadn’t asked that since he was four or five. He sat down slowly on the couch, like an old man. Both of his knees popped, and he sighed heavily. "Dunno how fantastic I’m gonna be at sleeping, I’ll be honest."

[taciturntroublemaker]

"I'll eat tomorrow," Dirk mumbled, leaning over until he was pressed against D's shoulder. "Or later today. Sometime when I'm fewer mad hells of tired." He'd slept in the car, but the lingering exhaustion sapped his motivation to stand up and find food or shower. (He really needed a shower. Ugh.) "Right now, we both need to sleep," Dirk managed through a yawn.

[theatricalgladiator]

He tried not to be embarrassed about the fact he was carrying Dirk. Well, at least he didn’t seem too offended about it. “I know.” The elevator dinged. “… and you need something to eat.” He bumped the hand holding his key card against the pad, awkwardly managing to depress the door handle with his elbow and push in. His arms were shaking a little from the strain of carrying Dirk so far by the time he set him down on the couch - the coffee wasn’t helping either.

The sun was rising outside the window, and D was mentally and emotionally exhausted; moreso even than after pulling 36 hours for a night-as-day shoot. However, he was at least physically awake.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Dirk curled up against the arm of the couch, covering another yawn with his hand, and blinked at D owlishly. "Yeah. You mentioned something about pizza?" But he hadn't seen D pick up a pizza box on their way up the stairs, so it was probably still in the car. Getting it would mean another trip up and down the building and both of them were exhausted. That really didn't sound like something Dirk wanted to do, and he'd already put D through enough trouble. Dirk didn't need to be asking D to do any more walking or any more work, really.

"It's okay, though," Dirk added hastily. "You don't need to go get it. It'll probably still be there in a few hours, once you've slept for real." He glanced up at D, then away, and mumbled something unintelligible that may or may not have sounded vaguely like "Come cuddle me?"

[theatricalgladiator]

D got out, shutting his door and going around to Dirk’s side. He’d seen him stir a little, but wasn’t honestly all that sure if he was awake at all. The kid should still be pretty light, even if it’d been a while since he’d picked him up. He wouldn’t have to bring him very far. 

Sliding an arm under his little brother’s knee, unbuckling his seatbelt with the other hand.  He paused, kind of overwhelmed that Dirk was actually here and safe - never mind that he couldn’t remember the last time they’d been this close. Still thinking him asleep, he pressed a kiss to Dirk’s crown before he could think about it.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either, Dirk curled into D's arms, yawning. At the kiss, his eyes widened; D hadn't really shown him affection since he was much, much younger. Although he hadn't said anything, Dirk had missed it—the casual hugs, the fistbumps when either of them had done something cool, the hair-ruffles, every little tip-off that D acknowledged his existence and cared about him.

It was kind of silly being carried around like a child, but Dirk didn't want D to put him down quite yet. It was nice, being held and reassured that everything was okay now, even if there was the nagging reminder in the back of his mind that he and D had things to discuss.

"D, we have to talk about this shit," Dirk mumbled into D's chest.

[theatricalgladiator]

D noticed him drifting off, and as much as guilt was eating him alive and he fucking needed to do something about it, he knew he should let the kid get some rest. He debated with himself for a good five minutes about whether or not he should, but in the end he hesitantly reached over and stroked Dirk’s dirty hair back. As an afterthought, he hooked the pointy glasses off of his face so they wouldn’t dig into him while he was sleeping.

[taciturntroublemaker]

Dirk drifted in and out of sleep, barely conscious of Dean's hand on his hair and shades. He knew he should feel bad about just falling asleep when they had shit to discuss, but he was also pretty sure he'd be completely useless at any kind of rational discussion without some kind of rest.

As Dean pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex, Dirk blinked awake, shaking his head a little to clear it. He glanced nervously at Dean, sitting up straighter in his seat then changing his mind and slouching back down.