I feel like I don’t recognize her anymore. My oldest has been spending a lot of time at her dad’s, which, of course, hurts my feelings but I don’t mention it. The thing is when she’s home, she is so…mean. She does the thing where she’s talking shit but then says she’s joking if you say something about it. It’s to the point where I feel like the whole time I’m around her I’m just trying to keep my thoughts to myself and not get upset.
What worries me the most is that sometimes I feel like I’m arguing with her dad or holding my tongue like I had to with him. It’s the worst thought I could have but it’s true.
I just feel so helpless because what can I do? I feel like I just have to wait it out and see how many years from now she will come back to me and say she understands. I know I’ll never get an apology from her because she’s never been able to give me or her siblings an apology. I’m almost relieved that she’s going to college soon and she’ll be away from her dad’s influence.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually the problem and don’t see it?
