Icanunderstand (demo)
because y’all know all my secrets.
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Icanunderstand (demo)
because y’all know all my secrets.
I’m in that ‘’I ain’t shit mood”. I didn’t have this went I was in the forest. Social media anxiety is mad real. I always feel like, I’m not posting enough content. I’m not like the other DJs in my network. I should be changing hair & new outfit every weekend. I don’t even get laid, I’m travelling all the time.
TOUR BLUES.
Never felt as lonely as I feel right now and in the past 2 years. It’s like everybody that I know forgot about me or speak to me as if I’m still the same from 2012 and I’m tired of this shit. Makes me don’t wanna go back home. Actually, I don’t wanna go anywhere ... often, I want to quit but, I can’t. I’m the ‘’one with the smile that everybody falls for’’. I mean, I might be an has been by now. I feel like I am because I don’t want to conform to these social media games, I don’t play the same shit as people do. I should be praised at least a bit - I’m still a Slytherin. I don’t want to produce music because I’m absolutely scared of ALL of it. I see other musician friend suffering and I don’t want to talk too much about what’s really in my heart. I didn’t even write in this Tumblr for that matter. I don’t want shit, I just want THIS and the forest and a cute & interesting life partner.
I’ve been trying to move to Amsterdam for now 1 month and a half and I’m emotionally exhausted. In between that, I’ve been attacked after a gig in Ghent. I corrected this dumbass for saying ‘’nigga’’ in my face. I was pretty arrogant but calm and then it went crazy to a point that his friend told me I was racist for telling a white person not to say the N-Word. Then, I couldn’t take my cool and I fought back physically. I felt all the violent aggression I’ve been receiving since I’ve set foot in Europe. I don’t know why I want to stay. I ain’t gon’ save nobody. I ain’t gonna change shit. This place is a racist place. I’ve never seen anything like that. They can’t talk about race without yelling. White people are don’t even want to say ‘’Arab’’ or ‘’Black’’ ‘cause it’s a ‘’bad word’’. You can imagine that if my race is a ‘’bad word’’ then there’s a problem. I’m so tired of this shit. People were scared of talking about it to change it. Can’t talk about race without being an angry black person or someone with problems with their identity.
Couldn't be more savage. Making him listen to "Prototype" by Outkast. It was the Full Moon and I couldn't care less/more.
First time I saw him was in Saõ Paulo. First eyes layed on you. I was hooked. "You remind me of someone I've met before" like Gonjasufi would've said in his Duet song.
Falling deeper in the ground. He looked like a sexier version of Toquinho and he's as a good musician has he is.
Charmed me, made me go deep in my feelings. I've even let the spirits decide. Let time pass by a bit longer. Full Moon came the next day we saw each other.
Pegaçaõ season as turned me into a mantis waiting for her meal for creation. It's like eating too much chocolate pudding and asking for an extra carott cake. Just to look healthy in my glotonery.
Muy Rico. Muy Rico. Nossa, meu bem. o-o-o, meu bem.
Eu sonho de teu beijo qui a duré le temps d'une chanson pop bien poignante. C'était doux, réel et mauve brillant, purpurinha do Carnaval. Tes mouvement de Samba sur moi. La Catuaba me rendait ivre pour la saison mais, te demander de m'embrasser dans la langue de Caetano et celle de Laferrière était la concrétisation de ma chasse aux musiciens dorés. La mante m'a dit d'y accrocher fort, no shame. Le repas de la création. Mon tapioca e coco, mon bomba energitica, mon açaí, ma papaya com limaõ l'après-midi.
me being who I am.
a sci-fi geek.
I was extra bored this Summer. I didn’t even get laid. It was very boring. I was also renting my appartement in between my out of town gigs - Oh, yes guys. I’m a touring DJ who don’t fuck. Then, I got my first Black guest and he was the hottest ever. He was always in his boxer in the appartement and I didn’t say anything because, it was a work of art. He was working for Barbie doll’s marketing team. I taught it was pretty interesting. BUT still, he sold me the idea of me buying a DNA test with 23andMe.
At first, I was supposed to do the DNA test with my mom and open it on my first trip to Haiti. BUT, I’m an asshole, I didn’t wait for her and did it on my own. It’s the cheap and not so detailed one anyway.
First, there’s my forever story of when I travel and people think I lie when I say that I’m Canadian. Then, there’s people assuming I’m from Africa (I do but, I don’t know from where) and this always gets people confused that I answer ‘’yes, I’m African but I don’t know from where and I didn’t get adopted’’ Most European forgot what they did to us. I’m the product of a strong DNA that wasn’t drawn in water or died of European diseases. I’m my ancestors wildest dream. Taking the test was a reason for me to retrace the history of Haiti through my DNA. God knows, it’s the craziest history of the Modern world. That’s when that fuccboi Napoleon was defeated by my ancestors. When, I was ‘’my ancestor’’ I’m really talking about people who share same DNA as I do. On my Maternal Grandmother’s side, they keep a sword that’s been in the family since the Haitian Revolution of 1804. My mom saw it, touched it and as tried for many years to bring it back to Canada but, it never worked because it used to be a deadly weapon.
Now, the major issue of doing this DNA test is very Black Mirror-esque. I knew I was giving away my data to Google but, why did I still did it ? Maybe I’ve watched The Matrix too many times. We’re all already giving away our data in live format to major compagnies like Google, Facebook etc. They know what we do and when, where and with who we do it. They already know how we buy, what product we’d like to see in the market and how they will sell it to us.
Then, one thing for me was sure: Aïsha Vertus wasn’t THE target but, what I represent certainly is. Black Americans have no other ways then tracing there DNA to get to know their family history. If I trace both of my family names, I’ll end up with the genealogy of a punch of White Colonizer in Europe. Which could have maybe links to my own DNA. Prob one of the Masters rapped my great-great-great-(...)-great grandmother and that was very often. Don’t you think that there was a lot some Pocahontas / John Smith stories back then so we’d have cute mixed kids.
So, they take your DNA they can also trace which disease and more accurate for you to have and pharma compagny bought out 300 million $USD to many of these Ancestry company. Selling everyday products to selling you pharmaceuticals and even prevent you to get a good insurance compagny.
I still need to do reseaches but, I think I’m being protect from all that as a Canada living in Europe or even as a Canadian but not really if I was American.
SO YEAH IT’S MESSED UP.
Oh well guys.
I’m cursed but, my DJ career seems good.
I’m riding 1st class PARIS - BRUSSELS
After all these sacrifices. All these years working for free and being taking for a cleaning lady for these Mad Men. Finally getting there with a mediocre salary. They gave me big responsabilities, my boss presented me as an intern -baby. Now, I left it all to get back to point ‘’Z’’. Found a dream job and they ghosting me.
SYSTEM GET MAMAN’W
LISTEN HERE - https://bit.ly/2LYLWrk
I’m coming in the fonction with a new mix serie. WITCHES BREW with be dead until I want this vibe back. Now, it’s the ‘’SYSTEM GET MAMAN’W’’ that is currently in place. I’m installing a dictatorship system of my own body and soul.
Should’ve known better. Praying mantis Pa gem bay menti
''Colon Get Maman'w'' is a bad word in creole saying ''Colonizer raped your mother''. Having a Lady Makoute in the picture can be triggering for a lot of Haitians as well. Tonton Makoute used to be the military police under Duvalier Dynasty. My maternal Grand-Father had to leave Haiti because they were threatening him to death. That's why were Canadian since 50 years. At this point, colonizers had many faces. So, yeah FUCK THEM !
Définitivement pas des histoires de moldus là.
TRACKLIST
The Rain (Benedikt Frey Tribiute) - Missy Elliott DeathMurdaMayhemDestruction (prod. Apoc Krysis) - MC Holocaust Hot & Loud ft. Joose (prod. The SEVENth) Alien Signals (feat. YUNG MORPHEUS) - psychedelic ensemble REST IN PIECES (feat. YAMA & SATO) - jeibandit Past Ain’t Enough - satchy Cool 2 b a cat - Bubblerap Breathe feat. Merlyn wood - reverse OPEN WIDE (feat. Ishmael Raps) - Spencer League feat. AJ Tracey - caius a.w Chessmaster feat. Kent Loon - Chester Watson See You, Sometime After Dark - Eun vs Pierre Falardeau Sphinx Gate (feat. Jaé) Hiatus Kaiyote HOT CHEETOS - Mononeon naked - nate b. The Storm - Alton Miller The Room Below - On the Rhodes (Don't Be Afraid) Expect Nothing - IYHNF Hero - Horatio Luna I could give you the world to you Digits Move On - Moomin TA QUE TA - MTG MEGA DAS PUTAS - DJ ZULLU
mixed & selected by gayance
Witch
He smelled liked Montreal. He smelled like my old habits.
We’re here again. L’inexplicable.
That moment when we. When oui.
Raw energy
but he was known territory
Montreal
home
mom
my island
(my island) my purgatory
.
.
He smelled like my weakness
Thousand reasons why I still come
back
AYOYE.
Tried to find my Afro-Brazilian fam in my Angolese-Portuguese fam. All I got was more violent then post-colonialism. It was us, wanting to decolonialize institutions. En tout cas, ça l’a même pas rapport avec la suite mais, c’est mon main feel en ce moment. J’suis sur un endless ‘’koupé têt boulé kay’’.
How come I always have to be in shitty ass relationship. Well, I don’t even want to blame the guys, I feel 100% responsable for all this mess. Not, that I’m a mess (oh, hell yeah !) but, it’s just crazy to still be in the same patterns even though I’m aware of them since 4 years+. Ya ya ya, things take time BUT, NO NIKKA ! IT’S SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO FUCKIN’ END. I’ll even wait till’ I get back to Canada, get a Black therapist and fix my ass. I don’t even know who I love or what type or relationship I need/want. I’m taking a break and not ‘cause I’m broken. I’ll prob make more money doing that. That’s what happened last year but, then I was so focus on my work that I forgot to eat, sleep and self-care. So, there’s a problem.
Either, I’m some mommy figure / savior for a dummy. They hold tight on me to heal themself from deep childhood issues. Once, I was the other woman. I was a shame for him but, I was his light and his way to escape from his boring reality. The worst was being trapped in this ‘’Muse’’ shit. It’s so fucking toxic. He takes every single of your ideas and makes his career out of it. Then, leaves with a white girl. Happened twice actually (laugh) ! Qu’éssé j’peux faire d’autres que rire d’ma propre gueule, t’sais ?
Anyway, chu fatiguée en criss but, I’m the only one to be blamed for my own situation. Au final, j’ai besoin de chialé pour mieux m’comprendre. Après, on verra.
Ça part toujours en couille though.
And you wanna know what’s the worst part ? I’m such a dumb hopeless romantic. I’m drowning myself in this memories that lasted for a few hours, a few days. It’s nothing. Nothing happened really. I was in a ‘’travelling fairy tale’’ set up. I probably don’t love none of them. I’m probably a fraud. I don’t feel empty but, I don’t feel the pain anymore (Sors les violons, c’est ton cue ti-Jean).
AYOYE, Gerry Goulet style.
BEST ALBUMS OF 2017
Took me awhile, wasn’t really stressing about sharing this. At the end of the day, what makes a nice project it’s the timelessness. It’s 2018 since 2 weeks now. We can finally reflect on the ‘’best album of 2017′’.
Freedom TV by Wayne Snow
God’s Poop or Clouds by Jet Age of Tomorrow
selftitled by Jitwam
Steve Lacy’s demo by Steve Lacy
Frank by Liv.e
Yesterday's Homily by Jon Bap
Well, didn’t share it here but, here’s a nice article about Marie-Ange Zibi & I.
BLACK GIRL MAGIC : ÊTRE FEMME ET NOIRE DANS L’INDUSTRIE MUSICALE.
she’s pissed
She’s pissed.
She’s mad. She’s out of focus, she’s ready to bite.
How many times in a successful woman’s life there will be these assholes who wants to eat out if our plates. I did everything to get them out.
I’ve call the 7 names.
I’ve thrown a record in the Far Away lake.
I even tried to hypnotize my melancholic soul. A piece of Saudade after every meal since my mama put me on this Earth.
And yet, these mugles have been acting out.
All I wanted is the taste of lust. A fuel for the Witches Brew potion. And again, these mugles are acting out as if they went to magic school or some shit.
Deep down, I know it comes from (them). It’s there way to keep me on lock. Checking my shameless ego for not winning again with these flawless charms. One day I’ll act like Mambo. Now, I’m just like Sabrina.
Came from a long way.
Past 6 months were kind of out of the ordinary. My mind, body and soul had to move away for reperation.
Sometimes, you just realize that people in your own will use your (black) ass and then throw you like a little piece of old Kleenex. That’s what they do. You should’ve known better and instead, you just gave them all the cheddar even you liver. Friends don’t need to be in the same continent as you do, They are simply people who respect and loves the shit out of you. I mean everybody knows that. I don’t and I’m 25 years old.
Well, I was & felt alone. I needed space because, I still wanted to be greater and do greater before it kills me.
First time in New York with my brother SHUNGU. We did a radio show at The Lot Radio. Listen Here - http://bit.ly/2tKSQHO
Tried to talk about us. Then, he took over our Carnaval Love Story. He was there before anyway.
you’re never sure, you can’t never tell. you can always fall deep and step back on your feet. but, please fall for all the feeling you feel you need to put yourself into. you’ll learn. everything is a first. especially this.
WITCHES BREW - http://bit.ly/2nfoOUa
I finally had my first record diggin’ day. I went to the weirdest Mall in Sao Paulo called Galeria do Rock. An even worst version of the mini mall on St-Cathe and Robert-Bourassa. At the end of the building, on the 2nd floor, there’s a ton of record shops. Most of them are selling Metal, American Rock and Punk music. All the classics Brazilian music are proudly hanging on their walls. It gave me a little saudade pra Aux 33tours, for a minute !
I got lucky in a record shop in the basement. Although, I'm really allergic to dust but, I went hard and found 3 babies.
MUST LISTEN TO ‘’General Da Banda’’ - https://youtu.be/YSxL6aDdqk4
Listen to the full album here - https://youtu.be/kpgswkz0fyQ
Listen to the full album here - https://youtu.be/ApHOT7-56pQ
I don’t know that I’m looking for when I buy records. Most important is that I have time to look for any piece that I can so no gold records slip from my hands. I’m still discovering the history about all these artists and that’s the beauty of record diggin.
And still, ‘’Trem da Onze’’ was haunting me more then anything. Keep getting that high pitched note "Sou filho unico" (I’m a unique child) by Gal Costa’s in repeat in my head. She's my favorite a Brazilian singer and Baiana. Then, I when to Ma’s house. We drank a few beers and I experienced my first college camarote in Sao Paulo. Then, I did it. I got inked. Grand Ma & Gal Costa on my thighs with a little piece of wax. My friend Be, Ma’s sister, did a wonderful job while we were listening to Nai Palm's sweet tender vocals. Of course, I fucked all my cicatrization process 'cause I went to the Jungle and the ocean for 10 days after the tattoo was made. Bad bad kid, eh ?
Then, on my day. I dropped by Na Manteiga’s online radio to have a chat with them and got a few minutes and played some tunes. I think it’s incredible to see so many collective of people all around the world trying to push forward music without any restrictions in these online radios. LONG LIVE TO YOU GUYS !