#&creations

[nessyvanda]

— ° ∵ ☼ FUTURE WEEK Vanessa's instagram feed

[nessyvanda]

— ° ∵ ☼ FUTURE WEEK

Vanessa has been lost in her own mind for a while at the age of 21. New York City, no matter if it was Manhattan or Brooklyn, no place seemed to calm her mind and soul. So when she finally graduated after a year of studying journalism and four years of literature she left the city, her friends and the boy she’s been seeing on and off.

Europe, that was the place she escaped to. She started in Portugal, to find herself in her own heritage and did the same in Italy after staying a while in Spain. France, the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden,..., all the countries worth visiting in Vanessa’s mind got a visit from her. She left alone, but that didn’t mean she was always alone. She made new friends in every country she stayed in, Imani visited her a few times and Gabe, the guy she was seeing on and off during college, visited her as well. He surprised her many times by showing up out of the blue. Vanessa enjoyed every second Imani and Gabe came to visit her. But they made her realise how much she missed at home. Imani brought pictures with her of her two cats and another litter of newborn kittens. Gabe made her feel good, she knew that they would never be the typical couple that will get married one day but that didn’t matter. She didn’t want a family, she decided that after her miscarriage and infertility news in 2017.

So after a few years of writing lots of journals full with poetry and stories in Europe, Vanessa decided to return to the city to follow her heart. V felt better, the time away from NYC did her good. Gabe and she stayed together for a while, Vanessa shared her stories and poetry with a lot of publicists before her first book of poetry.

Right now her second poetry book got published and she’s currently working on a book for children. Working hard to make her relationship with Gabe work.

[nessyvanda]

— ° ∵ ☼ LOVE ON THE BRAIN

If you ask Vanessa who she loves the most, she can’t deny it is her boyfriend.

They’ve known each other since he was born, because her bestfriend is his sister. So when she was younger she could’ve never imagined that she would love him so much one day.

Isaac and Vanessa are both into music. Vanessa her caring personality works perfect with the younger guy. He makes her feel special through helping her with her music. His jokes make her laugh every time. They spend a lot of time together, just having fun and being happy. 

[nessyvanda]

— ° ∵ ☼ SHOUT OUT TO MY EX

Xavier and Vanessa dated a while ago, their relationship wasn’t your typical high school relationship. Just because both of them aren’t anything like your typical high schoolers.

Being different than the others brought them together, they were a good couple and found much support in each other. It was something innocent, they were just bestfriends with a different label.

Their breakup was hard though, it was like Vanessa lost her bestfriend. Luckily she doesn’t feel like this anymore now, they still speak sometimes and nothing is awkward between them. She is thankful for all the moments they had together.

[nessyvanda]

— ° ∵ ☼ CHEAP THRILLS

Writing about her feelings, her ex lovers and her problems. That’s how Vanessa spends her time, only if she isn’t reading a book or spending time with her friends.

Writing is something that she’s done for years, always writing down her feelings instead of talking about it. Recently she decided to share her writing more with professors and friends.

Vanessa’s favorite book must be #GirlBoss, because who doesn’t love a book about women empowering themselves?

[nessyvanda]

Vanessa Vanda: bio

-basic info- name: Vanessa Vanda nicknames: nessy, nessa, ness, bub (only by Ben) age: 20 gender: cisfemale nationality/ethnic background: hondurian & portuguese & italian birthday: 14 september 1996 occupation: student at NYU current residence: NYC

living residence/sleeping space: sharing an apartment in the city with Zsa

previous residence: Atlanta sexual orientation: heterosexual (secretly bisexual) general personality: open relationship status: single likes: cats, reading, writing, going out

favorite food: wings dislikes: being forced to do something

-relationships- family: complicated due her sister being her real mother which means she has no real siblings but grew up thinking she has 2 brothers and 3 sisters

friends: Zsa, Imani

boyfriend: none currently -appearance- hair color: dark brown hair type: long, straight, bangs eye color: brown, sometimes wears green contacts eye shape: round height: 5’4” weight: 55 kg/121.25 pounds build/body shape: skinny but with curves

[nessyvanda]

— ° ∵ ☼ TASK ONE: A LETTER TO MY BROKEN HEART

Dear ex,

I still think of you every single day. I’m still hurting.

You promised me everything good in the world, and you gave it to me for a while.

I was your muse, your everything. It was a dream to me, I had never been more in love with a man. Everything I felt was pure, nothing could pull me down. When I got bad news or when I had a bad day, I called you and you picked me up. You made me feel like a princess. No, you made me feel like a queen and as if I was the only girl you ever loved.

But suddenly I was scared you would go back to your ex, scared that I wouldn’t be good enough, scared that the fact that she had your child would eventually make you go back to her. Scared and caught up in those thoughts, I lost you to someone else.

I love you, I’m sorry for that though. But every damn day is a struggle for me, I can’t find myself again.

- Vanessa 🥀