#&hc1

[jihoonmi]

40. do you miss anyone from your past?

                                 ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  not accepting!

“do you miss anyone from your past?”

( & // does he? it's a good question, albeit one he isn't too keen on answering. missing people requires some vulnerability, and he's not a fan of that. he thinks it's weak. still, his usually bright smile shifts into something more wistful, distant, eyes staring off into some spot on the horizon ) i don't make a habit of it. ( he doesn't. he's one to fall out of touch with people without caring, usually focusing on the present and the future. there are many people from high school that he even considered friends that he doesn't contact anymore but doesn't miss. still, maybe there are a few people after all ) i miss the staff at the crow's nest that quit for one reason or another. working there kind of feels like family, you know? especially the ones i grew up with. they basically helped raise me, and there are only a few of them around now. i try to keep in touch, but i'm pretty busy. there are some that died, too. ( the smile disappears now, eyes still slightly glazed over, expression more troubled. there's one more he doesn't really want to mention. his gaze flickers in indecision ) i miss woojin sometimes, but i don't think i have a right to. he was...nice. i don't know. ( and he doesn’t like admitting it, either )

[jihoonmi]

38

                                 ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  not accepting!

“have any pets?”

( & // he breaks out into a grin immediately ) i do! ( it's easy to smile; he loves them, after all ) two cats! well, one is gahyeon's and one is mine, but i think they're both ours. ( gahyeon brought kittens home one day, and their mom wasn't hard to convince, considering they had no pets at that point, and they both agreed to accept responsibility for one each ) there's one boy and one girl, and i took the girl and gahyeon took the boy. she's a really good cat! she'll sit on your lap when she likes you, and will only get in the way a little bit. she's pretty easygoing.

[jihoonmi]

6 & 10

                                  ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  accepting

“do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?”

( & // he laughs, something akin to disbelief ) no. ( he’s said it before: he’s only ever gotten into relationships because he was bored ) nothing serious, anyway. i doubt i’ll ever be in a serious relationship. i’m pretty sure that’s impossible for me. ( it goes back to the lack of emotions again, and the fact that he doesn’t think he’s felt anything romantic in his entire life ) i don’t think i even have the time for a “just because i’m bored” relationship right now, and who knows how long it’ll be before i do. maybe i’ve outgrown that phase of my life by now, anyway. i can’t even imagine myself dating girls for fun anymore. ( girls have always been easier to mess with than boys for him, for some reason, and it’s not because he gets more attached to the boys. he doesn’t think he has the energy anymore– for the leading people on, for the dates, for the pretending. he wants the love, but he doesn’t want to give it )

“would you kiss the last person you kissed again?”

( & // a smile crosses his face immediately ) i would kiss anyone i’ve ever kissed again, just so we’re clear. unless it was a girl. ( he makes a face of disgust. despite his preferences, he has kissed a few girls, to ultimately decide he never wanted to again if he could help it. that went over well with his high school girlfriends, naturally, and was why eventually he stopped bothering with them ) i don’t actually know who the last person i kissed was. ( another smile, this time a little sly. it’s a toss up between spencer and bomin, because he’s kissed them both a total of quite a few times in the last month, and he doesn’t remember the timeline of it all ) but i’d kiss them both again. ( they’re so different, just like their kisses. with bomin, it’s always soft and brief– pecks, something relatively appropriate for friends. he’s his best friend– someone he really treasures, but wouldn’t really consider himself attracted to. sure, he’d kiss bomin more if he ever wanted to, but jihoon would kiss anyone. it’s not something he places a high value on. spencer is…different. with spencer it’s far from soft– rough around the edges, maybe a certain kind of hunger. the attraction is there, something magnetic, and jihoon doesn’t know how he feels about him, just knows he’s something like fascinated. there’s fondness there, too. maybe spencer is magical, and he likes it )

[jihoonmi]

28 & 48.

                               ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  accepting

“have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?”

killed a man. ( & // he laughs afterwards, suggesting it’s a joke, but with jihoon, one can never be too sure ) i’m not sure. there’s not much that i’d mind people finding out about, i don’t think? ( or maybe he’s just not remembering anything ) i guess i don’t want people to find out when i steal from them, so that probably counts. there are also some other things, but…i can tell you if you want. ( he smiles, a little crookedly, a little darkness in his eyes. this is probably nsfw and i refuse to write about it, thanks )

“what makes you happy?“

some more things? ( & // he hums in thought. he doesn’t think he’s a happy enough person to list anything more than he already did, and maybe even then, they were things that he liked instead of what made him happy. is there a difference? if there is, jihoon doesn’t know it ) sunrises, and the moon…food. ( he can’t believe he forgot about food before. really? ) i was going to say video games, but they mostly just make me mad. ( a sheepish laugh ) i don’t know what else…i can start naming specific friends, if you want? ( he laughs with no real intention to do that, because he doesn’t want to pick and choose, and he likes to think they make him happy as a whole. for some reason his brother comes to mind for reasons entirely unknown to him, because he makes him far from happy. his face darkens into something almost resembling a scowl. why would his mind betray him like this when he’s supposed to be thinking about things that make him happy? maybe it’s because he should.)

( & // already answered here! )

[jihoonmi]

5 & 12.

                               ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  accepting

 “what kind of people are you attracted to?”

didn’t i already answer this? ( & // he wrinkles his nose ) i guess my dream guy is different than who i’m attracted to? or they’re different questions, but my answer is the same ( he laughs, a short sound ) boys, to start, in case you forgot. ( he grins ) i can see when girls are attractive, and i appreciate that, but it’s not nearly the same. ( does he have a type? ) i’m attracted to a lot of people, but it’s mostly the same as what i said about my dream guys-- those qualities. i guess there’s something kind of attractive about people i can corrupt, too? but there’s a bigger chance of feelings getting involved with those types, and feelings are tiresome. if i don’t care about them as people i’d kiss them anyway, though. it’s nice to be loved even if i don’t feel the same way, so i wouldn’t mind. 

( & // already answered similar! )

“what are you bad habits?”

what, you really think i have habits? ( & // he feigns offense, but smiles soon after ) i don’t know. maybe you should ask someone else, they might know better, right? ( still, he tries to think regardless ) drinking, maybe, though i don’t think i do it too much. my anger? is that a habit? probably not, but i have a habit of getting too mad about things. i also have a habit of...not having other emotions. ( he laughs, even though it shouldn’t be funny. he is a large absence of emotion, and any emotion he does have is processed through anger because he doesn’t know how to deal with anything else. it manifests as that, too, even if he remains outwardly calm and composed. his anger simmers and smolders ) i’m too critical, and sometimes i wait until i have no clothes left to do the laundry. oh, i guess stealing would count as a bad habit, right? ( he laughs about forgetting it ) that’s my best bad habit, though. ( he tries to think of more, even if he’s already listed enough ) i gossip a lot too, but that’s too fun for me to consider it bad. ( he smiles crookedly. there are some more he doesn’t realize: not getting enough sleep, multi-tasking, perfectionism, eating so much, talking with his mouth full (sometimes), chewing gum loudly, over-scheduling, biting the top of his pens, tapping his feet, 

[jihoonmi]

4, 20, 30

                                ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  accepting

“if you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?”

there is no one i like-- not in the way you’re asking. ( & // of course it wouldn’t be platonic like. there’s no fun in that. he means what he says, but he knows there’s someone that comes close, maybe. jihoon doesn’t do crushes. he does attraction and fixation, even if he isn’t aware of it. anything he feels lacks the romance, and sees jealousy and possessiveness as its fuel. there are people he likes spending time with, sure, but in a platonic sense, and it’s hard for him to even want to date anyone, let alone actually be committed to them. he only ever dated for fun, anyway. who’s the closest thing, though? ) spencer? ( he asks, though he doesn’t need any approval or response. spencer. he’s something, alright, and the part of jihoon that wants to find out what is just as great as the part of him that doesn’t ) he’d probably take care of me. don’t know if he’d be any good at it, though. he’d probably be drunk too. 

“describe your dream girl/guy?”

oh, i don’t know. ( & // he makes a big act of making it wistful, but he breaks out into a playful smile ) you think i’m the type to dream about a girl or a guy? if it was a dream it would be a guy; you should know that first. second, you should know i’m not the type. relationships have never been a priority for me and never will be. ( and he doesn’t mind. jihoon has never really wanted one, unless it’s to kill his boredo  ) but i’ll humor you, i guess. ( and he sighs, and then thinks about it ) someone with a good sense of humor. someone hard-working, and...capable. not anyone weak-willed, or meek, or easily frightened. no one too emotional, but...warmer than i am. i would say someone that isn’t afraid of me, but i want them to be a little scared. ( and when he smiles, there’s a certain darkness to it, absent from most of his other smiles ) but someone that will stay, anyway. someone okay with every side of me. someone that will make me feel more...human? ( he doesn’t like the last part. it feels weak, even if it’s true, so he reels it back ) oh, they have to be attractive too, obviously, otherwise the deal is off.

“been arrested? for what?” 

not yet. ( he grins deviously ) and i never will be! even if they detain me, i’ll talk my way out of it~ i have a lot of friends that would give me an alibi, too.

[jihoonmi]

50

                                ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  accepting

“what’s your favourite quote?“

oooh. ( & // he says it aloud, like he’s particularly intrigued ) i’m not much of a quotes person. ( he admits, with a little grin ) i don’t really read other than what i have to for school, and i don’t think i’ve ever liked a book enough to remember quotes from it. i like movies a lot though, and there are some good quotes from those, like you know, the classics: “i’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse,” “nobody puts baby in a corner,” “here’s looking at you, kid.” i wouldn’t say any of those are my favorite, though. my dad says “don’t be afraid of being afraid,” and i think that’s a pretty good one. i think that’s part of the reason why i’m scared of so little, aside from seeing some of the worst of what you can see early on. when you know fear is there, and you aren’t afraid of it, it doesn’t have power over you anymore, and then it’s not even really there. ( is he good at living by that quote, though? over time, maybe his lack of experience with fear caught up with him to the point that when he feels it now, it makes him panic ) my mom sometimes says “people give away what they need the most,” and i think about that a lot. i don’t know if i really agree with it, to be honest, but maybe that’s why i don’t give much ( he laughs) 

[jihoonmi]

48: what makes you happy?

                                ✧ ┊ headcanon meme  ┅┅┅┅  accepting

( & // there’s a part of him that thinks he isn’t capable of feeling such an emotion– something so light and warm. at his heart is a certain coldness and darkness that bleeds into everything, so he can’t say he knows it with confidence. there are still things that might come close, at least, and that fit his definition of happiness ) my friends, work– the crow’s nest in general. when customers tip well, not just for me, but for the others. it means they were happy with us, you know? and that’s nice. attention (  he laughs, but that was probably evident for anyone that knew him, as much as he tried to be subtle about it ) stealing something successfully, especially if it was through a magic trick. the looks on people’s faces when i do a trick. movies, running, getting more than four hours of sleep (  he laughs again, and the smile stays on his face; it’s a good topic, after all ) when people compliment me, and…when other people are happy, i think, even if just a little. ( even if he’ll claim he doesn’t care, or a part of him that’s jealous instead, he can find the happiness in it ) my mom’s smile, and when my dad comes home. maybe more, but that’s all i can think of for now.