Warnings: Mentions of SH, unwanted pregnancy, misogynistic talk (not used towards a woman, but the sentiment remains the same), substance abuse
Random disclaimer: hey, don't do anything I wrote about in this fic. It's fucking fiction.
The air felt stale in the room, and the only light illuminating the space came from the window. It was late afternoon, and Loki felt like he was vibrating with anger. His skin felt hot, hotter than it had ever been before, and he felt if he didn't stop biting his tongue, he'd bite it clean through.
But when he spoke, although it contained an unimaginable amount of rage, it was quiet. It wasn't quiet in such a way that it was calming, no, it was just condensed. His voice shook with the weight of it. He gripped the edge of the counter and breathed heavy.
"I could kill you right now."
Fandral stares from across the kitchen. "I know."
"I've killed men much stronger than you."
"I know."
"I could do it without blinking an eye."
"I know."
Loki felt his rage surge and he screamed, grabbed the nearest thing next to him, and threw a ceramic mug at Fandral, who dodged it. "Say anything else, you churl!"
Fandral sighed and grabbed the broom from the closet nearby. "Loki, please, I want you to understand, to see it from my perspective, but you're so hysterical right now you can't even understand reason."
Loki grinded his teeth together. His face just looked so punchable. "I want to break your face. I want to hurt you, but I can't think of any way to do it in which you will feel how I feel. No pain I could bring unto you could match mine."
Fandral finished sweeping up the broken ceramic and throwing it in the trash. "I know, Loki. I'm sorry I've brought you such pain, but know it is temporary."
"I just thought it was the withdrawals. I thought the nausea was just me struggling to quit drinking. But no, you stuck a baby in me. I had no idea! What if I hadn't stopped drinking!?"
"Well yes, that's why Thor told you that you must quit immediately. I knew you'd listen to him."
Loki's blood went cold and his heart skipped a beat. He had assumed Thor had played a part in it. He'd been almost 100% sure. But a little, moronic part of him still believed Thor might be innocent. The color wiped from his face and he felt another string of his heart being slit. "So Thor was in on this, was he?" Loki would've been angry, years ago. He would've ripped his throat out with his teeth and cut out his tongue for this transgression. But now, after they had been so close and had spent so long recovering their brotherhood and friendship, this betrayal cut too deep. It cut so deep the anger did not, and would not hit for a long time. Loki sniffled, and realized he began to cry.
"Don't even think about it," he warned, as Fandral approached, his eyes filled with worry and guilt.
"I told him that I wanted a life with you. Something that could be happy and calm and that we'd have a bundle of children. I told him that I wanted to make you my wife and take you away from your misery. I wanted to bring you happiness and bring you to a life worth living."
"I had a life worth living, as advisor to the crown, before Thor took it away from me."
"He hated being king, and he thought the Valkyrie would keep you around. He couldn't have predicted that she wouldn't bring you back to her advisory team."
Loki shook his head. "She hates me. He saw that. He knew I'd never get my career back if she took the throne, and he passed it onto her. Now I have nothing!"
Fandral's hand twitched, yearning to reach out to Loki. "You don't have nothing."
Loki hissed at him. "Don't. Don't you dare. This is nothing to me. You are nothing."
Tears rose on Fandral's eyes and his lip quivered. "I wasn't just talking about me."
Loki glanced down at his stomach, where he knew in his brain that he was far too early in his pregnancy to see a bump, but in his irrational mind, he thought he could see a little bump growing, a sign of the life planted within him.
"This means nothing to me. And when we get back to Asgard, it will be nothing."
Fandral paused and stood up straight. "What do you mean?"
"I will go to the healers and demand they terminate this shameful pregnancy. Then I will cut off all ties with you. You will never see me again. And maybe Thor won't either." He said, his voice shaking even further and his legs turned to jello underneath him. He felt like he might fall right over.
Fandral's face turned hard. "No. No! You will not," he shouted, moving closer to Loki. "You will keep this baby. This is our baby, and it is a living being that deserves to be born! And what healer do you know that will break the law to terminate this baby? You know that you require my permission, as your husband, to terminate the pregnancy."
Loki growled at him. "Why do you insist on torturing me? What pleasure do you gain? Why not find someone who is interested in your advances?"
Fandral moved forward and holds Loki's hand, and Loki is too struck with rage and grief and fear to move away or to strike his husband. "You are all I want. I need you like the sea needs the salt. You are everything to me, do you understand? And you are with my baby, our baby, and I have in my hands now what I have sought after my entire life. I can no longer bear to let you ruin your life with those substances and cry your days away. You're so unfulfilled in this life, Loki, my love. I want to make you see that there is a better way to live and be happy. Trust me, as you feel the life of our child grow inside you, you will understand the beauty of pregnancy and motherhood, and how fulfilled and happy it will make you. When you hold our baby in your arms, you will understand that there is no other way you want to live but this."
Loki pulled his shaking hand away and wiped his tears. "I can't. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be pregnant, I don't want to be a mother, I don't want to be married to you and I don't want a child, let alone multiple! Can't you see that this is all what you want?"
Fandral brought his hand back and kissed his fingers. "I know it feels that way right now Loki, but give it time, you'll discover that this is what you want too. You want to be a wife and mother. You want this, but you've just been so accustomed to misery. This change feels like your life is over, when it's just beginning."
Loki pulled his hand away again. "Your lips feel like acid."
"If you keep rejecting my affections, I'll have to force you to like them."
Loki shuddered and backed away a step.
"I love you, Loki. You're the love of my life. I want nothing more than to have this baby with you. I want to have a big, happy family. Please, tell me you'll try to enjoy it."
"No. You have trapped me like an animal, why should I follow your commands?"
"Because I want the best for you, and this is what is best for you. Loki, your purpose is to bear children, that's why the Norns gave you the proper organs to carry and birth them. Can't you see?" He rested his hand gently over Loki's womb. "They made you fertile, too. I thought I'd have to try harder to impregnate you, but the Norns made it an easy job, because they knew that fulfilling your purpose would bring us both such happiness."
Loki felt sick, and unable to move. His limbs felt heavy and stagnant, and his lungs wouldn't suck in any air. He wanted to break every bone in his body but a disgusting, horrible voice inside him whispered, "Don't. That's the father of your child. That's your husband."
"I might throw up," he half-whispered, half-whimpered, and Fandral led him to the bathroom and held his hair back as he vomited into the toilet.
"I think we should go back to Asgard. It's always good to be around family when you're expecting a baby, and I think Thor could help out. He's good at comforting you. Do you want to go home?"
Loki nodded pathetically, and tears fell from his eyes, which Fandral promptly wiped and kissed away. "You'll feel much better when we're home, I promise, my love." Fandral wiped his mouth and helped him brush his teeth to get the vomit taste and smell out.
Loki cried the whole plane ride home.
---
When Loki arrived back on Asgard, he rushed home and lied immediately in his bed, wanting to cry there in the peace and safety of his own home. But sadly, he was not afforded even that small of a luxury. Thor invaded his space, and sought to comfort him and convince him of why he should be happy about this marriage and pregnancy. Loki didn't want to hear any of it. He didn't care. He wanted to end this pregnancy, then the marriage.
"Brother," Thor said and sat down next to Loki on the bed. He ran his fingers through Loki's hair and kissed his head. "All will be well, I promise you this."
Loki kicked his feet petulantly. "Oh, shut up!" He whined and buried his face in the pillow.
Thor sighed and rubbed his back. "Loki, come now, you must calm yourself. What do you think is so awful? I understand if you're upset, I get it, but what about this is making you so panicky?"
Loki kicked at him futilely. "Don't! Don't act like you don't know. I told you I didn't want this. I told you that I wanted nothing to do with Fandral, and that I never wanted children!"
Thor lifted him up and sat him up on the bed as he sat next to him. "But don't you see how happy he could make you? If only you gave into his neverending affections and love for you, then you would be able to be so happy, don't you see?"
Loki scowled at him. "He won't ever make me happy. He is not capable. All he does is bring me misery. Look at what he's done to me!"
"You were miserable before him. You're killing yourself, Loki." Thor's voice breaks and tears bud at the corners of his eyes. "I can't keep watching you do this. I can't, I'll go mad. You're all I have Loki, I just want you to be stable and find some form of happiness, and I think this is your best shot."
Loki felt a rush of guilt hit him. He had forgotten that while he was drinking and taking anything anyone would give him, Thor was struggling. He forget that they were all they had. Loki glanced to Thor again and quickly looked away. He hated feeling like this.
"I won't be happy. I can't. I won't be able to find happiness in his arms."
Thor shakes his head. "Even if that were true, it'd bring you a sense of stability. You'd have a healthy marriage with a nice man who loves you, a healthy baby, and a brother who loves you very much and wants nothing but the best for you."
Loki wanted to kill him and hug him at the same time. Thor had dragged him to his death with such good intentions. "I can't even stand to look at him. I want to vomit. And I can't even imagine this child. It terrifies me. Every time I think of this baby, how it feeds off of me and grows inside me like a parasite, I feel so overcome with fear and anxiety I could die."
"Please, don't refer to your baby as a parasite. They're a baby, and they're growing inside of you and need you, and speaking of that, you need to eat a lot more. You're eating for two now."
Loki felt hot. "Thor, don't."
"You need to. This baby needs nourishment to grow big and strong. Who knows, it may even be multiple in there."
Loki hit him, hard, not playfully. "Don't even fucking joke about that. I'd kill myself if there were multiple in me."
Thor frowns and looks away. "I hate when you talk like that. I love you so much, Fandral loves you so much, and this baby loves you so much. I don't think I'd be able to take it if you took the life of both my lovely brother, last living family member, and unborn niece or nephew. You're my favorite person in this whole world, please don't even joke about doing that to yourself."
Loki nods. They'd had this conversation a million times. Loki would hurt himself or talk about how miserable he was and Thor would say the same thing, time and time again. And Loki would still be covered in fresh cuts the next day and would still drink, smoke, and take whatever he was offered. He never went out of his way to seek hard drugs, but if someone had some at whatever house party or traphouse he was in, he wouldn't decline. And Loki always felt guilty, for what he knew he was doing to Thor, but now, he felt like they were cosmically even. All the pain that he had caused Thor in his life, every stabbing, every betrayal, every fight, every mental breakdown, everytime Thor was left to deal with his messes and the aftermath of whatever he had done, he felt like Thor had thrown the final punch, evening out the score.
And Loki didn't know how to feel about it. The guilt remained and he was still pregnant. Thor still betrayed him. Thor made his worst nightmare come true. He was going to be a wife and mother. He was going to be pregnant with this baby for nine, no, ten years, since he was a Jotun. He didn't feel an ounce of relief, when he thought he should've. He should've felt relieved all the harm he had done to Thor all of the years was evened out now. The guilt should go away, but it hasn't. Now the guilt remained, with a partner, righteous anger.
Loki stumbled off the bed and gripped the edge of the end table for support. The floor felt uneven and his feet felt too weak to hold him up and everything was wrong. Everything hurt so unbelievably much. He sniffled again and knelt down on the floor. He felt warm arms wrap around him and kiss the back of his neck, and Loki wanted to sob even harder.
"Get off of me!" He screamed, and kicked Fandral off of him, scrambling away to the corner of the room. "You fucking monster. You fucking monster..." He sobbed and held the wall for support.
Fandral was nothing more than a blob in his vision, slightly smaller than the blob he identified as Thor. He encroached on his space and held him close, and Loki didn't have the strength to push him away this time. He spent the rest of the night sobbing, screaming hysterically. At one point someone called the Einherjar out of fear someone was getting abused. Thor, of course, explained Loki was in one of his bouts of hysteria, and he'd try to calm him down. They seemed satisfied with that and left them alone for the rest of the night.
Loki didn't sleep, he passed out. He didn't fade gently into the great black abyss, his body just couldn't handle any more. At some point, it all just stopped. There was nothing but black, and Loki couldn't remember the exact point in which his stream of consciousness ended. He just remembered being glad it was over.
---
Fandral had temporarily moved in with Thor and Loki, sleeping on the couch until Loki had allowed him (or not violently kicked him out with threats of bodily harm) to sleep in his bed. Thor had tried to argue with him, telling him that he should be sleeping with his husband, and that it was good for the baby to be around his papa more, even in utero, but Loki had won the argument in a way he never tried before.
He stopped talking.
Loki stopped talking, in fact, for a record breaking week. It was the longest he'd ever gone without talking in his entire life, and had scared Thor and Fandral half to death.
When Loki finally broke his week of silence, he conceded his defeat. He had given up, truly, and wholly. He had lost not just the battle, but the war.
What caused him to break his week of silence was one of the most crushing experiences of his life. He couldn't tell so far if it was worse than discovering his true heritage, Asgard burning, or falling from the rainbow bridge, but he knew it was close. He had been watched, nonstop for the past couple of days, by Fandral and Thor, who made sure to feed him much more than he would ever usually eat, rub his feet and belly, and Fandral would always kiss him and cuddle him. He spent the majority of his time silently crying and staring off into space, completely zoned out. Reality became too difficult to bear.
One afternoon, when he snapped out of this haze, he realized that Fandral had left, and Thor was leaving too.
"Hey, Loki, I'm going out to the market to fetch us some more food and some prenatal vitamins for you, do you need anything?"
Loki shook his head, and in an instant discovered what this meant. He would be unsupervised.
Thor sat down next to Loki on the couch. "Fandral had to go to train some warriors. You can come with me if you want. I don't like leaving you all alone here, but I thought you might want some peace and quiet. You can also go to Fandral and watch him train warriors if you wish. Whatever you want, I swear, Loki."
Loki looked over at him and blinked and waved him away before looking away, bored.
Thor nodded and kissed his head. "I'll be back as soon as possible, you'll eat something while I'm gone, right? You're far too skinny, I fear."
Loki nodded and wiped his eyes, feeling dreadfully tired.
"The baby needs nutrients to grow big and strong. Please, eat something. There's bread, yogurt, and snacks in the kitchen for you."
Loki felt bile rise in the back of his throat at the mention of the baby. This baby. It had consumed his life already, and it wasn't even born yet.
Thor smiled at him one last time before leaving.
Loki waited. He waited long enough for Thor to be long gone, and quickly looked out the window for any curious neighbors who might spot him before sneaking out the front door, a hoodie strewn over him with the hood pulled over his head. He pulled the strings tighter to cover his face and walked with his hands in his pockets and head facing the ground, praying nobody noticed him. He stared at the ground, listening to his footsteps and the watching where his feet met the pavement.
"Loki, is that you?" He heard a familiar voice say.
Loki grimaced and looked up, to see Hogun walking towards him on the street. He plastered as real of a smile as he could (which might've been the most fake smile in his entire life.) muster on his face and greeted him. "Hogun."
"Oh my, it's been so long since I've seen you, I've heard about your marriage! Why are you out without your husband? You know you shouldn't be walking around without a chaperone. Would you like for me to come along?"
And while the question was phrased in such a way that gave Loki the illusion of choice, the real statement hid underneath those words, and Loki understood it well. Hogun was not asking if Loki wanted a chaperone, he was telling him, "you're doing something wrong. It's scandalous. I'm going to help you out and protect you this time by being your chaperone, but don't do it again." Asgardian liked to do that-- phrasing demands and orders and statements as questions. They loved to enforce the status quo and how things were and the way they were going with candied, polite terms of phrase. Everyone knew what they meant by these phrases, such as, "Oh my, I'd hate for your husband to see you without a head covering on in public, would you like me to get one for you?" And "You know, every child is a blessing. Children really are the joys of the world." And everyone knew what those phrases meant. It meant, "know your place. Know your role. Be good for what you were made for, and don't step out of bounds." You can mince words all you want, but you can't hide the truth. Loki knew that all too well.
"Sure." It seemed Fandral had yet to announce the pregnancy, judging by how Hogun didn't mention it, so perhaps his trip to the healers could be passed off as a regular checkup.
Hogun smiled. "Wonderful, where are we headed?"
"The healers."
"Oh my, that isn't good. Your husband really should be bringing you there. It's a shame he's made you to walk such a way all by yourself. I shall talk with him about this if you would like."
Loki felt his heart skip a beat. "Oh, no, Hogun, it's not necessary."
Hogun nodded. "Ah, I see. Well, I must say, it was very thoughtful of you. But you really should allow your husband to accompany you anywhere. You're married now, and as the wife in your relationship, it is best if you stay with him most times."
Loki felt that white-hot anger return, and swallowed it down with a small fraction of his pride. "Right. Well, he was busy."
"You must be loyal to your husband and protect your modesty as his wife. You shouldn't be out by yourself, it's too scandalous. At least have someone accompany you."
Loki felt greatly annoyed by his presence and just nodded and agreed so he'd shut up. He soon switched the conversation topic and they made quiet, useless chat as they walked, and it seemed to be going quite fine after that. When they arrived at the healers, Loki wished Hogun adieu, and Hogun told him to get home safe, and that if he called him, he'd gladly escort him back home. Loki told him not to worry about it, that he'd call Fandral to bring him home, and that was the end of that dreadful interaction.
Loki entered the healers, and greeted the receptionist quickly and rushed. She gave him a strange glance and opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but the words died in her throat. Loki thought nothing of it and continued down the hall to where Eir's section was. Though he no longer held a royal title, he was still entitled to the royal wing of the healer's temple. He entered, and Eir was sitting, reviewing some papers.
He took down his hood, letting his hair, greasy from not being washed, cascade down his shoulders. Before he could even get a word in, Eir looked up at him and shook her head.
"Go home, Loki."
Loki paused. "Excuse me?"
"Go home. There's nothing I can do for you here."
Loki felt a heat rush up his face and to his ears. "What the hell are you talking about? I haven't even said anything yet."
"I know exactly what you're here for. Go home. I've been ordered by the King to deny you what you wish."
"Thor is no longer king. His opinion no longer holds the same weight."
Eir nods. "You're correct on one account, that he is no longer king. However, his opinion still holds immense value in our society, and he pulls incredible power with his friendship with King Valkyrie. He spoke to her, and told her that I must be ordered to deny you an abortion, even if you have some forged documents showing that your husband agreed to it. So, Loki, you are not getting an abortion. Not now, not in the next 10 years. You'll carry that child to term, and raise them for the next 1,500 years until they're an adult. Even then, they'll still be your child. Now, do you want my advice?"
Loki couldn't speak. He collapsed into the chair next to him and rested his head in his hands, feeling tears rush down his face again. He had never cried so much in his life.
And Eir decided this was the best opportunity to give her unsolicited advice. "Learn to be content where you are, if you can't at least be happy. Learn to be fine with it, to cope with your new life. I'm sure you'll be fine once the baby's born."
Loki let out a loud sob and wiped his eyes. "Please Eir, take mercy on me. You know, we can make it look like a miscarriage! Nobody has to know. Please! Please!" Loki begged, and felt his pride crumble.
Eir seemed to take pity on him, but not enough to give him what he wanted. "I can give you an elixir for the morning sickness, as well as give you some advice for dealing with the depression and anxiety that may come with this change in your life, but Loki, this is your life now. You're going to be a mother."
Loki sniffled and shook his head. "Please, Eir, I'll do anything. Anything. Please."
Eir shook her head. "No. You'll have this baby. I can't do anything about that. I can help you with the depression, anxiety, and pregnancy symptoms, but I can't do anything about the baby. I urge you to find healthy coping mechanisms and take care of yourself. You know, the stress can harm the baby."
"I hope it dies inside of me. I really hope it does. I can't do this..."
"Loki, don't say that. This is your baby. It's a little life growing inside of you, it depends on you. It's helpless and needs you. I'll give you a months supply of the morning sickness elixir and give you some resources for struggling mothers and pregnant people. There are lots of great support groups out there."
Loki couldn't remember much after that. He was carrying the months supply of elixirs in a bag, and it started to rain as he walked home. The rain hid his tears, like he wasn't even crying. As he walked home, he saw the sign of a liquor store, and walked in.
The owner there knew him, knew him well at this point and smiled and waved. "Loki! Good to see you, man, where have you been? Your new husband making you get sober?"
He fakes a smile and nods. "Yeah, I guess." So everyone knew about the marriage. Great. He couldn't buy anything without his husband present, but he was hoping his relationship with the liquor store owner could bypass that law.
"Listen, Afkarr, we're friends, right? This is still a new marriage, you'll let me buy alcohol, right?"
He hummed and contemplated it for a minute. "Just a bottle. And something cheap, because you're a good friend, just keep this between us. No need to get the government involved in this, nor the Einherjar."
Loki smiled weakly at him and nodded. "Thank you." He purchased a bottle of a strong Vanir mead, but cheap, and Afkarr bagged it up.
He threw away the bag and stuffed the bag of liquor in his pocket. When he returned home, both Fandral and Thor were there. Shit. He tucked the bottle in the closet by the front door and hid it behind a few pairs of shoes.
He hesitated to shut the door behind him, but resolved to shut it very slowly. He winced when it closed, but it seemed neither Fandral nor Thor paid it any mind. Perhaps the rain covered the noise. They were talking in the kitchen, and Loki snuck behind the door and listened into their conversation.
"I'm worried, we should go after him."
"Calm down, Fandral, I've already called the Einherjar and told him to bring him home safely. I wouldn't worry. He's going to be back shortly, you know how he goes off on these little strolls."
"But you know how he's been these past few weeks. He's inconsolable. He's hysterical. I'm worried about him. I'm worried he might go mad again, like what happened on the rainbow bridge all those years ago. What if he snaps like that again? I don't think I can handle it."
"I won't let it happen. If he does go mad, he will not snap like before. He doesn't have even a fraction of his strength in Seiðr now that he's pregnant, we will be able to control him."
"Hogun told me he was on his way to the healer's today. I'm worried he might've gotten an abortion. I can't handle even the thought. My sweet, unborn child being taken away from me. I'm already so attached, and they're barely the size of a grape."
"That just means you'll be a good father, if you worry so much about your baby, even when they are so little you can't even see them. And I wouldn't worry about him getting an abortion. Everybody knows he's married to you, and I told Valkyrie to give direct orders to Eir that Loki is under no circumstance to receive an abortion. You have nothing to worry about, I promise you."
"What if he crosses the border into Norway!? He could get an abortion there."
"Please, Fandral, they'd catch him before he'd get close to the border."
Loki shifted on his feet slightly, and accidentally knocked over a glass cup sitting on the dresser.
"What was that?"
Thor came out of the room just as Loki was about to make a run for it, and grabbed him and hugged him tightly. "Loki! Thank the Norns you're alright! We were so worried about you."
Loki didn't respond, but it seemed they were both used to that after a week of silence.
"Loki, where'd you go, I was worried sick!" Fandral exclaimed, and Loki could see he had been crying.
"I went to the healers," he spoke quietly.
Fandral's breath hitched. "No, Loki, please, tell me you didn't--"
"I wasn't allowed. She denied me. Gave me elixirs for morning sickness and sent me on my way with contacts to support groups for pregnant people and mothers."
Fandral hugged him. "Oh, thank the Norns! I'm just glad Eir denied you. I'm glad she had some common sense. But Loki, why did you even try!?"
Loki shrugged and pushed him away, setting the bag of elixirs down on the counter and flopping down on the couch, throwing the hoodie to the side.
Fandral sat to his left, and Thor to his right. "Brother, please, answer the question. You had to have known that you wouldn't be able to get the abortion."
"I thought I could convince her to help me. To save me."
Fandral let out a quiet sob. "Loki, there is nothing to be saved from. You are loved, and safe, and you're going to be for a long time. I'm trying to provide you with a stable, simple life. Please tell me you will never try anything like that again!"
Loki nodded. "Alright."
Fandral was taken off guard. He had expected more of a fight. "You promise."
"Fine. You win, okay? I give up."
Fandral frowned, and held Loki's hand. "This isn't a fight, Loki. Nobody wins and nobody loses. If anything, we both win. We are both gifted with a beautiful child. This is a good thing, and I want you to see the joy in it too."
Loki shrugged. "I'm tired. I just give up, there's nothing for me to do. I'm not happy, and I don't think I will be, so I'm just going to give up and keep this baby in me for 10 years and then push it out, then spend the rest of my life raising babies and being a sad, tired housewife."
"You won't be unhappy, I promise you. I will try at every opportunity to fill your life with joy. And you will enjoy having children, too, once you experience it. You'll see how happy you'll be."
"Fine." Loki sighed. He was so tired of arguing.
Fandral kissed him, and Thor hugged him and wished him a good night before going to sleep. Fandral slept with Loki that night, holding him and rubbing his belly.
Loki woke in the dead of night, and rose from the bed without stirring Fandral, and went to the closet by the front door. He brought out the bottle of mead and opened it in the kitchen.
He stared at the liquid before pouring it into a cup, then stared at it some more.
Loki stared at it for maybe 15 minutes, before dumping the cup out in the sink, and feeling his stomach drop, seeing the liquor, what he was dying to taste on his tongue, fall down the drain. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.
There was something in his mind and body and soul, something primal that denied what his rational brain was thinking. It was an instinct older than time, and it told him, "this is your baby. Protect it."
He couldn't bring himself to do it. And he kicked himself for what he was about to do. He poured the mead down the drain, then walked outside with the empty bottle and shattered it into the storm drain in the street. He walked back inside and washed the mead down the sink with some soap, and sprayed some air freshener.
Thor walked in, in his pajamas some time later, wiping his bleary eyes filled with sleep. "Hey, Loki. I heard something shatter, did you?"
"I don't think so."
Thor nodded and hugged him tight. "I missed your voice."
Loki just stood there.
"I'm really excited about my little niece or nephew. I'm thinking it might be a girl. What about you?"
"Since I'm a Jotun, it will probably be neither."
Thor laughed sleepily. "Oh, right, I forgot. Sorry. I'm still excited to meet them. They're going to be so cute, I just know it."
"At least someone's excited."
"You'll get excited. Those motherly instincts will kick in, trust me."
And as Loki stood there, talking with his brother in the kitchen, he worried he was right. He was worried he didn't even know how right he was, too. Because those motherly instincts had kicked in, and had overpowered any logic still in his mind tonight. He was succumbing to this role, and he feared that it would consume him.
baffles me how hello puppets took the two characters that were widely excepted as queer by the fandom (riley and nick nack) and not only made one of them have a crush on the other but also made them siblings.
Smeargles are what we would consider red-green colorblind. Because of this, they cannot actually differentiate between shiny and non-shiny members of their collective. The subject matter of their art doesn't differ either, likely for the same reason--thus, the work of shiny smeargles tends to look very autumnal.
Dave: just as the phrase “what the entire fuck” implies the existence of fractional fucks, the phrase “what the absolute fuck” implies the existence of both positive and negative fucks (or else there would be no need for an absolute value operation) taken together with the phrase “what the actual fuck” (which implies the existence of imaginary fucks) we may thus conclude that fuckery is isomorphic with the complex field
Karkat: I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D BE SMART, LET ALONE DISCOVER FUCK SCIENCE.
