#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#assad zaman
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What was your mohter like Lune?
"Oh--" Here Lune hesitates, perhaps unsure how to best word his answer. "That's a fair question, but I'm afraid it's one I can't answer. I hope you do believe me when I say I'd be all too happy to if I could, however..! I guess the best explanation I can give is that for all intents and purposes, I don't have one."
For a split-second, it seems he might add more to clarify, but in the end, for perhaps unclear reasons, he decides against it.
@mutastanaccount asked: Cat King! What conspiracy theories do you believe in? (He's absolutely a flat earther. Or a dinosaur earther.)
Behind him, where the king can’t see, Natori immediately plants his face into his two fabric-clad paws.
The Cat King, meanwhile, looks only pensively absorbed, then leans forward in his seat as if he’s preparing to share a secret of the utmost significance. “Get this, babe—”
“Sire—” Natori tries to intervene.
“Later, Natori, people need to hear this one! Okay, so, we all know the brain is a nifty thing, don’t we? Helps us with the thinking thing? That’s nice an’ all, but what if it’s not just a convenient evolutionary advantage? Huh? Huh?! What if it’s actually some sorta evil, scheming parasite that just happened to make itself at home in our empty skulls and now, thanks to its manipulations, we can’t even remember the real truth?!”
“Your Majesty, if that was true, what on Earth would we have ever used in place of it..?” Natori finally manages to butt in with a pleading tone. This is an old argument.
At this, the king narrows his eyes at his advisor, one of his paws tapping absently at his chin.
“...Humans and their fancy-schmancy scientists will probably run across our real brains eventually,” he seems to decide on in a determined grumble. “This scandal runs deep, babe— it’s woven in all over everything. Besides, even Natoru agrees with me,” he adds defensively.
“Natoru..!” Natori directs an injured, reproving look at said tan-colored cat on the king’s other side.
For once, however, even Natoru appears rather remorseful at her part to play in this, holding her arms out to the side in a helpless shrug. “He wouldn’t let me leave!”
Fuck it, i'm throwing it out there: Cat King! Would you have sex with a clone of yourself?
He shrugs instinctively, "Yeh, if they were cute."
Beside him, Natori emits a strangled, high-pitched noise, and Natoru on his other side gives what sounds suspiciously like a 'whoop.'
Which is when the question and its accompanying answer finally decide to register in full to him.
"I mean— uh—"
Oh, you have given him a treacherous question, interrogator.. Does he now vehemently backpedal, implying he is not one of these cute ones? Does he, of all shameful things, continue with his facetious first instinct and face the inevitable backlash? Does he even want to be associated with this vulgar subject anyway? ...No, probably not. And there’s his out!
"Where do you get off asking someone like me a vulgar question like that?! Natori, babe, where's the big guards? Got someone for 'em to toss out the window."
Hey, Cat King? How do you get your fur to look like that? I bet you spend a ton of money on it!.. does the Cat Kingdom have a form of currency?
He’s thinking about the fact that Natori or one of his handmaids are in charge of the grooming around here... and no money is involved. Uh, oh.
“...Yeh. Tons of monies. There’s pounds and nickels and... yens everywhere.”
Then, in a whisper, “Natori, design a currency for the kingdom, and be quick about it. We look like provincial church mice.”
“I think that may prove to be an astoundingly unpopular course of action, sire.”
“Do it anyway! I don’t pay you to think!”
“...”
“...sire--”
“This is why we need currency!!!”
What's the worst curse word everyone knows?
Let me guess, the Cat King probably has the worst.
“...I prefer colorful.”
“Father and Natori were always so strict about swears when I was a kitten. I didn’t hear Father say a four-letter word until I was almost an adult. And even now it’s sort of rare, if you can believe it.” Lune glances from side to side, then, though the affection present in his methodical expression makes it clear he’s not quite making mischief.
“Natori’s more careful, but once when I was still a kitten, I saw him accidentally spill some red ink all over his workspace, and he let one slip. Don’t tell him, though-- I think it’d make him sad to know I heard that, ha.”
Clears his throat. Sidesteps the question. “I’m sorry, I don’t use vulgar language.”
“Oh! I know so many--!!”
“We won’t be needing an exhibition!”
“...someday, we will...”
Meanwhile, Yuki stands awkwardly to the side with her paws clasped in front of her, somewhat nervously pawing a circle in the floor with one of her feet. She, like Natori, clears her throat, and eventually answers.
“I’d rather not repeat them.”
💬 - for my muse to directly say a secret or confession || from this meme and connected to this ask
“Oh, oh! I have one! It’s not a secret Natori’s a sleep-talker, but it is a secret that I once heard him say ‘I do’ to a very handsome doctor named Yuto.”
“That isn’t something to go around repeating so lightly!!”
“Eh-- what’s going on? We have to reveal a secret or confess to something? ...Alright, I have a confession for you, babes-- strap yourselves in, too, it’s gonna be a doozy.”
Well. They’re waiting.
Sniffs a few times. Clears his throat once or twice. “...Twelve years ago, I ate your piece of cake, Natori. An’ then I pinned the blame on Lune ‘cause I knew you wouldn’t be mad at him.”
“...I don’t believe either of you understood the point of this exercise.”
“What’d you expect, Natty? You know I hate exercise.”
This question is for both Natori and The Cat King
Do you both enjoy each other's company? As in, would you both consider eachother friends? Instead of just Advisor and Ex-King.
“Well, yes,” Natori replies, and without even the slightest hesitation, a fact which seems to quite utterly embarrass him once he realizes what he’d done, as he very quickly busies himself with cleaning his glasses and resolutely avoiding his companion’s eyes.
Yet, the Cat King appears unfazed by Natori’s swift sincerity; staring into ostensible space and pensively running his claws through his mustache.
When he does finally speak, it’s with a relatively nonchalant tone.
“Yeh. He has his moments. Can’t really think of anyone who knows more about me than he does, too. Pretty sure I tell him everything. Heh. Also, it’s been a real long time. You can’t really sidestep that. Or buy it, if we’re talking royal perks.”
“...that’s very near heartfelt for you, Claudius.”
“I can be heartfelt!” The king insists with an offended huff.
“Yes, of course you can,” Natori is quick to agree in a placating tone, all while directing an earnest, obliging expression to his cross companion. “I didn’t mean to imply its impossibility.”
A brief silence settles over them, with the king mutely (but relatively peacefully, all things considered) steaming over what had apparently struck him as an attack on his character, and Natori beside him looking off to some indeterminate spot on the ceiling. Eventually, however, Natori clears his throat and speaks up again, gentle, brushing his paw just faintly against the king’s before withdrawing it entirely, “...in any case, it was very nice of you, Sire.”
“Lotus cake nice?”
“Oh, I suppose.”
“You could say that, I suppose,” Natori starts. “His Majesty rather often enjoys sitting down to make a break out of watching them. And, given that I quite often accompany him near wherever he goes, I’m commonly present to view them, as well. That said, I do admit to some anticipation toward the whole event. A respite from the tedium, if you will. The content of those tapes is potentially private, however, so I’m afraid I may not be able to divulg--”
“Most of them are Lune’s baby videos,” the Cat King mentions offhandedly from afar.
Were he an anime character (let’s not get too meta, oho), Natori most likely would have pulled a face-vault. He supposes a double-take shall suffice.
“S-- Sire, are you certain--? Lune may not, ah... appreciate this kind of--” He searches frantically for a delicate word. “--personal history being shared with strangers.”
“He was a cute kitten!” The king protests lightly. Then, more casually, he adds, “Also I had to clarify because your description was veering too close into a different kind of private territory for me.”
It takes a few moments, but...
Natori will remain unavailable for further questions for at least a couple hours.
