#;ee

[danielxrk]

𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉 —— empty enigma’s first album * ( 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 ) ( 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗯𝗲 ) ( 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰 ) ( 𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻 ) ( 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 )

released may 4th, 2019 alongside music video for lead single “immortal”, “between fear and faith” is a metalcore album, and the band’s first since beginning in 2015. cameo was brought on as bassist for the group in 2017, replacing their former member, and joining vocalist squall, lead guitarist alpha, and drummer brand. rhythm guitarist reign is their most recent addition, making his debut in the band on this album. all members of the band feature on at least one song on the album, joining squall as vocalists. investigation into the bands’ true identities has proved fruitless thus far. for now they remain mysterious, with only a select few knowing the truth (unknown at the time of release: they would all reveal their identities on the fifth season of the mgas)

𝗑 𝗌𝗊𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅 (𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗈𝗈𝗇) 𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗇𝖽 (𝗐𝗈𝗈𝗃𝗂𝗇) 𝖺𝗅𝗉𝗁𝖺 (𝗄𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖺)                       𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗈 (𝖽𝖺𝗇𝗂𝖾𝗅) 𝗋𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗇 (𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇) ( all songs co-produced by heunjeok )

╬═ 1. immortal (lead single)

written by: squall, cameo, alpha, brand, reign & heunjeok lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign

╬═ 2. ways to disappear 

written by: cameo, alpha & heunjeok lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign

╬═ 3. find yourself

written by: squall, cameo, brand, apha & heunjeok  lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 4. deadly conversations

written by: squall & heunjeok lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign piano: squall

╬═ 5. sleepless in phoenix

written by: squall, cameo, brand & heunjeok  lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 6. the realest

written by: cameo, alpha & heunjeok lead vocals: squall rough vocals: cameo drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 7. this light i hold

written by: alpha, reign, cameo, brand & heunjeok lead vocals: squall rough vocals: alpha drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 8. g.o.a.t.

written by: brand, alpha & heunjeok drums: brand bass guitar: cameo guitar: alpha guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 9. high & low (**second single)

written by: squall, brand, alpha & heunjeok  lead vocals: squall vocals: reign & brand drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 10. the bomb dot com v2

written by: cameo, brand, alpha & heunjeok lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign

╬═ 11. stay still

written by: alpha, reign & heunjeok   lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign piano: squall

╬═ 12. dancing with demons

written by: squall, brand, alpha & heunjeok  lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 13. condition // comatose

written by: alpha, reigh & heunjeok  lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 14. sakura blues

written by: cameo, alpha & heunjeok lead vocals: squall drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign keyboard: squall

╬═ 15. starving for friends

written by: cameo & heunjeok lead vocals: squall vocals: cameo drums: brand bass guitar: cameo lead guitar: alpha rhythm guitar: reign

╬═ winter everywhere (hidden track on starving for friends)

written by: squall, reign, alpha & heunjeok  lead vocals: squall vocals: reign drums: brand bass guitar: cameo acoustic guitar: reign electric guitar: alpha

THANKS TO

SQUALL

it’s been a long time coming. 

 empty enigma started as a dream—with a different group of people. if you’ve been with us since the beginning, you probably remember. frankly, we sucked back then; we were just were just a bunch of guys who thought we could do whatever the fuck we wanted without knowing shit about what it was that we wanted to do. we fought, we failed, and eventually most of us just left after that, because fuck tenacity, right? 

 i don’t think about the old empty enigma much anymore. i don’t even know if i can call that—whatever it was—empty enigma. so much of this band is what our current members have made it. alpha, the first addition to the group, who impressed me from the beginning with his sick guitar skills and continues to impress me every day with how amazing of a person and performer he is. brand, who i could almost be convinced to share the spotlight with (kidding, it’s mine) and who i know i can always trust to have my back whether musically or otherwise. cameo, who was supposed to be a temporary fix and ended up sticking around—well, you know how i feel about you already, right? you’re the reason for and the inspiration behind one-third of the album. take that however you will. i do know none of this would’ve been possible without you, so i’m glad you’re permanently ours. our newest member, reign, who stepped up to help us out of a tight spot, who i sometimes unfairly butt heads with because i’m not used to sharing—i’ll work on it. all of you are empty enigma, and without you, i’d be nothing. all this? would be nothing. i owe you guys a lot, maybe more than i’ll ever admit, but for right now i just want to thank you for coming on this journey with me. here’s to many more albums.

i also want to thank my grandparents for raising me, and my little sister for being a pillar of support. and my best friend, heunjeok, who produced all the good parts of this album (well, aside from me)—love and miss you, buddy. thank you to all our fans as well, whether you stuck with us through thick or thin or are new here. if all works out we’ll have plenty of chances to perform for you again. if it doesn’t, it’s been a wild ride. kidding, you can’t get rid of me that easily. i’ll be squall till the end, so let’s meet again!

ALPHA

thank you to the breakfast sandwich i had this morning, it was really tasty. oh and also to the lunch reign bought for us on the day we recorded most of these songs... this album was brought to you by FULL ENIGMA and reign's FAT wallet!

 ...i'm being glared at and i guess that means i should actually write something nice about the members so here: hi empty enigma, you're sexy  cameo, brand, squall, reign and heunjeok, your alpha is proud of you!! this album is literally the coolest thing ever created and i know each of us is going places. (specifically, out to dinner hopefully? i made myself hungry...) 

and lastly, thank you to burger king; you made me who i am today. i'm sorry that all of my sad songs are about you - i'll write you a pretty song one day too, i promise! あなたのことは決して忘れない. i miss you.

BRAND

thanks--you know i mean it.

CAMEO

first of all, i need to thank god for working everything out so we would all end up here, which feels like at least some kind of miracle. it’s a miracle that we’re still together at the very least-- i’m just kidding, i would stay with this band forever if i could.

thank you to squall, brand, alpha and reign for being not only the best band in the world, but the best friends. thank you to heunjeok for his hard work and all of his help ironing out our messy tracks, and to my old friends who taught me bass, and alpha for teaching me guitar (and being the first person in this band i ever met, and one of the best people i’ve ever met) because without that i would’ve never been a part of this. thank you to everyone for letting me join the band, and for the fans that accepted me as a member, whether that was from the start along the way, and thank you for waiting for us through our hiatus. thank you to reign for killing it on this album without being with us for long, and for taking care of everyone so well, and to brand for making my songs better, and for always putting up with me. i’m glad squall didn’t give up on this thing and saw it through in all of its iterations, and i need to thank him for making the stage feel like home for me even when i wasn’t sure i had a place in the band or on stage at all. i'm grateful for all of the help everyone gave me on this album: writing lyrics with me and listening to my ideas and building on them-- for brand and alpha’s knack for composition, and for being willing to help me get the hang of it too. also thankful that i’m a quick learner, but that’s not as important as the rest.

thank you to my parents for raising me well and not supporting me doing music so i would know how much this really meant to me, and so i could take the fire that lit in me and put it into this album. thank you to everyone these songs are about, and proving that every experience can be good for something in the end. i’m really proud of how this album turned out, and it feels good to finally share it with everyone. i hope you enjoy it.

REIGN

honour. n.  [COUNTABLE] something you do that you are proud of.

i believe the word about sums up my feelings on the whole project,  the heavy feeling in my chest i can only describe as a sense of pride.  i have not been with the band for long,  not really in the retrospect of things,  but empty enigma in its entirety represents something wholesome to me.

it is home.

the appreciation i carry is one i can’t begin to phrase;  for the process,  for the support,  and especially for the other members,  who welcomed me with open arms.  the journey as reign has been a relatively new one,  but it’s one i will hold dear for the rest of my life.  

individual acknowledgements to everyone involved  –  to alpha,  who has been by my side since the beginning,  always there to help even if i struggle asking for it.  to brand,  my number one till the very end,  you’ll always be my favourite of the bunch.  to cameo,  who does everything with his whole heart on the line,  always inspiring me.  to heunjeok,  who once proposed a perplexing question i never got around to answering  –  you asked what music is to me.  perhaps the answer is you.  to squall,  who has challenged me to do more every day since we first met,  i’m better for it.  to the fans,  nothing would be possible without you.  

                                                                                                                                       * all songs written in korean ic; songs in playlist used only as reference                                                                                       ** high & low will be released as a follow-up single alongside its music video after mga season 5 ends

[danielxrk]

     Published on Oct 29th, 2019

Here’s a new cover, this time with some good friends of mine...you may remember them from the MGAs and definitely not anything else  ㅋㅋ This is a special one, and it’s always an honor to play with them. It was fun! Happy HallowEEn x

( with @rkxsungwoon @rkkenta @rkpwj @rkminhyun )

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daniel and sungwoon both like 5 seconds of summer. daniel has known this since he prepared an acoustic cover of youngblood for his nova audition around this time last year, only to axe it in favor of singing that cursed charlie puth song he never should’ve sang. (if hyunbin didn’t want him after all of his performances on the mgas this year, however, he doubts he could’ve done anything differently to change his mind back then. at least he made peace with something.)

the idea to cover teeth was a bit of a collaboration in itself-- daniel reaching out to the others upon the song’s release to cover it with him, naturally, obsessed with the bass line. sungwoon agreed to do it with him, but then the idea stalled by the time they roped minhyun into it. they got busy with other things, but they could’ve made time for it if they really wanted to. as much as daniel wanted to cover it, and as much as he wanted to play music with his friends again, there still wasn’t something quite right about only playing with minhyun and sungwoon. teeth didn’t have heavy drums, and they didn’t need two guitarists to cover it, but...

he knew if he wanted to play any music with any of them they’d need to get over the hurdle of the first cover without kenta and woojin. maybe they just weren’t ready yet. daniel forgot about it in favor of writing songs.

sungwoon, however, didn’t forget, and brought it up again in early october, pitching it as a halloween project, to daniel’s surprise. this time, it wasn’t just him and minhyun, but it was to all of them, and everyone agreed. daniel was overjoyed. he didn’t let himself get too carried away-- to drift too far into it feeling like they were never apart as they practiced-- but he savored the time, sure to enjoy it, time to play with them further never guaranteed. they would practice together on weekends, renting out their old practice space just like old times after kenta and woojin came back from training. 

they picked it up pretty quickly, but daniel still brought his (newly purchased) acoustic bass over to their apartment to play through his parts with the others when they were home, both for practice and because it was fun. they were going to do a full band version for their official cover video, but a couple secret acoustic versions never hurt anyone.

the video itself isn’t too elaborate; they have neither the time nor money for that, really, but they covered their practice space in spooky plastic sheets, and enlisted the help of some friends to film their special halloween cover.

daniel would like to think that this is the first of many unofficial empty enigma covers post-mgas. there was nothing in kenta and woojin’s contracts that said they couldn’t still play music together, only that they couldn’t release original music anymore and that they didn’t want them performing under the empty enigma name. they could bend those rules whenever woojin and kenta had the time and energy, and daniel would be happy to anytime. if it’s just a one-off thing, however, he’ll take and treasure that much, too.

the trademark of teeth is the bass line that drives it, and daniel opens their cover with it (and it’s an honor.) woojin kicks in with the drums, quick hits in between his bass riff, and for a few measures it’s just them-- something like a team sphere classic. the guitar builds up, then fades, peaks, then drops out, back to daniel and his bass with only sungwoon’s voice.

daniel, thankfully, couldn’t relate to teeth’s lyrics-- could gladly say he only wanted to cover it because it sounded cool. if he could attach the lyrics to a certain memory, it probably wouldn’t have been nearly as fun, content considered.

for the build up to the chorus, it’s different-- a low, growing guitar, and daniel lends his voice as backup to sungwoon, taking the lower harmony.

call me in the morning to apologize every little lie gives me butterflies something in the way you're looking through my eyes don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive 

sungwoon sings the first half of the chorus alone, then minhyun joins him as the backup vocal for the second half, and then all of them:

never, never, never ever let go

it’s back to sungwoon over daniel’s bass again for the second verse, with the lightest touch of drums from woojin. it’s a fitting song for halloween, a little dark and eerie, and daniel is glad they waited to do this until now, especially if it meant getting all of them together. it’s lighter than their previous sound, but if they’re not empty enigma anymore, there’s no need for them to conform to the typical empty enigma style. it still has a little more bite than the original though, which is saying a lot, because the original has plenty of edge, but they wouldn’t be them if it didn’t. 

this build up and chorus is the same as the last, except maybe they’re a little more into it, and it drops off into a bridge, faint backup vocals from kenta, and then ramps back up into the final explosive chorus.

the instrumental outro is where they really get their chance to shine, save for sungwoon, who already shines plenty every time he opens his mouth. it’s mainly kenta that gets to tear it up on his guitar, layered beautifully over the trademark bass line daniel plays.

never, never, never ever let go

when the video was all edited, they all watched it together, everyone giving it the okay for daniel to do the honors and upload it to his youtube channel. they couldn’t upload anything with kenta and woojin under the empty enigma brand anymore, and they decided it made sense, with daniel being the one of the band most active on youtube now. daniel and his band indeed. they were still empty enigma even if they couldn’t be in name anymore-- even if they weren’t supposed to be a band anymore --at least to daniel.

when it was uploading, naturally, daniel was on their couch, both laptop and guitar close by, and when it was successfully uploaded, he let the others know immediately. he refreshed the page too often to watch the views come in, and updated the others every time they so much as walked past him, clearly excited by this entire venture. 

“those are all your views from refreshing so much,” sungwoon joked, peering at the screen of his laptop like he didn’t believe him.

“are not,” daniel argued with a grin. “okay! i’ll stop refreshing and check again tomorrow. i have to study for a test anyway.”

he doesn’t know when they’ll all be in the same room again long enough for him to say what he really means: i missed this. it was fun. let’s do it again.

[danielxrk]

                              EMPTY ENIGMA ; THE PLAYLIST ( youtube ) ( spotify )

1. ╬═  uncontainable - set it off 2. ╬═  rockstar - daddy rock (cover) 3. ╬═  bad kids - lady gaga 4. ╬═  sophomore slump or comeback of the year - fall out boy 5. ╬═  float on - modest mouse 6. ╬═  do it now remember it later - sleeping with sirens 7. ╬═  restless - too close to touch 8. ╬═  last ones left - blessthefall 9. ╬═  have faith in me - a day to remember 10. ╬═  player haters’ ball - palisades 11. ╬═  watch out - memphis may fire 12. ╬═  against the waves - blessthefall 13. ╬═  petty trappin - slaves 14. ╬═  broken - lovelytheband 15. ╬═  champion - fall out boy 16. ╬═  down for the ride - slaves 17. ╬═  this is the house that doubt built - a day to remember 18. ╬═  dream on - blessthefall (cover) 19. ╬═  immortal - palisades

1. uncontainable  ⊰ we’re taking our crown, we’re taking it now ⊱

coming out the gate, we’re swinging. empty enigma together is an unstoppable force, or at least they feel like they are-- destined for amazing things and soaring to great heights. especially on stage, they don’t back down for anything, but it applies to their true selves, too. for a bonus, daniel and woojin box, so the metaphors 👍

2. rockstar  ⊰ dude your girlfriend is a groupie she just tryna get in, saying “i’m with the band” ⊱

squall, alpha, brand, cameo and reign are wild; there has to be at least one song dedicated to it. don’t give them too much credit and think this isn’t relevant beyond the title.

3. bad kids  ⊰ i’m not that cool and you hate me, i’m a bad kid that’s the way they made me  ⊱

everyone came to empty enigma for different reasons, but all of them have at least a little rebellious bone in their body to be part of a metalcore band. there’s some defying authority, a lot of defying expectations, and a little disappointing people in their lives that don’t think the band is an honorable pursuit, at the very least. empty engima doesn’t care. all of that aside, they came together to support each other under all circumstances. you’re still good to me if you’re a bad kid, baby. 

4. sophomore slump or comeback of the year  ⊰ i’ll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it  ⊱

empty enigma is a mystery, but also a lie, based upon stage personas all of the members hide behind, giving them the power to be whoever they want to be-- different than they really are. there’s more to the song than that, though: a dedication to empty enigma’s fans, and their devotion to each other, getting through hard times, and enjoying every moment. it’s just a matter of time until we’re all found out, and they were, but at least it was on their own terms.

5. float on  ⊰ don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy, we'll all float on  ⊱

together, they get through everything, taking everything one day at a time, and it’s all okay as long as there’s empty enigma. [sobs into my hands]

6. do it now remember it later  ⊰ remember when they said what we want can never be done? ⊱

empty enigma has had a lot of doubters, whether it’s random people or those close to the members, but in the end, they do what they want to, and the band empowers them to say so. come on say what you think, it won't mean a thing, in the end we're gonna be just fine.

7. restless  ⊰ do whatever makes us lose control, just for a night  ⊱

they all have their own troubles, but the band is an escape from that, even if it’s just for a show every weekend.

8. last ones left  ⊰ if we’re going down, we all go down together, and that’s the way it is ⊱

somehow this song ended up on this playlist when i made it the first week of the mgas, but it has new meaning following the developments of the mgas. kenta and woojin receiving contracts, everyone wanting to hang onto the band, even to the point of wishing they wouldn’t accept their contracts. the chorus reflects their original feelings, but now it’s clear they won’t stay like this forever, but they’ll still supporting each other regardless. 

9. have faith in me  ⊰ you’ll always find me right there, again ⊱

a song about how they’ll always be there for each other no matter what, even when all else fails basically, haha!

10. player haters’ ball  ⊰ wolves don’t lose sleep on the thoughts of sheep ⊱

here we have a lovely hardcore screamo song that marks the beginning of the part of this playlist dedicated to their haters, which was relevant enough before due to people hating on metalcore in general and people in their lives trying to tell them what to do. after the mgas, the relevancy increased by 200%, since daniel and kenta especially endured some hate comments and lowkey care a lot about what people think of them; empty enigma gives them strength and makes them care a whole lot less about anonymous people tearing them down. the only truth is that you’re still unknown, and empty enigma isn’t anymore.

11. watch out  ⊰ we came to change the game so get out the way ⊱

this is another self-hype song and a lil bit to haters too, and their intention to be successful and their belief that they already are just doing what they’re doing. this is another one that applies more mgas considered, because this is relevant to when they first set foot on the show. (fun fact: this was a contender for between fear and faith’s title track.)

12. against the waves  ⊰ but if it’s all the same, they’ll find the worst in you ⊱

pt 3 of songs to their haters, and a vow to stay strong in the face of them and any adversity, and the chorus applies to them wanting the band to be a source of support for people going through the same. i wonder why that “nothing can last forever” line is there haha how is that relevant haha

13. petty trappin ⊰ you say i’m everything you despise, everything you don’t like ⊱

this is the final and most relevant song dedicated to haters, all a highly applicable message to anyone that talked shit during the mgas, supercharged with some unshakable empty enigma confidence. every person that hates them is a person that can’t stop paying attention to them, after all. also a song in my potential ee follow up album playlist because they truly could’ve written this song.

14. broken ⊰ i like that you’re lonely, lonely like me, i could be lonely with you ⊱

all of the members were a little broken, and maybe they still are, but at least they’re broken (and maybe a little lonely) together where they didn’t quite fit in anywhere else. daniel also met most of them late night at a party, so that’s a bonus. (extra bonus: this is the first song i ever associated with ee; i think it was back in october 2018 or something and that think i could love you but i’m not sure line always made me think of nielwoon, perhaps i’m a psychic.)

15. champion ⊰ i’m a champion of the people who don’t believe in champions ⊱

one of the last songs added to the playlist, this is dedicated to their dreams and touches back on that constant theme of being some kind of outcast and underdog. it also highly applies to the mgas (if i can live through this, i can do anything) but this playlist was still finished by episode two of the show, so that i’m calling you from the future to let you know we made a mistake line was foreshadowing?? ee mgas was a mistake. maybe

16. down for the ride ⊰ taking over, feeling at home with you ⊱

empty enigma is home, as a band or just the friends that make it up. they leaned a lot from each other, and the band was a crazy ride-- one they’re still on together and might be too attached to. (moving forward, learn to let go.)

17. this is the house that doubt built  ⊰ we’ll sing like everyone when they’re alone ⊱

a mix of several moods on the playlist: empty enigma as an escape, strength and something that makes them feel fearless, and teamwork on top of that. it’s also a bit of a reference to their secret identities, why they used them, and what they’ve learned from them. (when you find yourself please let me know.)

18. dream on  ⊰ sing with me, just for today; maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away ⊱

the original intent of this song in the playlist was because this was probably a cover on the band’s early setlists, and you know, the whole concept applies to people going after their dreams together and performing to cope with everything, but post disbandment(?) this hits different. don’t make me explain it and just listen to it. thank you.

19. immortal  ⊰ i’m not dying, no i’m not dying today ⊱

this is the band’s lead single on their first album. please proceed to between fear and faith.

[danielxrk]

         ✞ POST MGA FINALE INSTAGRAM LIVE *  { song }

(  * mentioned, some very briefly: @rksuwoong​ @rkheejin​ @rkmason​ @rkpwj​ @rksakura​ @rksihyeon​ @rkyeji​ @rkkenta​ @rkjinwook​ @rkxjinki​ @junerk @rkxsungwoon @hyojinrk )

when the camera comes on, it’s a low shot of half of daniel’s face, the background passing behind him. “i’m still outside! i just got back from class, i was just bored...and excited to talk to you?” and he laughs; the first part is true, but the rest of the truth is that he was too nervous to start this in any normal way, with his face in full view of the camera, with nothing to do but talk. he knows he would be awkward, so he starts this way instead, even as he fumbles to open his door, swapping his phone from hand to hand until he finally gets it open.

“sorry!” he apologizes. “at least this gives more time to anyone to join that wants to...?” finally, he makes it inside his apartment, and holds the phone up to his face properly, turning at a wide angle to get the rest of his apartment into the shot for a moment before he puts the phone down again and heads to his room. there, he sits down at his desk, and sets his phone down, propped up (thank you, popsocket.) “is this a good angle?” he asks, and the comments inform him that it’s too low, so he piles up some of his books and puts his phone on top of that and gets the okay.

“okay,” he says with a nod, and then just kind of stares into the camera, hesitating, uncertain, awkward for far too long, and then he laughs at himself. “sorry, i just-- i’m not actually that good at talking. the mgas edited me to be cooler than i actually am,” well...they also edited him to look worse than he actually is, too, but he’s sure the audience has largely seen a him that’s more talkative than usual. then again, is it just him that thinks he’s quiet now? can he really say that anymore, all things considered? “i wanted to do one of these because we did our mga interviews on thursdays, and there’s a lot from those that get cut, so i wanted you guys to get a chance to...see what one is like, if you wanted?” it sounds stupid now that he’s saying it out loud, but he smiles hopefully regardless, and receives positive comments (and some negative ones that he laughs at so he doesn’t think too hard about them) so he moves on.

“the first question they ask is ‘what did you think of last week’s results?’ which i guess is a good place to start.” strangely enough, he hasn’t really thought of how to answer this, and he laughs about that too. “i didn’t actually think of how to answer these yet, so this is...a real live experience,” and then he falls quiet for a while as he thinks. “i think i’m still figuring out the answer to that question, honestly. i still don’t really know what to think.” he probably shouldn’t be as honest as he is, and he doesn’t know what’s appropriate to say on a public platform. there are no votes to be won or lost-- nothing to be edited for national television; this is just for people that care enough about him, positively or negatively, to come to his personal social media and hear him out. “they didn’t air this, but i said in my interview a week ago that if there were individual rankings, suwoong would’ve won,” and he grins. “i picked royal as winning too, and mentioned suwoong and heejin as reasons why, so i’m glad i was at least right about who got contracts,” but he wasn’t right about much else. how much detail does he go into, about how much he agonized over what he could’ve done differently that night-- how much he still did?

the silence must be telling, so he begins with what’s easy: “i really liked trc’s performance in the semi-finals, and minho hyung always brings quality to anything he does, so i wasn’t surprised they won. they deserved it, honestly, but...” but what? but if it was sphere’s team, they all would’ve gotten contracts? maybe he and woojin could’ve stayed together? maybe not. maybe it was just god’s plan that they be torn apart from the start. maybe it was inevitable. “i wish it could’ve been us, of course,” and he laughs-- looks down at his hands --a little empty. “i’m happy for them, and sakura, sia, and yeji,” and that much is definitely all true. he gives a nod of affirmation. “everyone, really, but those most of all.” he doesn’t mention kenta and woojin, because everybody already knows how he feels about their success-- his happiness can be inferred --but also because he knows he’s not entirely happy. by now, he knows there will always be a part of him that finds it a little regrettable. “there were 15 winners last year, and i feel like making it ten instead of 15 with the wide pool of talent we had was...” his voice trails off, and he grimaces a little. “it’s mnet, right?”

he looks at the comments, and there are lots of mentions of kenta and woojin, and what he said on twitter, but there’s not much more to say than he already has on twitter, unless they just want to hear him talk about it out loud. he doesn’t have much strength for that. he sees a few comments along the lines of is empty enigma disbanding? but he doesn’t have the strength to answer those questions yet either, so instead, he moves on.

“they’ll usually ask us a question about what it was like to work with our groups, and i’ll say that there really wasn’t anything that went on behind the scenes that wasn’t aired. everything went as well as it looked,” and this part isn’t really that interesting. “jinwook hyung is the best. coach jinki and hojung were really good too, but jinwook helped me a lot personally, and i’m really grateful to him.” there’s something else he remembers now, and he scowls, comically. “that mashup we performed, fiesta? they edited it like it was jinwook’s, and he did the most work, but we made that together. did you guess?” there’s a mix of i knew and what? and you did? and as expected in the comments, and he laughs a little. he sees one comment saying please make more mashups in the future, and daniel chooses to acknowledge it: “i’ll make more mashups! i think blending existing instrumentals is really difficult, but maybe if i recreate the instrumentals myself? i know guitar and bass, but i’m good with a drum machine now, and sungwoon hyung taught me some keyboard that i’ve expanded on. either way, i think it’ll be fun, and it’s not like i have anything better to do, so,” he laughs, nervously this time.

there are some comments asking how sungwoon is, and daniel isn’t really sure what to say about that. “how is sungwoon? he’s probably watching,” he laughs, even though he doesn’t know if it’s true or not. it might be too painful for him to hear him talk about it, and if not that, he’s busy, finding new ways to run from their problems as he always does. (daniel can’t blame him this time; he also goes to great lengths to avoid confrontation, including being confronted with the truth and their uncertain and likely bleak future.) “sungwoon hyung if you’re watching please say hi,” he laughs, and then shakes his head.

“i’m kidding, i think he’s busy. he’s okay though. we’re okay,” it feels like a lie, even if it’s not. they’re hanging on by a thread, but they are hanging on, regardless, even if okay seems generous. “it’s difficult, but--” he clasps his hands together, and he still doesn’t want to talk about it. he stares through his desk for a moment, trying to find words he can speak out loud, but he hasn’t been able to all week. he doubts they’ll come now, in front of a camera, broadcasted directly to his fans, if not empty enigma’s fans, so he decides to quickly move on once again.

“then they’ll ask us what we thought about our performance, and i’ve thought about it a lot, and i still like our performances,” and he smiles, close-lipped. “i think, maybe, we could’ve performed better to rank higher. i could’ve danced better and rapped better too, and i think maybe if i had, we would’ve done better than we did, but in the end...i’m glad we went out the way we did. it was fun, and something i was proud of before the results, and i think that’s what matters.” that’s all i can ask for, he almost said, but he can ask for more. he’s still asking for more. he looks at the comments again, and sees many claiming their performances were the best. “you guys are just biased,” he laughs. “‘so? so is mnet,’” he reads one of the comments aloud, and he laughs heartily, and afterwards, says, “no comment,” cheekily. 

“what else is there, uhhh...” he feels exposed suddenly, rolling through this instagram live thus far without too much over-thinking, but it settles in now and brings new nerves with it. “i can’t think, sorry,” he admits with more nervous laughter. “ah, they asked what our favorite performance and part of the season was, and my favorite performance i did were the two mashups i did this season; i think it’s a tie. the one with hyojin-ah and then fiesta that you saw on saturday,” he nods. in come many comments about hyojin deserving better, requesting another collab, and daniel grins. “i’ll contact him! i want to collab again with him too. we actually collabed before mgas too, did you know? actually, it was during technically-- when i was learning to rap for skills week. he was doing a street performance and needed a rapper, and there i was, so...it was good practice!”

it’s a perfect segway into his next answer. “my favorite part of the season was skills week, i think. it was fun seeing everyone in their element, and i also had a lot of fun performing my original rap, even if it wasn’t very good,” and many argue with him in the replies, claiming otherwise. there are a few that do agree with him, and tell him to stop rapping, but he sees at least one person quote his and i’ll still get more screentime than your faves line back in return, and he just kind of observes, wide-eyed, never really expecting this amount of attention despite rapping about it. “it was also nice to have all of empty enigma in the competition for that, and for all of us to sit together and hype each other up. it was amazing hearing the results for that too, and that all of us made it another round into the competition together.”

this brings on many questions about the band he should’ve expected, and it’s what he gets for mentioning empty enigma. one catches his eye: did you really join the show just to promote the band? and now that the show is over, he feels like he can answer this a little more truthfully, though still, not really; he picked up enough fans thanks to the show, and he’s sure many are here out of pity for him not receiving a contract, thinking he really wanted one. “we didn’t join the show just to promote our album,” he says, and he isn’t sure whether that was a lie or not. “but it was a bonus, right? it was an extra push some of the members needed, but the mgas last year taught me how important music really was to me, and i thought everyone else might be able to learn something important from this season too, plus everything i said on twitter. in the end, i’m really grateful i got to have this experience with them.”

he regrets it a little too, though. if he just let kenta and woojin stay home, they wouldn’t be in this mess. maybe they all should’ve stayed home, then he and sungwoon wouldn’t have embarrassed themselves on national tv, even more so than the former season. “but stream between fear and faith on melon,” he jokes, with laughter and a smile that lingers on his face. yes, it’s a joke, of course. he sees some questions about what empty enigma is in the comments, but there are plenty of people that point them in the right direction, thankfully.

in come more of the is empty enigma going to disband? questions, so daniel takes this as the perfect excuse to change subject, and do something he intended from the start. “aside from the interview part! i wanted to play you guys a new song.” he leaves his phone where it is and crosses his bedroom to grab his guitar from across the room, then take a seat in his chair with it. he scoots back so he has plenty of room, and so his guitar is a little better in the shot. “are you excited to see my guitar again?” he teases, and the chat gives him mixed signals-- some yes’s, some zzz emojis, both of which he can understand.

he strums, and tunes, and already feels more comfortable with the guitar in his hands, as is usually the case. “this is a song i wrote really recently-- i finished it this week, actually, so this is the premiere. this song is a little special, because all of my past songs, i wrote for squ-- sungwoon,” he has to correct himself, even though saying sungwoon in this situation doesn’t seem right either, because it is squall he’s been writing for. “for sungwoon to sing in empty enigma, even never lose your flames, but this one i just wrote for me,” and of course this prompts more questions about disbandment that he doesn’t want to answer, so he starts to play.

i wish i was more self aware maybe i'd take my own advice maybe i could make a wish without taking a risk of maybe not being right

the first part is straightforward enough-- daniel’s hypocrisy, daniel’s cowardice.

but i'm the same kid, same mission same confidence condition most of the time i just close my eyes and throw and go my decisions and that's okay that's okay sometimes

it’s a reference to his first season of the mgas, and being the same person as then, even though he felt so different, and the same mission: shine the light on his friends, never seeking any real recognition for himself, and it highlights his lack of confidence more than anything. it’s his condition. either he thinks too much or not at all, hesitates and refrains and when he finally makes a decision it’s almost an impulse-- throw and go, a reference to a gig performed without a soundcheck, made without enough preparation, but in it all is reassurance. he has such a tendency to panic that he needs it, but he wrote it for anyone else needing to hear it, too. 

i keep pushing further 'cause i know when i am here it all gets better even if it's been a year it don't stay down forever even when i'm lying here i won't lay down forever i won't lay down forever

he wrote the first few lines of the chorus during the mgas-- pushing further, believing the mgas and their stage made him and his life better, and maybe that hasn’t changed. even if it’s been a year was a reference to last season, and meant to be uplifting-- a promise that things were looking up after he lost then, but it has a different meaning now following the results. he still didn’t change the lyrics, because he liked what they meant now. it’s been a year and he still has nothing to show for it, and for now, he’s lying down, but he won’t forever. he’ll pick himself up and dust himself off...soon.

what do you know about real pain? do i really deserve anything? i never run the ship i just circle around it and pretend that i'm getting in

they’re some of the last lyrics he wrote-- about the hurt that came with acknowledging the potential of a life without empty enigma, and the feelings that came with his lack of contract offer, and thoughts of if he even deserved empty enigma, and that was why he was losing it. another reference to him being indecisive, and his tendency to never take charge and kid himself and pretend, and a reference to that pirate theme of their finale mga performance. as much as it seemed like he was in charge-- as much is it might’ve felt like it, he was never really in control of that. he doesn’t even know if he believed he was in control, or if it was just another grand ruse of his.

but i'm a hard case to break in i'm preaching day-out and day-in most of the time i don't even find the words that i keep sayin' and that's okay

this time: a reference to his faith, as is always necessary in his songs, and how much he talked during the mgas, and how differently it was always received, and how little he recognized himself and how much he spoke-- how much he regretted some of the things he said. nothing he ever says feels quite right, though, always too much or too little, but that’s just him. that’s okay.

he sings the chorus again, repetition of lines always relevant, the ones that might hit closest to home-- the ones that need to be said over and over so he remembers and convinces himself of it. it’s the main reason why he wrote this song: to force himself to believe it, and heave himself out of the rut he was so in danger of staying in forever. 

the guitar chords are simple and equally repetitive, and change a little going into the bridge.

don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself lying in the dark don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself, lying don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself lying in the dark don't be so hard on yourself i say to myself

it’s a melody he’s fond of, especially the end, where he gets to put a twist on it. this part repeats too, another mantra to remember, and that lying could be a lying in the dark cut short, or just the word lying, and he means it both ways. god knows he’s lied about a lot, even when he claims he’s not being hard on himself. 

the guitar slows down for the final chorus, and he already has intentions of a second guitar to accompany the main line of this one, if he gets a chance to record this song properly. he ends with a few i won’t lay down forever’s and his guitar sees him out, and he stays there for a moment, staring down at his frets before he looks back up to the camera, and he smiles.

what he’s met with is compliments on the song, and several seemingly copied and pasted comments of IS EMPTY ENIGMA DISBANDING? and it’s hard to avoid this time. his silence would be answer enough if he didn’t say anything. “empty enigma’s future is uncertain,” he says at last. people ask if kenta and woojin are accepting their contracts too, and daniel doesn’t touch on that; it’s not his to say, and he’s also hoping they won’t, and that he’ll have a better answer to this question by next week. “if any of us become trainees, we can no longer promote with the band, so i hope you can understand us needing time to figure it out.”

that’s a diplomatic enough answer, and he really does hope people understand. this is a good time to bring up one of the most important things to him at the present, though: “regardless, we’re having a show tomorrow, and tickets are still available. i don’t know if it’ll be our last show or not, but i’ll perform like it is and put my whole heart into it. it’s a really important show no matter what, since it’s our first show after the mgas! come out and see us if you want. it’ll be fun, and i’ll hang out for a while after at the merch table. squall probably will too,” and he smiles, eyes turning into crescents, and it isn’t as painful as he expected, even though he knows, deep down, kenta will accept his contract. he told them as much, so at the very least, they will be an empty enigma without kenta, and he doesn’t know if that’s an empty enigma worth being at all. 

“i think that’s all?” he says then, looking at his screen attentively, searching for anymore questions worth answering, but he doesn’t see anything that jumps out to him. “okay, bye! hopefully i’ll see you tomorrow, and you can meet cameo for the first time. bye! thank you!”

[danielxrk]

kdaniel98 •

that’s a wrap! thank you to everyone that came out to the show. i hope you enjoyed it; i know i did. if it was the last empty enigma show, i like to think it was our best one too.

there’s a lot i could say that i don’t think i have words for. i want to thank everyone that’s been on this journey with me, whether it was across two seasons of the mgas or across a year and a half as cameo in empty enigma, or both. it’s a little difficult to think about saying goodbye to both of those journeys, and starting a new one is scary. this new journey is one without secrets or any separation, and i don’t know what it will look like yet, but i hope this is a path you’ll be able to walk with me too. if we part ways here, i’m still grateful.

i promise that you haven’t seen the last of me as far as music goes, even if i may come to you differently. if you don’t see cameo again, know that i learned a lot from him, and i’ll treasure my time as him forever. even if cameo himself wasn’t a very good person, i think he made me a better one in the end ㅋㅋ i’ll still take him with me going forward, and from now on, show you my true self, even if i’m still finding out who that is. i hope whoever that is will be the best version of me yet, and that you’ll think so too. 

thank you ♡ empty enigma forever

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[danielxrk]

      Published on Aug 12th, 2019

EMPTY ENIGMA IS HA SUNGWOON, TAKADA KENTA, PARK WOOJIN, KANG DANIEL AND HWANG MINHYUN

thank you. x squall, alpha, brand, cameo, reign

http://smarturl.it/empty-enigma-between-fear-and-faith

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[danielxrk]

daniel @kdaniel98 • 1h

hey! empty enigma is having a show this friday! tickets are really cheap because we wanted everyone to be able to come that wanted to! [insert quote rt of the information from the official empty enigma twitter]

daniel @kdaniel98 • 45m

i’m excited to play with the band again. this might be our last show, so it would mean a lot if you came ^^ kenta and woojin have some more talents that they haven’t shown you yet