#;elly:eval

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✿ january eval;; new year, same me achievements unlocked;; ballad singing lee hi - breathe

so, singing.

it was never on elly’s list of skill she thought she would like. ever, but her rap coach said it would be good to at least have some basic knowledge of it, leading elly to think that it would help her not have to ask people to do the singing for her songs.

so, ballad singing. what better way than this? she thought. her and miss kim were on good terms, considering the fact that elly hadn’t snapped back or complained once since she came back from the survival show. it wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be to do that. sure, she got scolded a lot, not breathing properly, not taking car eof her vocal cords, not doing a lot of things right, but it was diffrent this time round.

elly wanted to learn so things were easier for her and a lot of the people around her, she couldn’t keep baekhyun until some unholy hours in order to record with him, or have wendy back her up. she needed to learn, and improve as an artist, not just an idol. 

so, she found herself sitting in one of the practice rooms, just her and miss kim, going over and over and over the same song, until they were both sure she was getting somewhere with the feelings she portrayed, the emotion in her voice, the whole delivery.

it was quite a sad song, she wanted to do a few other songs, but one step at a time, considering how the coach was willing to help her, considering their past heated arguments.

this was a step forward. which was what elly aimed some way or another.

even if miss kim still kicked her out because it was way past her bedtime, it was with a smile on her face and a laugh lingering as the door shut behind elly.

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✿ august eval;; branch out;; love the way you lie by eminem ft. rihanna with sphere’s jung soojug

it was definitely new for elly. to rap in english, which she doesn’t remember doing, and working with a person she doesn’t know at all. it as definitely new for her but she liked it.

even if she just couldn’t stop staring a soojung with admiration, because the girl was just so much and the potential was huge. if only she opened more, but that wasn’t for elly to decide, when the time came, it’d happen. 

but now, they were both on stage and all elly could do was get in the mood for the song. along their way of creating this stage, it was definitely hard for her to find the correct emotions or experience to understand it well enough herself, and make it understandable and emotional enough for he audience. so, with a few sleepless nights added to the schedule, the rapper, got the understanding. it didn’t need to be for a person, for her the person who was lying was music. an well known territory, but still, she was as lost as she first entered it.

with the survival show, things have gotten to such an escalation that elly just felt so lost, she wasn’t sure if this audition tape she did would be enough to appeal to anyone. yet, she pulled herself together and the music started, her casually sitting in a chair and listening to soojung’s soothing voice. she always had such contrasting voices work with hers,her raspy low voice. 

when her time came, she pressed the mic to her lips, and she was angry with the industry. it definitely showed through her tone of voice and delivery.

even things did get heated with their mini acting scene, similar to the ones in the mv of the couple fighting.

elly definitely went out of her comfort zone.

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✿ june eval;; swapping sunbae songs;; watching sphere boys

she loved it.

loved being so close to the stage, loved the energy, loved the feeling, but she had to restrict herself from screaming the fanchants at the top of her lungs.

she saw many familiar faces on stage, jinwook, sehun, jonghyun /the kim/ and seungcheol. sure, it wasn’t probably their idea concept and stage idea, but it was cute. it made elly smile. she herself didn’t think she’d suit something like breath, there was too much dancing, but i feel you was definitely up her alley, and she’d gladly take the task tossed at her.

then she thought about the idea of the whole evaluation. was it to push other people out of their comfort zone or make people try something new? most evaluations had a specific reason for her to be doing then, her own personal motivation, but form the evals she had done so far, this was the easiest and most fun. 

she did enjoy the cf filming, the strongest skill one, the christams evaluation. they were all fun and enjoyable, but this one, covering a whole song in a style she beyond adored, was definitely a step up in her mentality. maybe she needed to go and speak with mr byeon, he might know how to bring her down to earth.

before she knew it, the stage had finished and she got up on her feet to clap. it was definitely a fun thing to do, maybe, just maybe, she didn’t mind debuting as an idol anytime in the future. 

she still wanted to produce the most.

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✿// ready- shoot!

✿ march eval;; teady- shoot

 the whole experience of having to shoot a commercial was pretty foreign to elly. she had no clue what she was supposed to do, but you know, fake it till you make it. 

sure, the whole process was stopped a few times due some difficulties, she dropped the phone from her pocket once, as well and she felt bad about it, but nothing could be done about that. she was rather happy there wasn’t any damage on it.

at first, hyo-jin was really skeptical about this. she didn’t know what to think of having her face shown on tv again, after her dad disowned her because of that factor. it would probably spark another argument if they saw each other. however, eventually she just decided to enjoy the whole situation and position she was in. it was nice, she got to know the other two trainee;s she was with, yulhee and minyoung. she wouldn’t mind hanging around with them through lunch and maybe after practice if they felt like it.

the amount of time it took them to film the whole thing impressed elly, she didn’t think it took that short to do everything smoothly, but there would probably be a lot of editing and arranging done before anything was to air. she felt both nervous and excited about the fact that eventually, she;d get to see the whole commercial on tv. the only worry the rapper had was her acting skills, yes, she didn’t have any, but it couldn’t be that bad would it? she genuinely hoped she didn’t look stupid and her experience under camera’s from the mga;s actually helped her look natural.

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✿ december eval pt.2;; heat it up by brand new;; ft; bang minsoo, kwak youngmin, kang heegun, lee seunghwan, son seungwan 

this performance definitely made elly tear up a few times. well, maybe more than she would like to admit, but it just felt like she had a new family beside her? yeah, hopefully that made sense to everyone, because she wouldn’t say it say it out loud more than once.

so now as they walked on the stage, all wearing christmas themed onsies, the female rapper managed to squeeze herself next to wendy, a wide smile spread across her lips as she looked at the other female.

elly swayed casually to the song, listening to the other;s rapping and singing and paying attention to when her part would come on.

To be honest, I drank too much of that coffee Last summer, I’ve been chasing dreams so far

All I did was work, I want to travel again Let’s hit up the beach we filmed ‘Good Start’

of course, being herself, and having been influenced by minsoo more than she should have been, her arm sneaked around wendy’s waist, before giving the singer a wide grin that was obviously something jokingly suggestive that followed up the next few line.

Let’s heat it up in a hot hotel room, have some play time When the waves call us, let’s crawl out and walk in pajamas Get rid of all the leftover grudges that have been bothering us Ain’t nothin to worry about

honestly speaking, this was something she would actually rap about. having started her dream of being an idol, with the mga’s this summer, she was still chasing after them. and somehow, the more she stayed inside the company walls, and the more she spend time in samsung’s training centre, she got a better idea that she actually fit in just enough to be able to push forwards and achieve what she wanted to do.

well, who knew tho, she might eventually find out that she isn’t suited for constant criticism from the public, nor dieting and work outs, but she would definitely survive the next year and something, until her contract ended. then she would start to think, if royal would give her the support and road to develop, because so far, it has been a perfect experience.

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✿ december eval;; christmas spirit family party;;

she felt pretty much left out, because almost everyone was there with their family. elly didn’t keep tabs on her own, not for nearly two years now, but she preferred it that way.

she didn’t have anyone tell her she fucked up, apart from royal every now and then, so she was good. she was old enough, to be able to take care of herself, as well as other people, so it was perfectly okay. was what elly always told herself, even if she felt betrayed by her father most of the time. she never really talked about him, not even to her closest friends. he wasn’t that important.

with a sigh, she took a sip from the drink in her hand and focused on her phone in the other one, going through social media and such. it was better to look busy than accidentally meet someone’s parents and get asked why is she alone. way better. she just wanted to leave, as soon as she could, but it didn’t really matter if anyone noticed. did it?

she sighed and slipped her phone in the back-pocket of her pants and ran her free hand through her hair a few times, eyes scanning the room. hyo-jin wanted out and she was going to get it. so after a few more minutes of awkward smiles and waves, she downed the rest of the drink in her hand and made her way around the space, leaving it on a table and heading to the first exit her eyes landed on.

she knew she wouldn’t get in trouble as she pushed past the door. or at least hoped she wouldn’t get in trouble for just leaving like that.

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✿ december eval;; christmas spirit practice day;;

december was all about the ending of something old and the start of something new, something better, something more.

but elly felt like it was the time for reflection and see if her determination would handle the current situation. she wasn’t sure herself what she was supposed to do other than just go back to her usual schedule when it came to training, maybe add in an extra few hours that would be of use every once in a while.

that’s why she spend extra hours in order to get the moves perfect, the pitch of her voice as well. even if she had done be my baby before, she knew she could improve on it, a lot more. it was an easy concept, it was chic and something elly could work around very well, compared to the other song.

to my boyfriend was cute. very cute, and something she personally disliked, because the pitch was too high as well. it was a difficult song to sing and elly found herself stuck multiple times in order to sing it properly, and the only solution she had was to sing it through her nose. yes it was a technique she had noticed a lot of idols used in order to sound more cute and innocent, because that’s what the stage was about. being cute.

it made elly gag, because it wasn’t something she wanted to ever do, but forced herself into. there was less of a fight each day she went to practice, she felt less and less motivated to argue with coaches and staff, and just wanted to get over it as quickly as possible. 

just five more months of this . just five more months.

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✿ december eval;; christmas spirit performance day #2; be my baby 2.0

what better way to get back to training, than being told that she will have to perform be my baby, again.

honestly, it wouldn’t have bothered elly that much, if it was any other song. like, she did to my boyfriend the previous day, it was all good. maybe it was because of all the memories this song had to her that she was currently hating it to bits.

however, she forced a smile on her features, thank god those acting classes helped to some extend, it looked natural as she went on stage. there were a lot of people, and she could feel eyes were on her. after all, being a finalist in two survival shows, definitely meant something. good enough to be a finalist, not good enough to be a winner. and honestly, elly was just trying to survive her last half a year in royal, without any major fuck ups, and everything would be good. as good as it can be if she actually had to think about it.

when the music began playing, her body moved on its own. she has practiced this song more than she would admit. she wanted to impress people at the time, now she is just doing what people want her to do. be happy on stage and dance to whatever they want you to. 

however, rapping still gave her the passion to continue doing this, and it probably showed a lot when she took the center of the stage and began rapping. even if she was now splitting the rap into bits and pieces, with other people, she was okay with just the few lines she got.

even if this was probably the last stage she would get for this year, by the end of the song, elly was really enjoying it.