@stonedgilbert continued from [x]
Call her a coward - she wouldn’t deny it - but of everyone Elena apologized to for her past behavior, she kept putting the one person she had fucked over most off - the one person she knew she would probably never regain what they’d had.
But walking on eggshells around Jeremy, catching the looks (that she knew she more than deserved) he would occasionally shoot her that she had no idea if he intended her to see or not... it finally got to be too much, and she wound up all but cornering Jeremy and spilling her entire guts.
His response wasn’t unexpected, but it still felt like a knife in her gut, and to her horror, she felt the familiar tell-tale burn of tears pricking her eyes. She blinked, forcing them back, hoping he hadn’t notice.
She took a deep breath before replying. There were so many other things she wanted to say at this moment - how she doesn’t expect him to ever forgive or trust her, no matter how much she wishes he would; how she would have gladly gone back in time and done everything differently; how she would do anything to make things right - go back and let Stefan save her parents instead of her that night, never have spoken to either Salvatore, agreed when Jenna had suggested she spend time with some family friends in the early days after the accident...
But none of them would fix things, like Jeremy had said. And they were all in the past; all she could do was try and make up as best as she could.
“I... I know. I just... want to know... do you think we might have a chance? At being family again, one day?” The last bit came out barely above a whisper.
Fight or flight kicked in, and it was so tempting to just turn around, leave the house, stay the night with Caroline or Bonnie, give into her usual flight response. But that would only make things worse; she could tell. So she forced herself to stay where she was, though she moved a few steps back so she wasn’t quite in Jeremy’s space.