HSHQTASK058: THE FINAL CHAPTER
While the Romanovs could say they had finally entered an era of peace, stability barely existed within the family itself. Lyosha's and Anya's relationship didn't seem to mend with time, both too certain that they had been treated unfairly and too convinced that the other was wrong.
Alexei never got the words out of his mouth. He was never able to put into words why bringing Anneli back into his life was worth every little and big issue. How could he explain to anyone, let alone Anya who had always had some respect towards their duties, that this was the one last chance to do something for himself. Something selfish and something potentially harmful for no other reason but to have something he wanted. He hadn't wanted to compromise. He hadn't wanted to put his duty first. He hadn't wanted to take politics into consideration. He had wanted his personal life to look like his own instead of being a reminder of all the things that he had had to deny himself.
And occasionally, when things felt just too hard, he wondered if his childishness and weakness of will had been a grave mistake. If Anya had been right. If he had put into motion something so great that not even he and the people around him could contain it.
And then he'd be allowed to stay within the four walls of their room, and for a day, Anneli would endure the heat and the weight without complaints, without demanding any reason. The next day, he'd shower, put an ironed shirt on, walk into meetings, feel present. Then he'd be having a regular meal, and in the comfortable silence between himself and Anneli, he'd stop and realize he had chosen right. What did it matter what happened in the afternoon when he never could control anything? When his kingdom was so big that not even he had a proper understanding of it? What he could understand was what he had around himself — and with that he was quite content with.
It's one morning when he wakes up to Anneli jumping out of the bed much earlier than she's supposed to. It's the sound of retching that makes him sit up. The worry turns into joy a few days later when the bloodwork gives them an explanation. It's not that he thought it impossible, it's not that it's unexpected, but he still feels surprised and lightheaded. They manage to keep the pregnancy a secret for a few months before the family learns and some months later, when it's virtually impossible to hide it anymore, there's an official statement.
Ilari changes quite a lot. The daily schedule, the perception the people have of Anneli, the expectations people have for Alexei. It's easier to slow down now that there is such an obvious reason for it. Elena is born two years later. It's a bit after Elena's birth that Anneli brings up relocation to Helsinki. She wants it a lot. It's important. And a few years later Alexei concedes and agrees to split his time between St. Petersburg and Helsinki.
Living in two places forces him to delegate more of his duties to his siblings, cousins, Zhenya, and Oksana. Those duties keep getting delegated and delegated and delegated. He learns to let go. He learns to stop carrying everything by himself. He learns to live in the moment — and for him, those moments are with his family. It's an afternoon stroll in a park. It's a movie night without a moment of silence. It's a New Year's Eve banquet with his child on his knee opening a present.
It's forgetting to dwell on things he cannot and will never be able to affect.
