Dear Sophie,
I wrote many letters today, telling people how I feel about them but I think I never once wrote a letter to myself. Maybe it’s a silly idea, but I believe that this is something I need right now so it’s worth a try.
It’s hard to think about what I think of myself, but it’s easier to pretend I am talking to a second me. And this second me has reached so many things in her life that I’m proud of her. She has grown a lot during her time in South Korea. Not only did she get prettier and successful, she also grew up to be stronger and also smarter. She’s a beautiful woman who’s strong and while she’s currently going through a hard time… I know that she will manage.
I know you’re suffering because of the break up. I know you’re upset because the man you wanted to spend your life with isn’t by your side anymore, isn’t holding you anymore and is not able to give you the support you need right now. I know you feel betrayed and angry and pained while thinking about how you didn’t only lose the love of your life but your best friend as well, but I want you to know that things will be okay.
And no, don’t get me wrong, Sophie. I don’t mean that you will get over the pain, fall in love with someone else or be okay with leading a life without the man you wanted to marry. Maybe I am silly for thinking this, but somehow I feel like things will work out between you two. I don’t know when, or how, but you two have managed so many things that this small break won’t kill you. As long as you know that he’s the person you love, I want you to fight for him. Don’t give up on things yet, you’re stronger than this.
I believe that you sulked long enough already, my dear Sophie. I understand you were upset but being upset isn’t what you need right now. It’s not what you want to be. We both know you are stronger like this, we both know that you’re a fighter. If something is important to you, you fight for it. So why aren’t you fighting for him? Are you scared he doesn’t want you anymore? Are you scared you will hurt him? Life isn’t easy and it’s okay to be scared, but don’t let the fear overwhelm and control you. You are his sun, aren’t you? So even in the darkest times, continue to shine on him. Continue to give him warmth, even if it’s from a distance. Show him what he fell in love with, get up and prove him that you are strong enough to support him when he’s not. Because that’s what you want, after all. I believe in you, even if I sometimes have doubts while looking at you, I will always find my way back to realize how much you’re worth. You’re not going to let things pull you down, will you? I know that you will get up again and fight. Fight for your happiness. I love you, Hwang Sophie. And so do many people who are by your side. Don’t let your insecurities ruin your happiness.
