#(legally)

[podcastwizard]

showing up at chat gpt headquarters and reciting the “let me tell you how much i hate you” speech from i have no mouth and i must scream through a megaphone until [i refuse to look up the name of chat gpt’s ceo] leaves his office to kill me personally. and then i pull out the gom jabbar

[muyru-iru]

Commander Fox: I've decided...me and thorn...we want a baby.

Boba Fett: that's great news? so, am I free to go?

Commander Thorn, slamming some sketchy ass adoption papers: It's you.

Boba Fett: why is my signature already on it!?

Commander Fox: i knew you would deny it. So we forged it. Actually it's legal. Since you're a child and i'm the only parent around.

Boba Fett: since when is that LEGAL?

Commander Fox hitting the table with a judge hammer: silence. I make the rules.

[ho-ho-homosxual]

tbh I found stobotnik on tumblr and was like “aw, fucked up gay people” but like I kinda thought it was a fandom exaggeration but I just watch the movies and godamn there was no exaggeration. Outright making out with tongue then screaming “we’re gay for each other” at the top of their lungs would have been less gay than whatever the fuck they have going on canonicly

[sodawizardo]

Murdoc gorillaz niccals 🦟🦟🦟🦟

[pleasuretrade]

it's past 1am so I'm allowed to say gale cleven small dick humiliation kink

[chardama]

part three of this bc it was getting really long. Superboy joins the ppg

Dylan Utonium is not stupid.

He's a professor. He's made three girls. He's made many experiments. He's aware that he sometimes comes off as a goofball or airheaded. It comes in the field. He's aware that people who have seen him work would probably lump him into the mad scientist category.

Experimenting for decades without proper safety does things to you. Having three superpowered children you made with your own hands does something to you. He's been exposed to many harmful chemicals and many shenanigans to know that his life will never be normal. Like a proper parent, he has healthy paranoia when it comes to his girls. So he expects nothing normal. They seemed to develop powers every other day. Beat bad guys around the clock. He has learned to support them and prepare for the worst.

Then Connor comes! A boy! A boy forcefully grown into a teenager with Utonium's old chemical formula to keep him stable. Another superpowered child was made to be a weapon against Superman. A child who's only three months old and is absolutely terrified of a lot of things because he spent a good amount of those three months in a lab- in a tube.

So, naturally, he's excited. He's always wanted to be a father (you're already a father!)

(But this one's a boy!!)

Anyways-

He treats Connor the same as the girls, well, mostly. Connor seems the same but he's more wary. He's so nervous all the time. The boy doesn't want to overstep. In the first few months of living together, he made sure to make himself small. He left no messes. Dylan had tried to give him some leeway. The girls picked up on it and had literally dragged the boy out the house.

They made him his own room! The girls helped renovate, the professor takes him to buy a paint color. Then he hands Connor his laptop and tells him he can get anything he wants.

(He has so many presents in storage. It reminds him that they need to get Connor to pick out his birthday. They can do that later tho.)

The house is more lively. The girls were already rowdy with their own friends. Now, with Connor and his friends coming over every now and then, it's louder. Dylan doesn't mind. He's happy Connor is socializing. He has wacky friends too! They all get in shenanigans.

He's so happy about Connor that he literally talks Jack's ear off. Jack doesn't mind because he does the same with Danny and Jazz. The three parents will literally have hour long talks about their children and their powers. The fentons even come over to give Connor a housewarming party. Then they have to throw another party with all of connors' friends.

So, maybe Dylan is attached and angry. Not a Connor. His existence isn't his own fault. Besides, he doesn't think he could ever be mad at any of his children. They try their best! Dylan loves that! They do good (mostly) and they're still teenagers! They have room to grow!

No. Dylan is mad at one lex luthor.

So, naturally, he makes plans.

Connor revealing he was a clone of superman was a bomb shell. A very delicate bomb shell. One that Dylan prepared for if Luthor ever sought to try and take said bomb shell away. Of course, he had casually told the girls that the gloves could come off if Luthor ever made a move towards Connor. That was plan number one. But Luthor was too smart for plan one.

Plan two. If Luthor ever hacked into his computer, give the man's server a nasty virus. Courtesy of the Test Twins and Fentons, of course!!

Plan three. If one of Luthor's lackeys tried to steal the formula (or anything else really), unleash a few nasty biochemicals that Dylan has grown immune to. (Working in a lab for nearly three decades does that. The girls bring him insane things to study all the time, after all).

Plan four. Shoot first. Ask questions later.

Dylan has half a mind to test Plan Three due to the sheer fact that Luthor has the audacity to come himself.

"Utonium."

"Luthor."

"You have something that belongs to me."

"Breaking and entering is a crime."

Lex rolls his eyes. "By all means, press charges-"

Oh, Dylan is going to press something all right, like one of the various hidden buttons around the room.

"But I assure you I can settle."

"What do you want?"

"You're a smart man, Utonium."

The professor smiles as he comes to a table. He dumps the morning mail on there. "So are you. Smart enough to know you're not welcome here."

"The clone."

"What clone?" Dylan raises an eyebrow. "Last I heard from the science committee, it's still illegal to clone things. Lex."

Lex gives him a look.

Dylan can do this all. Damn. Day. Lex didn't seem to have any weapons on him. Or any bodyguards-

"Please do this the easy way. You remember my secretary Mercy?"

Whoops. He spoke too soon.

Mercy has to be some type of meta, because she steps right out of the shadows.

"Hypothetically speaking. If you did come for a clone, why come for me?"

Lex humors him. "Isn't it obvious. The clone has gotten quite attached. Don't deny it. We've been watching."

Ah. So one of Dylan's theories was right. Connor could have been tracked. Which bummer-

"So come quietly-"

"I don't have a clone. Luthor. What I do have are four wonderful children-"

Mercy moves, Dylan reaches under the table to grab an old ray gun and shoot.

Mercy dodges. Lex's form flickers. Of course, it would be a projection- it was meant to waste time-

Dylan is happy when there's a flash of green and Mercy is thrown across the room. Dylan runs over to the hologram of Lex, but the man only smirks, and it disappears.

"What is this?!" Buttercup snaps as she holds up Mercy's body. It's currently decomposing. It looks like melting Play-Doh.

Dylan turns on his computer to look through his files. Good news! The viruses are up and running. Bad news! Luthor got into most of his logs about Connor.

"Lex made more clones. That one's destabilizing."

"Ew." Buttercup scrunches up her nose as she drops the clone. Then she does a double-take. "Is that a gun?"

"The Fentons helped me make one a few years ago. It's a prototype. Shoots energy. Plasma. Ectoplasm and regular bullets." He answers as he deletes everything.

Buttercup crosses her arms over her chest. "Asshole. I wanted to punch him."

"Me too," Dylan admits. "We'll have to check the house. That was a hologram, but the woman was real."

Buttercup scowls, but she stays at his side. Blossom and bubbles come a second later.

"Found these outside." Blossom hands him two tiny communicators.

Connor stomps down with a fried gadget in his hands. "Sorry. I recognized it from the lab. It was in the bottom of the garbage bin," He cringed. He looks over Dylan's shoulder at the computer screen. He briefly sees an email adressed to "US Department of science."

"What are you doing?" Blossom is the one to ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Telling the department of science and the government about an unauthorized use of cloning, genetic modification, and an illegal use of a patented chemical that i still hold the rights for." Their dad explains as he types.

"Did you just cc the justice league?"

"They have a few members apart of the science committee."

"The fentons?" Connor asks when he sees them tagged as well.

"They also work with the government and i need to let them know how well their gun works." The professor motions to the charred remains of one of his table.

"Oh my god, you're going to get them to sue Lex Luthor-" Buttercup cackles.

The professor shrugs. "He threatened the safety of my kids." He ignores the choked sound coming from Connor and pats the boys shoulder before typing again.

"Isn't he like- mega rich?" Bubble asks.

"Im not doing this for the money." The professor says gleefully as he ccs more people. Superboy briefly sees a Dexter, the Fentons, the Test twins, and someone with the last name Allen, before he turns away. Superboy ignores the manic look their dad and buttercup are sharing.

"I'll start dinner." Blossom calls out.

"Make enough for the Fentons, they're coming over."

[champagnesiren]

hey bbs! I can barely type lmao. im mid spravato treatment (esketamine nasal spray). makes me feel kinda dissociative. I feel pretty fucked up but wanted to say hey! I love you guys! might regret this post idk. I dont even know how I look 😂😂 I feel all tingly. love you! dont forget to drink water! im drinking a cherry coke zero and eating a blue raspberry jolly rancher cause this shit tastes ass lol. wearing my zenless zone zero hoodie even tho u can't see it 😋 ETA: OH oh! my shirt is a Labrinth shirt that says 'god touched me and it fucked me up' or some shit on the back. and. so real 😂 (im too fucked up to remember exactly rn)