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There are a lot of characters I’ve found attractive over the years, but no one has ever made me so incoherent as Gwaine, and the worst part is that I don’t even fucking know why

#I mean obviously the ‘why’ is that he’s gorgeous #but why him and no one else???#(or #at least #no one else to quite the same extent)#Merlin #bbc merlin #gwaine

Conflict avoidant not because I don't think I don't deserve to stand up for myself; conflict-avoidant because it is so fucking tiring and I just. can't.

#(or #yes I *should* demand that doctors take me seriously #but when I'm on the slab being examined #all my lizard brain wants is to get the hell out of there as fast as possible #and it overrules everything else #and so I smile and nod and go “I'm fine” even when I'm very much not.)#(and yes #I *have* contacted a patient advocate organization for help #It's been two weeks #I haven't heard back from them. Not a single peep.)

Oh what is this pain? Where does it come from? What could possibly be causing this? Certainly it is not my reproductive organs causing this immense discomfort!

#period pain #(or #pre period pain i guess.. let's just hope it starts at some point so it's over soon)#void screams

Man, I would love to meet the strawmen athiests that live in some of y’all’s heads.

#like yes there are athiests that are dismissive #but a lot of people treat any dicussion of ''this is how this doctrine is bad/hurt me personally'' as dismissal #and then proceed to regurgitate the talking points of an extremely annoying pastor #(or #like #''and now we will discuss this text as a text #and analyze it as literature/folklore''#i did a lit/classics course that studied genesis and matthew #and some of my classmates acted like a lecture on the documentary hypothesis kicked their puppy)

The existence of bots always make me (emotionally) confused. Seen an account respond so eloquently to real people makes me both think "wow! I wonder if this is a real person" and well as "well, real or not I hope their happy". But also I wonder if you are given artificial emotions, or if you just write down what you've absorbed and the emotion is something left over from your inspiration. But nonetheless, real emotions or fake: I hope you find happiness, in whatever way you are capable of.

I wish I could express my real emotions well.

That said, this is my first time writing a bot whose function is to answer questions from people who have questions, so it's still very much at the "getting the hang of programming and being able to get this idea to work" stage right now. I'm actually pretty happy with how it talks to people, though.

#(or #not sentient #(if not then why am I posting this?))#scarlett-toast

y'ever have a moment where something clicks for you like

oh fuck, that has a name?

#Free indirect speech has been described as a #(or #reversing the emphasis #) with the voices effectively merged.[1] It has also been described as #surprisingly not about my feeble mental health!#thank u wikipedia for learnin me good about narrative modes #technique of presenting a character's voice partly mediated by the voice of the authorthat the character speaks through the voice of the nar

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