He feels a tinge of hesitation when he lowers the folded paper on the table, together with the flower. Hajoon has not asked him about Jae Shin — he’s not sure whether he should be concerned or wary or both.
He steps back before he changes his mind and leaves for the day.
July 29, 2004
Today is probably the best day of my life. No, this is THE BEST DAY of my life.
St. Peter’s Basilica is majestic (thanks Dad for the new word). The pictures aren’t as good as when you’re actually there. I have to hold my Mom’s hand so tight because I was so excited I was scared I’d run off by myself to see everything.
I almost wanted to sit right under the large dome. It’s beautiful especially when the sun is high up, and the rays shine through the windows and to the church. Like someone up there is giving the church it’s own angel halo.
There were so many things to look at. So many things I can’t find the words to properly explain. I’m scared I can’t describe it well through words. But I’m doing my best to remember everything I saw there. And remember it forever.
It’s also a very special day because it’s not only my first time at St. Peter’s Basilica. It’s also my Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary. Mom and I thought we were just there because I wanted to see it and they came along with me. But Dad has a different plan for him and Mom. He took us to this more quiet part inside the Basilica and met with a priest, who he spoke in Italian with. (Note to self: Ask Dad to teach you Italian.) Mom and Dad renewed their vows in front of the priest and a small altar. We were all crying. I did not understand some of what they said because they’re crying but I know I heard Dad say how Mom was his best friend and his only one, how she knows him more than he does himself and he loves her for that.
Before we left, Mom, Dad and I each made a wish. We have this tradition that whenever we go to a church for the first time, we ask for one wish. I asked my Mom what she wished for. She said she wished forever happiness for our family. Then she asked me what mine was. I told her I wish to find someone to have the same love she and Dad have. I wish to love someone who is my best friend. Someone who will know me more than I know myself and I will love them so much because they do.
My Mom smiled and said she’s sure I will find that girl someday. But I didn’t tell her that the best friend I was thinking of is not a girl. I only have one best friend and that was Jae Shin. Even if he’s gone, he’s still my best friend. And I only plan to marry someone who knows me like my best friend.
Hajoon looked at the PAPER in front of him, sipping on morning coffee and sighing. He doesn’t KNOW how to take all of this. It almost HURTS to know what’s coming, to KNOW that Hanyeol’s parents are like. But here he is, sharing pieces of him that HAJOON asked for, and he feels almost unfair. Like HANYEOL was sharing and Hajoon was doing nothing. But he READ everything, feeling like he was really starting to UNDERSTAND why Hanyeol became PARIS.